It’s finally Friday! 

This morning I crawled out of bed at 4:30 am, peed, and stumbled upstairs to the meet the enemy – the scale.  I stepped on, waited for the numbers to stop (I have a digital scale that kinda does the Biggest Loser thing), hoping and wishing that it would show that half pound loss that would put me at unofficially three pounds this week.  The numbers stopped and I lost ONE pound for a total of 3 ½ pounds this week.  I had to repeat the process one more time to make sure that I saw right.  YEAH!!!  But all this is unofficial until tomorrow morning’s WI.  I’m pretty sure that it will be a fat loss instead of a water loss because my blood sugar was less than 100 too.  I’m discovering that my weight loss and blood sugar levels kind of parallel each other.  I know this is going to change as soon as I hit a weight were I won’t have to take the dreaded Metformin, but until then…I will do the Fat Be Gone Happy Dance!

I asked hubby last night what he wanted to do about dinner tonight.  I was planning in my journal and he was evasive.  I’ve got 10 points left for dinner, but wanted something light since my WI is tomorrow am and I don’t want to screw up this morning’s results.  I think I sent hubby an e-mail saying I wanted to get a salad at McDonalds on the way home.  We carpool.  He can have BLTs or something else for dinner.  I haven’t gotten his reply but he more than likely won’t give me any crap about it.  Sometimes he can be on the cheap side.

Just heard from him.  “No problem.”  Yeah!  

Ok, if you haven’t tried McDonalds’ Southwester Salad, OMG – you have to really soon.  They are delicious.  With grilled chicken it is 5 points and then the dressing is 3 points.  I only use a third of the dressing packet (I use my scale and weigh it), so it is only one point for a total of 6 points for the whole thing.  The dressing has a bite to it and seriously, you don’t need a lot.  

My lunatic boss is back and keeping me busy, which is a good thing and bad thing.  It doesn’t matter what I do, I will do it wrong and she will be in my face about it.  I tried once to question her as to exactly how she wanted something so I would do it right the first time, but she just repeated her instructions back to me like I was a two-year old.  So, what the hell…right?  I’m glad to be busy because the day goes by so much faster.

I haven’t heard anything about either of the jobs.  Not a good sign.  Oh well.  Not meant to be I guess.

Well, I will try to blog this weekend and next week while we are on vacation, but no promises because I don’t know how busy we will be.  

Well, the second interview went well, but the one with the hiring manager, not so good.  I blew it.  He asked the most vague questions and I stumbled, stammered and some, I drew a blank.  Dang!  So, I came back to my desk to drown my sorrows in a diet coke and rice cake.  

Oh well, I want the other job anyways.  I sure hope I hear something soon.  I hate waiting.

And if I don’t get that one, at least I have a job, even if it is with psycho woman.  Thank goodness for prozac.

Did yall notice the weight graph thingy??  I know it’s not a big deal to a lot of you, but it is to me.  Watch that red line descend!

Whew…it’s only just past noon and it’s been crazy here at the office.

My narcissist boss is traveling, so it would be the perfect day for three interviews right?  I had one at 10am, and then I have one at 1pm then the last at 3pm.  The interviewer was late for the interview, and then we ran over.  I think I did pretty well.  When I got back to my desk, my boss had phone three times and I had three other calls on my voice mail.  Jeez….I can sit here for days and my phone never rings.  Isn’t that the way it goes?  My next interview is over the phone…how easy is that.  Then the last one at 3pm is with the hiring manager.  

I really really really want the other job I interviewed for on Tuesday.  Either one is a zillion times better than what I have now.  I love watching Hell’s Kitchen.  I told my husband the other night that I would rather work for Chef Ramsey than the nut job that I do work for.  At least he does praise, something that is totally foreign to my boss now.  I don’t even remember the last time she had a nice word for me.  

Last night hubby went to a recognition dinner for a group he volunteers with.  I opted to stay home because (1) I didn’t volunteer and (2) they always have a very high caloric dinner with a decadent dessert that I didn’t want to be tempted with.  So, my husband brought me home biscotti, thinking it was point friendly.  He meant well, but I wish he wouldn’t bring home food gifts.  

