I'm baaaaaaack!

Well hello there again!

So...I'm back and ready for action!  I had my beautiful baby boy on March 11th.  He'll be 8 weeks old on Wednesday...and mommy's ready to lose some poundage!

Bad news...I lost a ton right after he was born, but with the medication I'm on to help with the breastfeeding, and eating all the damn time, 2 deaths in the family and a bit of PTSD I'm almost back up to what I was the day he was born! 

I am in DESPERATE need of support.  I dont have any clothes to wear and I've never been this heavy (not pregnant) in my life!

It's really really hard for some reason...possibly sleep deprivation has a small part in the scheme of things.

I hope all of you are doing well...and I look forward to getting back in touch with all of you.

Wow...been a long time!

Hello there all my buddies in weight loss land!

I'm sitting here... 36.5 weeks pregnant, and getting antsy to get back with you all!

Never ever have I been this heavy in my entire life, and it sucks!  I mean, I know it's worth it and all...but seeing those numbers on the scale (inching veryyyyyy close to 200) is scary for me.

Pregnancy has not been kind to me this time, and I'm so very glad that it's my last one!

We're having another boy, and so far he's still nameless...lol!  I'm very round at this point.  Had an u/s yesterday and baby boy has back fat <giggle>  How come back fat on a baby is cute...and not on me??  Carrying around a TON of fluid, so hopefully that will help when it's time to start dropping the pounds.

Just wanted to pop on and say hello to everyone, and that I do think of you often!

See what happens when...

You drink the water??? 

Angela had emailed me and told me to get my ass back here. So here I am.

Although...I cant really participate right now...because I'm pregnant!

Miss me?  LOL!  No this was NOT planned...in fact, I joke that we'e going to have to name the baby Trojan...

I miss you all.  I apologize for flaking out on you all.  I've had some health and family drama stuff going on, and truthfully have NOT had my head in the game for a while.  Now I have to get it back in at least a bit, so I dont gain a TON over the next few months.

I'm gonna try and pop in and check on you all...my wireless connection is kinda quirky today, so we'll see how far I get!

Update from drs appt...

So, I've been having some really horrible headaches for a few months now.

I was also having quite a hard time controlling my asthma. So I played a dance with my inhalers...my doc had put me on a new inhaler. Today I had an appt...she asked how my asthma was, I told her no better, no worse. So we decided to stop the new inhaler (because it has a higher DEATH! rate) and put me back on my old one. She had put me on a new allergy medicine (xyzal-because the Zyrtec which I loved...didn't work so well for me this year) which worked great but I had stopped taking that because of the headaches...

She had given me Ambien to take because I am having some insomnia issues, but I didn't really take that much because I felt hungover....

Well...dh thinks that the headaches started when I started the birth control back in January...so now, she told me to stop taking the birth control.

So now...I'm back on my original asthma meds (3 inhalers) a newer allergy medicine (clarinex...anyone take it?) and she gave me something new for sleep...

well story of my life, I'm really having thoughts of getting pregnant again. Um...I'd gotten rid of EVERYTHING after ds was born...I had kind of nightmare pregnancies...and now I'm off the pill...

I'm thinking of being really naughty and seeing if maybe I shouldn't take any of the new meds that she gave me (the allergy or the sleep aid) and just take Benedryl at night for my allergies and to help me sleep. But I know that I can't take benedryl if I'm trying to get knocked up because it will dry me up...

And...um, I'm kind of thinking of asking for Clomid too....that was going to be the second line of attack if the progesterone suppositories didnt work with ds-apparently the clomid helps something with the progesterone level...but I don't remember what.

Oh and my friggin thyroid is off again, she wants to me have it retested in 3 weeks...

WTF is wrong with me????

I kind of know what's wrong...I had a patient a couple weeks ago, that came in...was gonna have surgery (she was in her 50's) found out she had massive cancer....her two children lived in NYC...and she was all alone...she told me she wished she'd had more children...ever since then, I've been a hormonal mess.

Did I mention dh was completely against having another baby???

FUCK...any advice would be really appreciated! any girlies with wicked headaches in the mix?  They are by far the worse I've ever had...ugh!

Shes not concerned with my weight, 160 today on a full belly completely dressed....but I'm not thrilled with it

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

Quickie

Still here...still trudging along.

Still wondering why I'm having such a hard time right now...and then thinking myself a dolt because I obviously know that stress and stress eating is not helping the situation at all...ugh~

Got a few days off work, hopefully I can regroup a bit and get completely back on track.  hope you all are doing well.

Oh it's always about the drama!

Ok, so i haven't posted in a while...partly because I'm embarrassed that once again I kind of fell off the train.  But mostly because I didn't want to hear myself whine!

Got some big family drama going on right now (dh's side not mine) but it makes me really sad...and what do I do when I'm sad...cry and eat...and eat.  Bonehead that I am! I did have a couple pepsis too...but, I really haven't gone overboard with it, so I'm proud of myself for that.  However, I'm not so proud that I haven't been exercising...basically at all :(

So anyway, tomorrow I'm going to resume my on plan eating and ladies...I really think I'm gonna start the C25K tomorrow.  Yes...you are hearing that correctly.  It's in black and white.

Now I just have to figure out how to upload a podcast....gwynn....help! I really think I may be able to do this...especially since I plan to start in my basement...on the treadmill with nobody watching.

Hope everyone is doing well and I will check in with you all!

Inching it's way down...

155.2 today..that's the lowest I've seen this go round.  So...only 10.2 pounds til goal...woot woot!

gosh, I saw a pic of myself last May and I looked great (if I do say so myself) and now....not so great.  UGH!

Got another good night sleep last night, which is nice.  Hopefully tonight too. 

Going to exercise today.  If I can maintain 155-156 with no exercise, think of what I would be if I actually moved my ass out of this chair!

As you can see....still haven't started the C25K, I dont know what I'm so scared of.  I just cant seem to make myself do it.  ARGH!

Hope everyone is having a great day...and chug a lug <giggle>

Ditto-1, insomnia-5

So last night I took a sleeper...and slept like a ROCK!

this morning...I feel kinda hung over.  But I feel so much better.  Yesterday was a rough one.  I wound up getting a headache at work.  Luckily there was nothing going on, So I just kind of chilled out and relaxed.

Now I'm off for the next 3 days...woohoo!  It's nurses week at the hospital...great time for me to be off <giggle>

I did my annual employee survery, they wont like what I said, but who cares.

Gotta get some exercise in today...but I'm being lazy again.  Why?  I know what I want...and I know what I have to do to get it...but I'm still being ridiculous!

I hope everyone has a great day!

I forgot to tell you...

I fought the good fight this weekend...

I had a can of ice cold Pepsi in my hand...and did NOT drink it!

Arent' you proud of me...I'm proud of myself!

move it to lose it Monday!

Excuses....I am exhausted.  I am very nauseated... Today is day 4 out of 4 for me at work...did I say I was exhausted yet?

The insomnia is getting worse...and I haven't taken my allergy meds in days and for the past 3 days I've been having very vivid dreams/nightmare.   However, I haven't had a headache in days either. I 'm not exactly sure what's worse...having headaches...or not being able to sleep...obviously both is worse.

I did my Yoga this morning, and my plan is to take ds and my nephew (if he shows up) for  walk this morning, then work this evening.  Thank god tomorrow is my day off..and I'm contemplating starting the C25K tomorrow....

Good news, weight after cheat day 156.6  so 1 pound up from yesterday. Spent some QT in the can yesterday too...woohoo!

Ok, well gotta get some hosuework done.  Love you all...hope you had great weekends!