One day at a time...One step at a time...One change at a time!

Today I started the half caff with Sweet N Low. Not bad. DH seemed to like it too, but he drinks his black...so no real difference for him. I have paid bills today, and now I am just waiting for the guy to get to work at Nordic Track so I can purchase my treadmill.

I have never felt so defeated on so many levels than this weekend. To recap, one or more of us has been sick every day since October 16th! DH and I were sick all of last week, and still a little this week so far. I called Costco on Saturday to get the dimensions of the treadmill box, to find out that they have already sold all of them to make room for the Christmas stuff! ARGH!!!! Not fair since I was sick the whole week and could not get there to get it! So, the nearest Costco after that is 2 hours away! They had one, but the box and machine is too big to fit in my minivan! So, now I am dealing with sickness, and the treadmill that I want I cannot get now (after HOURS of research on a good model). Then, to top it off...I gained 2 lbs! <sigh>

Today I am doing a little better...physically and emotionally. I found another treadmill that has everything that I want, descent reviews (it is a 2010 model so there are not many), and a price point that I can live with! So, now I am just waiting for "Landon" to get to Nordic Track so I can give him the commission for my sale since he was great explaining the features and answering my questions.

Of course, adding insult to injury to my health this week, my neck started acting up and now my left arm has radiant pain down it to my forearm. Carrying DS, who weighs 25 lbs, does not help either. But, the good news is is that my arm, neck and shoulder doesn't affect my WALKING ability...so bring on the treadmill!!! LOL

The holidays are upon us...Thanksgiving and Christmas are my FAVORITE holidays. I love the way they focus on family! A few years ago, my MIL asked me what my favorite part of Christmas is...I said the gathering of the family. She didn't like that because she was making all the girls a sweatshirt and how was she going to do 'family'. She did great though. She put a gingerbread house on mine! I am sure you have seen the sweatshirts with an iron on and puffy paint...that is what they were. Mine is long gone...that was about 13 years ago.

Today, I am going to try to go food shopping when DH gets home...oh wait...it is TBL night. I HAVE to watch The Biggest Loser...so food will have to wait until tomorrow. We have lunch in mind...chicken noodle soup by Mrs. Grass. And dinner will probably be pizza...not sure if I will do the frozen one or order in. I may just run and get something. THAT would be better.

Well, I think I have rambled enough. Blogging to me is like a running of thoughts. LOL Sorry to all that read!

I am going to work on getting my week ready to lose lose lose!

Happy Tuesday!

Two days and I still don't have a list...

Well, I just haven't felt like making my list. I am trying to be conscious of what I eat, drink, and do...but the truth is, I haven't really felt like caring. Sad I know. I joined Bob Harper's Facebook group and online community of overweight people that want/need to lose weight. I heard about it through our insurance company's newsletter. I don't have the address right off, but if you are interested, I can post it. Actually, I just looked it up... it is MyTrainerBob.com

So, let me see if I can make my lists that were suppose to be homework right now...

20 reasons why I want to lose the weight...
1- self esteem
2-health
(those two are both #1 reasons)
3-kids
4-husband
(those are both #2 reasons)
5-I want to be active again
6-more energy

I really think that is it. So, I guess I really only have about 4 reasons that I want to lose weight. Pretty sad that most of the reasons are for ME, but I cannot seem to do it for ME! <argh>

5 things I am going to change this month...
1-changing from soda to half caff coffee (this I am going to have to mix myself since Ohio doesn't carry it...that I have found anywhere!)
2-more water
3-cook at home at least 5 nights a week
4-start a food journal (I REALLY need to do this!!!!)
5-plan the weeks dinners a head of time and grocery shop for that each week!

As for the list of people that might be interested in losing weight and having accountability...I know a lot that need to or say they want to...but to actually try and hold each other accountable...that would be too much like work. Not nice, I know...just the truth.

I am hoping to go and get the treadmill this weekend. I have the money, know where it is that I purchasing it, and have a means to get it home. Now, I just need to go and get it, and find a place for it in my house!

This weekend is busy...like always. Tonight we are lounging and watching Toy Story, tomorrow is volunteering at church, and Sunday is going to church. DD may be starting her riding lessons on Sunday too. She has been waiting on this for years!!! She is excited, and I am too for her...just not looking to part with the money (since we are focusing on getting all of our debt, including our house and rental properties paid off within 10 years). But, she is only going to be a teen for  a while! God love her, she asks for nothing.

