I am still here...

Well Ladies I am still around!! Just had to get done with all the school stuff!! Yeah… a month off!!! No brain activity for a whole month!! Woohoo!!!

        I am not able to enjoy the time off yet!! I have to get all the cleaning done first!! But I will soon!! I hope!!!

        I will be so happy when the holidays are over but I don’t want my vacation to be over though!! I am really just not feeling the whole holiday spirit this year. I just cant seem to muster up any spirit not an ounce!!

        I know I have gained weight! I have been a bad girl here lately!! I was doing so well and then I got sick and it all went down hill from there!! I cant keep the chocolate out of my mouth!! I swear its out to get to me!! I will beat it …I WILL!!!

        Well I am going to go to bed in a few so I can get up in the morning and get this house work all finished before the MOTHER gets here for the Holidays!! Good luck to you all!!

HEY EVERYBODY.....

I HAVE PICS!!! SCROLL DOWN AND LOOK AT MY NEW GRANDBABIES!!!!

QUICK NOTE!!

IM A GRANDMA!!!!!

WOOHOO!! WELL, SORTA ANYWAY…

My Chihuahua  Davey had her puppies last night!!! They are the cutest things ever!! She only had two…one brown and white and one black and white!!! I will post pics soon!!!

weekend update!!

Well, well, well,….what an interesting weekend!! I went out with Driven on Friday for a little while but had to leave and meet another friend (who I might add didn’t show) but I had other friends there so I partied with them. It was fun but I missed my man so much!! I ended up getting drunk and staying the night at my girlfriend’s house.

        But Saturday was a lot more fun. I had to work in the morning but I got to go shopping with Driven and found a couple really HOT shirts!! I spent the best part of the day shopping with her. By the time I got home I had to speed to get ready and go out to eat with my man. And then we had to meet at Drivens house before we went to Nites. Oh lordy, was Nites a test of my maturity!! The immature wenchs in that place tested me severely. I am so proud of myself for not beating the living hell out of twp of them. “L” kept messing with Driven and “L”s friend kept eyeing me all night!! Uuuugggghhhh….it took everything in me to not go over and drag her ass outside!! Well then it got worse….I asked “H” if we were still going to Starlight and his girlfriend “L” lost her freaking mind!!! She started screaming her head off and calling me every name she could think of!!Then her friend (the one who was eyeing me all night) comes over screaming “thanks for ruining my best friends boyfriends birthday” What the hell??? Is all I could say!! And then I looked at my man ..I suddenly forgot what was going on…he has sooo much love for me in his eyes it overwhelms me sometimes!! Damn I love him!!! But back to the events of the night!! I swear it wasn’t 2 minutes and that wench was back over to me and APOLOGIZING!!! Uuummm ok…can we say stupidity?!?!?! I am soo too old for that drama stuff!! I kind of felt bad for Norm and Driven…Driven left with us because we all thought it best and we were meeting at the same place. But then we get there and there is absolutely no parking and it was already after 1 am…my baby had had enough…he really didn’t want to go in and listen to more drama…and he really doesn’t like “the club scene” anyway!! And what he wanted to go do sounded soooo much better to me!! Ya!!! He loves me a lot!!! And the best thing is I love him too!!! Woohoo!!! I miss him soo much when we are apart!! But I get him this whole weekend coming up!!! I CANT WAIT!!!! A whole weekend with him!!! Three days and two nights!!! Wooohooo!! I am going to be some kind of HAPPY woman!!!!

Oh and by the way…the Sunday dinner was canceled!! She didn’t want to do it after all!! And to be honest I wasn’t going to go anyway!! And the update on her is she is leaving during Christmas break. She is going to go live with her parents. I hope so!! Im not holding my breath though!!

HELP!!!!!ANYBODY!!!

