11/18/2009 19:21
A mini update!
Hi, everyone! I am still here, just very busy and very exhausted. When hubby came to pick us up on Saturday, everything just crashed within me and I started crying......... I literally cried, blubbered and shook most of Saturday and part of Sunday and I can´t seem to get rid of the picture in my mind of my baby throwing up appr. 3 deziliters (that´s like a large glass full) of blood in the hospital........
He IS doing a lot better and gets better every day, thankfully. I was lucky enough to get my doctor to give me an attest for the week, so I can stay home with him. It has put a few things into perspective and right now, I am just doing a lot of thinking. And trying to get some sleep in, as hubby had to go back to Frankfurt early on Monday morning.....
So please bear with me if I don´t write much right now. I guess I am just still trying to get over the shock of it all. Will try to write tomorrow!
11/13/2009 18:51
In the hospital!
I ended up going to the hospital with my baby boy on tuesday night, he had terribly high fever but we went home again. On wednesday, he started bleeding but at around noon, some smart ass doctor still sent me home labelling me a hysterical woman, I think.... so we had to go back yet again on wednesday around 7 pm, by then the bleeding was getting worse and we ended having surgery on wednesday night to close the vein that was burst and bleeding.... he also has some bad infection. So we have been in the hospital since then, baby boy had a blood transfusion yesterday and has been on fluids the whole time. He is a LOT better by now and we have good hope to be going home tomorrow morning. So I will tell more then.
For now, this has been TERRIBLE!! Watching your child throw up loads of blood and getting constantly bleaker and weaker is not something any mother should have to see!! My little chatterbox didn't say a word for 2 days. But he's getting there! Such a little trooper and so brave! I am immensly proud of him!
11/11/2009 09:44
Sick baby
My baby boy is not well, unfortunately. Last night, he suddenly got a very high fever, so I took him to the hospital, just to make sure. After doing a blood test and some exams on him, they sent us home again, as he would rest better at home than there, but with the suggestion to come again today if his fever doesn´t go down or anything starts getting worse. He won´t drink anything much less eat and I am struggling to keep the fever down............. Have hardly slept at all, as he kept waking up crying.... so we will see what happens today. I will keep you posted.
11/10/2009 14:41
All done!!
Just a quickie to let y´all know that my baby boy had his tonsilectomy this morning and it all went great! He was a little trooper and is now lying on the couch eating ice and watching Tom & Jerry - and enjoying being pampered a bit :)
I for one didn´t sleep very well...... I think I was a bit nervous. And I AM glad it´s over! More tonight!
11/09/2009 12:17
Manic monday......
It's monday again, ho, ho!! And I feel like I am in a sinking ship, struggling to get anywhere..... No, it's not quite that bad, actually, but I am struggling. Being alone with the boys, juggling work, pick up hours, managing them alone (my younger has taken to crying for daddy when I don't allow something he wants or scold him - kinda like saying "I want daddy, he's so much better" - PISSES me off, but I have to keep calm and try to remember that he is manipulating me - or rather trying to), having little one's tonsilectomy coming up tomorrow, knowing that I will have to manage everything that comes up with that alone..... plus I had a not so nice thing come up with a customer at work on thursday afternoon, which had a bit of an aftermath on friday morning........... No time to myself or not much to speak of and when I do, I am sort of brain dead and just watch a movie or read a love story - and eat FAR TOO MANY calories. I think my body switched into "survival mode" yet again. And somehow, all I can do right now is get through the days. I am exhausted by night and in the mornings, I take every minute I can get to sleep. Which is a bad thing, really, I need the exercise to even myself out, but just don-t have the energy. NOT so good, I know.
Gawd, this is nice and upbeat, ain't it?? I guess I just needed a rant. Right now, it's all a bit too much for me. I know it is. But there isn't much I can do about it, really. Just try to keep up with everything. Better times will come. I think I will make a call now and get myself an appt. for a pedicure on Saturday.... :)
11/06/2009 09:38
A heartfelt T G I F!!!
Am I glad it's friday!! This week has been rather strenuous, with DH being over in Frankfurt and the boys all messed up over it. They miss their daddy and Adrian's taken to crying for him if I say no, forbid him something or scold. GAWD, that's annoying! Plus, I am not allowed to do anything......... if I go out in the hall to get our newspaper all hell breaks lose. I can't even close the door if I go to the toilet........ Some "me" time would be awesome right now!! DH spoke to me on the phone about all the things he needs to do next weekend - he will come home on Friday and head on out to Frankfurt again on monday, that time only for 3 days, though - and I just told him "buddy, what you REALLY need to do that weekend is GIVE ME SOME TIME OFF!!" Seriously, baby boy has his tonsilectomy on Tuesday, which will mean I will be with him for 4 days and he's EXTREMELY needy when sick. Sorry about all the yelling, but this needs out. So, what I want is to get out of the house a bit ON MY OWN when he's there next weekend.
