Lacking Motivation and other nonsense
I can tell that AF is going to show up soon. The last 3 days I have had what I call "hollow leg syndrome." I never ever feel full...no matter how much I eat. And it's driving me nucking futs!! It's no wonder I'm having a terrible time right now.
I'm not so sure I'm going to go back to JC next week. In fact, I don't really know what I'm going to do. Yes, I'm doubting myself again...hugely. I'm having a terrible time focusing any effort at all on making good food choices. I've allowed myself to get way off track, and I've not been able to steer myself back in the right direction yet. I don't know which part of me is pulling in which direction. Sometimes I feel like I know where I'm going, but other times I feel incredibly lost. And alone.
This wandering aimlessly isn't like me. Not with dieting at least. I've always been either on or off. There's never been this gray area before. I don't like teetering...not know if I'm going to fall into or out of good habits. Thinking rationally about it doesn't seem to help matters. Of course, I don't think it makes them worse either.