My slow and simple plan for 2010

This year I am going to take a different approach to weight loss.  The plan is to make gradual changes and slowly (but surely!) shape my lifestyle into a healthy one that fits my specific needs.  Since I am not currently following a diet or exercise program, I need to set a baseline for myself to start with.  I'm going to start by stating my goal very specifically so I know what I'm aiming for with my weekly changes.  My final goal is to workout 5 days a week and eat a healthy diet every day.  My healthy diet will fall in the 1500 calorie range and consist mostly of whole grains and lean protein and contain at least 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day.  With this final goal in mind I will set gradual, weekly changes until I have met my goal.  I'm going to trust that the weight will come of gradually along with the changes I make in my lifestyle. 

For my first week (starting on Monday) I am going to work on establishing a steady baseline for me to work up from.  I'm going to work out 3 days a week, 30 minutes of cardio a day.  I'm not going to make any changes in my diet for the first week because I know myself well enough to know I will feel overwhelmed starting everything at once.  I plan on working out Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings with my husband.     

This year's mantra is "It's not about the numbers on the scale.  It's about following a healthy lifestyle and feeling good about myself!"  I'm going to repeat that mantra every time I feel discouraged about my weight.  In fact, I think I'm just going to throw the scale in a closet somewhere and only take it out once a month to monitor my progress.  I'm going to focus on the positive changes I'm making and not how quickly the changes are working on the scale.      

I need some advice...

A very close friend of mine and my husbands is very overweight.  He weighs well over 300 pounds... I'm guessing somewhere around 340-350.  He's always been a big guy but here recently he has been eating exorbitant amounts of food.  For example, he purchased a gallon of ice cream and finished it in about an hour on his own.  A full gallon- the whole bucket- gone in one setting.  Last night we had him over for dinner.  We ordered 2 pizzas.  My husband and I each had 3 slices (I know that's bad of us ) and our friend ate the rest of both pizzas.  We did the math and it equaled up to him eating 10 whole slices of pizza, plus he had cheese sticks and several glasses of soda along with it.  A few weeks ago he told me that he bought a package of candy bars.  You know how you can get a package of 6 full size candy bars at the store?  Anyway, he bought one of those because he "was upset about something at work" and he told me that he ate the entire package during his drive home from the grocery store.  In case you are wondering, he lives less than 5 minutes from the store.  My husband and I have discussed among ourselves how worried we are about our friend, but we both decided that since we are overweight, too, it would be really rude and hypocritical if we said anything to him.  We don't want to hurt his feelings or make him angry at us.  The problem is that other people aren't as considerate of our friend's feelings.  Tonight we got a phone call from him telling us about his day at work.  Apparently his coworkers (many of which tease him about his weight on a regular basis) went in together and and bought him a Wii Fit game.  They gave it to him in front of everyone there (he works at a restaurant) and told him that they were tired of him being fat and they wanted him to do something about it.  They told him that they figured if exercise was in the form of a video game he might try it (our friend is kind of an electronics geek- I say that with love, I promise!).  They claim to mean well by this gesture but the approach they took really hurt his feelings.  The problem is that it has just made things worse for him.  Now he is embarrassed around his coworkers and he is eating even more because he feels badly.  We want to help him but we don't want to make things worse for him.  What should we do?            

Goodbye to 2009, Welcome 2010!

I’m not a perfect person.  There are many things I wish I didn’t do.  But I continue learning… -Hoobastank

I’ve learned a lot in 2009.  Most importantly, I’ve learned that I’m not perfect, and that’s okay.  I have a long journey ahead of me in 2010, and I know I will be learning even more about myself and life along that journey.  I’ve also learned that regret is a waste of time, and we have so precious little time to start with that none of it is worth wasting.  I’ve struggled with starting the journey to a healthier lifestyle in 2009, but I can’t give up.  In 2010, I have one goal; to lose weight.  This is not just my typical New Year’s Resolution to fit into smaller jeans.  I have to lose weight for my health.  I can’t afford to fail this time.  It puts a lot of stress on me to know that, but it’s better to be honest with myself than to live with delusions, something else I learned in 2009.  I was living under the delusion that my health was good despite being overweight, even though the signs and symptoms were there all along- I was just ignoring them.  Ignoring a problem is never a good thing to do.  Tackling them head on is the only way you will ever find a solution.  In 2010, I will remember to do just that; tackle any problems that may arise head on.  I have high hopes for 2010.  I feel that 2009 was a year of learning for me.  Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can make things better, and that seems to be what happened to me in 2009.  Things can get better from here, but only if I make them better.  It’s going to be a lot of work and take some time and effort, but anything worth having is worth working hard for.  And health and happiness are both worth having.  Happy New Year to all of you!      

