I think summer is here

Can't beleive how lovely the weather has been for the last week fingers crossed it lasts .Well this week i lost 6lbs i'v cut out sugar and processed foods including alchol hopefully this will also help with my mood swings and will help to ease my terrilble pms i turn into the witch women every month .

just need to have a quick tidy then i'm going to tidy the front garden i'm not even looking at the back garden wouldnt know where to start so will leave that to hubby lol.

calm

Theres not really much gong on to write about ,kids are doing my head in or to be presise my teenage daughter is  really pushing her luck to the limits right now think her aim in life is to push me to the limits and then drown me , can't believe i went through all this with my older daughter who is now a lovely young woman and a very proud mum so their is hope out there these teenage monsters do eventually return to being human again lol i just need to keep reminding myself of this lol as i still have it all to come with my younger 2 lol.

I'm still around

cant believe i'v not posted for so long but i'm back now . doing ok still need to inprove my exercise but i'm getting there slowly.

my goals for today: drink 2litres water, do my stairs 10 x 2 ,do some toning.

Well blow me away

Thats what the wind tryed to do this morning on the way to and from school lol.  woke wth a splitting headache and sore neck this morning but i got up and just ignored it and its slowly easing off  went  on tramopline cause if my head does get worse then i wont be a doing anything  didnt stay on as long as i wanted but at least i'v been on it  . Its my attempt to make pea and ham soup today bought the peas and soaked them yesterday the ham  is cooking at the momment smells lovely., not sure what to have with it might look for some nice wholemeal rolls or somthing i can make white bread but my wholemeal bread doesnt turn out to good think bricks and you get the picture lol i just need to keep trying  till i get it right.  

todays goals

1) dont let hubby tempt me to eat/drink lots of nice stuff - stick to planned meals and treats.

2) get moving around the house more a few trips up and down the stairs.

3) think about starting up a hobby again to stop boredom in the evenings.

mess and even more mess

how can 3 kids make so much mess my life is like the film ground hog day every day i seem to be doing the same things picking up the same mess clearing away the same things and thats before you'v even encountered going upstairs its best to just prentend i havent got an upstairs yep its that bad and i'v given up even entering the kids rooms its not safe .

 So back to me walked the kids to school and i really felt it i was so out of breath not good this is the warning i need if i ignore all these little warning signs then i might as well arrange my own funeral now,yes i know it sounds harsh but thats how i need to be with my self i really need to not just think of me but also my kids and hubby. Having fish and rice for tea and having ago at making pea and ham soup for tomorrow .Have a craft afternoon with my daughter making an easter hat so that'll be fun i'm not very good at this kind of thing but i always have a go its fun and my kids love it.

todays goals

1) get on the trampoline

2) drink my water more herbal teas less coffee

3) put some make up on do hair.

goals for today

Ok i'm going to give myself 3 goals everyday.

todays are

1. drink my water

2. no more coffee today drink some herbal/fruit tea instead

3.make a start on the house work then 5 mins on trampoline.

here i am

Not alot has been happening just the same old stuff but thought id better get back to logging in here no piont hiding away is there. I'm so desparatly waiting for totm to happen so i can put the snappy miserable cow that is me away till next month.

  teenagers arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shes not your typical teenager oh no she doesnt act like shes going on tweenty nope shes going into reverse and is acting like shes what 5,3 could even be 2 as its no or dont want to with what ever you say and she has  the feet stamping fist throwing tamtrams that go with being a toddler i think my 7 yr old has swopped places with her as my 7yr thinks shes 16 lol.So just latelty its been stress all round.

 weight loss wise erm really cant seem to get motivatated just cant under stand why though as i desparatly want to lose and hate the way i am very much in the past i mean the very distant past when i lost weight before it was like i was on a mission i mean i even enjoyed it the planning the losing  even exercise i loved but  now just dont seem to be able to get it back its almost as if iv given up i 'v felt this way ever since son was a baby and hes almost 11 nowi just keep hoping that something will spark it back into to life again i mean i get motivated but it never lasts a couple of days or even a week and then thats it its fizzled out again is that the reason why iv just sat here eating a chocolate bar i found in hubbys draw god i need slapping.  I think sometimes i need some one to come up to me and say your following this plan  and your going to do this, this and this get on with it.

keep positive

Feeling pretty good today must be the sunny bright weather suffering the dreaded pmt so to be feeling chirpy right now is unheard of for me although i do have my usual clumsiness and forgetfulness lol iv just given up on the housework for half an hour was having a fight with the hoover and last night i had my pmt related must have food right now episode but i gave myself a limit of cals i could use for it and it seemed to work as it helped with the stuff my face feel guilty eat some more syndrome.

 took my dog for her walk but looks like every other person who owns a dog had the same idea and there were too many dogs without leads and my dog gos a bit mad and pulls to much so i cut the walk short and will try again later . Making meatballs later for tea just need to find a recipe for the sauce as last time the meat balls were lovely but the sauce let them down.

I'v decided that for treats i'm going to give myself a limit of cals as my meals arnt to much of a problem its my snacking which is where my problem lyes  i'm a big emotional eater which is a habit i'm trying to slowly break but it will take time as iv been eating with my emoitions for as long as i can remember, stressed, boredom tiredness and as i said in one of my earlier posts food wont help/cure any of these.

happy mothers day

Got woken up early this morning with a cooked breakfast hovering under my nose and a 15,7 and 10yr making sure i ate it all hubby helped me with it.had no choccies their dad had taken them shopping and had bought me a lovely hamper of bath goodies.Got a brilliant surprise when i came down my dd who has a cleaning/tidying phobia had tidied,cleaned and had even washed a load of washing and had it drying on the line.

 Need to get out of my dressing gown soon got to see my mum got her some lovely roses yesterday actually  found somewhere that had'nt hiked up their prices also havesome lovely flowers for my mils grave have a special card for her grave as well just need to find it.Told my mum i was buying her a bag of apples and a slimming club subscribtion for mothers day as shes always having a dig about my weight she also has a dig at my dad and brother about their weight too but  she s the same height /weight as me lol.

calm

Had a few worries over my ds and my teenage dd but fingers crossed things are now being sorted and everything has settled down for now, so that has made me feel so much better.  until the next crisis comes along .         I'm enjoying my walks with my dog although she does try to pull my arm off a bit if there others around we just need to get used to each other as its usually oh who takes her out i need to show her its me in charge of her not the other way around lol.

 hubby  treated us  all to a take away and i didnt get stressed over it plus i left some on my plate i was full but not stuffed to over flowing if you know what i mean.i can now jump on my trampoline with out it making me want to wee myself lol as i was spending more time running for a wee then i was on my tramopline perhaps its starting to help my weak bladder.

the wind is so strong think its trying to blow the house down plus its raining typical iv been freezing all day and it takes till its almost bed time for me to get warm lol.