First, today’s weight is 328.2.Isn’t that just amazing?That makes 27 pounds gone in just 23 days.I can’t believe it!I have decided to set myself some long-term goals so I have something that I am working towards instead of just kind of following along.At this point, I want to get down to 150 pounds in the next 18 months.That may change as I get closer – when I got down to 152 before, my mom thought I looked unhealthy and my friends ran an intervention on me because they were afraid I was anorexic.We’ll see….
Fitday.com says that in order to reach 150 by 10/03/08 (18 months post-op), I need to lose 2.39 pounds per week.I think that sounds reasonable!ObesityHelp.com says that my ideal weight is 142 (HAH!) and if the surgery helps me lose 80% of my excess weight, I will lose 172 from my starting weight which will get me down to 185.According to UC Davis, bariatric patients lose 60 – 80% of their excess weight on average so I think 80% is realistic.ObesityHelp.com says that bariatric patients typically lose the weight over 12 – 15 months.Looking at their figures and guessing at my own, here are my monthly goals:
DateWeight# Lost
05/03/0732530
06/03/0729560
07/03/0727085
08/03/0726194
09/03/07253102
10/03/07244111
11/03/07236119
12/03/07228127
01/03/08219136
02/03/08209146
03/03/08202153
04/03/08194161
05/03/08188167
06/03/08182173
07/03/08176179
08/03/08170185
09/03/08164191
10/03/08156197
11/03/08150203
The first month’s goal has me a bit nervous already – to meet it, I need to lose 7 pounds in 7 days.I know that is about what I have been doing, but I don’t want to count on it.
Next month’s goal is huge.I can’t remember the last time I weighed below 300 pounds!I will be so excited to get there only 2 months after surgery!
I am having a hard time getting all of my protein and liquids in right now.I have never been good about it before and now that I am tracking it, I see how bad I really am!I have decided not to go back to work yet – I think I am going to take the whole 6 weeks.It will be really hard financially but I don’t want to go back until I have established the good habits that I need.If I can’t take care of things when I am at home with minimal distractions, how badly could I screw everything up at work?
Well, I am off to hit the treadmill.I am up to about 22 minutes per session – I am on my way!
Well, I am officially on the next phase of the diet. I can have refried beans, small curd cottage cheese, pureed meats, mashed potatoes, cooked and mashed vegetables and some other mushy stuff. Most of my diet is still liquid, it seems! It is so weird. I don't get hungry very often now - once a day at the most. Most of the time, I eat because I know I am supposed to. I have not really had a "full" feeling. What I have gotten instead is a feeling of pressure in my chest. It doesn't feel anything like feeling full used to! It's still hard to recognize that as my body saying, "I'm good. That's enough now!"
My concern about my pouch being too big or already stretched out is still there. I read something in Susan Maria Leach's book that makes sense about that issue. She says that it is impossible to stretch your pouch out on liquids. As you put it in, it is trickling out into your intestines, etc. If you drink fast enough to fill your pouch with liquids, you will throw it back up. She says it's like a sink drain. If you pour fluids down the drain in a slow, steady pace the drain continues to work with no problem. If you pour in liquids too fast, the drain can't handle it and the sink backs up. She also says that the full feeling will become a lot more apparent when I am eating more solid foods. For now, everything I am eating is soft and squishy so it is not producing the same feeling as if I was eating meat or something.
UC Davis seems to have its patients follow a very strict diet. Some of the other post-op diets that I have seen online are a lot more lenient and have one less stage. I am working very hard on following the one that I was given. It's really hard, though! Some of the differentiations that UC Davis makes between stages don't seem to make any sense to me. I can have soft (pureed/blenderized) foods now but I can't have eggs or hot cereal for another two weeks. I can have mashed potatoes but not oatmeal? I don't get it. I am really struggling with that part. The food is so restrictive that I want to just skip to the next level and start adding stuff in. I know that's part of where my hunger comes from, too - I don't feel like I'm eating real food so I'm hungry. Oh, well - nobody said this was going to be easy!
