11/20/2008 10:06
In your face, gremlin!!
I am so proud of myself!! Day 4 OP and I am going soooo strong!! I have been exercising every day, sticking to my points, making good decisions!! Just now, I was soooooo hungry. So, I went and got an apple!! Yummy, healthy and a 0-point fruit, too!! Yay! Just a little sign of how things are changing.
Last night, I worked on some goals, minigoals and rewards for myself and I feel good. I feel strong, powerful, positive, happy!! My long term goal is to have reached my goal by the end of May next year. Possible and realistic!!
Yay, me!!
11/18/2008 14:20
Day 2 completed!!
So, I am working my way towards all of this.I have been enjoying my soup for 2 days. Yes, really enjoy it. It tastes good and I know it will do me good. This evening, my hubby cooked a lovely meal of fried mushrooms and lean pork with some baguette. I only had a tiny slice of the baguette, a small piece of meat and some ´shrooms, after having a plate of the soup beforehand. And I have points to go to get a glass of milk before heading off to bed and even then will have saved 2,5. Yay, me!!
I also just put in 35 minutes of fast firming. Gosh, I feel tired now. But it´s good tired. It´s make you sleep tight all night tired. It´s the sort of tired I need to be, after spending months with being tired in my brain (make sense??) but often enough bodily not tired enough to sleep well.
For tomorrow, I plan to get up at 5.55 and do my round of exercise before I head off to work. I would usually do my round at noon, as wednesdays are normally my at-home days with work. But there is a project going on tomorrow morning which I would love to see, so I am switching to Thursday.
I spent quite a while last night working on my ww things. I printed out a bunch of stuff and ordered it into a folder and really went to work. Read a few things, made notes, made plans. When I shut down my puter I am going to sit down again and write down my goals and my rewards
I am soooooo glad!! Finally, my mind has again managed to accept the fact that there is no easy way to do this and to embrace it, too. I have 2 days OP to my credit now. Absolutely OP, no restrictions. No I just stayed away from sweets OP or anything like that. I stuck to my points plan, I stuck to my work out plan and I am positive and happy.
Along with this, I am working on good habits for myself. I am taking better care of my skin. I sometimes just listen to some relaxing music. I TAKE TIME FOR MYSELF!
Tiny steps, little changes. But they´re happening. And they are good.
I have long term goals for myself. I am looking to late May now. It seems like forever but it´s going to work!
So here´s to me and a good now start!!
11/17/2008 02:55
Challenge
Hi, everyone!!
I joined Gwynn´s wonderful 7 week challenge - just have to figure out how to be able to send you there! When I figure out, I will post a link. In any case, there is week 1 mini challenges to go with it right now, those are it:
Challenges
1. Journal that food!! -- We all know how important it is to write
down the food that we are eating so that we can be moe aware of what we
put in our mouth. It is always more fun for me to journal if I have a
pretty pen (like purple or pink) and a nice journal with some design on
the paper.
2. Get moving!! -- It doesn't matter what you do (dance, yardwork,
clean house, etc) just make sure you are moving your awesome body.
3. Journal your emotions!! -- Along with your food journal just make
a note of how you were feeling that day. A lot of us overeat when we
are stressed, happy, depressed, or angry. Having a record of just how
we are feeling on each day will help us to see what these emotions do
to our eating.
Aren't those great?? I really love them!! And this is just what I need right now!! I know I need to journal my food more than I do so far and I really need to write down how I feel. That would help me get away from days like yesterday when I was just frustrated and angry and generally pi***** off. And I overate. Hugely. Without shame (at that moment) and seemingly without limit! Honestly, I don´t even want to count the calories. Let´s just say it involved pizza, chocolate cinnamon buns (big ones, two of them), sweets, lucky charms etc. etc. Yeah. Bad. Very bad. I got the check for that this morning. I haven't been this heavy for 2 years. 
But it's ok, I am not kicking myself for it. I have a plan.
