04/05/2012 23:09
Under 300
Lost another pound this week, so I'm under 300. It feels weird, I've only lost 21lbs but sometimes it feels like a lot, sometimes it feels like a drop in a very big bucket.There are changes to my body, but I don't know if they're real, or just in my head.
Today, as I was driving home from my WW meeting, it hit me that I was under 300. I've been excited about it for the past week - I ordered my "20lbs/under 300" motivation reward - but it didn't really hit me until then. I am still thinking of myself as that 320 girl. I'm not her. Sure, I may not get my one to two pounds a week, some weeks I might stay the same or even go up after weeks of hard work. But my weight is now 200-something.
My mind is kind of blown.
02/23/2012 23:00
Six years and 54lbs
I've been a member of ExtraPounds for six years (or I will be in two weeks). This is amazing to me, because I've managed to accomplish so little in that time period, and not just in terms of weight loss.
When I joined EP I was 21 and weighed 273. At my heaviest weight--some time in January of 2010--I was 326.5. That's 54 pounds MORE than when I began. Talking about discouraging!
In 2010, I did manage to lose a little weight on my own. I managed to get down to 304.5 in November of that year. While 22lbs is certainly nothing to sneeze at, I managed to gain most of it back.
Today was my official weigh-in day, and I weighed in at 305.5. I've lost 13lbs since joining WW. I'm not saying WW is perfect, or that it's for everybody, but so far, their new program is helping me do what I've been struggling with for years: change how I look at food. I know 13lbs is a lot to lose in 3 weeks but I'm not worried yet. With as heavy as I am, and my unhealthy eating habits (especially concerning the timing of meals, with my weird schedules at both my jobs), I figured that the first month or so, I'd lose more than what's considered normal. I expect to even out to 1 or 2lbs a week after that, so like I said, not worried.
I know I've overturned many a leaf in my lifetime, but this does feel different. Maybe it's because of WW, maybe it's because I've got a support system (my sister and mother are also trying to overhaul their eating habits with me!), I don't know. Maybe I'm just still optimistic because it's all still "new," and I'm still losing weight. But I think not. I think change is here to stay.
02/13/2012 08:18
8lb victory
Lost 8 pounds my first week on WW, despite being out of town all weekend. I tried to make sensible eating decisions and to move more. Between the long walk and the trampoline, I did okay. Or 8lbs okay.
This week has been harder. I'm still trying to eat responsibly and to move every day. I know I cannot expect another 8lb loss, but I am aiming for two pounds. If I can lose 2 pounds, I will have lost 10lbs all together. I'll be within 3lbs of leaving the 300's behind FOREVER. And, what's more, is that I will have lost 5% of my body weight. That was my first goal.
01/13/2012 08:38
Something new in OneTwo
I have been saying this for years and I've managed to do it for brief spates of time, but I'm determined that 2012 be my year--in more than one way. But in terms of this blog, I'm going to make changes to my life. Big changes!
At one of my jobs, they're trying to get people to join the WW group there. I tried WW once when I was 16ish, but I didn't get too far. It was on me, because at the time I think I was just embarrassed about the whole thing. But the ladies in this group are pretty great and the leader seems unfailing positive but not in a "kill it with fire" sort of way. Plus, my job will reimburse half of the cost if I stay in the program for the full 12 weeks. I don't have a lot of money right now (in fact, at this very moment, I have $8.65 in my checking account until I get paid next week), but I've decided to go ahead and do it. My health has to be a higher priority, even if it means scrimping even further.
I've had some personal setbacks already this year, but I am, through the power of Christ, moving through it. A fellow EPer was kind enough to comment on my last post, and when I visited her blog, I saw that she'd posted a sort of "to do" list for 2012. I've decided to take a similar tack.
- Win my church group's Biggest Loser competition (ends in March)
- Lose 10% of my body weight before K's wedding (May)
- Lose 10 additional pounds before my birthday (June)
- Lose 15 more pounds before my August rafting trip
- Lose 10 pounds before H's wedding (October)
- Lose 30 more pounds before Christmas
- To do something active every day
- Swimming lessons
- To learn how to run (for joint safety reasons, I'm waiting until I lose some weight before I tackle this beast)
- WARRIOR DASH 2012!!!
I'm going to have to figure out some rewards to motivate myself. Trouble is, finding things that aren't food-centric. I would like to do something for every 5lbs lost, but I don't have a lot of $$. Otherwise, I could just buy myself books and new jeans every time I went down a dress size :P
Well, I feel ready to take this year by the balls and yank. Who's with me?
12/20/2011 04:45
Another year of being fat
I have noticed a pattern of weight in my life. Every July, whilst floating down a river in a canoe, I count the days until Christmas and say, hey, I could lose 50 pounds by Christmas if I really tried. Of course, 50 pounds means I'd need to still lose 150 more, but hey, 50 pounds is 50 pounds, right? So I'm good for a week, and then something comes up and my healthy eating habits run out the window. I'm not saying I'm reaching for the fried chicken and ice cream, it's more like, my work schedule is screwed up for X reason so I'm eating really late at night. Or payday is two weeks away and fresh produce is out of the question completely, and I'm living on ramen because it's $0.16 a package and still barely in my budget.