Today's weight is 331.0. It still doesn't seem real! I am going to stop weighing myself every day. I have had a couple of days where the scale didn't move for a day or two and then there was a big drop. Boy, was I stressed for those couple of days! It is early enough that I need to not be freaking out about that. I am dropping weight at an astounding weight and I need to focus on that!
Today's weight is 333.9. How is that even possible?!?!?!? The numbers just don't seem real to me. Last night I got to sleep on my left side (where they do most of the work) for a cople of hours. I'm a little sore from it this morning but nothing that I can't handle. I am also a pain med-free zone. For the past few days I have not needed it at all during the day but I have taken 1/2 a dose at night since that is when I hurt. Last night, none. Today, I am good to go!
In some ways it takes your mind a while to catch up with what your new way of life is while in other ways it almost seems to beat you there. Yesterday, I had my highest calorie day since surgery. I had 625 calories. On one hand, my instinct is saying, "625? WTF? AHHHHHH! I'm dying! I'm starving! I don't care that I'm not hungry - I gotta eat NOW!" My rational mind is saying, "Most people at this stage average between 400 - 600 calories a day. Average means some are higher and some are lower. Just be careful and don't spend all your time at the 600 mark - you're fine." Of course, there is also a part of me that is wondering what in the hell I am doing monitoring my calories at this point. That old dieting mentality sure leapt back into play quickly!
I have also been feeling like maybe my pouch got left too big or maybe I have already stretched it out. From all of the research I have done, these seem to be normal thoughts and concerns. I am having no problem with anything. I have kept everything down and have no problem drinking an ounce of flid about every 5 minutes. I have to remind myself to slow down!
I am taking my measurements on Tuesday morning. I figure 2 weeks post-op is a good time to do that. I am going to have a hard time seeing changes in the way my clothes fit me. I have been so big for so long that everything I own is elastic. I know that eventually those will fall off, too, but it maeks it harder to see an immediate change. The one place that my husband and my mom both have commented on as showing a change is in my face. I am developing a jawline and I have hollows under my cheekbones suddenly. Pretty slick!
Easter this year was absolutely no problem for me. It was so soon after surgery that we didn't go to the family's for dinner. I haven't been into the grocery store for a while (I was following a 1200 calorie a day diet before surgery so I avoided the temptations of the store) so I didn't even see Easter candy. Honestly, I didn't even miss it! I'm glad I've had my surgery this early in the year. This means that I have plenty of time to prepare myself for the holidays. I'll be well established on my regular diet by then and will have lost a major amount of weight. That should help me through them.
I have been having hunger pangs already. According to my surgery clinic, most people do not experience feelings of hunger for the first two months or so. Of course, I seem to be a prodigy!
I am still excited about my weight loss. Today I weigh 336.6 - I can't believe it! What is that - 12.7 pounds in 11 days? I'll take it!
I can't believe how much better I feel without the external staples. I still get some sharp pains at a couple of the incision sites but overall, it is nothing that I can't handle. The only pain meds I took yesterday were at bed time. Today, I am planning on not even taking those.
I'm thinking about starting work earlier than 6 weeks out. If I continue feeling the way I am now, there is no reason I shouldn't! My doctor and I are looking at having me start working from home after another week off. I can't believe it!
The worst part now is that I can't sleep on my left side and that is how I usually sleep. Soon enough....
I have to be more careful about getting in my recommended protein. I'm coming in a bit short and that's not a good way to start. It will be easier to get in when I am able to eat - I can have meat and that's where I'll get most of it. Otherwise, I'm working on fat free milk and I found some tasty protein water (Stacker 2 - 19.44oz bottle has 20g of protein). It's not cheap though - $1.00 or $1.25 per bottle so I only drink one per day.
