Week 4, Day 4 - Admission of Guilt

I've been crappy about posting because I've been crappy about following my program.  The weekend was hell on me again.  I had absolutely no desire to stay within the limits.  Ugh!!  I have to stop this sabotage.  I need to figure out what is going on in th back of my brain.  The part of me that doesn't want to loose weight is taking control, and I have to do something about it.

I think I've said before (a few times, I'm sure) that I do best when I journal reguarly.  Well, just look at my irregularity these last 2 weeks and you can practically see when my slide happened. 

So here I go again.  I'm going to make it a point to journal a minimum of every day...but especially on the weekends.  Perhaps I should journal or write something instead of eating!    That's actually a really good idea.  I can't type and eat at the same time.  Today was a good example of that.  I was working on writing some articles and noon to 2:30 evaporated.  That's a good thought.  I'll be able to make progress with my articles (a big project I've put on myself) and keep up with my journal. 

Anybody want to hold me accountable?  Send me nasty grams if I go more than 2 days without a journal entry?  Really...I mean it!

changing your body isn't easy

okay,

so this guy on tv said "Changing your body is never easy" and how true. I wish it were easy, everyone does. If only we could just eat dessert and drink wine and indulge ourselves in whatever we want whenever we want and still look hot. Yeah, I've been doing this weight loss thing for years now ever since 2001 when i was in high school and worried about my weight to the point of starving myself. I say sometimes FUCK it and just ditch the whole idea...then end up going back to it cuz I'm so tired of looking at this belly. This is a never ending game it seems. And there are enough diet books out there and programs to pull us all in to take our money. I think our culture is just tooo obsessed with body image. If we were more accepting of fat and full figured people, then most people would just relax and be comfortable in their own skin. I think it's a rotten shame that our culture is like this, wouldn't it be great if we could go back to the time when full figured women were considered sexy? ahhh...if only someone would change it.

alright

okay that post was probably not the most encouraging but it's something to think about...

You don't have to give up on your quest for that hot body...I certainly don't want to give up because I know how I would feel if I did. I guess that's all you have to think about...just think how you would feel if you gave up on trying..how would this make you feel in the long run?