Saturday is WI.  I do weight myself every day and I have unofficially lost 2.5 pounds this week.  I have stayed the same for two days, so I’m hoping that I can eek out that other half pound before Saturday morning.  It still won’t be enough to get my 5% award, but that’s ok.  

On Sunday, we leave for vacation.  I am filled with dread that the airlines will say I’m so fat that we need to buy two seats for me.  Wouldn’t that be so totally embarrassing?  I have had this thought in the back of my mind since my husband booked the flights over six months ago.  

We will be gone for almost a week.  A week of restaurant food.  A week of temptation.  I am putting plans together to help combat these issues.  If a week from Saturday at WI, I’ve stayed the same or only gained one or two pounds; I will consider it a victory.  I really am going to try my hardest and try to make wise choices.  

Ok, my find for the week.  Sometimes I’m a little behind the times and it takes me longer to make these discoveries.  If you haven’t tried these, you have to go out and buy a box.  They are Newtons Fruit Crips.  I’ve had both the Apple and Cinnamon and the Mixed Berry.  Both are fantastic.  There are two cookies/bars in each package, 100 calories, 2 grams of fat, no fiber, but these stats are for both cookies!  Weight watcher points = 2.  They taste like crunchy pop tarts with pie filling in the middle.  It’s not gooey filling, but flavorful enough.  Someone told me that they put theirs in the microwave and put low fat ice cream on top.  I love mine plain.  YUM YUM YUM.

Ok, almost time for interview No. 2.  Everyone keep your fingers crossed!

My first post. 

I’m usually a lurker.  Well not usually, just about 97% of the time, I’m a lurker.  I’ve got trust issues, but most fat people do – so it’s a big boat.  I did reach out to someone on Dottie’s website that was looking for a weight loss buddy, but I was ignored.  Ok, now that I have everyone in tears…  So for now, I’m my own weight loss buddy.  My goal is to blog about my challenges and victories and if I see them in print, they will mean more than just if they are in my head.

I’ve got over 100 pounds to lose.  Sigh.  I think in my life I have lost over 1,000 pounds and regained it back.  A typical yo-yo.  I’m middle-aged, have type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, ulcers, and two bad knees.  I have to make this work this time or I won’t live to see retirement.

Another motivation that I have is that my mother is really sick.  My mom lives out of state.  Last time she saw me, she was so proud of me because I was about 75 pounds lighter than I am now.  She has no idea that I’ve gained all that weight back.  I can’t disappoint her.  I just can’t.  I want to go visit her and I can’t do that either.  

I re-joined Weight Watchers last month.  I should put about 20 “re’s” in front of joined because I have been in Weight Watchers so many times.  I got the buy one month and get one month free special.  Well, you join, you give them your credit card number and they don’t start billing you for all the upcoming months until after November.  But, I get the e-tools!  My meeting/weigh in day is on Saturday.  Meetings will be an important part of this for me.  I need that accountability.  I’ve been to three meetings so far, including my introductory meeting.  My leader is totally awesome (80s phrase).  It’s like I’m going to a comedy club with a message just for me.  She’s been in my shoes.  She too has had Doritos calling her name in the middle of the night.  She too has had secret candy stashes, etc.

So, this is my third week on the program.  The first week, I lost 5.6 pounds!  Last week, I lost 2.4 pounds for a total of 8 pounds of fat gone.  Now, even better – my blood sugar has dropped over 30 points!  It’s a very simple program.  It seems like I’m eating all the time.  I like this point system. 

Physically, besides the blood sugar points, I can’t tell that I’ve lost 8 pounds.  But mentally, I’ve got confidence again.  I work for a total nut case.  Everyday, she beats me down and sucks all the self-confidence out of me.  After I lost that the 5.6 pounds, I actually applied for two other positions in the company.  I’ve had interviews and made it to the last steps.  Now for each position, I’m one of the finalists.  I had no confidence before, but I’ve had a small accomplishment and that’s all it took.  

From the Weight Watcher’s website, I found this really great stir-fry recipe.  It was absolutely wonderful.  My husband loved it too.  I can’t wait to make it again. 

Armed with recipes, a plan, this blog – I will make it work.  I will stay motivated through plateaus – I will release the skinny woman that is lurking somewhere inside of me.