i had another awesome day on the eating front. go me! i just wanted to reflect on the fact that although it might seem like, "oh man, noodles got within 2 lbs of goal and then relapsed back to past half way," i am not feeling that way at all right now. (although that is not *always* the case...in weaker moments I might admit to feeling that... ;)
but really, being here, right where i am now, is WAY better than where I was before I started this whole journey back in November. it's way better than the first time i got down to the weight i'm at now. let me tell you what the difference is between now and then.
before this, i had never lost a significant amount of weight in my life even though i gave feeble attempts here and there post-college (before then i never had to worry about it). but i never lost more than, oh, 5 (non-water weight) lbs, MAYBE, and never for more than a month before I put it back one. i really didn't know if i could do it before. and now i do. i know i can get back down.
in fact, it's even better than that. i know HOW. i'm no weight-loss expert, let's get that straight, and i can't promise that there won't be any lapses in the future (ironically, i have learned that i can almost guarantee a lapse sooner or later!), but i know what i need to do. so when i do lapse, which will happen, i will know in my heart that when i finally make up my mind again that this is important to me, i know how to drop the pounds.
I've stopped going to the gym. And when I say stopped, I mean since Sunday. Two days off feels like an eternity to me! Anyway, it is intentional. I decided to focus on one thing at a time, and at this time, that one thing is going to be eating. I'm sure I'll not be able to keep myself away for too extended a period anyway since I am already starting to miss it. But I thought that part of the reason for all my over-eating was because I was not fueling myself well enough during the day.
Funny story about my trip to Walmart yesterday. I spied this new Smart Ones dessert called Mint Sundae. It looked awesome - basically like the WW Cookie Dough Sundae if you have seen that one....but mint with a chocolate cookie on the bottom. I was totally eyeing it and had even convinced myself I was going to get one on my way out of the store (so as it would not melt as I did the rest of my shopping). It was only 150 cals (3 pts for you WW folks) so it falls in line with my "snack" item for the day.
You might be hearing a "BUT" coming. And you would be right. You might be thinking my motivation was on rampage and told me - NO, don't get it, you might be tempted to eat the whole package instead of one serving at a time (I have been known to do this around ice cream in the past).
In this case, you would be incorrect. What actually happened is when I strolled past on my way out, someone had bought ALL of them (and all of the Cookie Dough sundaes as well, I might add). I just couldn't believe it! There had to have been at least 10-15 packages when I walked by and not 1/2 an hour later they were GONE.
Well, I find this quite humorous now, but the time, I wasn't a happy camper. However, I went home and I had a snack of yummy cold watermelon instead. Both equally satisfying for a hot day and the watermelon far more healthy. Anyway, I think maybe the weight-loss gods were on my back yesterday, since that was probably the best outcome anyway. Good luck to the person who bought out Walmart's supply of Smart Ones frozen novelties!
Oh another funny thing on the topic of Smart Ones desserts... last week I had the Key Lime Pie one night and didn't enjoy it as much as the first time I had it. Today I had the Yoplait Light Key Lime Pie yogurt and I actually thought it was better tasting than the actual (smart ones) dessert. At half the calories and no fat, that's hard to beat. The yogurt was just slightly better because it had no strange aftertaste to me - and it would be the bomb with one square of graham cracker (ok, and maybe a dollop of cool whip free too)... but I didn't do it even though we have grahams in the snack area at work. Why, you ask?
Because I'm serious. I'm sticking to a plan that I know works [for me]. This way, even if I don't lose weight next week, I will be able to say that it's not because of the things that I (over)ate.
well, the wi was not pretty (as expected). however, i was shocked at how bad it was. i mean, either i seriously retained a ton of sodium (i did eat chicken that was cooked in campbell's condensed soup yesterday) or was really dehydrated or i have been eating a lot worse than i think i have been.
anyway, i think serious changes need to be made. obvs., what i have been doing for the last two months have not been working. i'm putting myself back into no-exception mode. that is, i will be eating my yogurt/bar diligently each day and eating meals at regular times. i'm going to also just NOT allow myself to have more than one snack per night. and if i go out to eat, i will have a plan before i go. these are the things that worked in the past. i'm sad to say i have to go back to being totally anal re: the diet, but weight loss is tough and something is not working right now.
i hate the scale. i got on in this morning and it is up 0.6 from where i was last week. that means my weigh in is going to be in the red again most likely. i feel so lost. i need to get it together. i guess i'll know one way or another in a few hours, but this makes me feel so unhappy. :(
i ate too much this weekend. i did go to the gym, both days. it's been a problem with overeating after dinner both nights. of course, this is not a new thing for me. saturday was worse - today wasn't awful except it wasn't perfect either... but saturday i'm not quite sure what got into me.
as for the date, that went pretty well. i'm still not sure in that i'm def not in a head over heels situation, but he's a really nice, caring, thoughtful cool guy .
not sure how WI will go tomorrow since i fudged it up a bit this weekend... but will keep you posted.