I will update you on Monday on the treadmill status!

I just wish I could get myself on track!

This past week has not been good. I was sick about 2 weeks ago after the kids came down with something one by one. Now, DH is sick and I have a cold. AND, to top it all off, my asthma, which hasn't bugged me ONE TIME since having my son last October, if starting to act up. The whole food allergy thing is happening, coughing, trouble breathing...it drives me crazy. DH and I think it is a spiritual attack because of the things we have been pressing through because we know that God wants us to have and be more for Him. So, still sick, we press on. Hello inhaler, I am your owner. :(

I just cannot seem to get a good start. I want to do this and that...but I just cannot seem to be accountable to do it. And, of course, I want to NOW start the whole WL and exercise thing now that DH's business is exploding and he is working 14 hours a day! It just doesn't work with 2 kids, 3 dogs, and illness!

I found my treadmill, however it is on the other side of town...about 30 minutes one way. I need to go with my IL's to get it because it is at Costco and we only have a membership to Sam's Club. The problem is is that we need to take out our second row of seating in the van to get it home...and the van is #1- the only car we can all fit in, and #2- is the only can that the carseat for the baby will fit in! So, either DH or I need to go alone. He wants me to see it first...and I just want it. It isn't like I can use it while I am there, and if I don't like it...they will take it back...it will just be a pain! The second problem is where am I going to put it?? Right now, our living room is half of a gym and half a room that has been baby proofed and toy central! We want to change the livingroom into a gym, however, I don't want to spend all of my days in the basement when most of my 'chores' are on the first floor (laundry,dishes, furniture to sit on). What to do, what to do?!?!

I weighed myself this AM...178! 178. <shaking head> Just a month ago I was at 170! I keep saying I am going to do a low carb diet...going to not drink soda but drink coffee since I need the caffeine to function, start doing situps and pushups again daily (if only 10 of them each), and this and that...but nothing ever becomes of it. I am just too tired and stress (if that is even it) to do it. When the baby lays down for a nap...I bust my butt to relax and get the chores done or at least started that I cannot do chasing after him! lol :(

Watching TBL last night, I realize that I have a lot that I can learn. To be able to go on there and learn from trainers about healthy eating, exercise, and just the ins and outs of WL is priceless! I know about healthy eating...I 'work' in that industry (www.rondajonesjuiceplus.com), but it is the healthy eating for WL that I think is blocking me...so to speak. I found some Jillian Michaels iFit card for the treadmill that I am going to buy...I get excited even thinking about that, because I adore her and her honesty.

Last month, I made a commitment to eat at home as much as possible! So, I went to the store, purchased groceries for that week, and did it. We ate out twice until the weekend when we are running so much...it is impossible to eat at home. I didn't lose any weight, but at least I ate at home. Small baby steps. We are trying to pay off all of our debt (including our mortgage and two rental house mortgages) within 10 years! It is a lot of debt just in those for 10 years...but very doable. This is a way that I can see it going quicker.

I thought that I could make November a "new month" and start from the beginning and get the ball rolling toward my first 20 lb goal...but it is not looking good as of right now...but I DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE THAT!!!! I just need to find the motivation, support, and commitment...for ME! I commit to everyone else's plans and goals...now I need to do it for mine.

I did learn something new from the past 2 weeks...I feel better all day drinking coffee in the AM for caffeine than I do drinking Coke (not diet). I don't have the crash in the afternoon and I don't seem to crave even more sugar. I put milk and sugar in my coffee...but I am sure not as much as in a soda! ;)

My homework for tonight is...
-make a list of 20 reasons I would like to lose weight
-5 things to change this month
-make a list of people that may be interested in WL that would also like accountability to someone else
-menu for the next week.

I should be able to do this...I will post it tomorrow, hopefully!

Happy Wednesday!

PS...did you know that Novemeber is National Blogging Month?

Trick or Treat...can I just get the treat WITHOUT the trick? Or visa versa...just stay off my hips!

I totally love this time of year (harvest, Thanksgiving, Christmas)! It is a shame that I have become a human food vacuum that eats everything unhealthy all the while complaining that she is fat! What or WHEN (when is more likely) am I going to get off the fence and get busy?!?!?! I keep looking at treadmills, saving for a treadmill, and looking at all the features, etc ,etc...but will I actually USE a treadmill if it is setting in my livingroom? My first idea was to watch TBL while ON the treadmill. That is at least 2 hours a week I would be on it...but that isn't really a weight loss routine!

