The last 6 weeks have been monsterous on me. Actually it started the end of January when I ran out of Wellbutrin and has been getting better since I went back on the meds the first part of March. I'm fighting the collateral damage from February (I was hovering back around 213 for a while), but seem to be making some progress.
This week I started hitting the Beach hard again. Went back on Phase 1 and have lost about 4 pounds since Monday. Needless to say, I didn't make my March 17th goal of 199. I'm okay with it though. Maybe I'll hit it by the end of April. Whatever the case, I will make it. That's what matters in the long run, right? Sometimes I put waaaaay too much pressure on myself.
I took my measurements today and it looks like I've lost a total of 16.25 inches...2.5 off my chest, 2.25 from my waist, and an 4.75 from my hips. Wooohooo!! I'll measure again in a few months to see where I am...maybe when I drop another size or 2.
Nothing too exciting to update about the rest of our existance. The girls are doing well...except E was sent home yesterday with a possible case of pink eye so we got meds and then stayed home today, too. She's fine...it's just a sinus infection coming out her tear ducts. Gross, I know!!
Oh...I finally found a babysitter for weekends and have been taking advantage of the situation. Going out tomorrow night to see a movie...3rd date with the same fella. AND the same gal has been cleaning my house for the past 3 weeks. It's awesome. If I can just keep up with the girls in the evenings and over the weekend (that's the hard part!), she'd help me organize my office, too. She did an awesome job on finding my bedroom...it was a huge disaster area!!
Soooo, yeah. That's all. 11:30 and I'm headed to bed for a few minutes before someone wakes up screaming "mommy!!"
Between ToM (who finally showed up for real yesterday) and this cold that has been hanging out in my lungs/sinuses since Wednesday, my ass has been handed to me on a plate...sunny side up. This morning, the scale bounced between 207 and 210. I have no clue what was up with it. I hope it behaves tomorrow, but I'm sure I'll be in the 210 range. Today was a carb-fest. One of those days where all I wanted to eat was bread...so I did mostly. I did make a really good dinner - Paprika Shrimp & Green Bean Saute, but it did nothing to make up for the rest of the day. At least I'll be able to start tomorrow off on a better foot and have a decent lunch.
On top of me being sick, I apparently shared it with my oldest. She ran a fever most of today and was little miss cranky pants. We were supposed to meet with a potential babysitter, but had to cancel since I didn't want to take the kiddo out while she was feeling bad. I ended up taking a Benadryl this afternoon because I was sneezing my head off and my eyes were itching like crazy. Honestly, other than the huge amount of crap in my lungs, I feel like I'm in the midst of an allergy attack rather than a cold.
About the only thing I managed to get done this weekend was cleaning out the plastic bowl cabinet. Exciting stuff, I tell ya.
I'm in class this week, so I'm sneaking on during lunch. Don't tell anyone!
What I thought was tom turned out to be his dog, spot. Didn't last, so I have no idea what the hell is going on. My cycles have been so damned weird since I got my IUD back in July. They're definitely lighter, but kinda sporatic. That annoys me since I've always been a predictible 28-dayer.
Anyway, I'm down to 208.6 this morning. Yay!! I'm working hard to get to my goal for the month. I'm shooting for 7 in February...leaving a mere 3 for the first 17 days of March. Only 6 to go!!
I've found that I can't use my DVD's while the girls are awake. They won't leave me alone so I can move!! I cracked my oldest in the eye on Saturday because she was running circles around me while I was trying to follow along. Thank goodness it didn't leave a mark!! I can't get motivated to do anything at night after the girls are in bed, and right now, the little one is still ending up in bed with me most mornings. Kinda makes it difficult to get up in the morning. Grrrrrrrrr. I'll figure it out eventually, but for now I'll just have to do whatever little bits I can.
Looks like I may be stuck around 209/210 for several days. That stupid guy, ToM showed up this morning and shouldn't have been here for another week at least. Oh well. I won't promise to stay away from the chocolate, but I will make it more healthy...like black bean brownies. In fact, I'll probably whip up a batch of those tonight now that I've got my brain wrapped around the idea.
In my quest for bettering myself, this week I've really started focusing on what I'm feeding the girls. That light bulb finally got bright enough that I couldn't ignore it any longer (Reading YOU on a Diet helped that). So now they're eating more whole foods, too. I've gotten rid of most of the processed junk in the house, and will work on it some more this weekend. They already like vegetables and adore fruit, but I'm the one who needed a knock on the head to get them moving in that direction more often. I pulled out some of the kid-friendly cookbooks I bought last summer and started reading/making notes. Fun for the whole family!
I'm happy to report I'm feeling much better since my post on Monday. I just don't do well with staying at home for long periods of time.
The scale was down again today...to a lovely 209.6!! That leaves me just 10.6 pounds to my goal of 199. I think I mentioned before that I really want to hit that by March 17th. It looks like it will be possible!!! I lost 12.6 pounds in January (started at 222.2). How unbelieveable is that?? I don't expect this rate to continue, but if for some reason it does, I could be at my true goal of 150 well before my birthday (December 26...my original target date). At any rate though, I will be skinnier for both of the girls' next birthdays. May 25 is Ella's 2nd, and July 30th is Lexi's 4th. I'm thinking we may have to have a pool party for Miss Lex. It will be fun to see where I really am by summer.