back from the gym (5K run today) and I am proud to say that I have now gone to the gym 6 out of the last 7 days. I don't do long workouts, but I have been sweating quite a bit. Last night's party was pretty fun - we ended up playing super scrabble into the late hours of the night =) and I did stick to my one glass of sangria and three small veggie-potato sandwich thingees. Then I came home and had a 100-cal cup of breyers, a piece of chocolate chip cookie dough, and a pretty big slice of angel food cake. and i did stop there, although i started eyeing other food in my fridge before i called it a night.
wasn't hungry this morning - a bad sign, but i don't think i did *that* badly. had a normal breakfast, and now it's lunch time but i'm not super hungry yet so waiting a bit to eat. plus my friend is coming over to help me fix my swamp cooler (for those who don't know, it's a mechanism for cooling - an energy efficient alternative to refrigerated air). it'll be nice to have that working - i had a leaky tube!
then i might go see the new pirates of the caribbean movie later with the same guy i saw last weds...
Tonight is the Sangria and Tapas party and I still haven't decided on a plan. I've been doing well all week and definitely do not want to end on a sour note before weigh in (Mon). 1/2 of me wants to just eat my normal dinner and not eat ANYTHING there (it's easier that way), but 1/2 of me wants to be able to partake in the food there and not feel deprived. However, I know from past experience if I go anywhere hungry it can really backfire.
Any ideas? As of now, I'm thinking to have a light snack before I go. I already had some fruit, and was debating on having a yogurt as well. I think I will go take a shower and if I feel any hunger at all before I leave I'll go ahead and have the yogurt. Oh yeah, and it was time for a blog redesign=) Wish me luck tonight - I will at most be having 1 glass of sangria and will be saving my snack for when I get home!
ended up going out - but i said i didn't want to do dinner, so i had my dinner at home and then ... yes, we went out for ice cream :P however, i only had one serving, and it was ben n jerry's low-fat frozen yogurt (chocolate fudge brownie), so that is just fine!
gotta get to sleep, more later =)
[update: date was actually pretty fun; we went to old town, for those who know Abq, and sat around and watched some live music and then we went for ice cream. no sparks yet but really cool guy, so hoping that might come with time... tonight (thurs) - did buy the 100-cal breyers single serving cups and only had ONE, but did also have 2 medium sized cookies...hm. still overall pleased with the days' eating.]
got myself a dvd last night from the redbox rentals - casino royale, and though I didn't get all the way through it (got sleepy), I did manage to stay on track with the eating yesterday. just got back from the gym - really had to drag myself out of bed this morning though - and finished eating... was quite hungry this morning before eating (a good feeling) and still a little hungry now, but done with breakfast for the day and will have my yogurt in a few hours if the hunger hasn't gone (which i'm sure it will... just gotta give it some time to get the full signals right?)
hope you all have a nice tuesday=)
[update- finishing the evening out strong - just about ready to head to sleep. had the lean cuisine teriyaki steak tonight and thought it was pretty good! also had the smart ones key lime pie and not as good as i remembered (it came in a box of 2; the first one i had was months ago). some of their other desserts are better... but not buying ice cream for now! take care and see you guys soon...]
let's get the bad stuff out of the way first. my weigh in was not good, in fact, it was much worse than i expected. i was up another pound. however. this is a wakeup call. i know i've been eating a lot of crap lately and it's got to stop, first of all because my stomach now rebels when i eat too much. hello, listen to your body! secondly, i refuse to go back to where i was before. i'm still 10 lbs from where i started and i refuse to give up more ground.
so. here are the steps i'm taking. -i am journaling all of my food again. -i am going to every weigh in for as long as i'm in town. -i bought food ($50 of food today) and i will be using this as a crutch, not because it's all that much different than a lean cuisine or a lean pocket or other frozen meal, but because i know myself and to me it makes psychological sense. if i'm blowing hard-earned dough on a special prepackaged meal (that's twice as much as a lean pocket), it will cause me to stick to it more. -oh- and no more ice cream (unless i *really* want it, in which case at that time i will enact the only-buy-single-servings rule). i know i can't give up ice cream entirely forever, but i will for a little while until i feel more confident again.
today has been good so far. i just need to keep the ball rolling. here are some sub-goals, since i know evening eating has been my downfall lately: -no eating multiple snacks per night. -try to save the snack for at least 1 hour after having eaten dinner. -eat dinner slowly - and to this end, try not to allow myself to get too hungry before i eat dinner.
how i see the week shaping up: there shouldn't be any major hangups this week. i am in town all week. the only things on the agenda are a sangria/tapas party on saturday night and a games party sunday day. there is a potential date some other day of the week but it's not planned yet - any ideas for NON-food related dates? i'll see how i feel as the week progresses, but my plans as of now are to eat my normal dinner before the sangria/tapas party and then only eat veggies and fruit there and same with sunday - eat my normal food at home or bring it with me to the games party if it falls during lunch.
i feel good that i have a plan in place. i just need to keep focusing on doing this slowly, one day and one meal at a time! and i need to stop thinking about food all the time when I'm not even hungry :P