I really think by having the goal of 10,000 steps on the TREADMILL everyday is a good start. I am not sure how long that would take...but I am sure that is more than I do now. So it would end up being 10,000 plus the walking I do daily in my 'work'.

I love Jillian Michaels on TBL. I found out that she has iFit cards for the treadmills that utilize that technology. I would love to get those too. I don't think I could handle her on the show yelling at me, but I will admit that that is probably what I need! lol Plus, she is great at what she does which is get someone to work through what got them to the point where they are and get past it to the new you! I want a new me! I want a new me NOW! I weighed myself today...177 lbs. I have a lot of work to do. I really really really want to meet my mini goal of 160 lbs. by Jan 1, 2010. That is 64 days from now...let's do the math...17 lbs / 64 days= .265 lbs. per day or 1.855 lbs. per week. That is SO doable! (If I would only get busy NOW) I could actually lose more than 17 lbs. if I was actually working on it.

I am going to try to get a treadmill this weekend...pray that I find one that is in the price range that I need, with the iFit technology so that I can have Jillian with me in spirit!

Happy Harvest everyone...don't save any candy for me...I really don't need it!


PS...Looking over yesterday's post...I think the problem was the desk job and then getting married within months of each other. I just became inactive. I married a homebody that only worked out at the gym, but didn't really do much outside that. he isn't 'fat' now either (he has a few lbs to lose, but nothing major like me- maybe 10-15). Before marriage, I was always on the go...now, not so much.

It is a slippery slope!

Hello. My name is Ronda and I have NO WILLPOWER! Now that that is out into the open, maybe I can get on track. Watching The Biggest Loser last night, I came to realize that the people on there have a lot of emotional and physical baggage...and...even though I do not weigh 400 lbs. I too have the same baggage. Nothing like them, but we all have our own crosses to bear (or is that bare?).  Anyway, I am going to put my story on here so that I can maybe see how it all started.

I was only 100 lbs and 5'3" in the eighth grade. All is well, until the older guy I am "dating" stated that I was fat. I dropped to 85 lbs, got sick, got better, went to 105 lbs. Still good.

Graduated after 3 years of high school, weighed 108 lbs, worked, went to school, socialized, and everything was normal.

Turned 21. Started drinking, gained some weight, played pool 15 hours a day (really...15), ste somewhat healthy considering I drank a lot, started drinking too much, and gained some weight (125 lbs). Stopped drinking, didn't lose the weight, but 125 lbs. is still good.

Worked in retail until April 1994, then it was a 'desk job'. Got married, step daughter (4 yo), no more playing pool until all hours, gained a little more, now at 135 lbs. Still good though...but on the upper end.

Had first child in March, 1997. Lost weight at first, then gained 70 lbs...DD was born weighing 7 lbs. 10 oz. (where was the other 60 lbs??). Stayed home with her until she was 3 months old, went back to work at 135 lbs.

Quit my job to stay at home in April 1998. Came home weighing 170 lbs. Darn Taco Bell!

In February 2004, weighed 204 lbs! Not good, joined WW and lost 10 lbs in 9 months!!!! NINE months! Quit WW after that and lost 20 lbs more over the next year and a half. (times are approximate at this point).

Had second child October 2008. Gained 10.5 lbs (170.5 lbs)...YEA!!! DS born 9 lbs, 1 oz...a week later I was 155 lbs!

Fast forward to October 2009...177 lbs!

I know that a lot of it is sleep deprivation, maybe a little depression, and the whole fact that I just cannot get motivated so that I can spend the time on myself and FORCE people to respect that. Example...I watch ONE show every week...The Biggest Loser...and I have to watch the baby during that time so that DH and DD can usually watch a movie. I miss half of the show, and am so exhausted during the second half I am usually eating! I have been wanting to buy a treadmill...cannot find one online that has good reviews and a good price...and I don't have time without dragging 2 kids with me to go look at one in the stores (but then I still have to come home and look it up online to see how it is rated). I need to do something!!! Here are the pro and cons of my DIET life...