So the holidays come and go, usually leaving me a present of 5-15pounds around my middle (or, most recently and embarrassingly, on my back!). I tell myself that new resolutions never work, so I'll keep it on an even keel until February first and then start a new regime. My goal is ostensibly 50 pounds I break it up so it's easier to chew. 10 pounds before X date. Then the same thing happens and before I know it, it's July again.
Where am I going with this? I'm going, believe me. Here's the crux.
I'm a writer that doesn't write. To try and push myself, to give myself deadlines, I'm putting together a blog. Here in lies the problem. My blog would be about life as I saw it. No big problem, right? Except the weight thing. If I announce in my blog that I'm going to lose weight, it puts pressure in all the right places and gives me a deadline, goals, inspiration and blah blah blah. But there's a huge part of me that doesn't want to do it. Here on EP, no one knows me by my real name, so it's "safe." But safe hasn't helped me lose pounds, if that makes sense. I think chronicling my weight loss journey (successes AND failures) would motivate me. But there's a big but here, and I'm not talking about my own caboose.
I don't like people knowing I'm trying to lose weight. I don't like people judging me. Get over it, I know you're saying. You're doing this for them, not for you. And you're right. I am. I want to lose weight to be healthier, to do some of the things I used to do but can't now (I miss you, rollercoasters!). To do new things (hello skydiving!). But by including weight into my blog, I'm concerned that people will see me as just another fat girl and not pay attention to any of the other things I might be sharing (such as links, book reviews, or anything else really). I know this world is unfair and that I can't change that, but still... the thought of being totally discounted just because of my weight hurts. It hurts in my every day life; I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to put up with it online, too.
Coward? Yes, I know. But at some point, it just gets to a point where I'm tired of being hurt.
04/15/2011 17:40
Pacing the snail
According to the plan to lose 26x26, I am nine pounds behind. But I lost 2.5 pounds this week, so I'm taking encouragement from that. I've been working six days a week for the past three weeks, anywhere from 50-60 hours a week at two jobs, on top of my other obligations (instructing, classes, etc.). I've been really stressed and I will definitely cop to emotional eating. I have been putting forth an effort to restrain myself in terms of the emotional eating, but I haven't tried to make myself by physical outside of class because, frankly, it would just be too much at the moment.
The Mother's Day rush at job #2 will be over soon, and then I will start making myself be physical (or at least guilt myself when I'm not). Even though I'm not under the 300lb mark, I'm getting season tickets to Six Flags anyway. The way I figure it is, a season pass pays for itself if I go for 1.5 days. Since I'm not exactly rolling in the money, buying the ticket seems expensive, but it provides ample opportunity not only for cheap entertainment this summer, but also exercise. I mean that literally, since I can't afford to eat within the park, so the junk food is not much of a factor. And all the good stuff is at opposite ends of the park, so there is a lot of walking, climbing, or even swimming in the water end of the park.
Hopefully, this will be a good thing. Even if it doesn't help me lose weight, at least I get to ride rollercoasters!
11/16/2010 11:22
Still here
I'm still here, just been busy. I dropped 1.5 lbs this week, but I'm not sure how much of that was luck, and/or blood loss. Either way, I'll take it. It is, however, slightly discouraging that I'm 3/4 done with my challenge to lose 20lbs before Christmas, and I've only lost 3 lbs. I'm 10.5 lbs behind.
I guess I should reverse this point of view and say, I am at least 3 lbs from where I started, and that's 3lbs less than I will have to lose again, so it's not all bad.
I will keep moving, putting one foot in front of the other. It's all I can do these days.
11/03/2010 17:34
Insert post title here
I'm back on my water regimen. I don't know if that's the cause of my 3lb loss, but I'm inclined to doubt it, since I've only been back on the wagon for two days. I'm 7lbs away from my goal. 7lbs is not a whole lot, but I'm trying to eat into the headway (figuratively eat, not literally). I don't want to fall so behind that I feel like I can't win. Because I know I totally can.
I've decided that if I can meet my goal (20lbs by Christmas), I'm going to buy myself one of the journals I've been eyeing at Barnes and Noble. If I lose more than my goal, I'm buying myself a book, too. If I meet my bonus goal (kind of unrealistic at this point but hey, a girl can dream, right?), I'll break down and buy one of the out-of-print books I've been looking at online.
Let's hope that, in addition to meeting my weight goals by Christmas, I can meet my "getting-another-job" goal, too, because I need money to fund my rewards program :D
10/24/2010 15:58
Quoi?
So apparently I gained 2.5 pounds since yesterday. I am now practically where I started. To quote my airhead cousin, FML.
10/23/2010 18:57
Beat goes on
Had a rough week. Not going into it, just going to sum it up with the food part of the week wasn't bad until the past two days. Also, tomorrow is my normal weigh day, but I forgot to weigh last week, so I weighed today for last week. If that makes sense. I'm restarting my cycle tomorrow. Not that I expect to lose weight from today and tomorrow, I just have to burn a week to get back on track.
I am 5.5 pounds away from my goal, and twice that, obviously, from my Bonus Goals. But I am still in this to win this. My goals this week are to get back on my water routine (I've been horrible! Not much water, mostly soda or, worse, just mindless snacking), and exercise. I am, at least, still in the single digits. 300 (or better yet, 299) is still within my sights. I can do this.
Now, I'm off to shower this week off my skin.