Of course, this is tactic, too.... make him feel bad - that will make my pressie bigger. Har, har!! Trust a girl for that, ha?
I have been doing a lot of resting and sleeping the past few days and my body thanks me. Is now again starting to feel like doing something again. And I actually ordered my 30 day shred tonight when I couldn't sleep. I hope it will come soon, if I am lucky I could have my 30 days done 'round christmas. Everybody's been so enthusiastic about it, I am really excited to try.
Well, better get to work now!! Have a great friday, y'all!!
10/31/2009 18:10
Some courage!
Sometimes speaking up for yourself can be a really, really good thing! What I didn´t mention in my last post was that I did manage to say - ok, sort of blurt out - that this wasn´t a very nice thing to say - especially to someone who has some major issues with weight etc.
Why? Well, just before the workday was over, my colleague came into my office and apologized. Also for not coming earlier, she´d had an excel course the whole afternoon so she hadn´t been able to!! I could tell she was genuinly sorry - she does tend to speak before she thinks and she didn´t mean anything by it. She also said "surely you can´t think you are fat??". So it turns out it was just a silly, thoughtless joke on her behalf and she said she wouldn´t have thought about it anymore and would not have known she hurt me hadn´t I said something about it. She also said she admires me so much and doesn´t think she could manage half of what I have had on my plate for the past couple of years.......... So standing up for myself did pay off :)
I just wanted to thank all you sweethearts for the wonderful comments you made on my blog. It felt so great. And I really was devastated when it happened. I am glad we managed to work it out, because that woman really is very sweet and a good friend - which I think was the reason for her comment touching me so badly.
Along with the fact that a lot of stress has been slowly melting off this week.... I was under a lot of strain because of my DH situation and his not having work according to his qualifications. Now he finally has one, and it´s really interesting, he spent the week in Frankfurt for work and will be going back there on Tuesday. So, he finally has the work he really wanted. And I can finally say "hey, it really was a good idea to move over here". Of course, when things start going better and the strain starts to go away, the wounds uncover and so it was easy to hit the sore spot yesterday. Today is better - a lot better!! :)
10/30/2009 13:48
Hurt speechless.....
I am afraid I have to admit to having behaved not very gracefully about an hour ago. We are going to have to switch offices here at work, and will be going into much smaller ones temporarily because of some reorganisation that is going on. Anyways, we were talking about how and when it would be best to do it and who was supposed to go where etc. In one of the teeny offices, it is possible to turn the desk around to have the computer standing differently, so people can't look at what you are working on over your shoulder. It would just mean that the space you have to get around the desk isn't all that big. Now, I work with two teeny, 5 foot 2 gals. I myself am 6 feet tall and have a body to go with that - plus the fact that I do currently have some pounds too much. In any case, one of them says "well, it's obvious that E goes there........" with a meaningful little glance and a giggle. So they all started laughing. I mean, of course it meant that my teeny, skinny co-worker was the obvious choice. I mean, I will never get to be her size, no matter how much weight I lose. So.... I kinda lost my head, said it wasn-t a very nice thing to say to someone who is so insecure with her weight and just ran off. My phone had just rung, as I was meeting my mom for lunch. But still, it wasn't very dignified, was it?? But my options were that or starting to cry....... so I opted for bolting out the door.
Now, I KNOW it wasn't at all badly meant, they were just bantering and making innocent fun. I know that. It just doesn't change the fact that this is a major issue with me and it plain hurt. Badly.
What would you have done??
10/29/2009 15:17
Am here!!
I haven't vanished!! I am just very busy, with hubby currently being abroad for work, he returns tomorrow, and I was just very washed out after all the sickies last week and weekend........... I will orderly resurface very soon, promise! For now, I just wanted to let you know I am well - just busy and a bit tired.
which is terrrific - I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful that is - but will keep him away for quite a lot now. He left yesterday again for Frankfurt and will be there untill Friday next week. On tuesday next week, my baby boy is having a surgery, they're taking out his tonsils..... So I will be lone during the rough part of it all. DH will have to go back out around Nov. 20th for some days and then very probably again in early December. So, I will be a bit of a loner during that time. But I will be fine, I always am :)