Ok, here we go again! I weighed in on Saturday and had lost 2 pounds. I was greatful for that 2 pounds. Felt really good. I should not have weighed in again until this saturday. I had a few sinful treats over my great 3 day weekend and the guilt was killing me so I just had to weigh. So I did on wednesday, and was blown away. over 5 pounds GAINED. I don't think that's even possible. When I say I was bad, I mean I drank a 5 o'clock somewhere @ Margaritaville, and eat a handful of nachos. I wasn't 5 pounds bad!! So last night I went to the gym, did over an hour of cardio then worked out my arms alittle. This morning I'm still up almost 4 pounds. I don't know why I do this to myself. By Saturday I may see a lose. I know it could be water, my salt intake, whatever. OK, whining session over......

Other than that, I am getting back to my gym routine now. I was missing alot with my mom still in the hospital, but I have realized I feel so much better when I work out and I need to be faithful with it. I have gotten a few compliments this week where people are noticing my weight loss. I've been noticing because of the way my clothes fit, or don't fit I should say. Overall I am happy with my progress. Since February 1st I've lost 21lbs. It was coming off at a about 2 lbs a week until March 18th when I started Phen, since then I've lost 9 lbs in a little over 2 weeks. It's been slow but steady progress and I have to remind myself of this when I start whining about weigh in (reference first paragraph). This is going to require time and dedication on my part and I am so fortunate to have this website and my friends on here to encourage me. Thank you EP!

Ok, I think I've figured out why the phen was making me feel like I was having anxiety. or at least the combination of things. My first few days on phen I couldn't eat at all. I'd eat a banana or a chicken breast, and could hardly choke that down. I started feeling worst every day and had zero energy. I know from taking it before I should have had energy. So as of yesterday, I started eating breakfast before I take my pill, a sandwich for lunch and then chicken breast for dinner. I am determined to get in at least my minimum calories no mater what.

 

AND, I must say if I had to name a drug of choice it would be coffee!! I love coffee. hot, cold, and any other kind of coffee. Well I've had to give it up. I make very strong coffee and I realized I was basically drinking 2 large cups of coffee every morning then taking my pill. No wonder I was spaced out. I haven't had coffee for 2 days and somehow I am still alive. I had already given up sodas all together anyway, so that was my last source of caffiene.

 

So the good result is that yesterday I felt 100% better, no sign of the caffiene/phen induced anxiety, and the proper energy levels as well. I even went to the gym. I didn't get to stay as long as I wanted, but not due to laziness but due to it being Tuesday night and biggest loser was coming on, and that is not negotionable. Today is good as well, so I'll keep on keeping on!

 

Now for the bad result of my foolishness. I gained back a little more than 2 pounds. I know my body was basically in starvation mode so now it is hording every calorie I take in. That's ok and I'm not gonna stress over it. I know I'm making good choices for my future and it will come back off. Maybe not as fast, but I know if I can perservere I'll make my goal. This is actually a good thing because I had started slacking a bit on working out and this has revived my knowledge of doing this the right way. I am not posting my weight gain on my tracker because I don't want that number starring me in the face everytime I'm on here. It's too much!!

 

 

