~*~Metamorphosis~*~

A Caterpillar becoming a Butterfly

My Profile

  • Name: Svanita
  • City: Árnes
  • Region: Iceland
  • Country: Iceland

My Weight Loss

Height: 182.0cm
Start weight: 99.60kg
Current weight: 101.10kg
Goal weight: 82.00kg
Lost to date: -1.50kg
Remaining: 19.10kg

My Calendar

26
May '12
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My Photos

Before After

Are you kidding me??

Well, another night of not much sleep..... my poor baby boy still isn´t quite well, we had to pick him up from kindergarten early yesterday as he still has severe diarrhea........... by token of which he slept untill almost 10 am this morning - totally unprecented!! I was very thankful, though, as my big boy, MK, spent the majority of the night throwing up and hubby joined him in that sometime during the night. So I stayed up with him, of course, holding the bucket, trying to get him to drink at least a bit now and then........
So, I have a bunch of sickos on my hands right now.
 
I HAVE lost another kg this week - almost 3 lbs!!! Go me! :)
 
I will try to be around again soon - just not sure how much I will manage to do this weekend......

Sickies..........

I am stuck at home today with my poor baby boy, who's got a tummy bug. It was actually bad on tuesday evening and in the night to wednesday.....  In short, I didn't sleep at all untill around 3.30 am and had to get up at 7 am, as I was to teach for 3 periods at the police academy. Thankfully, it was stuff I have taught a few times before, so it went well. I then went home and stayed with him for the afternoon as hubby couldn't stay away from work too long. By evening I was totally exhausted, so I went to bed at 8.30. Consequently, I feel a lot better today!! I am still not sure whether I will be able to go to my pilates class or not, it depends on if I get a sitter for the boys for an hour or so. This evening, me and my best friend are going to the cinema to see "Fame". I used to watch every show when the series were on, so I am really looking forward to it.
 
I am also happy to tell that despite being so tired etc., I have stayed within my points!! Yay!!

Beautiful day!!

I feel great today!! My body has been getting rid of some serious junk in this past week, and just now, during my c25k run, I really felt the difference!! I did week 3 and it wasn't bad at all. So, slowly, but surely, I am moving on!! And it's wonderful. The skies are blue outside and the weather is beautiful. I feel at peace.
 
Really, it feels like I am letting go of so many things - fears, anger, resentment........... I am starting to feel that my beautiful wings are truly in the making and will make themself visible soon!!

Thoughts and challenges....

I am very proud today. Why? It marks the 8th (yes, EIGTH) day in a row, in which my eating has been "right"!  I don´t like to say on plan anymore, because, like somebody wrote to me a while back, everything we eat is on plan and affects us in some way. But I have been counting my points and sticking with them. Eight days may not seem like a lot to many people, but this marks a huge, HUGE milestone for me!! It´s been almost a year and a half since I last managed that. That sounds so sad, but for various reasons, mostly to do with severe stress, several health problems and basically dealing with the fact that I overworked myself for a long time and took a big toll of my health, which I am still building up just made it impossible. Again and again I would start strong...... for a couple of days, but at weekends at the very latest, would crumble down and dive into a caloric feast. Those aren´t excuses, just facts. And I am working very hard not to kick myself for this time. What has been has been and I just have to accept that.  And it really is ok. When I look back at the years from 2003 - 2007, I can only shake my head at what I did. If I would see someone killing herself like I was doing, I would try to intervene. But it is easier to be wise afterwards. So, the past is past and I better throw away the rearview window. The future will be made of the decisions I make today, and I am making good ones.
 
I am not being overly focused on any one set point - well, exept that I really want to keep my eating clean. I feel so much better, body and soul, when I don´t stuff my body with junk and empty calories.
 
Now as to challenges - long term goals - whatever. I have the cutest new cell phone and I keep finding new things on it. One of them is a date calculator, with which I have been having loads of fun lately :)  So I have set up a few things for myself.
 
