So I've been gone for awhile. The good news is that I've managed to more or less maintain my loss. Yay!! I'm sticking right around 185...sometimes above, sometimes below. But always in that range. I have no plans to see 190 again...EVER.
I finally gave in and gave up the Smart for Life program. After losing the 10 pounds I piled on in the month I took off from the cookies I've seen pretty much no movement on the scale. So I'm done. Enough of that. It's too much money going to waste.
I'm on to designing my "own" slow-losing maintenance-like lifestyle change. For the time being, I've signed up for Weight Watchers online program. I could have done it without the official program, but I want the accountability all the way around. It's too easy for me to cheat if NO ONE knows.
I signed up on Sunday and really started yesterday. Decided to start with Flex and plan to move to Core when I'm more in the groove...and through the "honeymoon" of eating real food again.
Plowed through the end of the no-bake cookies tonight (along with 12 WFPs). No worries...I'm so over them it's not even funny. My stomach is revolting. I'm sure I'll have issues tomorrow.
So anyway....that's where I've been for the last couple of months and where I am now.
I'm definitely making changes in my lifestyle. They're slow and take a lot of work in the thinking department, but completely manageable.
My plan for tonight is to work on a menu for the rest of this week and next week.
I'm sitting here this morning pouring over my two newest cookbook finds. The first is Hungry Girl: Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-Free Eating in the Real World. I've loved Hungry Girl (no, not in THAT way ) since I started getting her newsletter a couple of years ago. Honestly, when the book was first announced, I was skeptical. After a lot of thought, I decided to go ahead and get it. I'm glad I did! No, it's not a natural or whole-food focused book. There are lots of commercial ingredients. But there's no reason you can't make substitutes...I'm sure I will work on adapting the recipes to suit our house. IMO, a recipe is a starting place...not an absolute.
My second new love is The Most Decadent Diet Ever! from Devin Alexander (she also put together The Biggest Looser Cookbook). Again, it's a starting place and not meant (to me at least) to be an all-encompassing diet plan.
Has boredom with my Smart for Life program set in again? A little bit, but not enough to make me actually deviate from the plan. However, I know that my time with the program will end in the not-so-distant future. I can't live on such a restricted diet forever. It's not realistic, and I've already tortured myself for the last 4 months. It's just not gonna continue much longer.
So I'm setting myself up for success by getting ready to return to the real world of food. I have no desire to eat frozen dinners, so I won't. I have no desire to live on plain chicken and salad, so I won't. The plan? To prepare meals that taste good and won't kill me. Or make me fat again. That's it. NO particular diet. NO pills or potions. Just a huge selection of recipes to choose from and a daily calorie goal. You know...the way we should ALWAYS eat.
I've gotten away from working on my Beck plan. I cleaned off my desk at work and put the books in my drawer. Out of sight, out of mind. I'll be getting them out again. I need to get back with the program. I do still read my ARCs about once a day and still have my daily schedule beeping at me throughout the day from my cell phone (I still love all the features on that thing!). I'll probably "start over" at the beginning of the book & workbook as a refresher.
That's all for today. I'm going to spend a few hours in the basement playroom getting it cleaned up. The disaster is driving me nuts.
It seems that my body is finally overcoming the tragedy of sickness. Honestly, I"m not feeling any better. I'm not feeling any worse though. Thank the Good Lord for that. I think that the water retention that came with my week of prednisone is finally gone. That's the spike in my weight last week. I was up to 196.4 from 192.8 in a matter of 2 days and stayed there. This morning I'm down to 191. Yay!! Yesterday, I was 192.4 and Wednesday 193.6...it has to be at least partially water.
I feel like I'm back in the groove of my weight loss program again. I had my monthly (though it had been 6 weeks) appointment with the Smart for Life doctor on Monday. I was 197 on their scale that day...up 0.8 from the previous Tuesday. We had a long discussion about my being sick and my progress. He said that he was actually quite pleased with my overall progress since I started the program on January 4th.
I have lost 35 pounds of fat
I have gained 7 pounds of muscle
I was up 3 pounds of water that day over my initial visit
My BMI went from 34.8 to 30.9. At my age, I am now classified as overweight
I am STILL sick!! Can you believe it??? I'm bummed and pissed about this whole damned mess. I have been sick in one form or another for over 7 weeks now. It started out as a basic cold right after I got home from St. Louis in February. Then it moved into my lungs. I was almost better. Then I started with this whole deal of being lightheaded, dizzy and nauseas around March 28. That's what I'm STILL fighting. I'm tired of it already!!!