What's amazing to think about is the fact that I am surviving on less than 600 calories per day. No wonder I'm dropping weight like I am!
Anyway, that's about it for today. Have a great day!
This has been a really good day so far! I got a pretty good night's sleep, I woke up with minimal pain, I have had 2 friends come to visit, I took a shower and I have not had any really major pains. I'm pretty darn pleased with how this day has gone! Also, I have FANTASTIC news - today's weight is 339.1 pounds!!!!! That is a 10.2 pound loss since the morning of surgery!!!!! If I didn't think I'd pop my staples, I'd be doing the happy dance right now!
What I find really interesting is that I am hungry. I thought that wasn't supposed to happen for a couple of months post-op. Great - that is so not the way I want to be a prodigy! I notice that my hunger abates with some water or some milk but I am getting desperate for some food. It has been 10 days since I have had anything solid. Other than my chewable Centrum vitamin, that is! Little note on the side - I still find it hysterical that a Centrum takes me 4 bites....
I am so hoping that when I go to the doctor tomorrow they will put me on the next phase of the diet. I will get to have some food! The phase that I am on they say should last for two weeks after surgery. I hope that is a suggestion, not what is required for allowing the staples inside to heal!
Another sign of healing - my incisions are starting to itch. I have had no problems with infections or anything like that from all of them so I'm happy. I freaked out a bit last night because one of them looked like it had some pus in it but it's a weird wound. When they pulled out my drain, they did not close the hole with a butterfly bandage. As a result, I have a 3/16" deep hole that is gradually filling itself in. It looks like that will be the worst scar I am going to have - not too shabby!
The internal gas is gone. That helped a lot with the pain. I can already see a difference in my face along my jawline and my double chin has become a chin and three quarters. I am also already noticing physical improvements. I have had bursitis in both of my achilles tendons for about a year now. It has made walking extremely painful! I have had to wear shoes with a minimum of 1" heel or I am limping something fierce the next day. Well, I have been walking around the house wearing fuzzy slippers with no heel for a week now - with no pain! I am so excited about seeing what other wonderful changes this surgery is going to make on my body!
I am doing 15 minutes at 1 1/2 - 2 mph on the treadmill every other day. I'm not quite ready to do every day yet - when I did 2 days back to back, I was pretty hosed the following day.
Ouch. Owie. Moan, groan. That hurts. Ok - enough of that! The good news: today's weight is 344.0 pounds.
So here's the blow-by-blow of the past few days:
Since my surgery was at noon on 4/3, the hospital wanted me there at 9:00am. I drove in and my husband came with me. We locked the car and headed toward the elevator. He suddenly reached out, took my hand and started singing "Happy Birthday to You". Isn't that sweet?
We got me down to admitting and checked me in. That was the most expensive part of this whole thing - my insurance requires a $250 deductible for hospital admissions. We waited about 1/2 hour and then they sent me into a pre-op room. I put on the gown and climbed on the bed. Roger got to stay with me until they came to take me up to the surgery suite. We hung out and talked - just being together. A nurse came in to measure all of my vitals and give me an injection of Lovenox (a blood thinner supposed to be injected into the fat around the abdomen). In case anyone reading this has to do Lovenox injections, let me give a some advice. Make sure the person administering the injection squeezes at least an inch of fat to shoot into. Otherwise, it hurts like hell. The nurse didn't and I about came straight up off the bed for her throat. Roger saw the look on my face and came around and gave me his hand to squeeze. He's lucky I didn't snap a couple of bones! Fortunately, that was the worst.
When I went up to surgery, I met one of the surgical nurses and two anesthesiologists. They were trying to draw some blood for a cross and type, but I was so dehydrated that it took 4 or 5 attempts. They finally got it, injected something to relax me and I was taken in for the surgery. I remember being asked to slide over to the other table for the operation. That's all I remember until the recovery room.