**edit: when I woke up this morning I had the grand idea that I should perhaps add the weight with which I am working. So, my official weight from sunday for the begin of this whole thing is 97.9 kg's. I am happy to say it's already become less
 
B-day: My birthday is coming up soon - in a bit more than 6 weeks as a matter of fact. So my challenge is to keep my eating clean and count my points as best I can during that time. In those 6 weeks I would like to lose 3 kg´s, which is  500 grams or just over an lb per week. Sounds doable to me. A part of the challenge will be to gradually step up my exercising, without getting stressed out over it and without getting stuck in "all or nothing".
 
Safe into the new year: The new year is now a good 10 weeks away. And it´s a bit of a difficult time, isn´t it, with all the christmassy goodies around. So my plan for that time is to continue working on my exercise routine, to get some quality me time in (2 1/2 weeks off from work will help on that!!) and to work my points around the holiday foods. In those 10 weeks, I aim for a 5 kg. loss, that´s 11 lbs.
 
My funny Valentine: Valentine´s day - lover´s day. It´s now 17 weeks away!! Getting closer and closer! My goal: keep my stride on the way to fitness and preferably be a runner by then.  Also to continue working my points and in those 17 weeks lose 8.5 kg´s. That´s almost 19 lbs.
 
March = fitness: there will be a fitness test at work for the customs officers, a part of their new contract. I plan to take part of that and ACE it!! So, untill then, I need to work on my fitness, endurance and my stretching. It involves running 2 km at a good pace, swimming, some crunches etc. So, alongside with keeping up my points, that will be my goal. I don´t quite know the exact timing for this, but it should be around the middle of the month.
 
April 20th - baby b-day! : April 20th is a special day for me, my baby boy will be 4 years old that day. I owe it to myself and to my family to be the best version of myself. So, untill then - it´s a bit more than 26 weeks away, I plan to have lost 14 kg´s or 30 lbs and be strong and a runner!!
 
Now, all the numbers I have put in there are not strict - I would certainly welcome more!! But it allows for an lb´s loss per week which is very doable and won´t put too much strain on me.
 
So there it is - my commitment to myself and my health. I hope all you dear friends will help me keep up with those challenges I have set for myself!
 
It will all be done with persistance, perseverance and endurance!!

ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!

I am so amazed - proud - happy - delighted - speechless. This week, I lost 3.6 kg´s!! That is 7.9 lbs!! I can hardly believe it! What was that, anyways?? Well, I will take it and enjoy it, that´s for sure.
 
And I have had a good weekend, full of good choices, so I am happy!!
 
I have a few goals and challenges set up for myself, which I will relate to tomorrow, as I just came back from the theatre with the boys. It was great and we all enjoyed it ever so much!!
 
´Till tomorrow!

What a difference.....

...... a couple of days make! I can see and feel me again. Really, I look in the mirror and I look and listen within, and there I am. Me. The way I really am. And it´s a good feeling.
I feel strong now. I have kept my stride even and to the purpose this week and it´s already starting to pay off. But in a good way. Now I really want to see more happen. And I am ready to decline a few things to make that happen. Namely sweets. Really, sugary things happen to be my downfall. But not anymore. This is going to happen. And that´s what it´s all about, isn´t it? Like in Miley Cyrus´ song, it´s the climb. I may stumble and I may trip and fall, but I have the strength and endurance to get up again, dust off my hands and get back at it. I have showed that at least for the last few years......... Life does sometime get in the way and there were times when I just wanted and expected too much of myself. And all that extra strain is now sitting on my hips. But it won´t be much longer. That´s a promise I am making to myself.
 
Now, another topic, so I will get off my soapbox now. :) I just watched this weeks´ TBL. Can I just say WOW!! That was one heck of an episode. Feelings galore, loads of tears on my side again (I´m a wuzzy and love it and tend to cry every time prompted by emotions) and amazement at some folks´ clear view of life and what needs to be done. I tell you, the spirit of the person........  I don´t want to ruin it for anyone, but if you feel like talking about this, contact me!! :)
 
Again, TBL is great for inspiration. Truly it is. I love seeing those folks succeed. That shows me I can, too. YES; I CAN!! It may take me a lot longer, but already, I have come a long way. Through always keeping at it and always getting up and starting over, this amazing body of mine is slowly, but surely getting stronger and fitter. I just need to trust it better, that´s all. Let go of the fear and just be. Let my metamorphosis work and let the beautiful butterfly that I am come out of the cocoon. 
 
