Good Morning everyone. I just want to say thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. I truly do appreciate it.
As far as my birthday, it wasnt really a good one. I went into the weekend thinking, ok this is going to be a very good weekend! So friday, when he got home, we were supposed to go out to Gameworks. But by the time he got home, I was starving, so we decided to grab something to eat instead. Well while we were eating, we got into an argument about something stupid and I ended up crying for the rest of the night. Saturday was a little better. He took me out to the movies and then out to dinner. My stomach wasn't feeling all that great, so I really could not eat. But all in all it was a good time. When we got home, he had our basement lit up with candles and had a vase full of flowers, champagne, and fruit. So i'm like in "awe". So we layed there, he fed me some fruit, but again..my stomach was not feeling all that great, so I couldnt really eat. So after awhile, i'm thinking i'm about to get my groove on, right in the middle of it, he stops feeling me up to eat the rest of the fruit and refill his champagne glass. I WAS FURIOUS. But of course, he didnt see what the big deal was. So that started another argument, and once again, I ended up crying for the rest of the night. So on Sunday, my actual birthday, I figured, ok this day will be sooooo much better. But it wasnt. He didnt have anything planned for that day, so he decided this was the perfect time for him to catch up on his football games! I"m like...ok seriously. Out of all the sundays, do you have to watch football TODAY? He told me that he wanted to watch that game and that I could wait until it was over...Well..another argument, but he ended up leaving, and I ended up crying. So now, i'm just depressed about the whole thing. And yesterday, I was still feeling kinda down, and he asked me what was wrong. And I was like...just thinking about this past weekend, and he said stop dwelling on the past, its over and done with now....
So I just gave up. Now we are just "existing". This is the reason why I hate birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, the whole nine yards. Because All I really want is some attention, and he's stressed out trying to figure out what I want.
And on top of all that, I gained 2 pounds!!! Don't know how that happened because I swear I hardly ate this weekend.
Now i'm all down and depressed....i'm really trying not to dwell on it, but its hard not to.
Yeah it's Friday!!! I get to sleep in until 8am tomorrow!!! (i usually get up at 445am). The kids are usually up by then, so they won't allow me to sleep any later.
I'm still kind of emotional, and after looking at my pill pack, it is that TOM..(you were right endurer!!!). I should be starting on Like Monday or Tues...so that would explain my over emotional state!!
I just want to send out thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement over the last couple of days. Precious: thanks for the tough love!! I really needed that swift kick to get me back on track. Gettinfit: That card was sooo sweet!!! Thank you!! It made me cry, but it was good tears! So I dont feel neglected. And Rachel...I'm ALWAYS willing to pray for someone! So anytime you need it, don't hesitate to ask!
*HOLDIN BACK TEARS* You know, I've been a part of several blog forums, but none ever like this. You gals are such a wonderful blessing to me. I am so greatful that God has allowed us all to interact, and encourage one another!
Ok, I'm done being sappy...for the moment!! This weekend is my b-day weekend, so I promised myself that I would not overdo it. If we go out, I'll eat a salad (half because those resturant salads are HUGE!!). And I'm not really a drinker, so don't want any alcohol. So I think I'll be ok. Yesterday hubby was all stressed out because the last several months I was telling him that this was a special milestone for me and that I wanted my birthday to reflect something special. That I wanted him to actually put some thought into my birthday, instead of just a card, or the usual family b-day dinner. So he comes home yesterday and was like all bummed and i'm like, "What's wrong". And he admitted that he was really stressed. Stressed about what to do for my birthday, his job, everything. So I felt like really bad. So I told him to forget about my birthday, if it was stressing him out that much, then just forget it. I mean when he's stressed, he withdraws completely from me and the kids. And I told him that I'd rather have him "here" with me and the kids, then for him to go all weekend in the basement all day and night playing that stupid playstation because he's stressed. And he was like, no you are just saying that. I can't just not forget about your b-day, i'll never hear the end of it! (ok so there was some truth to that, but not TOTALLY!) So I just looked at him and said, well i'll let you finish resting. And that was the last time we talked. So I went to bed crying (TOM thing agian) because first, he was being distant again, and two because he's stressed because of ME!!!....*deep sigh*
So that's how I feel today. Normally I would want to eat a whole pound of chips, cookies, ice cream, the whole nine yards....but you know what? I didnt feel like it!! I'm proud of me! But i'm worried about how this weekend will go considering what happened last night....Im a mess!!
