My weightloss journey

Heading to a healthier me!

My Profile

  • Name: Nomes
  • City: Perth
  • Region: Tasmania
  • Country: Australia

My Weight Loss

Height: 172.0cm
Start weight: 173.50kg
Current weight: 118.20kg
Goal weight: 80.00kg
Lost to date: 55.30kg
Remaining: 38.20kg

My Calendar

7
February '12
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My Photos

Before After

Too long between entries

I've been on a rough road and not written for way too long.

Clomid wasn't for me - at that stage anyway, for someone that's never been regular with my cycle, it just boosted way too many hormones in me that ended up with me being on an emotional roller coaster.

So we battled through for a couple of months and I couldn't tolerate myself anymore so we stopped, I changed jobs, we just tried ourselves now my period was settled since losing so much weight. I then changed to a new job working where my husband was, but after being there 6 weeks I started feeling weird, tired, crampy, sore breasts = positive pregnancy test (by this stage we'd given up) but it was short lived and I miscarried at 5w 3d... Been a long journey since, we discovered a fertility clinic that focuses on not my weight but finding the source of my problems - we started mid April, we chart mucus and they have discovered I lack progesterone. I've since fallen pregnant again and lost it at an even earlier stage before it could even imbed in my uterus ... However I go to a gyno this week who is going to check my fallopian tubes and uterus to see if there is any problems.
 
This week we started (we as in hubby and I) on the bodytrim diet, and WOW, what a kick off. We started Sunday and I had actually pout on a little weight from my last weight in, but I've lost 5.3kg this week and weigh in day is not even until tomorrow.
So there is my journey to date, mainly focused on TTC - which other than being a general fat ass who needs to lose weight, was meant to be my main motivation for weight loss but I seemed to have lost that, but now am getting back on track.
My initial goal was to get into the teens ... and I am now there, but next is 110kg, the weight that IVF will accept to take us on at, so 8.5kg isn't impossible, I AM going to get there.
I am going to be a MUM .... I am doing this for my future babies.

Maybe baby

Wohooo ... I found a doctor who sees me as a baby making machine not 'too fat'. So relieved, I have the prescription for clomid in my hot little hands and will get it filled today so I can start it in a week.
 
He does seem to think with my weightloss I might not even need it if I get a period on Saturday as it is scheduled to be, as that will prove my body is starting to work. So here is hoping ... send me luck girlies ... I need it!!!
 
The advantage of it all is "lots of sexy times with hubby" lol

Too fat for babies

I went to a gynacologist yesterday!!
 
hmmmph
 
I don't ovulate, so my GP referred me to a gyno, off I went with the plan of getting clomid to give the ovaries a chance to release eggs in the right direction.
 
All I came out with were tears.
 
Needless to say his bedside manner was a bit 'abrupt'
 
It was partly what I expected "weight, weight, weight" but to be told it's just NOT going to happen, you won't fall pregnant until you get the weight off and are under 100kg, was hard. As I said - I expected similar result, but I did expect a bit more compassion from a gyno who is specialising in infertility and works directly with a fertility clinic.
 
Clomid wasn't even discussed, it was just "come back and see me when you're periods are regular and your under 100kg's. So around 12 months time.
 
I wanted to just lean over and punch the fucker, his mannerism was terrible. He made me feel inadequate as not only a woman but a wife. If anyone is going to be making me feel inadequate as a wife - shouldn't it be my own husband - who in turn wouldn't treat me like that.
 
He looked at me as if I was something he stepped in from the moment I walked in the door. Just looked me up and down with this look on his face like he had motion sickness. I was so self conscious, it was like being dragged into the headmasters office.
 
I always cry when frustrated so true to form I burst into tears.
 
He asked me how much I weighed prior to lap band surgery then when I told him he said "you weighed WHAT?" so I repeated it and he let out this sigh with a slight "Whoah" and head shake.
 
So this afternoon I am going to see a GP wh my cousin's wife went to and got prescribed clomid, after a few tests (which we did last week) he prescribed it to her withoput giving her the 'fat rundown'. I rang them yesterday arvo and the receptionist gave me an appointment and then asked if I had been there before, when I said NO, she said "Oh, well Dr isn't taking new patients" so I asked when he would be and if I can go on a waiting list. She asked if I had a referral and when I said "only from a rellie" she asked for my rellie's name (assume she thought I was bullshitting) and so I gave it and she said "Fine, I'll let you have the appointment" so ... yay - take 2 today.

We've decided if today is a NO as well, then we're leaving it, I'll continue to lose weight, but we won't do any fertility treatment, we will leave it to mother nature, if it was meant to happen, it will. If I was a blubbering mess yesterday ... imagine me through fertility treatment, IVF or anything like that!!! No way Jose!! So if babies don't come in the next few years, we'll hit the road and travel the world instead.
 
I am sad, I am depressed about it all, I am slightly envious of my sister and sister-in-law that fell pregnant on cue when they started trying, I am upset with the big man upstairs who always throws me challenges and nothing is ever easy - I fight for everything. I am purely just frustrated, angry and OVER it!!! I don't have the 'fight' in me for IVF etc.
 
I really should sign off now, I'm getting upset again ... tears are welling and I don't need to be crying here at work!!