what a nightmare! I was on my way home from work thinking I'd make salad and chicken breast for the family when my phone rings. I was running late getting home because I had stopped by the hospital to see my mom, so my husband and 12 yr old were starving. Keep in mind this is a normal state for them. They are eating machines! But unlike me, they are natural born athletes who couldn't hold an ounce of body fat in their hands if they wanted too! They can eat anything and everything! So....my husband says we'll just meet you in town at Chowtime. This is a buffet larger than life. Miles of bad food. I can't count calories like this!! Also I have had troulble eating since I've been on phen anyway. I don't want to waste the money for me. They don't have a regular menu to order from either. I said no honey really..you & Jake go. I'll be at home. He usually doesn't mind that but he said well you don't have to eat, just come with us. So I said ok. I called and they said they would sell me a cup of egg drop soup if I wanted. So we get there, the wait is about 30 minutes. The waiter comes and I said to my husband I'll just eat a little. So I go fix my plate. WHY??? I wasn't hungry. I did need to eat because the only thing I had had for lunch was a grilled chicken snack wrap which I could only eat half of. about 4 bites worth. So along the miles of food, there were things I could have eaten likes fresh fruit, some fresh veggies, sushi, salmon, etc. but did I put any of that on my plate? NO. I got 1 bbq pork rib, 4 shrimp in some kind of spicy sauce, and 4 hot wings with ranch dressing. WTH?? Then I ate a scoop of butter pecan ice cream to top it off. I am not upset over the quantity of food I ate. But the choices were horrible. This stuff was in my face and I caved in! I am so dissapointed in myself. I have to be making this a lifestyle change and right when I think I've gotten it straight in my head I do something like this. One day I will not have the phen suppresing my appetite and I will be standing in front of that bar hungry. My heavens, if i made these choices when I wasn't hungry, what would I have put on my plate had I been hungry?? and to top it off I sat there and looked around at people and was amazed. What is going on in our country with this eating thing. I seen at least three children at neighboring tables that were obese and the parents letting them go to the bar as many times as they like and get anything they wanted. This is so scary. I don't want to be a part of this epidemic. Nothing I can do about this now, just had to share. I will remember this next time I am faced with this situation. This all comes down to choices and the choices are up to me!!  BTW, words of wisdom from my fortune cookie....

 

If you always do what you've always done,

then you'll always get what you've always gotten.

 

Hope everyone has a great weekend

wow, what a week. My mother went to have an out patient surgery on Monday and had complications, ended up having a bypass and she's still in the hospital. Been busy at work which is a blessing, I AM NOT complaining, but it always happens when I'm mentally unprepared it seems. I had my appt with the diet dr and started phen wednesday. which was something I have waiting very impatiently for. Have had lots of family drama going on over the medical treatment of my mother yesterday and somehow I think the phen may have aggravated the situation only because I was so aggitated where as normally I am the voice of reason with my family. Then I really ahd a hard time emotionally dealing with the whole situaution. because i was yped up on the phen I don't know that my reactions were normal for me. I was really really upset and have had troubl e letting go of it. Anyway, speaking of letting go, let me focus on some good stuff.

alright, so i started taking phen on wednesday. I had a good workout that afternoon because I had good energy. Have not been hungry at all. have had to force myself to eat something. My doctor said to make sure I get at least 700 calories a day, so I'm trying to have at least that. this definately helps with the food choices though. I have ahd a slight headache every day, but I know this will pass. The day I went to the dr. was the first day of my period so by his scales  weighed 197. Well i had determined that i would continue to use my last weigh in weight to judge by at 192.6 because the difference was surely just from my period. This morning I weighed myself (yes I have fallen off the wagon on weighing myself weekly)  and my weight was 189.6. WTH? 3 pounds since wednesday? is that possible? If I were to go to the dr office right now and weigh by my chart there i would have lost 7 pounds! This can't be water weight, I take a water pill everyday and sweat my butt of at the gym. I have no water to lose. oh well, I'm happy about it anyway because I am now in the 180's. Yeah!

Finally went to the doctor to start my program. I told about the seminar which was a requirement to start this program that taught how to read food labels and labeled some foods the good, the bad and the ugly. So I had to have some test, which everything was ok. My thyroid function was in question, so I expressed my concern about that and he basically said I would not be losing weight if my thyroid was not working even though the loss has not been as much as I wanted. He said the same thing everybody else has about me building muscle so the number on the scale won't move when it is an "exchange." He bascially said keep working out because this will help me tone as I lose because with the phen, I will lose. He is confident that I'll reach my goal weight during the course of this program. My body fat was not as high as he thought it would be based on my weight. I got some sample menus to use, but I don't have to follow them exactly. Just keep the basic info in mind of limiting the refined sugar, salt and white breads. I have replenished the house with good food since the seminar so I should be set to go. I also got a pedometer to track my activity level everyday.I will go back in one month to weigh in again. I started my period today so the scale said I weighed 197. which kinda sucks just because now I'll be using my regular weight (that I log here) instead of the weight I'll have on my doctors chart. Anyway, I can't wait to start logging pounds!! I know myself and my battle with the scale so I am not even about to lie and say I'm not gonna be weighing myself more often than I should. I think I will weigh in on Mondays. I rarely have time to post on the weekends, so this may be better. We'll see:)

Ok, time to catch up. The family came and went. Great weekend and I was able to eat very good without ruining my progress. Alot of times spending time with family (at least our family) usually consist of eating great (bad) foods the whole time! But this time we switched it up a little. We live in Florida and we can get fresh seafood and fish anytime we want so we ended uo eating oysters and shrimp all weekend. This was great because we don't fry anything so all the shellfish are always good when cooked right. They live in Georgia and don't get to eat like that there so They loved it and said they are looking forward to the next time already.