Ok, i'm rambling. This is kinda long huh? SOWEE!!! We'll I gotta get to work. BBL to read some blogs. Have a good day!!!
I am really just not feeling myself today. I just feel real down and in the dumps. It could be the fact that I woke up late this am and on top of that it SNOWED!!! So the roads were horrible. But, I'm sitting here, and I just feel horrible! I really just want to go home, curl up in my electric blanket, and CRY!!!! *Deep Sigh*.
I was like REALLY bad yesterday. I ate soooo much food. But it was all soooo good! (could that be the reason i'm so down today???) I have made it up in my mind that I really need to stop letting myself slip like this. But I also need to have a "free" day to be more leinent(?..can't spell) on my diet. On my free day's I never really "over" do it, its just those days that I fall off and never get back on that kills me!!!
I hope everyone is having a good week so far...maybe once I read everyone else's blog I'll find some encouragement..............
Sooo...ok my day is already starting out bad!!! In the month of December, we have like 4 birthdays, including mines, so we had this breakfast birthday celebration...and someone brought chocolate chip cookies!!! Now, I can resist any other of my favorite foods but this one!!!! I only had two, but I had already made this day my "off" day for my diet. Its my last day of school, and me and a couple of my classmates are going to either Mr.B's or Gameworks after we get out of class....so I figured I would just eat light today and save my calories for later. But...i gave into temptation!!! They had cheezy potatoes(i had a tablespoon full), Cinnamon rolls( i had a half of one), yogurt(grabbed one for later), fruit, egg dishes (don't like eggs yeah!!!), and turkey bacon (2 slices). So I guess I didnt do all that bad, but the company is also bringing in lunch today.....I'm just going to stay at my desk!!!...
I did get my exercise in yesterday. I had a date with Billy (endurer) and so I'm sure i burned enough calories to make the ones I ate today go away!
This week is going to be a bad week for me as far as calories and such. Our company christmas gathering is Thursday, and this weekend is my birthday. I'm going to have to be EXTRA good next week!!
Ok, guess i'm rambling...but one more thing...I FINALLY PUT MY TREE UP!!! I feel so much better now! At the rate I was going, it wasnt going up until christmas eve!!...lol
Seriously...when will I learn that cheating is BAD for me?? I was feeling pretty crappy yesterday. Woke up with a migraine out of this world, so my day was pretty shot from there. Anyway, didn't really feel like eating until around 3pm. My son had a bag of BBQ potato chips, and I grabbed a small handfull figuring it wouldn't hurt because I didn't eat ANYTHING so far that day. O M G!!! I had a stomach ache sooooo bad after that!!! I'm on a low fat diet, so I usually only eat like 10-15gm of fat a day. TOTALLY forgot how much grease is in Better Made potato chips!! So that did it! One day I will learn.... But apparently I am a SLOW learner!
Today is once again my weigh in day. The past 2 weeks, I've only lost 1 pound. I'M not all that sad about it, but I know my nutritionist is gonna give me a nice lecture....Hopefully, I'll be ok after that.
I've been reading some of you guy's blog and noticed that a lot of you are on dailyplate.com. I so love that site!!! Its very helpful when it comes to figuring out calories and fat grams in common foods like lean cuisines and fruits and veggies.
I STILL HAVE NOT PUT UP MY CHRISTMAS TREE!!! I was gonna do it yesterday, but due to the head and stomach ache, was not able to. Maybe i'll do it tonight when I get home from work. Cooked a huge pot of chicken noodle soup so don't have to cook dinner tonight for the fam!