I don't want to talk about it.

I may not want to talk about it but I guess I'm going to, anyway.  I had a bad weekend and just like that- boom- 2 pounds flew right back on my butt.  It infuriates me that it takes 2 weeks to lose one stinking pound but in 2 days I can gain 2!    Sometimes I just hate how my body works.  But enough of that.  I just need to get re-focused and right back on track.  Some positive things did come from this weekend.  I got my Christmas shopping done and we are officially ready for the holidays!  I got started on my new hormone meds that will hopefully lead to a pregnancy 6 or so months down the road.  I have to remember that the hormonal changes taking place in my body right now might be to blame for the not so great numbers on the scale.  Last week I had stopped my old meds and this week I am just starting some new ones so my body might be in a kind of hormonal limbo right now.  I need to have some patience!  If you have any to spare, please send it my way...

Depressed

My weight hasn't moved AT ALL for 2 weeks.  Last night I wasn't feeling very good so I skipped supper and went to bed early.  That put me at about 850 calories for the entire day.  This morning I woke up and stepped on the scale and my weight finally went down a pound.  Do I have to lower my calories to that extreme to lose the weight?  Why isn't my body responding to my 1500 calorie a day plan like it was the last time I tried it a few months ago?  It's as if my body wants me to starve or something.  I'm going to switch to 1200 per day and see if that is low enough to get the ball rolling again.  I refuse to go lower than that because I know it isn't healthy.  I hope this works!

Only 3 days till weigh in...

My weight is staying steady.  I'm not gaining, but I'm not losing, either.  I wonder what's up with my body?  Why is it being so damn stubborn with this first 10 pounds?  Message to my body:  Just let go!  It's okay!  I promise you will be happier for it!

Some good news from the doctor!

I got the call this morning that my uterine biopsy results came back negative for the pre cancer that I have been fighting!  The medicine I've been taking has worked.  Now I just have to focus on keeping it gone!  The biggest battle is the one of the bulge.  Losing the weight will help prevent the hyperplasia from returning.  My doctor said that it was caused by an excess of estrogen in my body, and that body fat releases estrogen into our systems.  Therefore, the more fat you have, the more estrogen you have and the more likely it is for stuff like hyperplasia and certain cancers to occur.  So... this means that for me it is super important to lower my estrogen levels by losing some of my extra pounds!  I'm working on it.  It's a slow process, but I feel very good about what I'm doing for myself.  I feel like I'm becoming the person that I've always wanted to be.  Instead of a person with low self esteem and little self control, I'm becoming more confident and I'm actually gaining will power.  The longer I stick with my healthy eating and portion control, the stronger I feel I'm getting!        

A gain :(

This morning was weigh in and I'm up a pound.  Sigh.  But I'm not going to let it discourage me.  I stayed within my calorie range last week so I'm not sure why my weight went up instead of down.  I just have to trust that my body will eventually let go of the weight as long as I keep up the portion control.  This week I plan on adding some cardio back into my life.  We'll see how that goes!  Me and exercise don't get along very well.  We have what you could call an on again off again- emphasis on the off again- relationship.    This week my goal is to take off at least a pound.  It's tough during the holidays.  Everywhere I go there is chocolate covered everything!  Pretzels and peppermint patties and cherries, etc.  Everything all deliciously covered in chocolate- my #2 major weakness, beat out of the #1 spot by potato chips.  But I can and will get through the season with a weight loss.  Even with my small gain this week I am still 6 pounds lighter than when I started a couple of weeks ago.  And that is something to smile about!   

Delicious chocolate goodness!

I discovered that if I split a Kit-Kat bar with my husband it becomes a 105 calorie treat!  Yum!  I got my chocolate fix and I didn't ruin my day. 

I'm still on track!

I'm still hanging in there.  Today I almost let myself eat unhealthy fast food.  We found ourselves at a restaurant for dinner and I was so close to ordering a giant bacon cheeseburger with fries and a chocolate shake.  I don't know what it was that stopped me, but I ended up ordering chicken and a baked potato instead for around 600 calories, which didn't even put me over my daily calorie budget.  I shudder to think how much I would have gone over if I would have ordered what I actually wanted!  LOL!  But I feel really good right now that I made a healthier choice.  There's no guilt to deal with, which is refreshing since I was getting used to living with guilt every time I ate.  Now I feel like I'm doing the right thing for my body (even if my taste buds do feel a little deprived ).  I'm finally gaining some self control when it comes to food choices.  Now I know that I can make healthy choices no matter where I find myself for a meal!