well

I don't know if I should be upset or not.... One of my closest friends that I have(that I wrote about and the taking advantage) isn't speaking to me...see news travels fast in a small town.  I knew it wasn't going to take long.  I suppose it needed to come out, but this blog wasn't the way I had planned.   So I'll be seeing them tonight at sport practice....should be interesting.  It's just weird to be very close with someone for a couple years and talk to her everyday and then poof, dropped off the face of the earth.

My biggest problem is that I don't let people know me in real life.  I'm really guarded with my feelings, with my private life, with everything.  I'm friendly and outgoing and super at chit chatting, but it's a big deal if I let you into my life.  Just sucks.  I wonder if this is it, or if it's only temporary.  I like her alot and enjoy my time with her and I'll miss hanging out, but it's her choice.

Crappy rainy day...

So we're all stuck in the house all week. BLAH!  My dd actually is te only one doing anything "fun" she's sleeping over friends house.  So the boys and I are doing arts and crafts and running errands.  We glued craft sticks, then watched a movie and then went grocery shopping and got home ate lunch and then we made play dough, which is always so exciting in our house.  :) LOL!  So that should keep them busy for a few hours until we have to leave to go to practice.  Hopefully they won't be fighting over the play dough "utensils". LOL! 

I just want the rain to stop... brrrrr it's so cold outside.  I was supposed to be tiling my kitchen backsplash this week, but it's tough to get involved in anything so "involved" and have to entertain the kids...so that's on hold for a bit.   Did you guys hear about that recipe(I think it's from the Biggest Loser site) about using a portabella mushroom to make an individual pizza?  Use the mushroom like a crust...well, I got mushrooms so I'm going to try it.  I'll let you know if it's worth the time.   I usually use whole wheat pizza dough(it's frozen)..just let it thaw in the fridge or I use tortilla bread. 

Nothing exciting going on in my neck of the woods.  Skipping my meeting tonight... I don't want to be bright and cheerful when I'd like to spend the night with my family instead...so I'm not going.   

Well, I'm being called to play with play dough.

How's this for a better day?

I just got  home from shopping.  We went to get my kids some sneakers for spring/summer at Bobs.  They(the boys) got hooked up with a great pair of New Balance....it's a buy one get one 1/2 off sale.  And as we were leaving, dh said that he was taking me shopping.  :)

So I just came home with not one but two new purses. :)  And no they're not Coach.  I got a Michael Kors one and a Kenneth Cole one. :)  The Kenneth Cole is a bucket tote and it's cream leather with black stitching and the Michael Kors is a camel colored leather satchel. :)  I'm happy.  I couldn't decide on which one I wanted, so dh said, "get both."   Now I don't EVER splurge on myself EVER... so this is a HUGE deal.  HUGE.   I'll probably have buyers remorse and return them tomorrow, but at the moment I'm happy. :) 

well, we tried...

Dh came home friday with a Bouquet of flowers for me declaring, "See!  I didn't didn't forget." Our anniversary is Monday.  Anyway.  Like I was saying there was a festival in town this weekend and it was a little crazy.  There were things the kids wanted to do and see and then sports first thing in the morning, so it was a rush rush rush day.  ANd by the time it was time for dh and I to go out, I didn't want to go.  I don't know what was wrong with me yesterday, but I kept getting mad and crying throughout the whole day because everything seemed to be going wrong or not the way I expected it to go.  It wasn't even anything major that went wrong, but it bothered me to no end.   So we were supposed to go to a fancy smancy restaurant, but didn't know we needed reservations and we were out all day and didn't call...so that was that.  So instead of going to our old stand by(the only restaurant in town that isn't pizza or chinese) which is casual, but good food, we decided to try a new restaurant that opened up about 20 minutes away...did I mention I live in the middle of nowhere?    It was awful.  Awful.  It was absolutely disgusting.  It just topped off my wonderful day.

I got...seared salmon in a balsamic reduction served over a vegetable rissotto...sounds good right?  It came and it smelled like dog piss...no lie.  A smell that has greeted me more than once in my lovely household when my dogs were puppies and would pee.  I thought I was going to hurl.  I tried to be good and not be a bitch and treid to eat it.. I couldn't.  I gave my dh a bite on my fork and as it came toward him, he pulled away and said, "DO NOT eat that.. that smelled horrid."  The risotto wasn't risotto...it was long grained rice..that was crunchy...and the aparagus in in was like chewing on a piece of bamboo... um so I didn't eat.  I had ordered a beer... the house beer... it was cloudy and murkey and tasted like a bottle cap.

