Starving but fighting the urge

I have decided to write here anytime I start to try to sway from my ZONE! This means my EP blog may be blown up with random rants, thoughts and emotional ups and downs, but I guess that's what it's supposed to be for I've noticed. I ate 2 peices of toast this morning, drank some water and had a small bag of peanuts. This is just 550 cal's for me today so far and I'm quite happy about this mentally but my body is screaming to pop some candy in my mouth or run to the vending machine to find some junk to curb my food craving... I won't do it!

I have a lunch break coming up in another hour or two, what can I do to fight this urge? Help!

In the ZONE

Today is the day I will begin my exercise program again. I'm so excited! I've been anxiously waiting for school to finish so I can focus solely on my health. I have surrounded myself with everything health-wise... magazines, books, pictures- ALL over the place and I love it. It's so motivating, everywhere I turn are words and images of motivation and advice. I've noticed that the people who lose so much weight are in this ZONE- a zone where they are untouchable, unstobbable and nothing can get in their way- I feel I'm finally at that point. This is the year for me. Yes I took off for 1 month due to school, but now it's ON! I'm proud that I haven't given up- cause I refuse to. I know I can do this. If so many of  you did- I can too and I'm so ready.

My time-out is almost over...

April has been a bad month for me. Just horrible. I haven't exercised in 2 weeks   and I can definately feel the effects and the difference. It's amazing how quickly your body can mold itself back to its old state of being even though it took my 3 months to get there. And that's what I've been trying to tell myself- I've been working out hard for 3 months- why stop? School has been taking over my schedule and I also work full time, so it's hard balancing it. My trainer has been very understanding and motivating. I bought a gym bag yesterday so that I'm able to get into my workout clothes at the end of my day at work and just drive straight to the gym. If I stop and go home- I never want to leave home. I immediately start to get comfortable. So this is a new approach I will be trying once school stops being to time consuming- HOPEFULLY next week. Unfortunately this week I have tutoring for my college algebra class every night and still have to study for my bio test on Thursday. UGGH the stress! I still come here and read everyone's stories- it keeps me soooo motivated! I love it.

I'm not giving up. My head is still in the game. I just took a time out- but I promise myself it WON'T be for long- it just can't be.

Emotional Eating Battle- I WON!

I purposely stayed away from this site for the past week or so and I'm sorry to admit that. I was having some personal stuff happen and had a pretty emotional week. Unfortunately I didn't exercise AT ALL last week and I'm mad at myself. I feel like I've stepped back 5 steps. Tonight though- it's on again. I can't let myself down and my personal trainer has invested so much time into helping me- I can't let him down either. I dont' want to give up. NORMALLY I just stop- but coming here is so encouraging. I know I can keep going.

I never realized how much of an emotional eater I am until this past week. I have a very drama-free life for the most part, and don't usually allow things to get to me. But this week my boyfriend,  who's in Afghanistan was supposed to come home to visit me- I took off from work and was SO ready for him to be here. I've waited a WHOLE year to see him. Then Monday came and I didn't hear from him at all- it was the worst feeling not knowing what had happened, and all I wanted to do was drown my sorrows in a big cup of ice cream. I used every ounce of my will power NOT to emotionally eat but it was SUCH a battle.

Unfortunately I was too sad to exercise all last week, but I'm proud that I didn't over-eat/emotionally eat. It opened my eyes though to a problem that I didn't realize was that serious. Now I'm gonna' work that much harder to fight those urges. As for my exercise- I just am going to jump back on track. I see so many people who've lost SO much weight in 2-3 months- and i've barely lost any in the 3-4 months I've been exercising. I'm starting to get really impatient. I need to stay in the game though- the weight will come off soon- just not as fast as I want it.... right?

LOL someone reassure me! I need reassurance!

Ok I'm off... Until Next time.
XOXO

They FIT!

I'm so excited. I just put on a pair of size 22 capri's that I could NOT even START to zip up last December. Now I put them on with no problem! WOOHOO! I refused to buy any size 24 pants- so I have been wearing just the 4-5 that had fit and did laundry every 2-3 days. But I just recently bought a new pair of 22 capri's and now THESE FIT! I'm so damn happy. This means progress. Little- but it all eventually adds up right? I can't wait to be OUT of these 22's! Hopefully I can be an 18 by MAY- I'm crossing my fingers...

I've haven't been on here for a while- just been really busy. But hopefully I will be updating a couple times a week. I must run off to school and then WORK and then my exercise- what a busy day.

Ciao!

Exercise: Don't THINK about it: Just Do it!

In reading alot of blogs around here- I notice so many people seem to struggle with the exercise and believe me- I know the feeling. At times I struggle too with NOT wanting to do it, and with getting into that routine. I admit I didn't exercise last night- shame on me... but I will be exercising tonight. I have to- no excuses. I have a friend at work who's a workout MANIAC (super buff guy) and he t told me something that's stuck with me. It has helped me and maybe will help you all in your mindset of exercising. He said: "You don't QUESTION 'WHHHHYYY do I have to brush my teeth today?' You just do it cause you know if not your teeth will rot and fall out... You don't QUESTION 'WHYYYY do I have to take a shower today!?" you just do it because you know if not you'll stink and be gross and can get infections and be dirty. It's the same with exercise. Don't question, just do it- cause if not you'll be fat and unhealthy, and shorten your lifespan. Make it a necessity to live- not an option."

