I feel so low today and its only 8:55am. Last night, me and Remi had a big argument about the dog. We are meant to be collecting him today at 11:15 am and he decided last night was a good time to tell me he has changed his mind. I'm so angry, I cant explain. I kinda knew this was coming but I just want a dog so badly...I tried to ignore it and hoped that once we had Cortez, he would be so happy that he would just be ok with it. I feel like I am letting so many people down and I feel like I am going to look an idiot now telling all the people that I have gone on to about him, that we arent getting him now.
I just want some company whne Remi is at work but I dont think he realises it. I get so lonely in the house on my own, and I get scared of all the little noises I hear too. I had everything planned for getting the dog, taking him for nice long walks in Summer around lakes and going to North Wales for a break and take him on the nice walk trails there. Going jogging at night time with him adn firt thing in the morning. And in Winter, wrapping up nice and warm and going for long walks and getting hom and being so glad IM back home when the warmth hits my face. And the loyalty a dog provides...THey adore their owners so much. Instead, I have to spend most of my time alone in the house while Remi is at work and then when he gets home, he sleeps (its not his fault, he works shifts) so again, I feel like Im alone.
For the first time in a good couple of weeks, I have had a good day! I ahve actually stuck to what I said I would eat with the exception of a 2 finger kit kat when I got home!
Im so proud of myself. I didnt manage the exercise as my mate coudlnt make it jogging but Im going ot the class tomorrow...even if I ahve to go alone! Im determined now!
I keep thinking how adly I ahve been eating and I ahve managed to stay the same, so if I got back on track...I would be doing really well.
I'm actually feeling very positive about the dieting now...I know I can do it if I stick at it.
Well, I ahve finally managedto presuade my boyfriend that we should get a dog! teeheehee...we went to the RSPCA yesterday and immediately fell in love with a big male german shepherd named Cortez. He's 7 years old and gorgeous...but absoluty massive! We did say we would have a big dog afterall!
So anyway...it should realy help me with weight loss....I will HVAE to walk him daily for an hour at least so I will be getting a bit more exercise...plus my classes and if I can bike or walk to work again....then I will be dong fab!
I cant wait until we get him home...tehehe...!
I have had such a bad couple of weeks and I'm really an=ngry becasue I said I was going to get back on track and I have done the complete opposite! SO thi weelk...I am back on soup daily since that seems to work for me...and back to no snakcing. I need as much motivation as I can get!
I think the reason I find it so hard to lose weight is because a small part of me doesn't feel I should lose anything, it kinda feels like I'm ok as I am....albeit I'm not a skinny minny, but I'm not oerweight by much! I think I need to really get my head down with it or I am NEVER going to lose anythign!
I suck! I really do suck. I eat rubbish and then feel bad about it and so I eat some more rubbish!
Well, today is the end of sucky Nat! I'm going to show everyone that I CAN lose wieght and that I do have the willpower to refuse chips. To be honest...I think this week has been bad because last week i tried quite hard and barely lost anyhting and also, it's that munchy time of the month! Lol
Well, we might be getting a dog which will force me to exercise. I can't wait...it will be great to walk it everyday! NO excuses then! Yay. Would be nice to have the company though too. I ahte being alone in the house so having a dog would make me feel a bit safer too.
I ahve written up next weeks plan to for the diet...though i think I am going to have ot change it slightly. I ahve found some lovely looking vegetarian low calorie ready meals in Asda! I think I will have to buy them more often...especially for when Remi is working. I hate trying to work out oirtion sizes for one...I'm just pants at it!
I ahve also brought a hula hoop from eBay in an effort to lose the layer of fat from around my stomach. It looks quite good and fingers crossed it will arrive pretty soon so I can get on with it.
I didt make it jogging last night....the weather was too bad. And I didn't make it ice skating the night before so all in all, this week I ahve done NO exercise at all!
I'm really going to go for it now though...especially now i have found some nice meals. Also, if anyone has any tips on v v v low calories snacks...would love to hear about them...I could do with something to stop me reaching for the choccies...especially at work! Teeheehee....
I feel newly motivated today. I didn't make my legs bums and tums class
last night because I wimped out last minute. I'm tired of being scared
to do things so I'm going to get off my ass and go to some exercise
classes. Next weeks exercise plan is:
Monday =3D Jogging 30 minutes and power walking at work
Tuesday =3D Legs bums and tums and power walking at work
Wednesday =3D power walking at work (I'm going for a curry with work)
Thursday =3D Jogging 30 minutes and power walking at work
Friday =3D Trampoline 1 hour
Saturday =3D Possibly swimming or biking for an hour
Sunday =3D Spinning class
I'm also going to try and bike to work when the weather is nice too! I'm
still brining in my work salads daily and I'm really cutting down on the
snacking. Especially now all the fuddle food has gone. I can't be
tempted anymore.