My dh ordered filet mignon.  It was wrapped in bacon and served with lobster on top and had smashed red potatoes and some grilled veggies.  First of all it was sweet...really sweet.  Not like you want your steak to taste.  It was tender like filet mignon is, but didn't taste good at all.  I don't know what they used in it,  but he ate it because he paid for it. LOL!  So we opted out of dessert. LOL!  Gosh, it was bad. 

So dh says he owes me another night out.... I wanted so much to splurge for dinner, I was saving calories for that dinner and ended up not eating...and I didn't even have anything forbidden at home.     I spent the day today cleaning my youngest son's room.  He had a grand ole time in there and couldn't find the floor.  I'd like to rearrange it, but I'm at a loss as to what to do.  Every night he comes into my bed...he says he's afraid of the window.  I don't have any other place I can put the bed because of the closet door and the door to the room.    I knew something was wrong with him because he kept telling me he was afraid.  My 8 yr old has been sleeping upside down on his bed so his head's not near the windows.   It's tough because windows are on one side, closet and door on the other and I don't want to cut the room in 1/2 by putting the bed down the middle....so I made a lovely graph/diagram and have been rearranging the items over and over again to find something that will give him room to play.    Anyway, that's been my day.

It snowed here earlier and now we're getting rain and it's forecasted to rain until Thursday..and my kids are on vacation...wish me luck. 

I only have a quick minute

I've been volunteering at my kids school most of the day and I have to run and get my youngest from preschool in a few minutes.   I just wolfed down some lunch....yumm I love zucchini. :)

My wedding anniversary is this weekend (13 yrs) and my dh forgot.  Well, he was reminded on Wednesday that it was this weekend.  So much for doing something special.   I'm so torn though because there's a big festival in our town this weekend...and tradition is that everyone comes back to town for it...sort of like Thanksgiving.  I want to go out and see my old friends, but I don't want that to be my anniversary deal. LOL!  But if I use my mom as a babysitter I don't know if she'd do it next weekend and I don't know how nuts our schedule is going to be next weekend with the spring sports starting.   We'll see.

My muscles weren't sore from that bike ride unless you count my ass.  My ass isn't used to sitting on a bike, that's for sure.   Dh said he'd go with me again, but no way was he going the route he chose.   No duh! (I sound like my 8 yr old)  He's definitely learned his lesson...later that night he was looking for a snack and asked me if he could have some pretzels. LOL!   Hopefully this will stick.   I think he realized how bad he is because I know he thought because he can ride on the universal bike for an hour and I can't do it more than 20 minutes(I get bored out of my skull and can't do it)  I can't do a treadmill either.  He though he was going to blow me out of the water and that he was in tip top shape.  OK...  Oh boy did I rub it in too.  I got home and I grabbed another sweatshirt and was like, "Omg I'm freezing....I didn't even break a sweat."  I think it was hard for him to say to me, "Go on ahead without me."  We used to go running together and he could always out distance me...me I was happy with a 3 mile loop.....he'd want to do 5-7 miles and if we ran side by side, he'd always be 1/2 a step ahead of me.  It would drive me crazy.  I cannot follow someone running it does something to my psyche, like I'm losing.  I think it's years of being in track. 

Anyway...I think  I may need to find a friend to go out with tonight and then I can go out with my dh tomorrow and do the whole dinner and a movie and not feel like I'm missing something in town. LOL!   

I sound so lame. Sorry.

A better day?? I hope so...

It's going to be near 50 today.  So I'm having dh take a look at my bike and make sure everything's tight and in running order and I'm going to take it out for a ride.  Hopefully the sand won't be too much for me... I'd hate to crash. LOL!   

My big old spoilt dh is outside right now with the tractor people.  He just got his new tractor delivered.  I can't believe he actually went ahead and bought a freaking tractor.  It's one with a scoop and you can put on other attatchments like a backhoe, post hole digger, etc... We do not need one, but he becomes obsessed and doesn't quit till he gets what he wants.  And here I am feeling guilty that I want to buy a Coach purse.  

So I've been feeling extremely guilty for eating chocolates and jelly beans, but I'm not going to beat myself up.  I haven't changed in weight...although it's probably from the way my stomach is reacting to the chocolate. LOL!  TMI!  ;)  So today's a new day.  And starting again.    I know that I need to plan my day better...have in mind what I'm going to eat for the day so I don't do what I've been doing lately. 

Well, I'm off to go for a bike ride...I just asked dh to check my bike and I think he may take his lunch break and ride with me. :) 

******Just an update*****

Update...