I am not going to pity myself anymore. "I am so stressed and have so much to do and deserve something nice" just won´t do it anymore. I do deserve something good. To be healthy and happy. And feel good about myself! So off I go!
I got up at 5.55 this morning and did my 2-miles with Leslie. And it was really good. I am starting small and will gradually build up. I have 3, 4 and 5 mile programs, too. Then I will take it from there.
I am determined to smile and play Pollyanna ALL DAY LONG!!
I made myself a great, great soup, filled with veggies to clean my system and get myself going. So, yeah, I am off on a good start. I want that CD of Stardusts ;)
11/13/2008 02:40
A truth and a resolution!
I just read Jenny*in*London's wonderful blog and funnily enough it was completely in sync with the thoughts and feelings that have been giggling around inside me for a while now and which I finally let out yesterday. There is NO easy or fast way for this. Just hard, positive, good work and perseverance. And did I mention being positive yet?? It's sooooo important!! Thoughts are things and become true. So I am determined to:
* take life one day at a time
* be patient with myself
* be positive and happy
* think good thoughts
* do good work
This is ultimately what is going to help me get to where I want to be. A healthier, stronger me.
So, I am going to not look at the scales for a bit, as I know I always go up at first, especially when I work out. And I am going to make a plan. Make a commitment. Think of myself first and get my health, my strength and my energy going again. I deserve it and I need it.
So there!! Gremlin, the fight is on!! You may get the better of me at times, but I promise myself those will only be short moments!! Slipping and falling is fine as long as I get myself up again!!
I have made some positive changes already, so the babysteps are coming. Slowly and one at a time!
11/06/2008 03:48
A new month, a new beginning!
After falling deeply and badly on my face, I am happy to report that I am on the right track again! Today is day 4 OP for me, as far as eating no sweets goes. Which is HUGE!! May not sound like it to some people, but for me it really is, as I have lately shamelessly let myself go in that direction. No day without at least a bag of some sort of junk. UGH! And I didn't seem to be able to get out of that mode, either. But now I am. And I have pretty much stayed within my range of points, too, though not completely. But with half the family having had the pukers (which meant I was nurse Betty) and not sleeping much at all for 3 days, I do see the need for some extra points. But they are good ones. Orange juice, bananas, stuff like that. Eating wise I am back to making good choices. Now I have to find time and energy for my exercises again. One tiny little baby step at a time.
Gosh this seems like the hundredth time that I have had to start over - perhaps it it. But at least I do that. Getting out of bad, easy habits isn't easy and hubby and I noticed we were getting dragged into that terrible spiral again. So, one day at a time, one step at a time, I am working on getting better. My body will thank me for it, I can already feel some positive things!
10/28/2008 11:31
Remember me??
Yes, it's me. A little different by now.... I actually went and had my hair colored sort of blondish yesterday..... J.Lo blondish, my hair guru calls it. Hubby is thrilled and I think that I will like it. Once I get used to looking into the mirror and seeing this color, that is. I do think I look quite nice with it, actually. May put up a picture later to show it off.
Other than that, things aren't going too well. I completely let myself go and slid back into a bunch of very bad habits. Sweets being an everyday thing being the worst after not exercising at all. Geez!! At least, hubby and I have realized that now and are pulling the breaks, but I am really closed to being very upset with myself. Close. Not there. I just won't allow it. I will and do accept the horribly bad times, filled with stress, that I have had lately. That said, I will not put up with it any more. So, now I am going to slowly move myself in the right direction again!!
Please send me some good energy if you can!
10/02/2008 04:54
The turtle......
is back! 
That's really quite what I feel like right now, I am terribly slow still and need time for everything I do. But it's getting better......
So my goal for October is getting fitter again. I was doing so well with running and everything and now I feel like a tired little something again. Well, tired tall something
I will write again soon with more thoughts. Right now I am trying to work my way into working again after having been VERY sick for a week. It hit me harder than I thought it would......