Coming out of the anesthetic, I remember being totally nauseous. They must have given me 4 or 5 different injections to fight it. One thing I learned that worked really well - sniff rubbing alcohol. When I was feeling really sick, one of the recovery room nurses held an alcohol pad close to my nose and the nausea vanished instantly.
I ended up being in the recovery room for about 6 hours. During surgery, I developed a leak. Fortunately, they were able to fix it right then and there. In the recovery room, my blod pressure shot up to 170/125 and they couldn't lower it. They won't release you from recovery until you are stabilized so I was there for quite a while. Finally, they sent me to my room at about 9:00pm.
That first night, I got almost no sleep. I was uncomfortable, my back was hurting and so help me there was a nurse in the room every hour or so.
The next day, I was up and walking. Not much and not far, but I was moblie! I was going insane because I wanted water so bad I was crying. I was so dehyrdated that my throat and soft palate hurt really bad. I actually had a resident come in at 6:00am and tell me that they would be doing rounds and in to see me at 6:30am or 7:00am. So much for sleep again! I had three visits that morning from residents and doctors all of whom had contradictory information about whether I could drink. At 10:30am or so, I was taken for an upper Gi to make sure there were no further leaks. They don't do that for everyone, only if there is a reason (like a leak during surgery). It wasn't until noon that I got my first ounce of ice water. I was so happy to see it that I cried. After that first cup, I was a drinking fool. They told me that I had to be able to tolerate 16 oz of fluid with no pain, nausea or additional bloating before I could go home. I had those 16 oz down by 4:00pm - I wanted to go home! No problems with drinking or tolerating anything here!
I left the hospital at about 7:00pm and let me tell you - the ride home was murder! Poor Roger was creeping along being so careful on his turns and accelerations and all I could do was whimper and moan.
Since I've been home, I am working on getting a minimum of 48 oz of fluid in and getting some walking done. Our driveway has a fairly sharp downhill slope so I am sticking to my treadmill. I am going slowly and carefully - about 1mph for 5 minutes a few times a day. I am increasing that as I can. I have only had one issue with liquids and that was becasue I drank too fast. Lesson to me: PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT I AM PUTTING IN MY MOUTH! I didn't throw it back up, it is more like regurgitation. The last mouthful that too much is exactly what came right back. There was no stomach acid or other gunk - it was water and pain meds and that was it.
I am already learning the importance of staying properly hydrated. if I am not getting enough fluid in, my saliva gets really foamy and it is a very unpleasant feeling when that accumulates in my pouch. I am seeing that if I keep enough fluid in me, that doesn't happen.
I am tired all the time right now. I know that is because I have put my body through hell, I am not eating any food and I have not yet slept through the night. I'm hoping that by adding in my multi-vitamin I'll be getting some energy, too. Speaking of which, I just took my first one since surgery and it took me 5 bites to get the whole thing down. Not the most pleasant way to go but hey - whatever works!
I'm being totally low-key. I'm not talking to people too much, I told people to call me next week about visiting and I'm hanging out watching movies with my husband. I'm just focusing on healing.
The one thing I didn't know about was the gas they fillyour stomach cavity with. They do that so your organs are separated and they can work better. Unfortunately, the gas stays in your belly for two to three weeks, I hear. I look like I've swallowed a dang basketball! My stomach is totally distended and it's a little hard to carry around. Oh, well - what's two weeks compared to a lifetime?
... and all through the house we were all wide awake. Waiting. Hungry. Ok, the dog and I are hungry.
There is nothing new to report today and that almost seems weird. I feel like there should be some kind of ... something! I'll settle for a fanfare, a huge billboard, flashing neon lights - you know, something low-key and tasteful.
Today was an interesting day in its very normality. I worked a half day and got hugs and good wishes from my coworkers, spent the afternoon with my mom, came home and spent the evening with my DH in front of the tube watching Forrest Gump. My entire life is about to change and I'm sitting here typing away on the computer and watching a movie. It just feels strange, you know?
