Attitudes are contagious
"Anxiety is extremely contagious, but so is calm." - Harriet Lerner
I have been reading this book called: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown, and this quote really spoke to me. I have lived for a long time with a lot of anxiety about the future, about what career I would like the most, whether I'll ever feel like I measure up, etc. And often my anxiety leads to a sense of paralysis, hopelessness and depression. I have a tendency when something small goes wrong to slip into thought patterns of "Nothing ever works out. Everything is bad. Life will never be good..." and on and on.
I have also noticed these same patterns in some of my family members, and it is really disturbing to me because I know exactly how harmful these thoughts can be.
When I read this quote, I realized that though we do not have the power to control everything in our lives, we can control our reactions. If something bad happens, I can say, "That really sucks, but it doesn't mean that my whole life is bad." I can stop the negative spiral before it gets out of control. I can analyze whether the negative thoughts are accurate, and I can replace those thoughts that are inaccurate with one that is more factual.
This approach has helped me to cultivate a deeper sense of calm and optimism. And I'm trying to portray that sense of calm when members of my family are stressed, anxious, or feeling really low. I am still sympathetic and empathetic, but I try to remain calm so I don't get sucked into the anxiety spiral. I think that I've noticed some of the calm rubbing off, and then we can have a discussion about what are the next steps to take, without being so overwhelmed that it feels like all is lost.
Just as I wouldn't want to spread an infection, I don't want to spread negativity, anxiety, or pessimism. So I'm working hard to cultivate calm, optimism in my own life, so that is the attitude that others "catch" from me.
Have a happy, healthy, and optimistic day!!