09/24/2008 06:25
Went missing.......
..... and now I am sick. It´s not good and I am not happy about it. I have basically worn myself out lately with overly much work, which I have to get done between 8 and 4, as my children go to kindergarten and I must pick them up. I have been teaching a great deal, which is fun and I really enjoy it, but it takes up a lot of energy and a whole lot of time in prepairing etc. Well, I overdid it and now I am at home and sick. I have a cold sore on the lid of my left eye. And my eye is so badly swollen I can hardly open it at all. To say nothing of the terrible pains I have in my face and head because of it, the general weakness and pain in my body (it´s an infection of the nerves so it gets to pretty much everything, especially when the very short, vulnerable nerves of the eye are involved). Plus it makes me depressive, which also has to do with the nerves being badly infected. And, to sound a bit vain, my looks don´t help. Having the left side of your face all puffed up, the white of your eye brightly red and the lid and lower side of the eye so badly swollen and red that you can hardly open them up doesn´t do much for the self esteem. My poor baby boy didn´t like to look at me this morning. I don´t blame him, I know it is because my eye looks as if it really hurts. Which it does. A lot.
I can just get so angry with my body for failing on me like that. I like to do my best at all time but sometimes I go beyond what my body can take and refuse to remember that this poor body of mine has gone through a lot in the last couple of years and is totally worn out. And needs to be built up again gradually!!
I am sorry for the very lowbeat post.... I guess I just had to get this out. Writing it out is better than crying, as that hurts too much right now.....
I hope to be back again soon being myself......
****
Update at 3.50 pm.
I now know why I feel so down and so horribly bad. It´s not a cold sore. It´s shingles....... 
And I am terrified. I have been there before and I know what is coming my way. And it´s not pleasant at all. I hope to be back in a couple of days, feeling a little better...... 
Please keep me in mind.........
09/17/2008 04:28
Going strong!!
Hi, everybody!!
Hear me ROARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!! Things are going really great and I feel absolutely wonderful!! I have stayed OP for 9 days now and I love it. Well, pretty much OP, sunday was a toughie, because of the dinner we had and a birthday party in the afternoon with the most scrumptious chocolate cake I have ever seen. But I had planned for that and used my activity points for it this week. And was promptly rewarded with a 3.3 lbs loss this week. And that's with all the sport and runs I do. I tend to get heavier when I start working out with some persistance.
Also, yesterday I got a compliment!! From a female colleague! She said it's very obvious I have lost some weight 
That did good, because the scale doesn't really say so..... at least not quite as much as I would like it to!
I am also extremely busy at work right now, as I have a whole lot of teaching to do. Alongside with the normal, day-to-day stuff I have to do anyways. So please bear with me for a bit, this should get better after next week!
09/09/2008 09:05
I am back!!
I am back, girls! Really, I am! I am still processing some thoughts and plans, but I also decided it was time to do something. So, I bought myself a 3 month phase with weightwatchers online, simply because I realize that even if I am mostly able to cope on my own and without control, right now I just simply can't summon the strength to do that. Thus I decided to help myself along a bit by having that extra pressure. I want nothing more than to be healthy again and feel well in my body. And having that online thing that I actually pay for using should help a lot. So far I do very well with it and today marks day 2 OP.
Also, this kind of gets my inner motivation going. I am a bit of a competer, especially against myself, and so I plan to go very clean on this. I have 12 more weeks until my 32nd birthday and I am determined to have a big change in my body and my overall feeling untill then. i would love to be able to treat myself to a bit of a shopping spree on my birthday - in a smaller size than right now, preferably!!
I still have a few little ideas flying around in my head which I really want to write down and so have more control of. For now I am set up with a good skeleton of a plan and great instruments to work with. Just a the right time, too, I might add, as my big boy has a severe cold right now, which has him coughing at nights..... subsequently I don't sleep very well. Always a huge danger zone for me, as that tends to let me slip. But not this time!!