Blunt? yes of course... but TRUE. And I think about him telling me that every time I start dragging my feet and complaining about exercising- and now it's really not so bad. I have been experiencing bad pain in the heels of my feet since I've started to exerise but I am not letting that stop me. I don't think about it- I just do it. Starting this week I'm trying to encorporate this same thinking with my dieting- and so far it's been helping. I'm still struggling a bit- but that's where I find strength in this site.

To all those reading: We can do it. No more THINKING about how we DON'T want to exercise- just do it- we owe it to ourselves and our bodies, our families to be healthy. It's tough at first, but like everything else- it gets easier with time. We can do it!

Just my two cents...

Hand me a Dr. Pepper or I'll go POSTAL!

I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. (They say the first step to recovery is admittance lol) I never knew this until I tried to stop drinking it and got the WORST caffeine headache EVER- then drank Dr. Pepper and it went away! So now I'm more determined to FIGHT this CRAZY addiction to soda. Yesterday I worked 10 hours and was just about to go postal cause I was fighting the horrible headache and extreme urge to pop open a can of DP. TWICE I almost did because my headache was nearly unbearable and the motrin I had taken didn't work. But I prevailed! I didn't drink nothing but WATER all day- and I'm so happy.

HOWEVER... I don't know if I can handle 2 days of this horrible headache... I want a soda so bad! I'm fighting the temptation- but I don't know if I'll win or if the Dr. Pepper will get the best of me.

Am I the only one dealing with this? Would ONE DP really hurt me THAT bad? Just one a day and water the rest?

I'm off to try to focus on how much I love eating these carrots...

Baby steps in the RIGHT direction!

Today I'm going to begin my battle with a diet. I'm not necessarily following any particular plan- more just going to eat healthy and document every food/drink that enters my mouth. I call it a battle- maybe that's a bad word- I'll say- my new JOURNEY down the road to healthy eating habits! Yes that sounds more like it... A diet usually has an end- and Lord knows I need to change my eating patterns for GOOD. I am going to monitor my calories and try my absolute hardest to eat consistently throughout the day. No more eating once a day! That's defeating the hard work I'm doing with my exercises...

I have a new mini goal- to be in a size 18 by my birthday on May 9th! I know I can do it... I'm in a size 22 right now and can ALMOST fit into my size 20's... but I want to be in an 18 with a cute as hell outfit for my birthday. I'm dying to be able to shop somewhere OTHER then Lane Bryant- I'm so tired of the clothes there- they almost don't even look cute to me anymore. I used to spend so much money at that place and my closet is FULL of clothes from there- I'm sure a couple thousand dollars worth... but NO MORE! My days of shopping there are done. So- size 18 by May- and I want my outfit to be from somewhere like New York and Company- so cute. Woohoo! I'm excited for the challenge.

Who's with me? Down at least 2 sizes by May- that's 1 size per month... we can do it.

Little goals lead to big results!

Time is NOT on my side...

I don't want to do a diet- only cause I know I won't live by one and it'll get me discouraged. I just want to monitor my food intake, watch my calories and back off all the junk. My biggest battle is TIME- is this an excuse? Maybe, but I haven't found a way to really attack this issue. Being a full time student and full time employee, I'm out of my house for sometimes 13 hours a day- I don't have TIME to cook food, or even barely enough time to make anything quick like a salad or sandwich. I know I waste so much on eating out and I hate it, but really with my schedule its the only way I can eat. I have been living off of Subway salads, Chilli's salads, McCalisters soups/salads for the past week, and it's costly! PLUS I'm still struggling with trying to eat more then twice a day- again there's the TIME factor again.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get in 6 small meals a day, for someone  as busy as me? I know it's possible-and I know I'm not the only one... so HELP! Please....... pretty please....

I did not exercise yesterday night- shame on me, but I will be back on track again tonight- I promise that to myself.

One foot in front of the Other...

I am so motivated! All day today at work in between my calls I read so many blogs and saw a ton of "Before" and "After" pictures- I am so anxious! I can't WAIT to have MY "Before" and "After" pictures up! I don't know any of you ladies, however I can't help but feel so proud of all of you because I understand how hard it is! Good for ALL of you in your success...
I found myself literally in tears because I can relate so much to so many of you... some are alot older then me and have children and such- I don't have to worry about that- it's just me, myself and I; however I can still relate to the struggle.
We all must start SOMEWHERE-now I just have to take a chill pill and relax and know that you all didn't get to where you are now over night- it took time, so like I saw in someone's blog today- one foot in front of the other- day by day. There will be ups and downs, but just maintain focused and if you fall off track then simply jump back on- don't give up... that's what I hope to do! That's what I'll keep telling myself. I will fight my way through this because I KNOW I CAN! If so many of you did it- then I KNOW I CAN TOO! I'm more determined then EVER! This is the year...