No one knows what's wrong yet. At least not definitively. I went back see to my own doc on Monday last week (the 14th). She put me on prednisone. After 5 days, it did absolutely nothing for me. So now I have an appointment on Wednesday for a brain CT. And then I'll have an appointment with a specialist later in the week.
Unfortunately, bad thoughts have been haunting me since I was told I had to have the CT. I've slept horribly the last two nights because I keep dreaming that they find brain tumors during the stupid scan. It's enough to drive me crazy. And make me thankful that my ducks are all in a row if something bad really does happen. My will and trust are up to date and I have loads of insurance (health ins, short and long term disability, and life ins). Ugh!! I wish I could get these stupid crappy thoughts out of my head and convince myself that it's just an ear infection and it will go away eventually.
What's the excitement all about? That's the size of the 2 suit jackets that I found in my box of "skinny" clothes this morning. AND THEY FIT!! I can even button them comfortably. What the hell?? I knew my size 18 suit was pretty big the last time I wore it (way back at the end of February) but I didn't think I'd skipped right down to a medium. If only I knew where my skirt was. It may have gotten in a Goodwill bag at somepoint. Oh well. I can wear a MEDIUM jacket!! That box also had several pairs of size 10 jeans. Can't wait to get them on. I found a really cute top, too. It's a large and fits almost too loosely. Darn it! I used to love that top.
I wrote a big post before work this morning and somehow lost it in the posting cycle. I have no clue what I wrote, so I'll just try again...
Yesterday, I took the last pill from my initial month's Rx for phentermine. Unbeknownst to me, you have to hand deliver a written presecription each and every time you want to get the stuff filled. Dr. Seberger had put refills on the original prescription, so of course, since I had no clue, I tried to call in my refill yesterday. Got a call just before noon that they couldn't do it. And he's out of town until next Wednesday. I know I'll survive without it. In fact, it will give me a chance to decide if I want to continue taking the phen or not.
I was finally able to break away from 196. Today, the scale was down to 193.8. Yay!! That makes 9.8 pounds in the last 4 weeks. I am very happy with that. Considering I've been sick in some fashion for the last 5 weeks. I will be so happy to get over this shit!!
I go back to see my PCP on Monday. I hope my she can provide some better insight into what's going on with my head than her cohort did. I certainly will never go see him again. I still get lightheaded everytime I stand up. And I'm dizzy all the time...it's like I've spent the last 2 weeks getting off the Tilt-A-Whirl.
In other news, I've been able to do some clothes shopping recently. Wednesday, I stopped by Kohl's for new pants. Seeming as how the ones I've been wearing are all but falling off of me. And what size did I get? 14's baby!!! No W...just plain 14's. I got brave and tried on a pair of 12's, too. They fit. Kinda. I got them fastened and everything without any trouble, but they were way too snug in the thighs. FOR NOW. I picked up a pair of 12 jeans for inspiration. It won't be too long!!!
Unfortunately, one of the pants I bought don't fit. I thought they were the same cut (diff color) as another pair I got, but not even close. They're too BIG!! I wore them to work Thursday and went around tugging them up all day because the one brown belt I own was on the last hole and I didn't have time to cut a new one. I'll either break out the sewing machine to do some tailoring over the weekend or find someone who can do it for me.
I also found the pair of size 14 jeans that I'd bought LAST spring when I hit 210. I was going strong on South Beach at the time and bought them the same day I picked up a pair of 16's to replace the ones my daughter ripped the back pocket off of. They'd never been worn...until today. And guess what!!! They're loose. Not exactly baggy, but they will in about 5 pounds!! Those 12's I bought the other day are looking better and better.
Sometime this weekend, I'm going to scour the house and garage for the one box of size 10 & 12 clothes that I know is around somewhere. I am so excited to get in that box and see what's there. It's stupid...I know!!
Yep, still running around with an ear infection. Thankfully, I'm no worse than I was last week. However, I'm not feeling any better either. Doing anything that requires quick movement or turning my head is pure Hell. That includes driving. I have to be incredibly dilligent in paying attention to what I'm doing and how fast I do it. I've really had to slow down with absolutely everything. At least I don't feel like puking in my shoes every 5 minutes. It's down to about once an hour now.
