I think it's helping

For whatever whacky reason I was down to 243 on Friday.  After eating more than I had last week, and not making most of my workouts for the week. GO FIGURE.

On Metformin again

Thank goodness too... blood sugars were getting SCary!

UGH - WTH??

Don't ask me what's going on... could I STILL be putting on muscle? (and storing water and glycogen).... I know my measurements have gone down in the last few weeks, but it's discouraging not to see the scale start to edge downward with it.

I hope the tide turns soon :(

I must have been deaf *cough*

Cause I managed to ignore the screaming sirens (let alone face the music).

Well for the last 4 weeks I've been working out consistently. At least 5 days a week.  Missing that saturday workout seems to have become a habit though urgh.

I've been afraid to post... not wanting to make another "I'm gonna DO IT post and then pfsszzzzt - fizzleing out. *cough* like I did back in January *cough* *cough*

Anyhow - I'm doing another Body-For-Life challenge.  It's tough, and I'm still not on top of my eating, but I AM doing the workouts and it's making me feel SO MUCH BETTER about myself.  Emotionally, mentally, physically - all tied together.

I miss doing yoga though... man do I miss it. I've tried to get to a few classes but have only successfully made it to ONE at the gym.  Hopefully I can get in to more.  IT's pretty sad how much strength and flexibility I've lost... but I guess I know if I keep up with it I"ll get it back.

Sooo - I guess rock bottom was beating my absolute top weight (how humiliating especially since not two years ago I declared I would NEVER be here again *wimper*).  Why did I wait so long to get off my duff and DO something?

Zach still isn't sleeping, I'm still sleep deprived. I'm sure my cortisol levels are through the rough from stress and not sleeping... but man I had to do something. I wish I'd reached this point earlier (oh say at 225 lbs instead of 251 lbs) but at least I reached it.

I've gone from a size 22 to size 14 (and then back up to 16/18 after giving birth, and now back to a squeezing my fat ass in to a size 20 and refusing to by 22's).  I can do it again - only this time I want a one way ticket please!

faced the music

snapped some pics to help track my progression... yeah not fun, but it's done at least.

Pictures

I know I should take some - to document where I am right now... but oh the horror. I really don't want to face it. I really don't. I'm in denial!

The funny thing is - this new house we moved in to -  There is only one bathroom... and the toilet sits across from the bathtub and the previous tennant (owner?) tiled the back of the tub area with those retched mirror tiles.  So you walk into the bathroom drop your knickers and - OMG there you are full frontal fatness. It's horrifying to say the least!!!

AT the very least though - it's a good motivator. I have to face myself every frigging morning and every time I stand up in front of the bathtub.  *shudder*

We're only renting this place as we look for a house to buy in the spring ... but I wonder if I should install mirrored tiles in our new house? (I'm kidding!!)

Well I won't say that I'm off to a roaring start

BUT it IS a start.  I'm down to 242.5 so that's an improovement. There is a LOT more that I could be doing but I know from past experience it's better just to take things slow, make one or two changes at a time, get those down pat, and then move on to the next ones.

It doesn't matter that I've done this all before... I can't just start back where I left off. My body doesn't remember that 3 years ago I could run a 5K... of course that was some 35 lbs ago too :(

Ahh well - slow and steady is what I need to do... one foot in front of the other. I've done this before, I CAN Do it again, it might be harder this time with a toddler in tow... but it IS possible to do.

*sigh* 245.5 - please tell me this is rock bottom

I don't want to gain any more :(

more measurements added

boy that was tedius. At least it is done now.

Anyone else hate the food log?

I swear - I'm trying to enter whole wheat toast, coffee, and scrambled eggs.

A search of coffee brings up just about everything BUT just a plain cup of coffee.

Same with Eggs - all kinds of fast food crap. No entry just for eggs. And can I find it in the category view? No way.

WHERE THE HELL ARE THE EGGS?!?

I can't even add them as favorites because I can't find them to begin with.  I did find coffee at one point in the category view on June 1st, I've copied it for now, but it sure would be nice to just click on it and add it as a favorite food. Especially since the search function works as well as building a snow fort in June!