As of Monday July 9th, 2007 all the restrictions were lifted and I could once again resume dieting and exercising like a normal person. I was so stoked to be down a total of 15 lbs just after surgery but, I was only eating Jell-O and applesauce so ... of course I was down an extra 5 lbs. But now, I'm back up where I was plus 2 lbs. But, I went to Tahoe with friends, and went out to dinner and enjoyed myself while I could. Now, it's back on the ride again. No more eating badly, no more skipping the gym. The doc gave me the all clear to go, so I am going. I went last night, it felt FANTASTIC. I felt so good. My heart rate was good too. I was surprised. I thought for sure I would be out of shape again but my body held in there. 4 weeks of no working out ... nice job body!!! I cannot wait to get back in the routine, I cannot wait to feel better about myself. I was very motivated before and I plan on continuing in that motivation. Well, I'm back! I'll be blogging here and tracking my weight daily so I can see what kind of progress I am making. I am very excited to be back!!!!!
Hello Again! Surgery went very well. They almost had to cut my side open to take out my gall bladder because it was so inflamed and infected and the stones inside were the size of 50 cent pieces. Oh my goodness! I spent the night in the hospital and the last few nights at my stepmoms being cared for. I really took for granted the ability to just get up and go down the hall to the bathroom whenever I felt like it. I hated being so restricted but hey, it could have been tons worse. It's really proven how motivated I am to lose the weight. I feel good and cannot wait to get back to my routine. I cannot wait to go back on the diet and get back to the gym. I have only lost a pound so far but the doc says the weight should come off easier now that my body will be able to function better without that nasty gallbladder inside it. We'll see. Still not really eating through the whole day like I'm supposed to. I will get it going, I will. It's just hard and scary right now because I don't want to harm myself and my body is still adjusting. Here's to a healthier me!
It's been a bit since I blogged and I apologize. I've hit a major bump in the road to the old me. I have gallstones and have to have my gall bladder removed Tuesday morning. I am not allowed to eat anything with any fat in it. Which sounds great but I fear the lack of eating I'm allowed to do will have negative effects on my weight loss. Like, I'm barely allowed to nibble, I cannot eat until my tummy feels satisfied because then it will make my gallbladder contract. I starved myself back in the day, destroying my metabolism and making me gain 120 lbs. I don't want to hurt my metabolism anymore. I don't want to do any damage like that. I'm making another big bowl of jell-o. I'm out of the one I already had. I'm only allowed Jell-O folks, Jell-o, clear broth and clear fluids. Kill me now.
Mmm, last night at work there was fresh Monkey Bread. It smelled of cinnamon and butter and was there in all it's crumbly goodness staring at me while I worked our main radio channel. Every time someone would come get a piece, the aroma would be released again and fill my senses. It called to me ... people in the room tempted me with it, offering to cut me a piece every time they got one. But I just couldn't do it ... I think when I went out to a restaurant the other day, and ordered what I thought would be a safe choice, and gained two pounds, it was the exact motivation I needed to stick with this diet this time. There is still part of me somewhere inside that thinks I am who I was 9 years ago. I still see myself as this athletically toned girl who could eat whatever she wanted. I forgot the girl who started to starve herself, and destroyed her metabolism so that when I changed my ways, I gained back eveything and then some. I forget that I can't eat whatever I want, I have to be careful. But, those two pounds jumping back on out of nowhere showed me that I have to stick to this, I have to be dedicated to my health and my weight loss. It will benefit me in the end in a variety of ways, so why not?! I hit the gym last night after finally getting rid of the nasty headache. 30 mins on the elliptical which kicked my ass because I usually am 30 mins on the treadmill. I don't know which is better for me, I just decided to mix it up so it doesn't get boring. I won't be there tonight unfortunately, have a long shift and have to be up early, and I do know that one of the helpful ways to lose weight is a good nights sleep. I can't miss sleep to hit the gym, that wouldn't be productive. I heard that from a doctor too, so I believe him over the people who say I should just go anyway. So I'm excited. Down another 3 lbs. I am fully motivated to stick with it. Even if the number creeps up a little or doesn't move, it takes hard work and dedication and the numbers will get smaller. Well, everyone, I'm off to work now. And ... I might hear tonight who got that shift, me or someone else. God, do you know how badly my fingers are crossed that it is me?! Keep them crossed for me!!! Have a wonderful day!
I'm mad at my body, not for gaining weight ... oh no because I lost a pound again. But, I am mad at my body for keeping me with this nasty headache. It got so bad last night that I skipped the gym and went home to bed because no pill would make this thing go away and I didn't want to be stomping around on a treadmill. I know I probably should have gone anyway. I'm still going tonight and tomorrow night. I am feeling bad about last night but my headache is finally a little better today. That makes me very happy. I can start to function as a normal person again. I would love to blog lots, as I have lots to say but some of you may not be believers in what I heard last night. In any case, it was what I needed to hear and I am happy with it. So unbelievably happy. So I am going to finish getting ready for work, pack my lunch and relax before I head out for the night. Hope everyone is having a great day!