I've managed to maintain my weight between 195.8 and 196.2 through all this. You'd think I'd be losing hella fast, but it's not happening that way. I've been eating hardly anything. No clue on calories, but I know I'm waaaaay low. I am managing to get 5 of my Smart for Life cookies and a small dinner, but dinner isn't what it's supposed to be. For example, last night I had a pig-in-a-blanket (low-fat beef hot dog in a reduced-fat crescent roll) for 160 cal and a bowl of sugar-free ice cream at a whopping 120 calories. Total for the day?
Cookies - 5 x 80 = 400
PIB = 160
Ice Cream = 120
TOTAL = 680
And that's been pretty standard for the last week or so. Honestly, that's the first time I've actually put numbers down in quite a while. It's no wonder I'm not going anywhere. Plus, I need to get back to drinking my water. I only had about 70 oz (pure h2o) yesterday and I can tell.
Well, I've been home since about noon on Monday. I went to work and practically fell down the stairs every time I had to go down to the restroom or one of the planes. And I DID fall up them once...nice bruise on the shin from that one.
Got in to a doc (not my regular FP, but in the same clinic) yesterday afternoon. After he gave me his personal opinion of phentermine (needless to say, I was not impressed), he told me I have an ear infection. He gave it some big fancy name, but I don't remember what. No antibiotics...just time, moving slow, and Meclizine HCl (basically Dramamine) for the dizziness.
Unfortunately, I HAVE to go back to work tomorrow. I can't stay home any longer, even though I would really like to just stay in bed all day. I guess at least I know that
a) I'm not nuts (in this case )
b) it will go away someday.
I haven't lost anything in the last week, but I'm not upset about it. Nor am I surprised. My eating has been crappy or non-existant. With the nausea, I've just not had an appetite. For example, yesterday, I had half a bowl of cereal, a handful of M&M's and a tiny slice of pizza. Yes, that's it. No, it wasn't good. I'm going to have to force myself to eat again...the right things though.
Yes, I am still fighting whatever bug it was that got me this time. The hacking and all that goes with it has been going on for 2 weeks now, though I'm slowly gettng better. It will probably stick around for another 5-6 days. Usually takes me about 3 weeks to get over this stuff.
I was down another 2.2 at my appointment on Tuesday this week. Not as much as I wanted to be, but no complaints. As long as the scale continues to move in the right direction!
The weather is supposed to be crappy this weekend. I really want to get out and do something, but I don't think it's going to happen. We'll see what it looks like in a couple of hours.
Yup, whatever bug that has been floating around work or the girls' daycare finally caught up with me. I started feeling bleh on Monday. Took some cold medicine before bed and was in a drug fog most of Tuesday. Wednesday, it migrated to my lungs and I've been hacking every since. I was trying to make some phone calls last night, and had the hardest time keeping my voice going. Today hasn't been any better. I've been coughing all day and my throat is absolutely raw. By the end of the day, I was barely croaking...let alone speaking.
I need to be taking Mucinex, but it always leaves me in a fog. I haven't found anything that works worth a darn that doesn't make me feel that way. Robitussin works to stop the coughing, but that's not what I really need.
) since I started getting her newsletter a couple of years ago. Honestly, when the book was first announced, I was skeptical. After a lot of thought, I decided to go ahead and get it. I'm glad I did! No, it's not a natural or whole-food focused book. There are lots of commercial ingredients. But there's no reason you can't make substitutes...I'm sure I will work on adapting the recipes to suit our house. IMO, a recipe is a starting place...not an absolute.
Or make me fat again. That's it. NO particular diet. NO pills or potions. Just a huge selection of recipes to choose from and a daily calorie goal. You know...the way we should ALWAYS eat.
I got brave and tried on a pair of 12's, too. They fit. Kinda. I got them fastened and everything without any trouble, but they were way too snug in the thighs. FOR NOW. I picked up a pair of 12 jeans for inspiration. It won't be too long!!! 
I thought they were the same cut (diff color) as another pair I got, but not even close. They're too BIG!! I wore them to work Thursday and went around tugging them up all day because the one brown belt I own was on the last hole and I didn't have time to cut a new one. I'll either break out the sewing machine to do some tailoring over the weekend or find someone who can do it for me.
Doing anything that requires quick movement or turning my head is pure Hell. That includes driving. I have to be incredibly dilligent in paying attention to what I'm doing and how fast I do it. I've really had to slow down with absolutely everything. At least I don't feel like puking in my shoes every 5 minutes. It's down to about once an hour now. 
I went to work and practically fell down the stairs every time I had to go down to the restroom or one of the planes. And I DID fall up them once...nice bruise on the shin from that one. 
)