PROS
-I am still nursing (burns calories)
-I am being conscious of what I eat (even though I still eat it anyway)
-I at least have good intentions

CONS
-I am still nursing (makes me more tired)
-I eat even if I am not hungry
-I am a sugar addict

There are more...but you get the point. We are trying to get our life arranged to be getting out of debt...I would like to start a business that actually takes off...and DH is trying to expand and get more money monthly from his computer business. All that does right now is take away more time from the family...and makes it harder for any time for me. It doesn't help when I feel like a huge slacker when I haven't taken a shower by the time he gets home and he complains he has to watch the baby for 30 minutes while I take one.

I think I am going to make a list of goals and dates so that I can work on them. Like #1- get a treadmill by the end of October...that would be a good start. At least that excuse would be gone!

I will work on those mini goals...and I will publish them here. Please post comments and let me know that I am not alone!!!!

Fun filled weekend...

We did our normal activities this weekend...church and volunteering, however, this weekend we spent the afternoon at the pumpkin patch. It got a little cool when the sun went in, but we still had a great time. DS's first hayride, pumpkin cookie, apple cider, and PUMPKIN! Well, a gourd! lol We just got him a mini pumpkin gourd and DD got a huge pumpkin.

I did ok on the diet front...but I could have done A LOT better. Well, today is a new day! I need to go out and get lunch later, and I am trying to think of a healthy meal...no numbers...only kid's meals!

Today I am going to try to get some much needed cleaning and chores done. I am hoping to stay busy...more busy means less eating!

I am making chicken and cheese ravioli for dinner and garlic texas toast...only one for me though!

I am off to get busy...happy Monday to all!

Four pounds of water?

Four pounds lost this week. I think it was water weight. I am trying to stick to my 'list' of changes for right now, but I did have about 1/4 cup of smashed potatoes from Texas Roadhouse last night. DH and I usually share a meal when we go out to places like that, and last night was no exception. I just need to remember that when I go out to places where you order with a number...my number is a kid's meal! LOL I am going to try to start cooking at home at least 4 nights a week because one night is always pizza. But, I may even just get frozen ones because we really like those better anyway!

Today I am just trying to get a bunch of stuff out of the way that I am trying to finish. We are meeting with a financial person tomorrow that is going to help us see if we can save money anywhere in our budget so that we can get out of debt quicker. It is a service that we have through this new church that we started attending. I am hoping that his 'really excited about this plan' is really exciting and not a huge sales pitch! He goes to the church though, I know where he serves, so I am hoping I don't have to stalk him! ;) They are doing a tax audit too of the past 3 years to see if we have money coming to us that our accountant did not catch. I PRAY they find 1000's of dollars!  Of course, I have to copy those tax returns and 2008 is 28 pages long!!!!

On the diet front, I have eaten pretty good. I am trying to go with high protein, cutting DOWN my carbs...not cutting OUT my carbs. i am not a huge fan of no carb diets...they do a whopper on your body.

I really should go and work out by doing something...but I just have a ton of stuff that I would like to get finished!

Happy Friday everyone and have a great weekend!

Sigh...such a long process...

One day at a time, One success at a time.

Today was a pretty good day. I was feeling a little yucky this AM when I woke up, but I prayed and commanded this sickness to leave...and it did. Praise God for His power! After that, I felt so good that I decided to do a few things that are not really pressing, but was at least accomplishing something. First, I cleaned out the top drawer of my nightstand (took all of DH's stuff out of there, and shoved it into his nightstand)! Then, I decided to see what was in the middle drawer. Nothing really to throw away, so I just straightened it up. I didn't touch the bottom one because that is just the heating pad, etc. After that, I decided to finish reading the book I was almost finished with...Fixing the Money Thing (Gary Keesee). I finished that and will have to admit that this is the first book that I have read cover to cover since my son was born a year ago. I usually don't even get the magazines really "read". So, that was a HUGE success. (In case you are counting...I am at 3 successes today so far!!) After all of that, I made a phone call that I needed to make and got all of that ironed out...success #4! When that was done...I took a short 30 minute nap because DS was not up yet!!

Throughout the day, I worked on chores that have been building up this week because of my illness (and taking care of the kids and their illnesses). A lot of little things done.

My biggest success?? I went to Wendy's for lunch and ordered a side salad instead of fries! Not as good...but one step at a time. Now, I need to figure out what I am doing for dinner at 8 PM!

One step...that I all I need to keep doing. Small steps take you places everyday...and so will these.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?!?