09/16/2008 12:03
Lazy Morning
It's Tuesday morning and I am beyond tired.
Took my shower and I really could have just crawled back into bed and stayed there for a while. I knew that would not happen though with two littles ones!
They have that internal clock that wakes them up precisely at 7 or 7:30 am.
So, I was looking around extrapounds yesterday and I am not sure I like it as much as just blogging on blogger and using fitday.
I am going to still use it and hopefully begin to like it a little bit more.
This morning for breakfast I am having:
4 thin strips of turkey bacon
2 eggs, pan fried with 1 tsp. butter
Got to keep my bloog sugars regulated!
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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09/15/2008 16:07
Back - been a year or so
Have not posted in quite a while. I have been busy to say the least with two kids! Last time I posted here I was pregnant with baby #2 and now he's here - well, he's a year old now ha ha ha.
I am super insulin resistant, weigh 282 pounds and need to somehow get this weight off. I'm going to look around this website a bit. BBL
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/23/2007 01:43
Blood sugars
I sent my doctor an email tonight since I just am having the hardest time with my blood sugar. My blood has been just under 200 the last couple of days and tonight it went over with 226. I need to have my insulin upped I think so I can continue to eat fruit, grains etc. for the baby!
Hopefully I get a response soon. Until then I will be really watching my consumption of carbohydrates.
My morning fasting sugars have been bad too - this morning was 117!!! Not good. I have started having no carbs at all again at breakfast like I was doing prior to being put on insulin. Meat is not exciting for breakfast!!! I had a few eggs and they caused me to have to visit the bathroom! I hate that eggs do that to me because they are such a great source of protein and an easy fix in the morning.
Tomorrow night we are going to pick up stuff for the party on Friday. I have to make Shannon's cake and have already set in my mind that I am not going to have any at the party. My health and the well being of this baby is more important than a lousy piece of cake!
I will be making jell-o shots too so that people can enjoy those on Friday too. There is going to be so many different drinks - people are going to be very "happy" by the end of the night!
Hubby's brother is spending the night on Friday too and hubby and his brother and a bunch of other people will be going shooting on Saturday morning for the day. Mikey and I will stay at home and play. He really enjoys playing with play dough so maybe when we go to get some stuff for the party tomorrow night I will pick him up some other colors and bigger containers of play dough so he can really make some interesting things!
I love doing crafts with him. It's so fun to watch him learn new things and try out something new. It's fun just watching him and seeing how his facial expressions are and how involved he gets. You can see the brain ticking in that cute little head trying to figure out everything. So cute! I especially love it when we are doing crafts or playing with his cars or toots toots or drawing and he just turns around and gives me a huge hug, pats me and says mama and gives me a big kiss! It's the best feeling in the whole world.
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/21/2007 18:29
Sweets
Ok, I told hubby today that when he gets home the cake that I have here needs to be put up super high - somewhere that I can't have it. I told him I was going to put water all over it and put it down the disposal but he said he wanted more of it. I told him to please make it so I can't physically get it then.
He agreed. I stuck it in the microwave for now so I can't visually see it.
For lunch today I had homemade chicken salad sandwich with celery and jalapenos. It was tasty. Breakfast was a homemade hamburger. That is two days in a row ha ha. I don't know why I woke up two days in a row wanting a homemade hamburger but I did ha ha.
Not sure what is for dinner. It might be spaghetti over wheat pasta shells - or chicken something or other. I know it needs to be healthy though.
This Friday we are having a party at our house and I have been doing lots of planning. It is a potluck type deal and I want to make sure there are some healthy options there so I will make sure that we have fruit, veggies and lean meat, cheese, whole grain cracker tray etc. There will be tons of bad foods and I am making the cake (WHICH I AM GOING TO STAY STRONG AND NOT HAVE ANY OF!)
I have reached out to a few people to keep me on the path of staying away from cake. My favorite thing in the world!
I was thinking about making the fruit kabobs again that I usually make at our bbq's. I have a TON of the skewers still. I thought it would be cute though to do the idea of the inverted watermelon half and sticking the skewers out the back of it to make a porcupine. It will be good since there will be kids there too. I am sure they will get a kick out of it. Usually I set them up like a flower arrangement so the porcupine sounds like a new fun idea.I'll be back later - gotta pee ha ha ha. Us preggers gotta go when we gotta go ya know!
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/21/2007 00:21
giant me
Tonight I had a break down and tantrum about how fat I am. My stomach is getting bigger and bigger with the baby and my ass is pulling from the back and clothes look like crap on me.
Hubby bought me two shirts today from ROSS and he said they look fine on me but I feel like a giant blob. I admit I threw a tantrum and told him that I am destined to wear lounge pants and a t-shirt until this baby comes out of my stomach and I can physically do something about being a lard ass.