Today I had to take 2 doses of laxatives and let me tell you - I am still gagging at the thought of them! I had to take 2 - 2oz doses of a sodium based laxative that they said was ginger lemon flavored. Ever tasted lemon-flavored salt? It was so vile that I honestly couldn't get the second half of the second dose down. I would have thrown it right back up and that would have defeated the purpose. I'm sure it will be fine, though.
Surgery time is 12:00pm tomorrow. High noon. I like the symbolism - me and my old way of life having a shootout in the OK Corral....
Well, I am going to get a backrub from my DH and go to bed where I will pretend to sleep. I will get up tomorrow at 6:30am and meditate, pack up my robe, slippers and toothbrush and go to get (re)born.
You won't hear from me for the next few days. Since my surgery is so late in the day, I don't know if I'll be home Weds. or Thurs. I'll check in as soon as I can sit upright long enough to type!
I have been incredibly fortunate in getting ready for surgery. Things have gone so smoothly and so well! They have also gone really fast.
I originally talked to my doctor about having surgery towards the end of January 2007. I got my intake questionnaires from the UC Davis Bariatrics Clinic on Saturday, Jan. 27 and mailed them back the same day. My husband and I went to the orientation on Weds., Feb.7 and my surgery date is Tuesday, April 3. I have never heard of anyone getting through everything that fast!
A huge amount of my getting everything done so quicly has been because of my work. I work for an amazing company! Everyone has told me that I can have whatever time I need to go take the gazillion tests. They have also repeatedly told me that there is nothing more important than my health - and they mean it! They are fine with me being off for 6 weeks to recover and I have taken a total of around 40 hours for appointments to date. Have I mentioned that I have only been working for them since Oct. 16, 2006? I'm still in shock from discovering that yes, there are companies out there like this....
Ok, back to WLS stuff. I have had more tests in the past 6 weeks than I have had in my entire life. These are the tests that were specified for me:
Chest xray
EKG
Bloodwork (including lipids levels, hemoglobin A1C and H. Pylori)
Nutrition class
ECG
Abdominal ultrasound
Psychiatric evaluation
Sleep study (I had 2)
History/physical with my primary care physician
Arterial blood gas
Pap smear/breast exam
Follow-up nutrition including a quiz
I'm happy to report that everything came out just fine. There was some concern over my heart valves since I am a former Phen/Fen user but I passed everything with flying colors. Except for the obesity and its comorbidities (I hate that word), I am the picture of health.
My insurance has been absolutely no problem. I have not even had to talk to them! The UC Davis Bariatric Clinic has handled everything - letters to my primary care physician, letters to the insurance company, phone calls trying to get test results, etc. All I've had to do is set the appointments and show up!
After the sleep study, it was determined that I have apnea and need a CPAP machine. It's not so bad but it hurts my nose. The mask part (I am using the nasal pillows one - I look like I'm going snorkeling!) starts out fitting fine but I somehow manage to end up with it squishing up against the base of my nose so I take it off at around 2 or 3 every morning. I have to figure something out about that....
Wednesday I had my pre-op appointment. They told us that another patient had coded in the hospital on Tuesday. They were able to revive her but it took a lot of work. She was having her mother push the button on the PCA (patient controlled analgesic, self-administered pain meds) and she did not have her CPAP. Morphine is a respiratory suppressant so.... Yeah, it freaked me out. Even though I am not going to be having anybody else administer my pain meds and I am dragging the CPAP along with me, it's still scary.
According to my surgeon, I am going to be able to have the surgery laparascopically. I sure hope so! It beats the heck out of being butterflied like a shrimp! If they end up converting it to open, I won't be thrilled. Whatever is meant to happen is going to happen, though. I will be fine whichever way it goes. With laparascopic surgery, I am hopefully going to be coming home on Weds. evening. Before I can leave the hospital, I have to be able to drink 4 oz of liquid in an hour without pain, distension or throwing up.
