07/07/2010 10:31
Did better today
I did much better today then yesterday, I tried to eat light things so nothing would sit in my stomach for to long.. so today I ate :
Tomatoe soup
Green Tea
Salad from McDonalds
Sweet tea
Bowl of Rice Crispies
Im not sure how many calories that is but i do know that i feel alot better..I have some pills to do a cleanse but i think with my stomach problems that isnt a good idea..idk I just hope to get out of the 160 by the end of this month ..hopefully .......
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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07/06/2010 10:59
Does this happen to you?UGH so mad at myself
Today was a horrible day its 1:46am here in California so im still considering it monday night haha...but ..omg ... I ate so freaking much I want to explode and die!!
I first had some string cheese and cookie crumbs for breakfast ..then for lunch i had a fresh steamers meal which is that bad for you..but then on my way to school at 5:30pm I was so thirsty I wanted a sweet tea from Mcdonalds...So Im siting there looking at the menu and for some stupid stupid STUPID!!!! reason I orderd a Carmel Frappe AND! a sweet tea...why the hell did I do that?? So i drank half and threw it away.
I drank my tea during class you would think after all that food within a 4 hour period I would have been ok...NOPE at my break I had some Rolos (candy) ...Towards the end of class one of the other teachers offerd us cake she had made..the whole room was quit..so i felt bad and took a slice ate 4 bites..I was so full I wanted to die..then 40 mins later when Im home what do I do...I ate some lasanga!!! omg I really want to just never eat again.... really why do we let food control us, it was like I was a crack addicted standing next crack pipes hahah
I have decided that for the next 2 days I will be trying to drink more and not eat..i know people are gonna tell me its not good but i honsetly need to flush my system and just be empty..all this junk food is in my system and i can feel it..so ya anyone else go through this crap!?
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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07/05/2010 21:22
Been awhile
Its been awhile since I have been on here..So i have been getting sick alot and my weight has been all over the place. I have been varing between 165-168 so 3lbs isnt that big of a deal especialy since it changes everyday depending on if i get sick..I just hope to stop getting sick soon my husband and I really want another baby but I havent been able to get pregnant in the last year ...wish us luck
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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06/08/2010 23:57
Self Sabotage :(
So last night I made some awesome tri-tip and brown rice for dinner. It was so amazing with A1 haha but then for some reason I got a craving for sweet like hard core I wanted chocolate. The craving over powerd me so I went to the store bought chocolate chip cookies and brownie mix ( just so i could lick the bowl ). So after eating about 3 cookies and the bowl I started to feel sick again like I had the night before from the shrimp.
I have a umbilical hernia and I think that is the problem. I was in so much pain I had to wake my husband up just to hold my hand. Luckly I have some left over pain medicene from my tonsils so I finally go to sleep. The pain meds are vicodin which is why I don't want to keep taking them because they make me so sleepy.
Im so mad that I gave into the sweets I feel like my body is punishing me everytime I eat bad. I am just going to eat lite the reast of the week and try to limit myself to one cookie a day ughghghg so mad I even bought them in the first place. F U self sabotage!
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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06/04/2010 09:50
Been maintaning but want to loose damnit!
So I'm still at 168 been maintaning that for a couple of days now. Its not that I am unhappy with that number ( Im actually stoked ) I was stuck at 178 for a year no joke. Then after my daughter turned one I finally stayed at 175 then the last 2 months I was stuck at 173. So to be out of the 170s is so awesome but I just want to get as far away from them as possible now I'm only 8lbs away from my Mini mini goal lol. I still havent been able to eat that much my throat is still healing and burns when I swallow. I think I've only had like 700 calories today because of it and that is because I gave into have some soda for the energy. Been starting to work out though so im super glad it feels so good to sweat. I love to work out and dance its just getting the alone time to do so that is hard..goal for the start of next week is ---------166! gonna do my best
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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05/29/2010 07:31
tonsils are out!! down to 168!!!