I saw so many cute dresses today and wished that I could have purchased them and wore them. Now is not the time and it is very depressing. I guess I was due for a melt down. My mood went severely SOUTH!
I have been holding my pregnancy hormones for the most part under control so perhaps having a blow out was what I needed.
First off I DID THIS TO MYSELF! This baby didn't make me FAT! I MADE MYSELF FAT BEFORE THIS BABY EVER GOT IN MY STOMACH!
Now gaining weight with the pregnancy and being the highest I have ever been is scaring me and making me feel even worse about myself.
There are a few things I can do now to take control of this situation not making it worst.
I can get my eating sweets (or feeling the NEED to eat sweets) out of my system. I am still having cravings for stuff and I have a feeling that it's not really a craving but more of an emotional FIX that I need because I feel so uncomfortable and frustrated with myself and my size and my discomfort. I need to keep my blood sugars under control. I need to faithfully do my food log. I need to drink more water and less sugar free beverages. Plain water is good for me and having less of the sugar free teas, sodas etc. will help to wean me off the TASTE of sweetness even though it's sugar free. I need to eat as close to natural as possible if that makes any sense.
I am just frustrated in general. I hurt really bad because the weather changed and is super rainy and my joints are hurting really bad with my fibromyalgia. I know it already started taking a toll on my mood earlier today. I am so sick of being in pain.
I can't take my Nortriptyline while pregnant and I am actually looking forward to being back on it once I stop breast feeding.
I am going to go and elevate my feet now. My left ankle is swollen really big right now. I hate pregnancy swelling - it makes me feel like my skin is going to burst.
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/11/2007 20:09
Accountability
Just wanted to stop in and give myself some accountability. I am sure that Becky is checking in here too and seeing if I am doing my food log ha ha. I have it on my fridge but will put it here too.
Breakfast: 1/4 of a subway sandwich (left over dinner) 200 cal
Starbucks: tall iced 2% green tea latte on my way to pick up Mikey from Mom and Dad's house
Snack at Mom and Dads house: two prunes 20 calories
Lunch: Corned beef hash (Mikey LOVES IT) so I made some and had a bit (380 calories per cup)
Afternoon snack: half toasted pita 110 with one slice cheese 100, 1 tsp. light mayo 25, tons of jalapenos 5 and 3/4 of a chicken patty 200 calories
Dinner is Subway sandwich: Hubby picked it up for me with a light lemonade and baked chips (140) The sandwich is a BMT with double veggies and lite mayo and cheese. I need to look at the Subway website to find out how much the sandwich is - usually they are around 800 for a foot long but I had 6 inch and saved the other 6 inch for later.
I get 1800-2000 calories per day while pregnant so I think I am on target. I need to add everything up. I also need to look at Starbucks website to get the caloric value on my green tea with ice and 2% milk. Gonna go and check now.
Okay, 450 per six inch for the BMT. Cheese is additional 60 calories per half and 50 per half on the mayo. So, 560 for the 6 inch. This is a higher sub than what I usually get. I usually get the low fat ones so this one has higher calories. I am still doing pretty well and feel good about my choices today especially since I had so many veggies on the sub sandwich.
Starbucks 140 calories for the tall iced tazo green tea (not bad at all)!!!
I need to go and change Michael's diaper AGAIN - he ate one prune today too and WOW it's cleaning his plumbing out ha ha ha.
I have so much laundry to fold and will get a start on that soon since hubby is headed to the baseball game. I want to surprise him with how much I got put away before he gets home. The game starts in 2 more hours. I think it's so funny that Blake Lewis will be singing the anthem there tonight - hubby is excited to go to the game he's been talking about it for a while now.
Well, off I go to diaper duty (or should I say DOODIE) ha ha and then upstairs to fold some laundry. I will have to do the laundry folding in cycles tonight ha ha ha there is no way I will get it done all in one sitting/standing.
Updating: 10:30 pm. Well I got some of the laundry folded and then had to come downstairs in severe pain. My back is KILLING ME! Mikey was throwing clothes around too and made it near impossible so I gave up after about doing half of it.
He is sleeping right now and I need to get him upstairs but scared to carry him with my backache and umbilical hernia. Hubby should be home from the mariners game soon so I am debating if I should just stay down here a while longer and have him carry him up.
I just had my insulin and my bedtime snack (1/4 cup low fat cottage cheese with 1/4 cup pineapple) the baby is kicking up a storm now. He must like the snack!
I washed it down with some v-8 diet juice - I love that stuff - it's like 10 calories or something like that and tastes yummy!
