The meeting and some deeper stuff too
Ok ok ok... I went to my meeting on Monday. I couldn't believe how COOL weight watchers has gotten since the last time I've been there. Its so official looking! LOL! They have multiple scales all lined up in a row with little cubbies and posters and merchenice. They computers track your weight... LOL! I was impressed because the meetings I went to before were really oldschool.
My leader seemed pretty cool. I liked that she was pretty young, like me. She seemed really knowledgable and she seemed to know what she was talking about. At the end of the meeting I went to her and told her my situation how I did WW in middle school and now I'm back to lose the college weight. She said that I was just like her and the very same thing happened to her. So, that was pretty cool. The only thing I didn't like much about her was that she was very FAKE. Like I felt that she was putting on a performance the whole night. I guess it comes with the job? But the good outweighs the bad, and it's really hard to tell at this point. I don't want to judge too early.
I have been having a hard time sticking to my points. It's not that I feel hungry at all. It's an emotional thing, I think. It's hard going from LD to a food plan because the choices are everywhere! On a LD, if you eat, you messed up. Now, if you eat, you can pretty much fit it into your plan... to a point. It's day two I ate almost all of my flex.
Normally when things get to this point, I go grocery shopping, but I have very LITTLE money right now and the money that I DID have I just put into a savings account to keep me form spending it.
I'm starting to think I'm getting a little depressed. I'm coping the best way I know how. I get up in the morning. Step one. UGH I majorly lep in, missed a class, and got about 11 hours of sleep. But at least I got up at all on a day like this. The weather has been nice. Open a window. I need that light and breeze is healthy. I write down all I need to do that day in order of what to do them in. Including eat breakfast, go to class, check e-mal, etc.
As I go through my day, I need to refer to my list of what to do, otherwise I get DISTRACTED. Like, I will litterally sit there and do NOTHING and then I snap out of it and I'm like WHERE DID MY DAY GO? My housemate said that sounds like Adult ADD (he has it). I wouldn't be surprised because my mom has it real bad. I would like to get tested, but I have no health insurance. This isn't the first time that someone told me that they thought I had ADD, too.
I always thought it was APD (Auditory Processing Disorder) and I also have generalized anxiety disorder. My mom keeps harping me that I should be on medication, but I keep telling myself that I don't need it... I hate taking meds and I can't afford them.
So, I have this St.JohnsWort stuffs that I used to take when I was kid after my dad died. I had some really BAD effects from it... but I shoudlnt' have been taking anti-depressants that YOUNG and I want to go back in time and SLAP the person that told my mom to give it to me (because now I know that giving those to a child or young adult can lead to suicidal thoughts, etc. just makes it worse). So, I'm 23 now, so I'm thinking I should give it another go, and I'll make sure to tell my boyfriend and housemates about it so that if this gets worse, they can tell me and I will get off of it.
That was a long post. I think I really just needed to get that out.