12/03/2007 08:26
Week 4 Day7: Pretty damn good!
I got on the scale this morning and behold was the 220s! I wasn't planning on writing this morning, but after staring at the number for like 10 minutes without even thinking about it, I realized that I needed an outlet before I started getting ready for my day... 229.8! Wow. Just wow. Every time I look at that number I'm totally mystified. I should get ready for work but... there's that 220s number again... thats ME. I, MYSELF did that. 229.8
Pretty damn good if you ask me! :-)
12/02/2007 13:06
Happy suit and pic day!
I got some interviews for work, but the suit that I have is still too small... and the good pants I have are so baggy that Christine at work exclaimed that she thought they were gonna fall off of me. I want to look sharp for my interviews, and when I told my mother she was nice enough to take me shopping for a new suit! I'm so grateful because money is really tight right now, especially because my last day of work is this week and I still don't have a new job.
So, I found a great fitting suit at Lane Bryant. I went down 2 top sizes and 1 pant size! I was so happy!
One of the interviews I have is with a Interior Designer who works in a home office and is in need of an assistant. We are meeting on Wednesday evening at a local Starbucks. I was worried about her being able to recognize me and vice versa, so I put on my new suit and took a picture to send her. I posted it on here since it turned out so well, and I really think my face is slimming out! :-)
In other news... I realized on Friday afternoon that I didn't have enough product to last me the entire weekend! I was short 6 shakes! Thats over a days worth! There was this big hoopladedoo... whatever... so the nutritionist had to call me from home and told me I could drink the Slimfast High Protien shakes instead and eat 2 hard-boiled egg whites. I was craving eggs anyways, so I was pretty happy with that. But now I'm worried that the extra calories will do me in! I am trying to be more active, but it is harder because it's snowing and I don't have time to go to the gym with all these papers to write. I might jog in place for a little bit as a break from paper writing. Well, anyways, wish me luck... tomorrow is official weigh in!
11/28/2007 09:01
Week 4 Day 2
Well, it's happened! The scale nudged!
Beth: 2 Scale: 1
Ha ha Mr. Scale! I defeat you from plateau AGAIN with my sidekick Water Bottle! I will not stop... not for TOM, not for stress, not for yummy-looking food commercials... and peace will be restored at last!
Until we meet again tomorrow morning...
Bethy
11/27/2007 11:02
Last night... not fun.
Official weigh-in at Jefferson says I'm down 2.2 pounds this week. I'm trying NOT to compare to the other two girls on week 4, who lost 6 each. It's tough. The meeting went okay. I didn't talk to the behaviorist about anything. I was feeling kinda embarrassed for some reason. And just plain down in the dumps.
Then, on the way home, I got onto the high speed line only to find out that east of the broadway station was closed! I got off in camden and called my boyfriend, praying to god that he was on campus. He was, and found me roaming about the streets at 9:30 at night carrrying a heavy package of a weeks worth of shakes. Not fun.
EDIT: I think I was getting a bit off topic there, sry bout that! A girl has to rant sometimes, I suppose. Thanks for everyones concern and comments! This site is so supportive, I dunno what I'd do without it! :-)
On a lighter note: I walked into work the other day, and Christina was like, "OMG BETH! You're pants are like falling off of ya!" LOL! I'm like YEA ISNT IT GREAT!? LOL! :-) But, now I don't want to wear these anymore, and I must venture to Ross to find alternatives that fit. :-)
11/26/2007 08:25
Week 4 Goals
Tonight is weigh in at Jefferson Hospital. I am really nervous because I know that my weight loss is starting to slow down, but I've made some goals for this week.
First, I want to continue my goal from last week of drinking 2 glasses of water after each Optifast product, so that I'm getting 10 glasses in a day.
Second, I am going to be more strict about taking my supplements. I'm gonna take my multi vitamin and medications with my 9am shake, and one fiber/energy pill after all shakes. I need to make this a everyday routine.
Third, I'd really love to reach my 10% this week... that's a 3 pound loss. A bit of a stretch, but we'll see.
I was also thinking about trying to add light weights for activity. I've been waiting for my body to get used to this diet, and people say that after the second week you start to feel really energized. Well, I havn't felt that way yet and its week 4. So, I'm gonna stop waiting and start doing. As long as I take it slow, I don't see how it could hurt.