got my tonsils out on monday and man oh man do my ears hurt. I have only been able to eat ice cream and soup but been mostly sleeping. I have been weighing myself everyday and yesterday morning i was 172 then late i was 170. Well i weighed myself today and was 168!!!! 168!! i dont care if my scale is all messed up it actually said 168 so im going to put it on my chart im hoping that when i can eat again i will be on the south beach agian so i think i can keep it off im so happy to have just seen that number. oh and im super excited about going to beauty school ill start in june so im super happy ill be doing night classes so that way i wont have to take my daughter to daycare so ya for me im happy right now . tomorrow we are looking into a cheap but nice car the timing is bad money wise but we will have to get one eventually so im hoping we can get a decent deal but we will see.. people who read this please keep your fingers crossed for me i have been having horrible luck lately so please if you dont mind send me some good luck this way
168!!!!!!
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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05/19/2010 08:03
very bad day
Last night I became extremely sick I was living in the bathroom all night and morning. I have been in so much pain that i didnt eat anything but apple juice all day. It finally wore off at about noon today and by 6 i was ok to eat pizza of all things. I feel like it was ok for me to eat as crazy as it sound it soothed my stomach a bit. Im in so much pain though I think when the doctor was pushing on my hernia yesterday he moved it. when ever I bend over or put pressure on my left side it hurts so much now. Tomorrow is my ultrasound to see how bad it is and I have a feeling its gonna be bad. We will see until then I have not been doing the south beach diet and next week i get my tonsils out so I will restart phase one on june. Needles to say Im very depressed.
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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05/18/2010 09:05
Pretty bad day again, praying to get out of this slump
So today I found out that I have a abdominal hernia, it doesnt hurt really but I noticed after the doctor pushed on it alot its been hurting more. I also was running of 40 mins of sleep for some reason. I had two doctors appointments today one for the hernia and the other was my pre op to get my tonsils out. I was at the naval hospital from 9am to 12:30 so i gave in and had some hot coco and a muffin. I know im supposed to be going hard core sbd but i feel like giving up today. the for dinner i did not feel like cooking so we got del taco....im very dissapointed in my self
What set it all of wasn't even the hernia , it was the scale at my doctors. I weighed myself at home and I was 173. So at the hospital I was 177 which is very very dissapointing I felt like i was getting contol of it finally. but after finding out that the 4 lbs i had lost was fake I just wanna give up for today........
tomorrow i will not give in!!!
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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05/14/2010 10:05
Getting back on the SBD and some sad thoughts
12:50 am Still thursday to me lol -
So today I vowed I would get back on and I did just that, now all I gotta do is get over the 3 day hump haha. Ya know those three days that if you can just get over them you can do it haha. Im not going to weigh myself until sunday night because I had a ton of breadsticks as a "last meal" so I know that being hard core on the SBD then going off it and piging out to then going back on SBD has made my tummy really bloated. So anyways that my life right now my online class is actually going pretty well and my daughter is doing good with the potty training only 2 accidents a day for the last 4 days. Its weird after we did the potty train in three days method my daughter was perfect with it not one accident, then my husband and I left her with friends for allmost 2 hrs and since then she has had accidents. But anyways now she is getting back on track. She is pretty awesome at it for being only 18 mths. I am very hopeful with the SBD which is something I have never felt before
Ok so here are some sad weird thoughts I have been thinking but never brave enough to tell anyone before .....
1. sometimes I feel like I am just meant to be fat
2. I'm secretly scared that when I do loose the weight I will cheat on my husband (like my mother did to my father)
3. Do I deserve to be thin and beautiful?
4. After I loose this weight what will my excuse be for not being perfect?
I don't know if its just me that thinks thing like this or not but I feel that I need to write it out kinda like a theraputic thing. Idk but I will say that I and visulizing 169!
169! 169!! i will get there!!
Posted By: Natalie Jo
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