I have returned....
Well, I needed to let some things go in my life to get through what turned out to be a really stressful and unhappy period. Unfortunately, blogging was one of the things that I dropped. I'm going to try and pick it back up again. Sorry about abandoning you all!
I have made a few significant changes in my life since my last posts. I have put my MBA on hold. I have been a full time student for over 4 years while working full time and I just can't stand the thought of going through another class. I am hoping for a hiatus until after the first of the year - we'll see if they approve it. Since I am on student loans, I may not get it. To tell you the truth, I really don't care! If I only get a few weeks and then I have to start again, so be it. I'll take what I can get!
Another change is that I have decided to become a CMT (certified massage therapist). i know that it is still school but it is totally different than what I have been taking (accounting) and it is something that I really want to do instead of something that I know I should do because it will be lucrative. Class for CMT starts around the middle of this month and I will be certified by Christmas. I am very into holistic health and alternative medicine so this is a great thing for me. I am really excited about it! I really love the idea of making money by making people feel good (and not in an illegal or icky way!! 
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I am still moving ahead on getting the business started. Just yesterday I finally got the last piece that I needed to go apply at Social Security. I will be doing that tomorrow. Wish me luck! After all of this time, I might be able to start my business officially next month!
I am really working on making my peace with my weight loss. As usual, I am not satisfied with the rate that I am losing at. I'm convinced that I should have been able to do this well without surgery, I'm screwing up, blah blah blah blah. What I have finally come to realize is that (for me) the surgery is definitely helping me lose weight but I still have the metabolic resistance. Surgery redid my insides, not my chemistry or whatever. I am concentrating on enjoying the weight I have lost and not worrying about the weight I haven't lost. Anyway, if I could have done this without the surgery, then I would have!
As of today, I am 85 pounds down from my highest weight. 85 pounds in 5 months is pretty darn great! I am hoping to lose another 15 by the time we go on our company trip October 4. I can't wait to reach the 100 pound mark! also, I would really love to hit 100 pounds lost by the time I go for my 6 month follow-up on October 1. I'll tell you what, though - if the nutritionist tells me again that I am losing really slowly I am going to speak up and tell her how incredibly disheartening that is to hear and that I really don't need to be told that. There is no reason for me to just quietly accept that and continue to feel like a failure.
I'm starting to get into some of the mental changes that go with this surgery. I am noticing that I am being ignored a lot less out in public and that people are nicer to me. I have people making eye contact with me now, not glancing at me and then glancing away like obesity is contagious or something. You know what the hard part is about that? I find myself getting mad about it. I haven't changed on the inside. I am still me, just in a smaller package. I am no nicer or funnier or smarter than I was 5 months ago but people are just now noticing that I have these qualities. Lemme tellya - there's A LOT of mental stuff that goes hand in hand with weight loss. How many of you who have lost enough weight for it to be a noticable difference have experienced this? how do you deal with it?
I am off to check in with my friends that I have missed here on EP. I can't wait to catch up with all of you! Take care of yourselves and enjoy your day!