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/11/2007 01:03
Tops Meeting tonight
Another TOPS meeting tonight in our house and the program was done by Becky and it was great! I think that it got us all talking about why we want to lose weight and Becky stayed afterwards and we talked a little bit more on a personal level. She has the same thoughts about self-esteem as me. I discussed with her how I miss wearing the cute trendy clothes and feeling sexy and now I just feel like don't even bother because I don't feel like I can look cute.
I do the best that I can do but don't wear skirts and cute shoes anymore. I wear lounge pants most of the time now (something I would have NEVER DONE years ago).
I know a lot has to do with having a toddler and a new baby on the way (still in my belly actually) but I know A LOT of it also stems on how I feel about myself and I need to have self love for myself before I will start to want to put effort into making myself look better.
Once I went over 250 pounds I kind of looked at is as a hopeless cause and no reason to try to dress cute anymore because how can a big fat woman look cute in something trendy? Also it doesn't help that the plus size clothes of today just are not flattering. I have some shirts that are more flattering than others (I try not to do the moo moo tent look) that the fashion industry thinks plus size women want to do. I try to find shirts with empire waists etc. that flatter fuller bodies. I just want to dress in NORMAL shops. Not having to always go to the fat lady store and empty my entire wallet at the counter because the clothes are three times as much as the tiny clothes!
Well, this week I picked for my goal to journal everything full detail. I decided to rather than write in my spiral notebook to put the chart on the fridge and will fill it in as I get my meals during the day. I want to maintain a slow gain with this pregnancy or maintain. I obviously have to gain weight for the baby but WAY less than most because I am morbid obese.
Tonight I was down .8 pounds. Not much but it's better than being UP!
Next week I hope to stay the same or go down just a tad bit. I am going to focus on eating quality foods for my body and the healthy of my baby. I have to stop eating the sugary treats - when I get the craving if I can't get past it I need to as Lisa said tonight just have a little in portion controlled amount and move on. Not eat a big portion and suffer the consequences of high blood sugar.
All in all I am ready to work on that this week. I hope to make it a longer term goal as well as I do have SEVERE sugar addiction. The darn stuff just tastes so yummy!
Tomorrow hubby goes to the baseball game with his brother and I will be home with Mikey. On Saturday I am also sending him and his brother to that all merchandise sale at the fair grounds. It looks like something hubby would drool over. He loves electronics and it looks like there will be a ton of it over there. I would go except I get too exhausted now so I figure him and his brother would be able to spend hours and hours looking without me dragging them down. I will spend time with my little bun bun and have fun playing and laughing!
I love Mikey - gosh that little guy makes me giggle.
Sunday is Mother's Day and we are going to Mom and Dad's house and I will be cooking dinner over there. I need to go and get Mom some live plants - she LOVES live plants. She loves to have her garden outside just blooming in all different colors throughout the Spring and Summer. I am thinking about getting her a monster fuscia plant for the deck. She has so many plants so I need to maybe ask Dad what she is hinting around for.
Hubby got me another pair of shoes for Mother's Day :) that is what I told him I wanted. We already got them but they are in the box and I can't have them until Mother's Day. They are the most comfortable shoes. He bought me a pair of tan ones a few weeks ago and they feel like slippers. This pair is light baby blue :D so cute!
I am getting tired - it's been a long day. My tummy is full too from diet v-8. I love that stuff - just ten calories! I can handle ten calories :D I don't drink really any juice anymore that isn't light. They have really come a long way in the diet juices. I am happy so many are made with Splenda now instead of aspartame.
Well, off to bed I go - well at least upstairs to watch the news for a bit and hopefully get a nice night of sleep.
Tomorrow is my day of focusing on CLEAN EATING - marking down EVERYTHING that goes in - even if it's just one raisin or one almond - if I BITE IT I WRITE IT!
Oh, one other thing - the baby is due August 31st and we had to pick longer term goals so I picked that I would lose 10% of my body weight by January 1, 2008. That is realistic since I will be nursing after the baby is born I will have to still take it easy with the weight loss. I think 10% is very doable and a realistic goal for myself.
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/09/2007 18:23
Sugar
I went to the OB today and had a good appointment. I didn't get a lecture about my weight which I figured I would. I know that I just need to really pay attention to the weight gain in the last trimester so I don't go overboard.
I am so tired today. Just can't wake up. I have lots of stuff to do and no energy. I did do some laundry but that is about it. I still have dishes that need to be done and mopping the kitchen but just can't get the strength. All I want to do is SLEEP!
Mom and Dad still have Mikey so I could if I wanted to but I just can't fall asleep and STAY asleep. I will think that I had fallen asleep for several hours only to see on the clock it's been five or ten minutes. I really need some gooooood sleep!
So, I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about HOW ADDICTED I AM TO SUGAR! It's crazy! I really, really enjoy eating sweets and that has to be knocked off.