I’m glad the weekend is over.If I learned anything in the past 63 hours, it was that I’m not ready to stop taking antidepressants…which means a trip to my new doctor must be scheduled this week.Damnit!!I thought I was doing so well, but this weekend really did me in.The girls weren’t terrors, but every little thing they did put me on edge.I hate feeling that way.I hate yelling at my children; they certainly don’t deserve it.Yesterday was especially bad.At one point, I found myself curled up in a ball bawling upstairs while they were downstairs making a huge racket with some silly game they were playing.Sometimes, I guess, drugs are the answer.*sigh*I feel horrible that I can’t be with my children for an entire weekend without freaking out.It’s not healthy…for any of us.
Yes, it’s true, another day with a loss…212.8 to be more precise.I could get used to this.I do believe I might make that goal of 199 by March 17.Wouldn’t that be swell?
I’ve been in Phase 2 for a week now, and I’m feeling pretty good about everything.This weekend, I’m going to load some things into the food tracker simply because I’m curious about the number of calories I’m consuming.You don’t have to count calories on The Beach, but my curiosity is getting the best of me!I feel a deep desire to know.
Still waiting for my darn Turbo Jam and Yoga Booty Ballet DVDs to arrive.I have a feeling it may be next Tuesday before they actually get here.Kinda stinks, but I’m sure I’ll survive.Think of it this way…if they don’t come today, I have the weekend to get the basement picked up so I actually have room to move.Now there’s a concept!!
I finished reading YOU on a Diet yesterday.Actually, I just read the information portion; I didn’t read the actual diet part because I’m not planning to change directions at this point.I think I know more about how my intestines work than I ever really wanted to know.Now that I know all the chemical processes that go into processing foods, I’m a lot less leery of including healthy fats in my diet.I do think I’m going to pick up a copy of Ultrametabolism soon.I read the reviews at Amazon, and with Ashley’s good words about it, the whole thing sounds like more good gouge to put in my nutritional arsenal.
You know, with the amount of reading and research I’ve done on diet and exercise over the past 8 years, you’d think I’d still be thin.It’s amazing how efficiently mental and emotional chaos work to destroy the body.I think I’m finally back in the mindset I had back in college when I lost weight the first time.I was so focused and determined to succeed.Nothing could stop me…not even sorority functions or finals week.That’s where I need to be in order to succeed.Yes, I have the stresses of the girls and work, but those things are nothing like the gigantic amount of bullshit I dealt with for 5½ of the last 6 years.Things are in my court now.I make the rules.I am in control.I have no one to please but myself.True, I have responsibilities that extend beyond myself, but all in all, those things are simple.The girls are angels most of the time.Work could be better only if I had more authority.Our lives are soooooo much better since we moved.I’m content with everything but my weight, and that is something I can control.I have grabbed the reigns that were previously flapping in the breeze, and I am ready to steer my weight and myself in the right direction…toward better health.
The coaster is headed downhill again after the weekend's slight upturn. It took me until today to get back to where I was, and I'm another 0.4 from there...213.2. Yay. I think that as long as I don't let upcoming visits to my parents' throw me off track like the did this time, the downhill course should be fairly smooth.
I'm not having any problems sticking to the program right now. All of my cravings are satisfied, and I'm only hungry when I go too long between meals (like when I get busy at work and ignore the signs that scream "snack time"). It's funny though...I've been noticing smells a lot more than I did before. It's almost like my olfactory senses are on pregnant mode (I was super-sensitive to smells both times). I never realized how heavy the smell of grease was. It's hard on my nose!!
My FlavorWave arrived yesterday. I'll have to wait until Saturday to use it simply because I need to clean off some counter space. My first experiment will be a turkey breast. And if that turns out well, I'll do a beef roast. Then I'll have cooked meat available to grab for wraps or whatever when I don't have time or desire to cook a full meal. Could be fun.
Aaaaarrrrgggh!! That's all I can say about my weekend at my parents'. I knew it was going to be bad, and I did almost everything I could to avoid going off my plan. Didn't happen...not in the slightest. Saturday was okay, but Sunday was horrible...just horrible. Pancakes for breakfast (would have had eggs, but used the last 2 to make the pancakes), fried pork chops for lunch (though I did skip the mashed potatoes and gravy). Ugh!! Last night, my stomach was churning. I did have a good dinner, but it wasn't enough to make up for the bad food and lack of water all weekend.
But that's okay. Today is a new day and I can start fresh. So I gained a pound in 2 days. It can't all be fat. In fact, I'm hoping most of it is water and will come flying off over the next 2-3 days.
Next time we go visit my parents, or anywhere else for that matter, I'll be packing an entire cooler of foods that I can eat. Pinkie Swear!!
The scale this morning read 213.6...so I stepped on it again to make sure and it said 213.8...and again for 213.4. So I guess it was close to right! Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the day I have been waiting a very long time to see. I am 100% completely and officially rid of baby fat. Now I'm just plain fat.
I've been thinking a lot about what Ashley said in her blog about looking at who you want to become vs. who you used to be. It's a sound philosophy...makes so much sense. I haven't yet hit that place where people ask me when I'm going to stop losing, but I'm sure I'll get there soon enough. It's enough to drive a person crazy...that much I remember.
I'll leave you with this for the day, as I need to get in gear and get the girls up: I will transform my body and my mind into that of a thin person. I don't have to be obese, overweight, fat, or chunky. I choose where this road leads, and no one has permission to lead me astray. Only I hold the map and the keys. Let's hit the ground running.
Don't tell anyone!