... I just can't leave it. After this week, I am really NOT going to log my weight all the time and I am going to try my best to weigh in only once a week, but right now, it really does me good!! I lost another 300 grams today, so am down to 92.5 :) Wich means I am down to 203.5 lbs and hav lost another 0.6 lbs :) So at present, it's simply good for my soul.
And I am getting close to my first little goal...... which is to reach 91.6 kg's. What number is that, you may ask? That's my 10%!! I know I have been on this journey for a loooong time. Almost a year and a half. But that's ok, it can take time and the road is the goal! But it's good, good, good to see that progress is finally coming along nicely again!! And I really feel so good about all this!!
Yesterday was a day off from exercising and since I have to do a lot of housework today, I think today will, too. I will also be going outside to play with the boys in the rain. So that's ok. Tomorrow will see me working out again.
I did well yesterday. We went to my best friend's son's 1 year birthday party and she had loads of goodies there as I knew she would. I only had one little service and made good choices. And it was also fine, because I had planned it into my day! So 6 days OP, today will make them 7! And babysteps towards my new jeans. Yay, me!!
.... at least sometimes!! My official weigh in isn't untill next wednesday, I know that, and I did plan to stay away from the scales. But this morning I did peek. And I AM going to log that!! 82.8 kg's!!! YAY!!! I am absolutely thrilled about it. And it's all because I have been working well and commitedly the past few days, I have been honest with myself and most important of all, I have been and am happy!! So today is one of those little victories I wrote about in my last post. Well, it's really not small. It's HUGE!! Why? Because even if I did slip hugely last week and make myself very sick in the process, I got up again, wiped my mouth, and the dust of my hands and sprang on again. Jumped on, enthusiastically, happily, joyfully. Golly, even surpassed the wagon and got right on the horse *grin*
Still, my biggest victory this week was to take a bad situation and suck everything good out of it and make that work for me. I am proud of that because it shows me how far I have come in changing the way I think. True, I often enough fall into negative thoughts, but those are slowly becoming fewer and more far between. So, here's to me. To be back on track and well on track. For having 5 days OP to my credit, going on 6 with today. For getting below BMI 28... I am 27.9. But that is a little victory, too. A magic number, you might say. So I now weigh 204.1 lbs. Onederland is coming close. This is exciting. And good.
And I am also opening up more. In my writing. I have been told I am very open in person but somehow I am sometimes a bit reserved in what I write. But that is changing too, as the post I wrote 2 days ago shows me.
Another little victory. I was SO tired last night when the boys had gone to bed, but I still got my act together and did a session with Leslie. That was GOOD!! I almost booted out but told myself I would be happy today. And I am. Very much so. And ready to enjoy my weekend "off" exercising. Have to take care not to overdo anything and I still will get lots of exercise, running around with the kiddos. I do wish I could get some of Leslie's more recent workouts that would work for my dvd player. But we are region 2 here so I fear that will be hard......
Looking at Tatums Mom's really cool avatar (I am a huge fan of the Shrek movies, and Donkey is soooooooo cool) I started thinking today..... it is so true, isn't it? We would all just love to have a magic potion, crash down, go to sleep and wake up perfect. Beautiful, slim, trim, whatever it is we wish for. I know I have dreamt of something like that more often than I can think... some easy way to get slender and fit over night.... And it does seem appealing. It IS appealing.
But then again..... We heard a saying during law learning at my university more times than I can think: the road is the goal. All those tiny little victories.... realizing that I have stood up to temptation successfully. See my face get more slender. See my belly getting less and more firm (after having two large babies, that's a HUGE thing for me). Feeling a pair of jeans getting looser around the hips. Feeling your body getting stronger, fitter, healthier. Feeling how suddenly a 5 minute run is no longer a torture but a pleasure. And then the 5 minutes gradually become more.... 10, 15, 20 minutes. See your skin getting better. Eyes glowing more. Gaining confidence with every little step that you take and every milestone, and may it be ever so tiny, that you overtake. The scale going down.... slowly but constantly. I could go on forever. All those wonderful moments of tiny victories add up to a huge one. And I am not just talking weightloss here. The things in life we really work for and really want are the things that matter soooooooooo much.
So, do I really want to get away from that?? No, I don't. I will admit that I sometimes wish it was a bit easier. And I know there will be moments when I curse at my scales being stuck or because something gets in my way. That I may trip now and then and be a bit frustrated about that.
But if there is something that I have learned over the past few years it's that I am ever so much stronger than I thought. AND I have finally realized I am doing this for me. And only for me. And it doesn't matter if it takes a bit longer. It really doesn't. Every step of the road I am learning something and growing within.
That being said, I have now 4 days OP. And I am happy about it. 4 little victories, that in time add up to huge ones.