I want to be one of those people that eats FRUIT for dessert and not one that wants a Krispy Creme donut or a cupcake. I know that I do it to comfort myself and I really need to stop it.
If I don't get a grasp on this "sugar addiction" I am honestly thinking that I will NEVER be under 200 pounds again. I want to be healthy, I want my children to have a Mom that will be there for them for YEARS and not taken away from them early due to a heart attack or stroke or some other obesity related disease.
I'm completely uncomfortable right now and need to go and lay down. I feel like lots of pressure in my stomach and my back hurts. Oh the aches and pains of pregnancy.
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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05/08/2007 03:21
Too much weight gain
I have not posted in a while but figured I better make an update on here to keep myself accountable.
It's after midnight and I just can't sleep. The baby is kicking me and really active and it's making it harder to sleep. I have a hard time sleeping in general now.
I am almost 24 weeks now and have gained already 11 pounds with this pregnancy and need to really keep it under control.
I should not gain more than 15 pounds with this pregnancy due to being morbid obese.
That doesn't leave much room left for sure. 4 pounds can be gained by me in ONE WEEK so I really need to buckle down because especially in the last trimester you can gain a pound a week - well that would just send me way over the top of being HUGE!!!!
I can feel it in my body how big I have become. I can feel it in my breathing, my fatigue.
I have let my body get completely out of control.
Diana told me about a book (structure house) and I ordered it from ebay to read over the next few months so I have more ammunition to fight this weight problem once the baby is born.
I am very concerned with my weight.
It's causing a lot of social issues with me as well.
I have a problem being in social settings because I feel like I am always the biggest there and I worry about what people think.
Quick log of what I ate today:
Breakfast: two eggs with three piece lean Canadian bacon, cheese sprinkles and guacamole (omelette)
Snack: one cup of frozen mixed fruit with one cup almond milk and splenda (YUM) mixed in the blender.
Lunch: Two slices rye bread, lean turkey, cheese slice, sauerkraut, thousand island dressing
Second snack: Apricot/ginger turkey sausage with hot dog bun
Dinner: Subway club with all of the veggies and baked Sour Cream and Onion chips and diet Pepsi
As always tons of water during the day
My favorite at the moment - fresh squeezed lime juice into water and lots of ice and a pinch of Splenda - tastes like Limeade
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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04/16/2007 23:39
Tagged by Becky
Okay, Becky tagged me to write up my five obsessions. Let's see...
1. Becky you made me laugh when you talked about showering in ORDER ha ha ha because I seem to do that too!
Wash hair first - then rinse, then put my deep conditioner on my head (has to sit on for three minutes) while it's sitting on my hair - out comes the body wash/soap etc. and scrubba dubba!
Shaving legs is next - (will admit it's not everyday anymore ha ha - when your gut is getting bigger with baby it's not so comfy bending down to shave.)
Then rinse conditioner out, dry off, towel on head, next deodorant, brush teeth, towel off hair, spray in smoothing anti frizz spray, usually put hair up on my head in a bun (if not going out anywhere) then get dressed.
2. This is a MAJOR obsession of mine. It has a lot to do with some abuse that I dealt with in my past. I have to sleep with the window cracked open and I have to have the blinds pulled to the side (curtains to the side a few inches) so that I can see OUT. If the window is not like that - I AM NOT going to sleep. I always need to see an OUT.
3. This is another obsession of mine that was also caused by the abuse - I don't go through tunnels. Hubby and I never take 99 because of the tunnels. He one day forgot and ended up going through the tunnels and by the time we got through the other end I felt like I was going to pass out. My blood pressure was up high and I could feel my heart pounding and could feel the pounding in my neck. NOT a good feeling. We don't go to the East side any other way than 405 - I do NOT do tunnels. I think it used to bother hubby because we had to drive way out of our way sometimes when going through a tunnel would be so much quicker but I just could not do it.
I literally feel like jumping out of the car at the thought! Thankfully he is very supportive and knows what I went through and makes every effort to make sure I feel secure in my environment when we are out.
4. I call my Mom and Dad every morning between 9:30 am and 10 am. If I don't call my parents in the morning they think something is wrong ha ha ha. It's something that I have made part of my HAVE TO DO before I can really start the day. My parents are the WORLD to me and I have to call and check on them every morning - and okay a few more phone calls happen during the day too tee hee. We are a very close family.
5. My other obsession is emailing my sister in England. We email every day and if we check our emails and don't have emails by a certain time my sister will call and say WHAT HAPPENED ha ha. Just like my Mom and Dad - my sister and I are very close and expect to receive our emails from each other. It's funny because sometimes I check my email every few minutes by refreshing to see if she has emailed and I am happy when I finally get one. She is the same. We are bummed when there is no email yet and so happy when it finally goes through! :)
Posted By: mikeysmommy33
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