There's so much going on in my life right now.  Good and bad.  I'm still around...still  trying to be healthy.  It's not working that great because at the moment, I have zero willpower.  And my stupid dh isn't helping me any.  He of course doesn't get it and thinks that he's doing nothing wrong.    I know it's my choice to put the candy in my mouth...I get that, but if it wasn't here in the first place.... you get my drift.  This is how bad it is.  I bought candy for my kids for their Easter baskets...a mini hollow easter bunny, gold chocolate coins, a skittles filled egg, and filled a plastic egg with malted milk ball eggs.  It wasn't alot.  My kids apparantly don't like malted milk ball eggs.. who knew?  So what does he do...runs down to CVS and comes home with a bag of starburst jelly beans, a bag of dove dark chocolate eggs,  dove truffle eggs, not one but TWO bags of candy coated chocolate eggs....I'm not kidding.  Guess what? it's all gone....it's tuesday and it's gone and I probably ate the majority of it.  

So yesterday he's taking the bottles back to get the return at the supermarket...he asks, "since I'll be at the store is there anything you need?"  So I get a paper and make a list...eggs, spinach, tomatoes, wheat pizza dough, mozzarella cheese, edamame.  He came back with what I wanted but also a tub of sherbert and a 1/2 gallon of ice cream, and chocolate rice cakes, caramel rice cakes, a GIANT bag of doritoes.   He doesn't care...because no matter what I say,  he still buys the crap.  He obviously doesn't do the grocery shopping, but even when I do go by myself, he'll stop on the way home from work and pick up junk.

Ok enough about that... I'm registered for my summer courses.  I'm taking one in the first session and then doing a week long intensive workshop course in July. 8:30am-4:30pm.  I'm nervous...and excited  and nervous and nervous. :)  LOL!   

Our spring sports season is getting under way.  We've done tryouts for the boys and now are just waiting for word on the team and when practice starts.  Dd's softball opening day is in 2 weeks, but no word yet on when they're going to start practicing.  We got snow the friday before Easter so our fields are really soggy and wet....so the town hasn't released them yet.  

It's still really cold cold here...high of 40, but I've been thinking about taking my bike out and going biking.  Dh said he wants to check my bike and make sure everything's ok and said he's worried that I'll get hit.  I live in the country and there aren't any shoulders to the roads and the road we live on isn't wide enough for 2 cars..we pull off to let a car pass or we pass by each other going 10 miles an hour. LOL!  So it's not exactly safe....and I don't want to go out into a bike trail by myself just yet. ;)  I get nervous alone.

Well, I hope everyone's doing well.  I'll check on everyone soon... I Promise.

We'll see if this posts, I'm having one hell of a time staying logged in here.

Yucky day.

It's one of those cold raw days...about  30 degrees right now.  At this rate the 4 inches of snow we got the other day won't melt till June.

You know there's been so much going on and I'm slowly finding out who my real friends are.  It really makes the whole smalltown life not so ideal.  I just feel like I have a freaking rain cloud over my head that I can't get away from.   I have a lady in town taking my customers by offering them huge discounts, so much so that she's making ZERO profit.  How can I compete with that?  Now who's going to be loyal to me, when they want to save a buck? Regardless of my history with people, I'm losing them.   I don't know what to do about it.   You know all I wanted to do was make alittle bit of extra money for our family.  

Our son who's 8 got in big trouble here yesterday for calling his sister a terribly derogatory name...and blamed a neighbor boy for teaching him it.  My son doesn't know what it means or anything.   But long story short, he told the kid, that *I* told him he could no longer be friends with him and told the bus driver, he's not allowed to sit near him on the bus.   And the boy said, "well it's not a swear in my house."  and was hurt and upset and cried all the way home...and now I'm waiting for the ball to drop and his mom to confront me.   I just didn't want anymore drama in my life at the moment.  

So I've been eating kashi cereal all day long...the twigs and whatever it's called.  All day.   breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, snack....LOL!  I guess it could be worse..I could be eating all the freaking ice cream sandwhiches my dh brought home.