Hurdle leaped *edit with pic*

I've had a hurdle for a couple of weeks where I just couldn't make it to 35kg loss mark ... it's been insane and I've been relatively well behaved.
I went for my fill yesterday and the surgeon didn't put anything in as he was happy with my progress and said if he did put fluid in, it would be overfill and not good for me, so he wants me to wait it out another 4 weeks, which is fine with me. I'll just be strong and good and start adding more exercise to my very limited exercise regime.
However, I got on the scales this morening - and wohoooo ... I've leaped the 35kg loss mark ..... finally. Gives me a smile and motivation to reach my next 5kg goal of 40kg down. 47 kg will be my half way mark!!! So only 12kg off that!!
Getting excited, can't wait to be half way there, currently only just over a third of the way!!! LOL. But I am so proud of myself.
 
I went home to visit Mum and Dad in the country on the weekend and my best mate who I haven't seen for a couple of months commented just how much I am fading away - lol, exaggeration on his behalf but compared to what I was, then I am.
 
Even a friend of my sister in laws commented to my Mum that she didn't comment on my weight loss to me directly as she wasn't sure if it was me who had lost a stack of weight or my next younger sister who had put some on, so she thought she'd check with Mum first and then pass on a congrats for my weightloss because I look fantastic.
 
Oh, and remember my pandora charm - every 5kg I put a new charm, this morning marked a new charm!! Yay!!! That is 7 I now have on it.
 
Edit with pic

Baby making plans

So as of the 2nd August we started the baby making process ... all precautions thrown to the wind and at it like rabbits - ok, not like rabbits but carefree ... lol.
 
Other than the fact I wanted to get healthy and feel better about myself, a big motivator for me with weightloss is to be able to fall pregnant. At 173.5kg that was not going to happen. Sure - I'm now 34.4kg lighter and of course people bigger than me have babies, but I have PCOS and my ovaries just don't play the game. I very very rarely ovulate. Meaning I very very rarely also have a period (not that I mind that, but at least with a period I have some normality)
 
On Monday we went to the GP to enquire about Clomid to help me ovulate, but unfortunately here - only a gynocologist can prescribe and manage fertility treatment as such. SO she gave me a couple of referrals, sent me for blood tests, I have an ultrasound on Tuesday of my ovaries, hubby has to provide a semen sample and then we go back for the results and a pap smear.
 
I've tried calling both gyno's - one doesn't take new patients until the new year and the other's office is closed until the 31st August. So I've set myself a reminder to cal first thing on the 31st or I'll have to get more referrals to try others.
 
I feel very grown up - I still think they'll tell me I'll need to lose a hell of alot more weight - like the same again, but at least we are taking active steps to fulfil our dream of parenthood!!

BMI

I guess it's not something I really look at but my BMI is dropping dramatically. When I started my new year new me ... it was at 59 *gasp* morbidly obese, I am still in the morbidly obese, but it's down to 47.
 
Wohoooo!!!!!

Under 140's

OMG OMG OMG - I've reached a HUGE step for me, I am under 140kg .... so excited - sad I know, but wohoooo!!!!
 
900gm more and I add another charm to my pandora - every 5kg remember!!
 
I love incentives!!

31 visuals

I have created myself a list of things I want out of my weightloss. A visual reminder - pics I've put together and printed out and carry in my wallet.
 
Time to share the things that I am aiming for.
 
  • Being able to fall pregnant and have a baby, start a family.
  • Being able to go jogging - something I haven't done since school - but even struggled then
  • Buying nice dresses in my favourite styles rather than tent like ones
  • Buying clothes straight off the rack
  • Not worry about breaking restaurant chairs - I actually currently won't go to restaurants that look like they have flimsy chairs - I will google intended restaurants and then decide if I will go. I've never ever broken one yet - but geez ... I'm careful about giving myself the chance to not break one
  • Fitting comfortably into an airplane seat and not need an extension belt
  • Putting the tray down in an airplane seat
  • fitting comfortably into theatre seats
  • enjoy watersports without feeling like a whale
  • being comfortable in my bathing suit
  • going on a rollercoaster instead of avoiding them incase I can't fit
  • go on a cruise and troical holiday without feeling self conscious and 'looked at'
  • learn to do Yoga and join a gym
  • go back to ballroom dancing
  • grow old with my husband
  • live, love and enjoy life to it's fullest!!!

Fill day

Today is fill day!! I get another .5mls put in my band this afternoon. The doctor wanted me to have reached 30kg loss by this fill, on my scales it's 31.8 - and his is usually .5 - 1kg less than mine, so we'll see what the result is this arvo. Either way - I've still lost, and going down.
 
I ate so much yesterday so that might hinder me quite a bit and cause a fluctuation, but so be it - I have those days. Maybe I knew I'd struggle to eat anything in the next 2 days because of the fill ... lol!!!!! Any excuse hey!!!
 
report back in a couple of days after fill!!! xxx

Non-stretch

I brought a new top last night - I brought the biggest size available, and it fits - whoah you say - the exciting bit about it is - it's not a stretch top .... wohooooooo!
 
Usually I have to buy the stretchiest material in the biggest size, this is nice ... i feel good
 
Why did I let myself get into this situation!!

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