Tomorrow will be the one week mark. I've done well and worked out every day that I planned, so I'm proud of that. Eating hasn't always been the best, but I'm doing a lot better than before. I'm all dressed and ready to work out, but I wanted to make sure I checked in here first. Chris was supposed to come out and see me July 7-10 but we decided that it would be better if he came out during his August break, which is near both the girls birthday's. He booked it today with me on the phone. Even though I'm bummed I don't get to see him yet, at least I'll have another month to lose more weight before he sees me. Without Phentermine it's a slow loss, but hopefully it will be a steady loss at least. I'm down a couple pounds already. If I could do 2 pounds a week, I'd be down around 18 pounds by the time he come for his visit. That would be nice. Well, I better get at it or it'll never come off. Losing weight in your 30's is tough. =(

Quite literally. I had some issues with posting and then got out of the habit and forgot where I even went!! A lot has happened since I last posted in here. I've been dating such an amazing man, Chris, for over a year now. We've actually known each other since we were in 3rd grade together. My mom taught us in 5th grade. Our Mom's were friends and teaching partners for a Developmentally Disabled class. We lost both of them to cancer, within 2 years of each other. We share a bond that most don't. He is one of hte best men I have ever known. He is so good to my children and treats us with love and respect. Nice change from the 13 years of abuse.

 

So here I am, once again, trying to get back on track. Chris proposed to me on our 1 year anniversary, April 21. I had a BIG wake up call...I went into a bridal salon and am too big to try on ther dresses I wanted to. That was embarrassing. I knew I needed to do something. Chris is currently in Ithaca, NY at Cornell University getting his Master's and with no child care, I've had to stop working for the summer. Looking at things positively, which is hard to do sometimes, I have plenty of time to work out!! lol. So this past Sunday I started working out. I always overdo it then get hurt and can't work out for week and then get out of the habit, so I'm starting off slow. This week I'm working out every other day with my YBB DVD's. Then for the next 2 weeks I will do YBB in the morning and run every other day. For the rest of the time I will work out 6 days a week, YBB in AM and run in PM. I'm new to running, so I can't run for a very long time, but I figure getting out is good both mentally AND physically.

 

So for the time of truth...I'm up, BAD, 198.5 on Sunday. Down 2 pounds as of today, and no pills this time. I've enjoyed trying new foods, wine, and new places (NEW YORK!! =) ) and I enjoyed it too much, lol. After the proposal and the dress experience, I knew I had to get my butt back in gear. Hopefully my friends are still on here and I can make new ones to help keep me motivated! I want to be a beautiful bride!

Well, the scale won't budge. I'm working out and it's not coming off. I feel better at least. That counts, right? Remember in my last post I said that I wasn't sure I'd be able to wait the whole week to work out, well, I was right. I just can't start a routine and then stop it. If I do that I won't continue it, and that's not good. So I ended up not being able to work out on Sunday, after 3 days in a row, but then DID on fact work out Monday, and will do it again tonight after I'm off of here. I HAVE to lose this weight. I've seen recent pics of me on Facebook and it's depressing. I know I've looked better in the past year and I want to get there again. I need to get down at least to 135, maybe 125 is a bit much, I still don't know, but I have to do at least 135. That's 20 more pounds. I don't like seeing myself in a pic and feeling ashamed. I'm ashamed of enough as it is, I don't want to be ashamed of my appearance too. I'm really keeping a close eye on what I eat, drink, and the energy I expand. I'm trying SO HARD to do this. I want this SO BAD!

Whoa, it isn't easy. I've really let myself get out of shape. So far I've stuck to the schedule. Now, I have my kids this weekend, so I'm going to have to figure out when I can squeeze in exercise tomorrow since I work too. We'll see if I can. This might be a 3 work-out week. However, I've done it Thurs. Fri. AND just finished today too, so I've stuck to my plan. I'm happy about that. I'm encouraged. I saw my counselor yesterday and I think that helped as well. There is a lot of guilt in me about my situation and being where I'm at, it's hard for me to let go, and I tend to eat my feelings, that's not good. I need to get back into the routine where if I want to eat (out of emotion) I do sit up's or push up's or something physical. At least I'm doing better so far. I had purchased these work-out shorts at Old Navy thinking no problem, they'll fit, I'm not gonna try them on. Well, they looked AWFUL! Even for my own home I wasn't going to wear them. I can wear them now. =) I'd still like to look better in them, but at least they're not all bunched up, lol.