Oh and speaking of my dh.   Holy shit.  I'm going to hurt him.  He called me yesterday on his way home...said, "I'm stopping at BJ's (like costco) to get some salmon is there anything you need?"  I'm thinking great, he'll get stuff and I won't have to go out to the store this weekend.  So I'm telling him, bread, frozen veggies, look for edamame(it's in the fresh veggie section), get some cereal, etc.  I swear to God that he called me every 5 minutes asking me if he could buy something "for the kids"...the last call of the 5 in 15 minutes was him trying to convince me that Yoohoo was "GOOD" for the kids for lunches(my kids drink vanilla rice milk and water)  So omg he came home with so much junk that I told him not to get.  I swear to you he got a 5 lbs bag of french fries...my kids don't even like fries.  He bought whatever he was craving and used the kids as a scapegoat.    I now have 100 calorie packs of cookies, granola bars, enough popcorn for a year, goldfish bags, 42 ice cream sandwhiches, a giant bag of pizza rolls, enough chicken nuggets to feed an elementary school....

Did I get my frozen veggies, cereal, or edamame or EVEN salmon you ask?  Well, that would be a BIG FAT NO!  Omg he's cruising.  Be strong, be strong.

So I'm sitting here

Drinking my raspberry pomegranate tea and wondering where in the hell spring is.  Can anyone tell me?  I did see daffodils popping up through the ground today though, so that's a sign it's coming, right?  It's just sleeting/freezing rain out and it's miserabley cold and gross.  I can't get warm to save my life, that's why I need the tea. :)

Today was an interesting day...it was our spring picture day at school... ever try getting a preteen ready for school when she's going to have her pictures taken?  LOL!  Oh boy was it ever fun!! time. LOL!  She did look cute, but  the drama that surrounds everything drives me crazy.  Like her 40 minute shower.   I run up to the bathroom and ask her if she's almost done and she starts screeching about her soap being on the floor of the tub and she thinks her brothers used it and she's not touching it and she wants new soap and then the tears start.  OMG pick up the freaking soap and rinse it off for goodness sake.  She acted like it was dropped in a vat of acid or something.  So getting aggravated with her I told, "THEN JUST USE YOUR SHAMPOO THEN!"  after some more muttering,  she did.  DRAMA!   She was late for school...because after the shower started the wardrobe dilema(apparantly the outfit she picked out the night before wasn't right) and then her hair wasn't right and she had a zit.  Give me strength. 

THis I know is just a preview of the years to come and quite frankly I'm scared out of my tree. LOL!  She becomes possessed and I wait for her head to start spinning around and green vomit come spewing out of her mouth.  Puberty is scary.

I have a pretty good day food wise.  Dinner was not what I was expecting but it worked out ok.  I've got a million things to do tomorrow, hopefully I'll have enough time in the day to get it all done.  I don't want to have to worry about doing housework all weekend, except for a little here and there, so I need to get it done tomorrow. 

Hope everyone's week is going well. ;)

He's killing me...

So last night because my dh was sick, I made him soup.  Chicken soup, with broccoli, orange cauliflour, spinach, edamame(that's my ingredient in every soup no matter what) and wheat pasta(a tiny bit).   So it's simmering away on the stove and my house smells divine...and dh comes into the kitchen and says, "Hon, how hard is it to make biscuits?"  I'm like, "oh no you're not making biscuits."   He did.  and he put shredded cheddar in the batter and sprinkled it all over top of them.  Jerk.  I haven't had a biscuit in over a year...but guess what I had last night?  Not one, but 2 biscuits.  Jerk.    It's because my dd asked, "Mom are you making chicken and dumplings?"  when I first started chopping stuff for the soup.  UGH!

And..AND he went to CVS to pick up some cold medicine for his cold and came back with a big bag of Lindt chocolate truffles.  I'm going to hurt him.  HURT him.  He's been doing crap like this for 2 weeks now and I've had it.  He came home from work last week with 2 gallons of ice cream and oreo cookies...and Thursday night he made 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies and saturday morning I get in the truck and he grabs my purse and puts 6 kit kat bars in it.  We're a family of 5, and I'm on a "diet", why were there six bars?  Could you please answer that?   My willpower is fading fast....he better not keep this up. 

So my anniversary is approaching quickly....faster than I realized.  13 yrs. and we don't have any plans.  I want to do something because we never go out together, but everything I suggest is boring.  I know if I wanted to say I wanted to go play paintball he'd be all for it, but that's OH SO ROMANTIC!   I just wanted to spend the night at a local B&B, but he who never goes out, wants to go to some place that's "hip and happening" (my words) that we can go out have dinner, have a few drinks, maybe some entertainment...all so we won't have to drive.  WTF??  I live in the boonies...I guess he wants to go to Boston for the night.... I don't want to.  Anyway, we need to figure out what we're doing, or it'll be nothing, just like always.

Anyway, I have to jump in the shower and get my day started it's already 10 am...yikes.