I have a busy, stressful day of classes, essays, work, and dieting ahead of me. Wish me luck!
11/25/2007 08:36
Week 3 Day 6 Venting
2 more dreams about food last night. The first one I used leftover turkey and some mayo to make a sandwich. I ate the whole thing when I realized I wasn't supposed to eat it. This time, though it was too late to spit it out. I actually started crying. I don't remember what happened after that, but I'm pretty sure I was crying a long time, and either no one noticed or they shrugged it off... something like that... which just made it worse.
Another dream is I prepared some kinda wrap in a little tortilla. I kept thinking it wouldn't be that bad because I'm putting things in it that are really low calorie... I think it was peppers, onions, turkey, cucumber, and celery. Something like that... I would never have eaten something like that in real life, btw. I was about to eat it up when someone stopped me and asked what it was. I told them it was just a wrap and it wasn't hardly any calories. But the person said the wrap itself was a lot, and I argued and said it was such a little wrap it didn't make a difference, and it was mostly celery in there anyways, etc etc etc arguing with this person.
I may feel guilty about the other day I put a chopped-up celery stick, a baby carrot, and a little bit of shredded-up turkey in my soup. I kept thinking it couldn't be more than an extra 50 calories, and wasn't a big deal this one time it being the holidays and all. Maybe I felt like I was cheating, but I really don't think I did. I put a little bit of celery in my soup twice before, and I didn't feel guilty. I even have some dill pickles once in a while because they are zero calories for one serving. I don't do it much, but i feel like having what feels like real food in my mouth really helps, and I don't think it hinders my weight loss. It's such a small amount.
Click here to see my rant on the Liquid Diet Discussion Board
Basically, the honeymoon stage is over. Maybe I might have to go on transition early, I have no idea. I don't think I'm getting used to this diet at all. People kept saying it gets better, that you don't get hungry, and they have so much more energy. But I'm not. This is Week 3 Day 6. Almost week 4. And I still feel the same way that I did on Week 1 Day 4. I know I should stay positive but it's just so hard not being able to eat real food. Much harder than I thought it would be.
I'm not sure if thats because I'm like addicted to food or what. I feel like I MISS food. I miss eating different things and making things, etc. I find myself wanting to watch cooking shows, which confuses the heck out of my roommates. I feel so much left out at social ocasions. I mean, I dont need that pie or mac and chesse or whatever... no, I don't. But I wouldn't mind having a salad or some veggies just to feel like I'm actually having something with them. It's okay if I'm at home I'll sit down with a soup or shake but at a resturant or someone's house that I don't know so well...its a little different.
At work, Brenda said that on December 7th all the student workers and graduate assistants in the Graduate Office and CPCE office were being treated out to Adelphias. I said I couldn't go, but Brenda was asking why not, and I told her I was on a diet, and she said there was a salad bar or whatever, and I had to explain to her that I'm on a diet where I have to eat the food they give me, and nothing more. She was like, OH, but you still can come anyway! It wouldn't be any fun without you! I gave in and said okay even though I know that I myself wouldn't have much fun. I would have to explain to everyone there why I wasn't eating and crap and I hate that. I'm getting tired of explaining myself. These are my co-workers, most of which I don't know personally, and I won't ever see them again after this party (because it's my last day). Why should I have to explain myself to them? It's really annoying.
I'm really thinking about going into transition on Week 6. But, I don't want to feel like I'm giving up or taking the easy route. Sigh.
I think this is enough venting, especially when I should be writing papers and job searching. Wish me luck today!
11/23/2007 08:30
What happened Thanksgiving Day
This morning is Week 3 Day 4.
Thanksgiving was good. I followed my plan exactly the way I usually do. I did have some pressure from my mom who kept saying "Beth, I really think you should have a little turkey and broccoli" which was driving me NUTS. I kept saying no, but my mother rarely listens to me. But, thank god, my step dad stepped in (no pun intended) and told my mom to leave me alone. I am so grateful for that.
Everyone ate while I sipped water. I was lucky because I was seated next to an outlet that had some kinda air freshener in it, and that was really the only thing I smelled at dinner! LOL!