 

So yeah, that's my update. I'm doing better, trying to keep my routine and doing well so far! Maybe once I'm back in better shape I'll have more energy to work out during the week. It seems so far from Sunday to Thursday to not work out. I don't want to get out of my routine. =/ We'll see what I can come up with. I also don't want to burn myself out and then give up altogether either. Well, that's it for now, I have to leave to pick up my kids soon. Hope everyone is doing well and on their way to that dreaded bathing suit season!!! lol.

Try and try again. At least I'm at it though right? I never let myself get all the way back up. I guess that's good, right? I'm still an emotional eater, I really need to work on that. I really wish I was one of those people that couldn't eat when they were stressed. Then I'd be at my goal weight in no time!

 

So today I got off of work early. I knew I needed to clean up the house and do laundry, but you know what else needed to be taken care of? ME! I decided to work out. I THINK I figured out a schedule for working out. Thursdays after I get off work-early, so no kids. Friday, no work, no kids, Saturday no work, (somedays no kids, other days, just do it before kids) Sunday occasionally no kids so I can do it after work then. So I can AT LEAST get in 3 or 4 days a week. That's perfect, from NONE...this is a great start! I'm excited about this.

 

But as for now, I'm wiped out from work and working out, I'm gonna nap now, lol.

I added my weight to the weight log and noticed that I am at basically the same weight I was last year. I am 2 pounds up from where I was last year. My all time low was 139, in December of 2008, but I was only that weight for a week or two I think. I also noticed I cycle through my weights at different times of the year. I tend to be more overweight in the beginning of the year, more near my goal weight near May and June and am in the 150's in the late summer month, like July and August. That's really weird how it is all near the same time of year! I never noticed that before. I love how I can see a trend now. Very interesting! I just have to keep working. I'm getting closer, feeling better, arms are getting smaller, that's a good thing.

I think Mom was trying to send me a message this morning. I didn't have the kids, didn't have to work, didn't have to do too much housework. This was my day to just veg and sleep in. I planned on watching some shows and MAYBE work out. Yeah yeah I know...Booo. Bad Arian. SO! My Volleyball alarm went off..8:00 a.m. weird...haven't had Volleyball in months. I quickly turned THAT off, lol. I got up an hour later maybe. I checked my e-mail grabbed donuts, I KNOW! lol. and popped in my 6 Feet Under DVD, my Aunt called. I was talking to her about going hiking or walking this trail today. She was asking me if I had left yet. ALRIGHT MOM! I HEAR YOU! LOL! So I put DOWN the donut, lol, and got dressed and took an hour long walk. =) IS THAT BETTER??? LOL! I sure felt better. =) I bet you guys are more proud of me for doing that then you would have been for eating an Entemens donut, lol. Just wanted to share. =) Thank Mom for having Cathy call me. It was a nice walk. I might even do it tomorrow. =)

Since I started this year I'm 8 pounds down. I'm only 2 weeks in. Not too shabby. I know I have room for improvement. I still really haven't done any cardio, other than what I do running around all day at work. I'm going to try to add that in. I want to keep improving. I don't want to fly out to my cousin's wedding in New York and be fat. That would really suck. I'm at 160 right now and this really isn't the best time in the month to be weighing myself, but my scale was out of batteries and I was out of money, lol. I finally got paid and I needed to see where I was at.

 

Well, it's Valentine's weekend and I'm still single, but UNLIKE last year, I'm not NEWLY single, so at least I won't eat myself into oblivion, which is where my weight spike started back up from. =/ *sigh* Well, at least I'm on the downward slope instead of the UPWARD slope, like last year. That's a plus. I'll keep you updated.