Ah yes, I am holding myself accountable for the two extra pounds that have found their way back to my body. I was out running errands and ignored that little voice in my head that said go home and eat there. I went with the ex to dinner, and ordered a salad but, I knew ... I just knew the second that salad passed through my lips that I was going to gain weight. I went to the gym with the ex and he wussed out early so I didn't get my tummy crunchers in. Grrr, well, that makes me mad. Tonight I am going to have to push myself even harder. I can't be mad that I gained the 2 lbs. I mean, I can. But, only at myself. I knew better than to do that. I did. I knew better. But, I went anyway. That won't happen again. I'm getting ready to take the dog to the vet, then I have this thing with a friend tonight (no food involved) then it's off to work and the gym and sleeps!! I've had a nagging headache for 3 days now that won't go away. I cut back my soda intake but it's not one of those caffeine headaches. It's just this nasty nagging one. So much so that I couldn't get out of bed yesterday or today because it felt better to be laying down. I'm going to get through this. Hope everyone is having a lovely day!
Sorry for the artsy fartsy title, I am just trying to keep my hopes level. I don't want to get my hopes all sky high to just come crashing down. I'm restraining my hopes on a couple things. First is that the weight keeps coming down. Two more pounds. I'm down 7 total now. This definitely keeps me motivated on the diet and when I get too tired and don't want to go to the gym, I go anyway because I look forward to seeing that number drop every morning. But, I know that it's not always going to go down. It could stay the same, it could go up a little. I can't get discouraged, I just have to keep truckin'. The other thing is, we are doing shift bid at work and I have my eye on a schedule that could completely change my life. I'm single now, separated from my husband and even he made comments that with the days that I work, I'll never date and meet anyone new. He was sort of right. The only chance I would have is to meet someone who does shift work, and what are the chances of that?! So, this new schedule is my same hours but with Thurs, Fri, and Sat off. If I could just get my hands on that I would be in heaven!!!!! However, I doubt it will get to me. I know the girl above me in seniority might have her eye on it. I am hoping she doesn't ... but, who wouldn't want weekends off!!!!! So I don't want to get my hopes up especially on that because I know they will come crashing to the ground. But I am still holding out hope that I could get lucky. I doubt it, but it could happen. So, that's about it from me. Keeping up with the diet, was at the gym for almost two hours last night. I love it. Hope everyone is having a great day!
Today is my day off, thank goodness. I am wiped! Physically and emotionally wiped. I don't know what happened but I lost it last night and couldn't stop crying. Everything I've kept behind walls crashed around me and I am so embarrassed now. I don't like to show emotion, I like everyone to think I'm doing just fine, so it was horribly embarrassing for me. Horribly!!!! So today is my day off. I'm going to relax, do laundry, go to the grocery store, regroup, hit the gym ... etc. I am going to reclaim me. Yes, I have a lot of stuff I probably should be talking to someone about but, that's not the kind of person I am. I like to deal with it on my own. Anyway, I'm embarrassed. But, on a good note, I'm down another 1.5 lbs. Yay! I know this will keep me motivated because when I go to the gym, I feel better emotionally. I genuinely feel better. I hope to keep it up. Hope everyone is having a lovely day!
Hello Everyone! Happy Monday! Mondays are usually the first day of my weekend but I am working a graveyard shift of overtime tonight so the weekend hasn't quite started yet. That will be tomorrow. It's a busy one too, lots of chores to catch up on, and lots of exercise to be doing. Today was my weigh-in day. When I was going to Weight Watchers meetings, I was going on Mondays so I have always kept my weigh-ins for that day. Sometimes I do more than that, like jumping on the scale the next morning after I've splurged on what I ate to make sure I didn't tack on 10 lbs the night before. Anyway, I'm excited because even after very loosely keeping an eye on what I ate last night, I am down 3 lbs this week. I am so happy right now. This gives me some much needed motivation to stick with it and keep truckin. I'm back on the strict dieting today and will continue to do so. I don't see any reason to be off the wagon at all this week and that's a good thing. I am going to stick it through. Hopefully I can keep coming with some positive news. I have received some lovely notes of encouragement and that makes me very happy. Support is major when doing something like this. I work with a ton of skinny people who just don't get what it's like, they've never gained as much weight as I have. I was once a very skinny athletic person, I know what it's like to be thin, and I know how it feels, health wise. You feel better. I think that is most important. Being Healthy. Here's to a good week! I hope everyone is having a lovely Monday!!!
Day Two of keeping track of my diet on this here thingie. Today is not so good on the diet scale. I am very very very very loosely following it. Portions are my main focus since I'm not following the strict rules.
We all paid for dinner tonight already so I am going to enjoy my food but I am still chugging tons and tons of water. I was just informed that my Fat Free Pringles have that Olestra in them ... EEK!! I've stopped eating them. You know what Olestra does, don't you???
So that's today. No Gym because I'm working late, but it's OK. I have these three days off and I'm hitting the gym 4 days if not 5 next week.