So, basically I have two sayings for you today. The road is the goal. And since Jenny in London left me such a sweet comment for my last post: If life gives you (serious) lemons, take them and make yummy lemonade. A HUGE thing I have learned in the past 2 years or so. Thinking happy, good thoughts changes things so much. And taking a not so good thing, like my migraine, and make it into a good thing.... well, that's just a sample of what has become natural for me. And I am a happy person because I have that ability. And thankful for having learned it.
A small summary of my goals. I am happy and smile a lot. I am honest with myself. I have kept to my plan of eating and so far have gotten 3 units of exercise in this week. Yippie!
And now I am going to go and visualize the cool jeans I am going to get for myself sometime this summer. :)
my official weigh in day, so I decided to weigh myself and log the weight I got. Then I plan for a week off scale.... We'll see how long I can keep that up. Probably not as I am a scale addict.
In any case, I weigh in at 94.2 kg's today, which isn't too bad considering the fact that it's been long since I last managed to really work out, apart from monday evening, and also because my eating has been really bad. Especially the 10 days hubby was here.
Don't worry, I am not kicking myself up for that. I accept that this was just a bit of fun (albeit very unhealthy and unwise) and also, I learned a very valuable lesson. Even if some things taste really good, they are just SO not worth my while. Why?? Because they make me sick. Simple as that. And I am not just talking about angry, upset or something like that. Nope, physically very ill. I battled severe digestional problems, being blown up like a balloon, with a tummy as if I was pregnant again and gone quite a bit, with loads of air stuck somewhere inside that just wouldn't come out and hurt like hell, etc. etc. The list goes on and on. I bloated really badly, too. And yesterday's migraine bout was the topping of it all.
So, what does it mean? It means that flour, sugar, yeast, chocolate, any sort of cheese and sausage, chinese food ( ) , aspargame etc. etc. MAKE ME SICK! Plus I have to get myself a pair of sunglasses. Very vulnerable to light, and since I have eye migraine, even more so than others. So basically this means I will really have to watch what I eat and do. Watch my sleep, watch my stress levels, get enough exercise, watch my food.... sounds like a good plan, doesn't it?
Sooooo, I am going to see this the Pollyanna way. It could be a lot worse!! I could have some bad eye disease, but I don't. And having a VERY good reason not to eat certain things (really don't fancy a headache like yesterday) should help me on this journey of mine.
So, this has just made me even more determined. I am going to be good to myself and I am going to be healthier!
To keep myself to it, I am going to make a vow to myself. I am NOT buying any new clothing untill I have lost 6 kg's. Which is going to be hard, as I love shopping for new things, now that I feel I can occasionally do so. A bit in the direction of doubleblessings one-outfit-diet. Not quite, but my work (I am a lawyer and work for customs) won' t allow me to wear the same thing all the time. So this is my moderation of it. And it's great!! It keeps me to it AND is a non-food reward, too!! :)
This morning I had severe problems with my eyes. Two times. It felt as if I was looking at broken glass or splitters of stars or something and it wouldn't go away..... horrible. I couldn't focus my eyes on anything for a while and felt terrible. I have had this before, but it's been a very long time since the last severe case. It was followed by terrible headaches and nausea. Luckily, I got an appointment with a doctor this afternoon (they mostly take weeks or months to get) and went there at 3.30 pm. After having different tests done and different drops put in my eyes, I was diagnosed with eye migraine. In short, migraine that starts in the eyes and then goes over to headaches. So now I will have to learn to live with that. One more reason to stay away from flour and sugar.... those are two things that trigger it, apparently.
Other than that, I did really good today, so I can add a 2 to my count! Yay, me. Obviously, I didn't do any exercises. Was going to go to yoga, but that didn't work out. My parents had to pick me up as my eyes were funny after the drops I got and I wasn't allowed to drive. So we had dinner there and my mom even bathed the boys for me. And now I am going to go to bed to get some rest.
I am so glad my EP friends are joining me on my may goals. To correct things a bit, 2 kg's equal about 4.4 lbs. :)
See you all tomorrow, I hope you'll forgive me for not dropping by today..........
It´s me again! For the second time today. Still missing my hubby awfully (babies cried this afternoon when they realized he wasn't here) and everything, but I felt like a new post today to put down my goals for the month of may. I had planned for more in April, but getting sick so badly really threw me back and of course this last week was pretty bad. But I am just wiping my mouth and getting at it again :)
So, for the record, here are my measurements today:
upper arm: 32 cm
chest 100,5 cm
waist 86,5 cm
hips 111,5 cm
upper thigh 66,5
Weight: 95 kg´s
I wanted to write those down in here to make myself accountable for the goals I have and the things I want to acchieve. So, here my goals for May:
1. Lose 2 kg's
2. Lose 3 cm (don´t care where)
3. Get in exercise at least 3 times a week. Anything beyond that is a bonus
4. Smile and be happy
5. Be honest with myself. That's the only thing this will work.
My hubby left this morning. I miss him terribly already and it was really hard to look at him linger and gloat over our little ones in their beds before he left. He had an early flight so had to leave at around 5 am, and the children were still asleep. Better for them, I think. They knew something was going on and obviously felt that daddy was gone this morning, but didn't want to ask about him. Probably didn't want to hear the answer, I think. In any case, it was a wonderful week, we just enjoyed spending time together as much as was possible as I still had to work all day. Went for walks and drives, and played with the boys. Celebrated our baby boy's 2 years birthday and things like that. And were like two teenies in love. However hard being apart like this is (and let me tell you, it's TOUGH!! It had been 3 months and now it'll be 2 months untill he comes home) - it does make you realize how much your partner means to you. I really dread going home this evening. Having grown used to the luxury of hubby picking me up from work and having his company every evening, tonight will probably be empty and a bit sad. So I plan to do laundry and some exercising in order to keep myself busy :)
This week has been AWFUL diet-wise. But I accept that and won't fret. We did enjoy having pizza together, going out with the boys for some ice cream etc. But it did come back to me. Not only on the scale. I have found out I don't deal with flour too well and bread and dough things are basically not good things for me. Probably felt that even more now, because I had been eating so clean for a long time. In short, I am having some serious problems with my digestion right now. So today is a good day for changes again. And I begin my counting, again, too. Day one on plan :)
Will be back later with my May resolutions. Better get back to work now!!
It is good to have work to keep my mind off things right now, or I would probably be sitting here, bawling my eyes out............
My hubby is here!! Yay!! It's so great to have him and we are all delighted. The boys were a little shy when we arrived home which is normal after 3 months, I think, but were quick in thawing up and have been happily playing with daddy!! And I got a nice moment. His flight was a bit delayed so I was actually there before he came out and could stand there waiting for him. Well, his eyes went huge when he saw me..... hair freshly cut, all dolled up in nice clothes and make up........ and he actually noticed I have lost some weight. In fact, he said it looks as if I lost a lot more than I actually have. I know that's because I have firmed up and gotten stronger, but it was soooooooo nice to hear that. He would just LOOK at me, if you know what I mean. And I could tell he liked what he saw. Now, remember, I hadn't said a word about my working on my body because I wanted it to be a surprise for him and that worked!! He WAS surprised. Actually said that I never cease to amaze him.... with all the work and stress I have and still I managed this. I have quite a way to go yet, but I am well on my way and it's wonderful to know you can tell!!
My hubby's looking FAB, too!! He's lost like 35 lbs since January and had on some new clothes, all stylish and he really looks a lot younger. Yummy *grin* So, needless to say, we are pretty much like two teenies in love here.... well, apart from the fact that we have two little ones playing around.
In any case, it's all I had hoped for and a lot more. I was a little nervous we might have troubles starting after not seeing each other for 3 months. But no. Not we.
So, my dearies, I send you my love from my pink cloud up in the skies. Will be by again soon!!
It´s almost 1 pm here...... in 2 1/2 hours I head off to pick up my hubby. And don't worry, I won't give you too much detail on things *grin* Really had to laugh at that comment, though!!
Soooo excited. Not doing much good at work today, I fear......... So I just went and had my hair cut again. It looks great!! Really, it does. We cut it a bit shorter this time and the back looks really terrific. That and the fact that I actually dressed up a bit lawyer like this morning, in a black trouser-suit with a really nice shirt to it and put on some make up and my favorite earrings.... well, I hope I can make my hubby smile. And I feel soooooo much better today, too. Yesterday was a bit tough, I felt so down and tired, especially in the morning, probably because the meds were still playing havoc with me and also the nights haven't been too great with the boys sick...... but today I feel really great about life again. Full of energy and life and enthusiasm. So I am smiling, I am happy, and I am back on track. AND as a bonus my hubby is coming!! Yippie!! Though it does feel a bit funny, too.... It'll be a bit like meeting again. I can't really picture him being at home with me tonight... I have gotten so used to spending my evenings alone. But it will be great!!
Well, off to do some work now. Or at least try to!
My hubby arrives tomorrow!! :) In fact, this time tomorrow, we should be cozily together in our little flat. We are all really excited about his coming. It'll be lovely to have him around.
I might not be around much for the next 10 days, while he's here..... sort of want to use the time as well as possible. But I will try to give you information on what's going on with us every now and then and visit as much as I can!!
) , aspargame etc. etc. MAKE ME SICK! Plus I have to get myself a pair of sunglasses. Very vulnerable to light, and since I have eye migraine, even more so than others. So basically this means I will really have to watch what I eat and do. Watch my sleep, watch my stress levels, get enough exercise, watch my food.... sounds like a good plan, doesn't it?