Hello Everyone!! I hope day wasn’t too hard on you guys!! I did pretty well. I didn’t stay on my diet but I didn’t over eat either. I probably shouldn’t have had the piece of cherry pie at 10pm but im not going to dwell on it!! It was really good and I enjoyed it. Its done and over and now I am back on track!! I wish I could weigh in and see if I am losing but we are not going to weigh in until next weekend. I think even maybe Monday because I will be out of town all weekend. I am soo looking forward to being away with my man…..speaking of… I am going to put this out there for any of you who want to give me your opinion… His soon to be ex-wife told him last night that she wants to stay in the house they have together. Which is fine I don’t have a problem with that…then she told him that she knows that I make him happy and she is ok with that. She told him that he could bring me home as long as she wasn’t home and he changed the sheets in the morning!! She just wants to make sure we all (me, my boys, him, his son) are all taken care off. She wants me to come over for dinner on Sunday. She wants to talk to me about all of this. She knows that her and Frank are not going to be together but she wants to make sure that we all are taken care of and happy. WHAT!!?? Has this woman absolutely lost her mind??? To me this sounds like she wants to stay married to him and keep me on the side!!! What the hell??? Is she trying to make herself out to be the “good girl” and weasel her way back in with him?? She said things like.. “Oh I support your happiness baby” “I know she makes you happy but I am here if you need me” BULLSHIT BITCH!!! The part that worries me is that I know she will do things that I am morally incapable of doing to get him to come to her. Sexual acts that I thought were just for the nasty movies!! NO!! There is nothing she wont try!! Hell, when she found out about me she asked him if they could share me!!!! HELL NO!!!! Am I wrong to be reacting like this??? Could she honestly just be concerned for the kids?? Do I dare go to their house for dinner on Sunday?? I mean if we got in a fight I am not worried…I can take her if I have too. And I know Frank would never let it get that far. But I don’t know how I am going to handle the conversation. I am going to be very uncomfortable and when I am uneasy I usually close up and not talk. I know I have to be able to talk to her. If I want to be in a relationship with him she is going to be there because they have a son together!! I just don’t know what to do!!! I love him so much!! I cant imagine what I will do if I lose him. I have never felt like this about anyone. Any advice is Greatly appreciated!!! ANYBODY?!?!? ANY ADVICE??  

ramble ramble...

Well, I am still on track! I just need to get the exercise fit in. I just don’t seem to have the time!! I know I am just going to have to make the time!! I want to look the best I can when I am with my man!! I know I know I am supposed to do this for me and my health. And I am …but I also want him to be proud of me too. He says he loves me the way I am but I know he wouldn’t mind me losing a little more too. I think its more that he knows I am not happy with the way I look yet!! And he knows I want to lose the weight really bad!! I do not want to be thin anymore…I just want to be in a 12-14. I will be happy when I can go buy a pair of jeans in the regular sizes!! I carry all my weight in my ass and it drives me nuts!!! I can go buy a stretchy medium shirt and it will fit. But my ass can’t fit in any thing smaller then a 16 women’s!!! It sucks!! I have put every ounce of my being into losing this weight. I know how to maintain the weight …I just have to get down to the weight I want to be!! Uuugggg!!! I hate that Thanksgiving Day is in a few days!! It is going to be soooo hard to not eat my ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL PIES!! All the rest of the food won’t bother me!! Just those damn pies!! I am going to seriously have to dig deep and pull out some serious will power!! Driven always loses faster then me and I think its wonderful that she does!! But I am also sort of using her…knowing that she loses faster then me motivates me to be good and not cheat!!(Love you, Jen!!) I have to give her a run for the sexy shirt!! Haha!! I am trying so hard not to get on the scale and check up on myself!! It’s really hard to not just step on that scale when I am getting in the shower in the morning!! I can hear it telling me too!! It quietly whispers…step on me…come on you can do it….just step on me! I actually kicked it this morning and told it too shut up!! You should have seen the look my son gave me!! Lol!! I am happy that we are doing this now however, because I have finals coming up fast and furious!! But since we started this now I should be set in my ways by then!! Hopefully!! Hey, Driven are we weighing in before our two weeks is up or are we going all the way through?? Let me know girlie!! Well, I am off to go check on some of you guys!! Gotta make sure you all are behaving!!   

weigh in

Well that sucked!!! I gained!! Oh well it’s a whole new game now!! 234lbs. is going to be a thing of the past real soon!! Driven you ready for this….the game begins!!! Two weeks we both better be down considerably!!! I have spent the day today working and cleaning the house. I am determined to get this weight off I am tired of maintaining in the 200’s!! I want out of the 200’s by Christmas!!! That is what I want for Christmas….199!!! I know that’s a lot to lose in a month and a half but I’m going to do my damndest to get as close as I can!!! I want to start the New Year in the 100’s and with my wonderful man to share it with!!! All right driven off we go!!!  Ready….set…lose baby girl!!!

Sunday sass!!

OK!! Driven….  The challenge begins in the morning!!! I am going to weigh in when I get up in the morning. Dillon is going to be my witness. And we are off for our two week challenge!! I am in great need for a new sexy shirt!! I have a man who loves cleavage!!! I am on my own for these two weeks…my trainer has a life and took them off for the holidays!! I unfortunately, don’t really have any exciting plans for the holiday sooo I will be focused on the challenge!!!

I behaved myself with the eating this weekend. But the drinking kicked my rear Friday night!! OOOOOhhhh mmmyyy….I was a goner!! Every one kept asking me what was wrong!! Or if my man left me?? They couldn’t believe that there wasn’t any thing wrong!! I just had a few too many jello shots!! I am the happiest I have ever been as far as my relationship with my man is concerned!! He is just sooo Wonderful too me!! I  cant believe he really is mine!! I keep thinking I am going to wazke up and it’s all a dream!! He just makes me sooo happy!!