You know, since I've started my new diet, I have been super stressed about my weigh ins on Monday. But you know, this time, I'm not all that stressed out!
I've come to realize that this is a lifestyle change. That for 29 years, I have been eating things without taking account to WHAT I was eating. So why in the world did I think that EVERYTHING would just magically change over a month? But I've come to my senses now. I am no longer afraid of my weigh in. The good thing is that i've lost the 2 pounds that I gained from Turkey day. I know my nutritionist is going to be down on me, but you know what? I DONT CARE!!!...lol. Yesterday I got so many compliments from my co-workers about how i'm slimming down, and they can tell the difference in my face...So whatever she says, i'm gonna take it LIGHTLY. But I'm back on track, so we'll see what my weigh in says on Monday...
BTW, has anyone put their christmas tree up yet? I so don't have the time...This weekend hubby's christmas party, next weekend my birthday, the week after that our Christmas program at church...lol *deep sigh*
The Real Meaning of Soulja Boy's 'Superman that Hoe'
Ladies, I have to admit, before I read this article, I never really sat and LISTENED to the song. I am truly appalled!! I can't believe I was trying to learn how to do this dance!
Soulja Boy has stormed on the scene with a dance and a string of weak rhymes in his hit "Crank That." The 17-year-old rapper may have gained the backing of label executives tossing cash at the self-proclaimed "Teen of da South" and artists who undermine their credibility by performing the "Crank That" dance onstage, but real hip-hop heads know that Soulja Boy is an embarrassment to the genre.
Now, however, it seems that in addition to being lyrically asinine, the young "rapper" popular with children is referring to a vulgar sex act when he uses the phrase "Superman that h@e," as in the "Crank That" chorus.
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe Watch Me Crank It Watch Me Roll Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy Then Super Man Dat Hoe Now Watch Me YUUUUUUA (Crank Dat Soulja Boy)... Now Watch Me YUUUUUUA (Crank Dat Soulja Boy)...
The phrase is also used in a verse:
Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe Watch Me Lean And Watch Me Rock Super Man Dat Hoe Then Watch Me Crank Dat Robocop
Later he mentions something about "super soaking," which should make sense once you know what it truly means to "Superman a H@e":
I'm Bouncin On My Toe Watch Me Super Soak Dat Hoe
Initially, "Superman that H@e" seemed like an offensive but mostly meaningless phrase. In actuality, however, the phrase appears to refer to a vulgar sexual act. Ironic, considering that many of Soulja Boy's biggest fans are teens and tweens whose parents obviously don't pay enough attention to what their children listen to.
According to several websites, "Superman That H@e" means this: When, as a male, a girl you are with refuses to have sex with you, you wait until she falls asleep. Then you masturbate, ejaculate on her back, and stick the sheet to your semen (now on her back) so that when she wakes up in the morning, the sheet is stuck to her back like a cape. Hence you have "Supermanned" her.
About what you'd expect from someone whose catch phrase is "YUUUUUUUUUA!"
Yahoo Answers indicates that this is the meaning of the phrase. So does the popular Urban Dictionary. So does Wiki Answers. Of course, all of them could be wrong, but it's not very likely. You can also do your own Google search to hunt down the meaning of the term.
As one respondent on Yahoo Answers said of the meaning of the phrase: "well if u hear it in a song... it means ur listening to crappy music. u probably should lock urself in a room with some 80-early 90s hip hop, that would be a good start." Truer words were never spoken.
Now, whether or not Soulja Boy knew the meaning of the phrase before he included it in his song or whether the meaning sprung up after the phrase became popular is difficult to know. But suffice to say that the term "Superman A H@e," regardless of what the "superman" portion means, is still unacceptable because it refers to a woman as a "hoe," and even moreso because it is packaged in the seemingly harmless framework of a song built around a dance.
If you go on YouTube, you will see a dance class full of what appear to be 8-year-olds 'Cranking It" to Soulja Boy's song. Are they aware of what Soulja Boy is saying? Is their dance instructor? Are their parents?