I will be up and walking the evening after surgery. That part scares me. I've had abdominal surgery before so I know how it feels have your internal organs moved around and the muscles cut. It is NOT pleasant!
My husband and my parents-in-law are going to be at the hospital. I'm sure that I am going to be just a radiant ball of sunshine when they first see me! I told my mom that she didn't need to be there- I am going to be drugged and cranky. I'd rather see her when I get home.
Today is 2 days before surgery and I am on clear liquids. I will be drinking apple juice, Crystal Light, water and broth until I go to the hospital. Of course, after that I will be doing the same thing without the fruit juice. I'll start on protein-based liquids when I come home.
I found out at the pre-op appointment that after surgery I will be giving myself blood thinner - 2 injections a day for 7 days. That should be loads of fun, too. I have to do them in my waist - the love handle area. One more thing to look forward to!
When I get them, I will post my before pictures. My husband is going to take them the night before I go for surgery. One of my friends who is 3 or 4 years post-op suggested that I keep the exact outfit that I am wearing in the befores and use it for each of my afters. Wow, I'm going to have afters!!!!
OK, that's about all I've got for now. I will continue posting as all of the new and excting things relating to my new life develop. If anybody reading this has any questions, I will be happy to answer them as best I can. Post them as comments and I'll get back to you as quickly as I can.
Hi there! I guess I should start with a little background:
I am 37 years old and have been married to the most wonderful man for 9 years now. We have a dog and 2 cats. I work in forensic accounting and am working on my MBA through University of Phoenix. I also have a small business and am working on establishing another one with my husband. I love Scottish culture, reading, playing the piano and foreign languages. I have been overweight since I was a teenager. Puberty hit and that was the end of my life as an average sized person (thank you, PCOS!). I remember weighing 147 in junior high and it just went up from there. At 20, I weighed 204. When I was 21, I managed to get down to 152 - I was teaching 7 hour-long high impact aerobics classes and running 10 miles every week. I got injured, broke the exercise habit and started gaining again. Today, I weigh 355.2 and have most of the health issues that go with it: elevated blood pressure, borderline diabetes, back pain, knee pain, asthma, apnea, nerve pain in my outer thighs, swelling of my feet and ankles - all of which bring me to the decision I made to have weight loss surgery (WLS).
Between the PCOS (poly-cystic ovarian syndrome - for info, go here: http://www.4woman.gov/faq/pcos.htm or here: http://www.pcosupport.org/) and all of the physical and emotional issues that come with being this big, I have come to the conclusion that my best chance for successful weight loss is going to be through the RNY gastric bypass surgery.
Before I got to this point, I have tried practically every diet known to man. I'm not going to get into listing them all because we'd be here for days! All I will say about them is that to a point, they all worked (some better than others). Some would help me lose a good amount of weight but the diet wasn't sustainable (how many people did the cabbage diet?). Some made absolutely no difference - I neither gained not lost on them. So, here I am - surgery bound. There's more to it than that, though....
I'm tired of being defined by my weight! My weight dictates everything - what I can do, where I can go, how people perceive me, how I feel - everything! I'm tired of being ignored in public. I'm tired of stressing over the fact that my company takes us on a fabulous annual trip and I'm not really looking forward to it because I'm too busy wondering how to point out that I will need 2 seats on the airplane. My brother-in-law and his wife were here from Germany and I was glad I had to work because there was absolutely no way I could have kept up with them on a trip to Monterey. ENOUGH! There is more to life than this and I am too young to feel this old!
So there you have it - me in a nutshell. I'm going to start writing about my surgical stuff in my next post - I don't want to overwhelm anyone with a mile-long post!
Also, I have FANTASTIC news - today's weight is 339.1 pounds!!!!! That is a 10.2 pound loss since the morning of surgery!!!!! If I didn't think I'd pop my staples, I'd be doing the happy dance right now!
I have never heard of anyone getting through everything that fast!