After we all said something we are grateful for at dinner, my aunt had a toast for me for sticking to my plans! And everyone said "To Bethy!" And I was really touched, even though I acted like it was no big deal, because I come from a big family and I don't usually get so much attention, and I was a little embarrassed. Hee hee. But, really, I was touched.
I was so tired yesterday, as always, I almost nodded off at dinner. I didn't help cook or clean that morning, so I knew I would have to do the bazillion dishes left from the huge meal, and all by hand because it was our good china. I was soooo tired, and I didn't even eat anything. So, I payed my little sister 10 bucks to do my part! It was GREAT!!! Like, one of the best holidays I've ever had, it was so worth it! I don't remember the last time we had a holiday where I didn't have to go any dishes. And my little sister was happy too, she even scraped out 5 more dollars from my stepbrother to get out of his share. It was great for all parties. LOL!
I have to go to work, but I have more to talk about. I'll update later.
11/22/2007 07:28
More Food Dreams
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Last group meeting we talked about what people were going to do for thanksgiving. Our leader said it was okay to eat off program as long as they had a PLAN. Everyone in the group made a plan except me and one other person, because we decided to stay on program. If I HAD decided to go off program, I probably would have had 3oz of turkey and a half cup of green vegetables. But, some people were like, I'm going to have turkey, and yams, and salad, and veggies, and small slice of pumpkin pie, and one 1inch by 2 inch brownie. For some reason that brownie one stuck in my head. I was like OMG. I know what they were listing was a LOT less than they would normally have on thanksgiving but it made me realize how different my mentality was from them.
With that said, I had another infamous dream last night. Well, I guess it wasn't too bad. I'll spare you all the details because it was long.
In the dream, I was going to my best friends house for a birthday party get-together. As I was going there, I told my ride that I was only going to have a small 1 inch by 2 inch brownie. That was IT. I got there an hour early, but it was okay because I've known this best friend for 15 years now and I was close with their family. When I got there, my friend who dropped me off said "Be sure to enjoy your brownie! You can tell me all about it when I come back!" Or something along those lines. Suddenly, I realized I didn't want a brownie! I wanted to stay on program!!! Yet, I felt an obligation to have the brownie because I not only planned on it, but I told this person I was going to, and people were expecting me to have it. I think I even was the one who brought the brownies to the party, because I was carrying a tray of some sort when I got there.
The dream resembled my meeting last week in two ways. 1.) I got there an hour early 2.) The weird 1inch by 2 inch brownie thing
Also, I told my house mate the other night that I might have like a little scrap of turkey to put in my Optifast soup, but not enough to cause a significant change in caloric intake, so I'd still be pretty much on program. He was the one who dropped me off at the party in my dream and told me to enjoy my brownie.
I think the dream might mean I'm blowing things out of proportion. I'm not sure. I still want to stay on program for as long as I possibly can. I'm totally suffering, I really am, but seeing the scale drop EVERY DAY means too much to me. I am on a roll and I don't want to break it.
11/20/2007 12:20
More detailed update
YUP! I've lost 20.8 pounds since May. Noone has really noticed yet, but my clothes fit a little better, which is nice. At first I thought it was in my head, like psychological. I still kinda feel that way. I feel like I havn't lost anything. It will hit me soon.
I'm trying not to get too discouraged, but the other girls in my group lost so much more weight than I did this week! One of the girls lost 7 and the other 6. Me, 4. I wasn't really exspecting to lose more than 3.5 this week, but I was shocked when they told me their results. They are even lighter than me! Oh well. I don't want to lose too quickly anyways, cuz I don't want saggy skin.
My goal this week is to drink more water. I've been sloppy with that the last few days. I'm aiming for 8-10 glasses of non-caloric, uncaffinated beverages. I figure if I drink 2 glasses after each Optifast product, that will get it all in.
Also, I decided NOT to go off program durring thanksgiving at ALL. I want to be 100% on program. I want to show my family and friends how commited I am, and what my new lifestyle is about. Besides, I'm on a roll, and there is always next year! :-)
Thanks for everyone who visits my blog and leaves me such great imput I really appreciate it! :-)
11/20/2007 09:01
Week 3 Day 1
*Happy Scale Victory Dance* :-D