It's bad enough that the song sets back true hip-hop music by 15 years and makes a mockery of a style of music once defined by skills, not corny dances. It's even worse when that song, which appeals to children, contains vulgar terminology that seems to relate to an offensive sex act.
Undoubtedly, too many people have jumped on Soulja Boy's bandwagon already; it seems to be the easy thing to do when you don't really care about the state of hip-hop music and you just want to forget your worries by doing a dance that is really a combination of four already-existing dances.
But I believe it's time for people to jump off the bandwagon and call Soulja Boy out not only for the rap clown that he is, but the offensive rap clown that he is.
Last Wed, my hubby came home and parked his car in the garage like any other day. But when he went outside to smoke, hhis car wouldnt start. No REAL biggy, of course we would have to have someone come out and look at it, but we still had my car right??? WRONG!!!! The VERY NEXT DAY...after we get home from our Turkey day celebrations, i turned my car off to run in and get the kids clothes (mom was going to keep them so I could go shopping the next day), came back out, and MY CAR WOULDNT START!! WTH was going on??? So, luckily my in-laws let us borrow their other car since BOTH of ours werent working. So we put my car in the shop, and i just got it back yesterday. (Cost me $575!!!...insane..). So i'm sitting in class and I get a text message "Hey babe, mom and dad's car cut off on me on the way home..can't pick the kids up". WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON HERE???? *deep sigh* So i sent the babysitter a text message explaining what happened and that I would be there shortly. Luckily i have a super cool instructor, and was able to leave class early without getting docked for not being there! So I go to pick the kids up and babysitters BF was there. He says that he will come and take a look at hubby's car for us. So needless to say, he found out what was wrong (dead battery). He charged it back up and since then the car has started. Hubby is supposed to pick up a battery today, HOPEFULLY if his car doesnt die on him again....SERIOUSLY...why me??? So guys, just keep me in your prayers that we have good car luck from now on!!!
*Deep Sigh*. Since i've been on my diet, I swear I can count on my hands how many times i've done the number 2!!! (sorry if i'm grossing anyone out). I've tried everything from laxitives, to fiber supplements and nothing seems to be helping!!! And its not like I dont have the urge to go, just when i try nothing comes out but rabbit pellets!!
I mean COME ON!!! Lol, I've never wanted to go to the bathroom so bad in my life!!! Does anyone have any suggestions?
Ok, so I admit. I didnt really gain too much over the holiday. Just 2.5 pounds...but I dont wanna mess my graph up!...lol. But I'm doing a soup fast this week, so no "real" carbs or anything. I'm supposed to be down to 197 by next monday...gonna have to work my butt off to do it, but I believe that I can. I've come way to far to just start "binging" again (which is what I kinda did this weekend). I"m an emotional eater, and when I'm really down, I tend to comfort myself with food. My 30th birthday is comming up on 12/9, and I"m not really that thrilled about it. *deep sigh* I know that I should be greatful because God has allowed me to come this far, but I feel like I haven't really accomplished anything...I STILL haven't finished school, I'm STILL in debt, I"m STILL not where I want to be in my christian walk....I dunno. I'm really trying not to be down about it, but I've always been super hard on myself. That's why this weight thing is soooo important to me because I know that it is something that I desire so much to do. And even though I have slip ups, I know that I will get back on the wagon and start all over...(lol, I should take my own advise huh???) *deep sigh*
Anyway, how was everyone's holiday? How much did you gain?
. And 
But I've come to my senses now. I am no longer afraid of my weigh in. The good thing is that i've lost the 2 pounds that I gained from Turkey day. I know my nutritionist is going to be down on me, but you know what? I DONT CARE!!!...lol. Yesterday I got so many compliments from my co-workers about how i'm slimming down, and they can tell the difference in my face...So whatever she says, i'm gonna take it LIGHTLY. But I'm back on track, so we'll see what my weigh in says on Monday...