I have a calender (self made) on the wall in my bedroom, on which I put smilies for good days and sad faces for not so good days. For a while there, the sad faces were piling up, but I am happy to state that the smilies are getting more and more every day. And that makes me happy!!  Right now, I am concentrating more on eating properly and making good choices. I will then slowly work the exercise in. But I am on a good road and it feels freaking FANTASTIC!!
 
Thank you to all of you dear friends o´mine who take such interest in me and my struggle. Having you here to help me - I know you´ve got my back - helps me so much in my effort to always get back to my feet. I got such wonderful responses to my last post and all of them just hit home. So thank you all! You mean the world to me!

Peek-a-boo!!

Well, guess who's back! And heartily tired of herself, too. I keep torpeding my own efforts and that really pisses me off. Sorry about the language. I have been thinking about that and I think a part of it is that I am scared...... Scared of overdoing anything, and getting shingles yet again (I still have severe pains because of that last episode of that). I am scared to disappoint myself again. I always start off so strong for a couple of days (usually during work week) and then my downfall comes with sweets etc. And I can't seem to have just a bit and then go back. Nooooo, it always has to be supersized and more than one sort. I wonder what is behind all that? There must be some other fear I can't grasp rigth now, underneath it all, that keeps kicking me back.  A part of the whole thing really is overworking myself for years, having way too much stress and definately not enough help. But that just can't explain all this. Seriously, I am at my heaviest right now............
 
So please, will someone give me a hand for a while? I really need to stay accountable for a couple of weeks for me to see that it really does pay off. I know it does, but the pork within is still way too strong and keeps outshouting the skinny girl! And I want that back, dammit!!
 
Sorry about the not so upbeat post, but always always keeping up a happy face and front sometimes gets the best of me. I am a bit frustrated and angry with myself and that makes me not a happy trooper.
 
So here 's to making this week work - and to making the weekend work without falling into a snakepit of high-calorie junk, that makes me even more miserable!!

GAWD!!!

I just came from the dungeon..... and let me tell you, today the running really felt like punishment!! I was feeling a bit dizzy which mainly has to do with the fact that I sorta have mz TOM visiting right now. Kinda sorta, as he never really makes an appearence because of the BC I am on, apart from the fact that the mood swings etc. still get me. Oh, well, I guess I am still getting used to this. In any case, my arms felt a little numb and I generally felt a bit out of sorts today. Every running interval was something to push through. But I did and I am really glad I did, even if my lower legs are now grumbling big time. Part of the reason is that I haven't done anything really exercise-y since thursday night and had a nightmare-ish weekend concerning food and temper............
 
All in all I feel a bit grumpy-frumpy today. Guess it's some sort of pms. Geez, I hate that!!

Day 5/95 alias TGIF!!

I ended up coming home so terrible late yesterday, as I went grocery shopping/monthly shopping right after a terrific pilates class and then met up with hubby to help him pick a new winter coat. Do I sound braggy if I say he looks hot in his new coat?? I mean, he does! The 40-something lbs he kicked of last year have stayed off and he is quite gorgeous!!
Anyways, we came home late and I am happy to report that I made good food decisions, despite the fact that it was late and I ravenous! Piece of tost with ham, some dried fish and fresh, yummy grapes. Spent a while stitching away on my beautiful mandala which is coming along nicely and is going to be totally BEE-yew-ti-ful!!
 
Today is rainy and icky outside......... and I am tired and so ready for the weekend to come.
 
Well, better go, will be on again tonight, have a verdict to finish!

Day 4/95

PMS-er, I hear ya hollering................ I am moody, jumpy and craving ridiculous things. My skin is a bit funny, my tummy feels swollen........... need I go on? Since getting the spiral, I am slightly irregular, so I don't know how much time this will take, but I sure hope it'll be over soon. For my sake as well as others'!! I do work with my cravings well, though, so far, the skinny girl's megaphone is working good, overpowering the porky grunting in there :)  I hear her now " come on, you know you don't want that, tomorrow you will be glad you didn't". And she's right!!
 
Well, more on new month etc. later!!

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