He took me to Houston this Saturday to meet all his “family” of friends! WOW was that over whelming!! It atually wasn’t as bad as what I thought it was going to be because all the ex wifes friends weren’t there!! Thank goodness!! All his friends seem to like me. I know the one that he said meant the most to him likes me!! And that’s really cool !! He told him that he likes how happy I make him!! YEAH!! They were shocked at his different attitude!! It was funny to watch them try and figure out what was going on with my man!! It was about two hours after we got there that one really quiet guy off in the corner finally stood up and said (really loud ) “ oh shit I just figured out whats wrong ….Frank is happy!!” Yeah the was a long deafening silence and then the same guy said…”Im sorry dude, its been bugging the hell out of me. I couldn’t figure out what was different with you!!” Then everyone roared into laughter because that guy came over and shook my hand and said I must have some serious magical gifts to make him that happy!! Ya talk about embarrassing!! I hate to have the spotlight on me in a room full of men I do not know!! There was one other girl there but she snubbed me as soon as we walked in. I figured either a friend of the ex or very insecurity over her man…didn’t bother me much. I am just happy that the ones who matter like me!! I told him I cant wait to go again. I loved the way he glowed with happiness!! It was so cute!! I could tell he was in his element!! It was so wonderful to see him smile so much!!I really did hace a great time!! I hated to come back. But I missed my boys and I needed to come home and clean the house for Thanksgiving!! I don’t even know if my father is coming or not but I want the house clean so I can spend the day cooking and watching movies!!

Well, its getting really late and I have to get the boys up for school. I am sooo excited about our challenge Driven!! We are going to do REALLY well!! Lets go girl!!! We can do it!! We can do it!! We can do it!!

MONDAY MANIA!!

Well, it’s another sweet day in my new life!! I am slowly but surely catching up all my work in school. I missed almost a week of class because of pneumonia and laryngitis and it has been running me ragged since. I have one class left and I will be caught up in all!! And that one class I am only a day behind now!! YEAH!!

I find that the eating thing is much easier to do when you are truly loved the way you are. My sweet dear man loves me exactly as I am. It doesn’t matter to him one way or the other if I lose weight or not. He just wants me to be happy!!! So he supports me in my weight loss journey!! I have had no problems with my eating. Now on the exercising side….because of time limitations and school work I haven’t been getting in the exercise that I should be doing!! I am hoping to figure it in this week. My trainer friend is going to kill me if I don’t!!

We went to Drivens house for a garage party!! It was really fun!! I hope she does it again soon!! I wish our honeys would have gotten to talk some more but it was all new to my honey and we had plans for after the party with his brother. He was really anxious to see his brother. H e hasn’t been able to spend much time with his brother because of his soon to be ex-wife. She didn’t like him to spend too much time with his brother because they drink alcohol when they go out and sometimes hey get a little rowdy!! I figure, hey if he wants to go party with his brother, let’s go…and I will stay sober and drive you guys where ever you want to go and get rowdy!! That way he can spend time with his brother and I don’t have to worry about whose driving drunk!! I cannot wait to be able to show my man what life is really about!! I can’t wait to wake up in his arms every night and see his smile and loving eyes!! He just makes my heart melt!! I want him to see what happy really is!!

Well, its time to play mom!! The boys are home from school and of course they are starving!! I will try to write more later!! Best wishes to you all!!

Saturday morning..salsa n chips!

Well another day is gone!! I went out again last night and had fun! We had our friend Diana come out with us. Diana is in the school for the blind and she only gets too come home once every two or three weeks. She is a riot!! She is such a beautiful person!! I love her so much!!

I ran into my oldest son’s biological father….I don’t know what it is about that man that gets to me. I talked to him for a little while. He says he loves me still to this day. He really wants to get back together. He told me that I am the only one that gets too him. He says when I look at him he feels like I can see into his soul…..I can’t believe this man!!! I would have to be down right insane to let that man back into my life!! And last time I checked….I am quite sane!!! I tried to be nice and let him down easy. I don’t want there to be any bad vibes between us because of my son. I told him that I am in a wonderful relationship right now. And if I have my way I will be in this relationship the rest of my life. I told him how absolutely wonderful my man is and I would die if I lost him. I think he got it!! He wasn’t very happy after that!! Ooopss!! Did that hurt?? Not saying sorry because I am not!! This man ripped my heart out and pooped on it!! He deserves to hurt!!

I am hoping I get to go to Drivens lil garage party tonight. I want to have fun and spend time with Driven and my man. I am waiting for him to answer me. I think I will probably go whether he goes or not. I haven’t been able to spend a whole lot of time with Driven lately. So I think its about time!! We always have so much fun together. I really hope Frank will come with me. But he really has been tied up with his ex a lot here lately. So I don’t know if he will be able to get out. It sucks not being able to see him. But theres really nothing we can do right now. His ex is being a total BEOTCH!! And playing the “kid” card a lot right now. Oooo I gotta go to work!! Talk to you guys later!!