They didn't get here until late friday night so I was able to make it to the gym Friday, then they left sunday early enough for us to get to go sunday evening so I only missed Saturday, but that's ok. I usually take at least one day off anyway. Monday I was sick. Skipped the gym....I hope I am not getting this flu that's going around. I already had it over the holidays so hopefully not!

Yesterday (Tuesday) I was back on schedule at the gym. My husband had asked me if I was getting sore anymore and I said no so he said I need to change up my workout a bit. Also I noticed I don't hardly breathe hard on the elliptical anymore so I am going to rotate the elliptical at a harder pace for 30 min, with the treadmill walking fast with some running burst for 45 min. so I can not get stuck in a rut. I always follow this up with strength training, which I increase as needed.

I'm eating good. I keep my calorie count the best I can, but mostly I am just making better choices. I don't eat sweets or fried foods and very little bread. I am staying in the range I need to for the most part.

In 8 days I go to the weight loss doctor to start my program. This saturday I go to the doctors conference. This is suppose to teach us common diet myths, read food labels, etc. I look forward to passing on any info I get. I am so excited! I am doing this with my boss and she is excited to. This program has been very successful in my area so I'll soon find out if it will work for me:) wish me luck!

Ok, I'm done whining about how slow my weight is coming off!! It's coming off and that is what I should focus on. I'm going to play with my calories and try tracking them again. That's only hard for me because od the time restraints and remember my problem with consistency....

Last night after my workout which was good, I had to go by the grocery to pick up my Mom's prescription, so I thought I'd pick something up for supper at home that was fast and healthy. My husband and 12 year old son have karate on Tues & Thurs. so they get home around 9. So I get a rotisserie chicken and corn on the cob. Well after eating a special k bar for breakfast, and a salad and banama for lunch...I was craving carbs like crazy. So i got hawaiin rolls to snack on on my way home. (BAD BAD BAD) at least they were wheat...but I really couldn't stop myself. The craving was terrible. when I got home i ate a handfull portion of the chicken and that's all after the guilt from the bread. I didn't blow my calories because I was way under anyway at that point but still I totally lost control on that one. I should say I COULD live off of bread. I have always loved bread of any kind.My mother jokes and says when I was small she couldn't make it home from the grocery store with a loaf of bread without giving me some. It was better than candy to me and still is.

Also when I was working out yesterday, I started realizing I was struggling more than usual. I did up the level on the elliptical but man I was strggling more than I think normal. I was just weak for some reason and I think that contributed to my NEED for carbs....does that make any sense or am I making excuses??

anyway,

I have surprise family coming in for the second weekend in a row. I say surprise because last weekend they just showed up. this weekend we found out last night they will be here today. A little background is need here to explain why I am so stressed about it. I work a full time job and since I have started this journey to get healthy again I now leave my job at 5 and go to the gym and usually get home around 7:30 or 8. some of this is drive time because we live in a rural area. the thing is I explained to my family (husband, 12 year old son, and 21 year old daughter) that this is something I have to do and help around the house is needed because this afternoon time is usually time I spend taking care of them and the house. Well although everyone agreed noboby has followed through. So our house has been a mess. I get mad about it when I come in and see it, but I'm sure they expect me to do that and eventually clean it up because I usually do. Most of the ladies will understand that there is clean like you keep the house and then there is clean when company is coming. Well mine is barely the regular clean at this point. All i can say is oh well. My husbands parents and grandmother will be here this afternoon and he gets off work hours before me so hopefully he'll get some of it done before they get here. I'll be at work and then at the gym:) and I forgot to mention my bedroom has been half painted for 2 weeks now.......