I worked out the calories for my curry next week too...1200!!! I think
I'm going to leave the Naan and popodums too which will make it 600
calories...much better!
I have been good so far today though...if I can keep on track today, I
should be ok! I need to have some really good days to make up fro the
not so good weeks I have been having!
I've gone and done it again...I ate some cake and then I ate some more!
Although, if I stick to what I have said I will eat today, I should
still be well within what I am allowed to eat.
I'm at work at the moment and am rather fed up. I went out at lunchtime
walking with Emma...that made me feel better and I am meant to be going
to legs bums and tums tonight too but I'm going alone and I get a bit
scared about going for the first time. I think I am just going to have
to get over it though and go. I need the exercise. I'm also still
working on Remi to let me have a dog so I can take it for a walk daily
which will also help me burn some extra calories. If the weather starts
to pick up again, I'm going to start cycling in again. :-)
Right, I guess I better get on with some work now but I will be writing
more later I would imagine!
Friday was the fuddle at work and I really overate! Boo me! Saturday, we ahve to travel like 100 miles to Manchester to fetch a car for my boyfriend....so I was up at the crack of dawn and then when we got back, I went to bed. i think I slept most of the day and when I wasn't sleeping, I was eating...it sucked!
Sunday, again, I ate all day long...I just couldnt stop all day...I didnt ave a proper meal all day! Grrrr....Im so annoyed with myself for doing it! I should have more willpower than that.
Today I have been much better, I have only had 1500 calories which is my max for the day so I ahve not done too badly, and I did some exercise when I got home too! I went on the exercise bike for like 25 minutes and burnt off about 200 calories adn I did a 10 minute warm up from a fitness DVD and then I went and had my lovely stir fry for dinner! was very very nice.
I also had my hair cut today....it feels so good to have it shorter again....t was getting far far too long for my liking.
Anywho, I am back on track today and I will be even further on track tomorrow. I'm meant to be doing an exercise class tomorrow, but it depends if I get time. Also, I am starting power walking in lunhc breaks at work with the girls I work with which should also help knock off a few pounds.
I didn't manage to cycle to work today as the weather was dreadful (snow/sleet all day) so once the weather gets a bit better again, I will start cycling to and from work again.
I'm currently trying to persuade my boyfriend to get a dog with me so I can walk it etc...also, I think it will make me feel a bit better when I am on my won when he works a night shift. He is going to think about it though....will keep you posted!
I cycled to and from work again today! I ahd to elave work a bit early though as it looked like it was about to start raining! lol. Though it didn't till much much later on! I also went jogging and I think I'm getting a bit better at taht too...although my back seemed to hurt while i was doing it...maybe Im not holding myself properly!??
Well, my 2 new shirts fom eBay arrived today...they look great on! I'm really pleased with them.
We are having a fuddle at work tomorrow...Im taking in crisps and cakes (I was going to make a fruit salad but couldn't be bothered in the end) but I'm taking in a salad as usual...I'm not giving into the temptation because I will regret it! Im finshing half day tomorrow too so when I get home, Remi will probably still be asleep in bed from his night shift so I'm going to go out on my bike for an hour or so so I'm still getting my exercise (I cant bike tomorrow because I'm taking in the party food!)
I'm looking forward to my weigh in on Monday...I'm really hoping I have lost...though Im not going to panic if I ahven't, Im just going to carry on and keep going...it will start to come off eventually!
Today hasn't been too bad! I ahve stayed pretty much within my calories intake and I cycled to and from work again which I'm hoping will start to make a big difference soon. Im starting next week doing exercise classes too...Im determined to get slim.
Work was a bit poop today though...made me feel a bit down and when I got home, I went to bed and the evening seemed to fly by...now it's almost time for me to go back to bed adn I ahven't got anything done. I had planned to go on the exercise bike tonight for 30 minutes but I think 11:30pm is a bit late for it to be honest.
I feel really motivated with the exercising...I just hope I keep it up and dont get bored like I normally do! I'm worried about us getting bad weather too because if the weather is bad...I will have to drive into work (can't be bothered to get sorted at work if it's raining etc!). Fingers crossed the weather will stay ok now!
It's my mums birthday today too so I went to hers with Remi to take her prezzies! I think she liked them. Haven't got anything for mothers day yet though. lol.
Right...I'm bored so Im going to go to bed! I would normally write more but since it's late and I'm kinda tired...I'm going to leave it till tomorrow!
I went skating...I didnt really do much and then I came home and ate crap....feel really annoyed with mysefl now...Im going to have to try double hard tomorrow! sux!
Im feeling really tired too and it's only 9pm! I think Im in need of an early night!
I also don't know if I should maybe consider joining a gym or something? I really want to lose this weight but I'm scared that if I don't lose it quickly (or at lest relatively quickly) I will lose intrest and motivation adn stop AGAIN!!
I'm on a major downer tonight...I think it's the lack of proper sleep getting to me! I'm sure I will feel more positive in the morning!
