I DID IT!!!

The weather wanted to keep me in... but I did it! I walked from my apartment to my hubbys work! It sprinkled a bit before I left my apartment and I was thinking about just staying inside... but then little me above the good shoulder convinced me to go... so I decided to go as far as I can and if it starts to pour, then I would take the closest metro and spend the rest of the time shopping or watching a movie in the theatres or something like that.

 This is how I did it. It's actually a mile shorter than when I mapped it out yesterday because the weather wasn't too nice and I got so tired that I didn't feel like exploring much. I gave myself three and half hours for the whole walk... but even with sitting on benches and going into a few stores (couldn't help myself ) it only took me 2 hours!!

And I did almost give in to  little me above my bad shoulder... I almost bought burger and fries.  It's just that I got there so early! I had an hour and half to kill before my hubby was getting off work... soI bought a magazine to read in the park but that only lasted 20 minutes. So I was just sitting there... in the cold ...hungry. (I packed myself some cucumbers as a snack but that didn't do anything!) Usually I go into Quick or McDonalds there because it's one of the cheaper places. And I was soooooooo tempted... bad little me was doing her job saying things like... you walked so much today you deserve it, blah, blah, blah... so I started walking towards Quick thinking about which burger I want to eat... but as I was about 10 feet away... I decided to just go to the grocery store and buy something better. Yay me!  I ended up buying 2 slices of roasted turkey deli slices. It didn't fill me up... but it was enough.

Then when my husband and I got home we ate dinner... yesterdays left over... the african vegetable dish... with polenta. And then I ate some pineapples for dessert. :) No sugar for today again!!!

So, I think I have it more figured out now. Instead of trying to do something new... I'm just going to modify my before diet little by little until its a healthy diet I'm happy with. I think that way I'll be able to stick to it more... less likely to cheat.

So I'm thinking I'll still eat the same... but for now I'm taking out sugar, bread, and butter. Just taking out those three should make a difference in my weight... hopefully. And maybe later I can decide to eat an ice cream bar or a cookie once a month or something like that... but definitely not now.

I'm a loser... the bad kind!!!!

I lost my battle with sugar.  It won when my hubby came at me with my favorite cookie from the bakery down the street. He brought it thinking that I wouldn't get mad at him about something he shouldn't have done but then forgot that I'm on a diet!!

Desserts have especially been a challange for me since I've been in France cus they're soooo delicious! I love that they're not as sweet as desserts in America yet still mouthwatering good.

I wish I had more willpower... but this thing is sooooo tasty! It probably doesn't even have much sugar in it... but I'm sure tons of butter... which isn't so great either. Its not my usual dessert I fall for... usually anything with chocolate.... in fact its exactly the opposite... fruity. It's kind of like a cookie sandwich with raspberry confiture in the middle.... and the cookie part is kinda like a french sable. That's the best way I can describe it. 

Other than that... I ate an African dish again today. We don't usually eat it this much... but I don't know what's happening lately. Usually we cook African about once a week or so and sometimes not even as often as that. But I'm sure this is the last time for a while... it gets a bit expensive. But, other than the oil... as usual... it's a pretty healthy dish i think... it's a yummy vegetable dish made with fish. And I ate it with potatoes.

I did go grocery shopping today and bought myself some things for my diet. I decided to buy some cauliflower and broccoli and when I got home they were too big to fit in our fridge so I ended up cutting, washing, dividing and putting them in ziplock bags so it would be easier to store ....and eat later.

The thing I hate the most about diets/eating healthy is all the prep time.... I'm too lazy... especially because it's for myself. It's kind of like.... I can easily cook if I have someone to cook for, but if it's for myself I would rather starve or get some take out before cooking. Is it just me, or is this common?

Well, as for exercise I didn't do much today. I think I danced to one song playing in the background while cooking and I walked to the bus and back when going grocery shopping... it was raining. But I'm still planning on walking to my hubbys work tomorrow in the afternoon... only if it doesn't rain again, of course.... cus I hate walking with wet socks.

Can I just give my fat to my hubby? It'll be a lot faster for the both of us

As I wake up this morning and finally get myself into our living room/kitchen (note: our kitchen is literally a hole in the wall in our "living room") to look for something to eat my hubby is on the couch with fresh out of the oven baguette from the bakery downstairs and says, "Can you pass me the chocolate and the honey please?" And I immediately feel my heart skip a beat  as I think to myself... what the bleep? I thought I got rid of all the chocolate!!! F&#_%!!!!!!!!!! And then I realize he's talking about the nutella. DAMN THE NUTELLA!!!! If I'm gonna eat sugar... it's going to be ice cream dammit!!!!  I'm not sure what to do with it yet.... I just hid it until I figure it out.

I did end up eating some of the bread... not much... but no more for now.

Soooo... I haven't joined but managed to find the list of food to eat on the kimkins diet. And I'm really thinking about doing it.... but I'm not sure if I can give up fruits.... especially during the summer. So, I'm still thinking about it.

And I checked out the site http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/ that I found out about from BellyDancing's website. And it is cool!!!!! I love it!!! You've got to check it out!!! I found out that from my tiny apartment to my husbands work is about 6.5 miles (with a few twist and turns for a little exploring on the way).... I'm so going to do it tomorrow!!!! yeaaaah!!  And it also said that I would burn over 1100 calories!!

argg

It's almost 3 in the morning for me and I can't get myself to fall asleep. I think I ate too much today... although I only ate the bean stuff I mentioned earlier... I ate it all day. One thing I'm actually proud of is that I haven't had any sugar in two days. But I would really like some ice cream please.

Well, I decided to change the name of my blog. I noticed that "My weight loss journey" is too unique and I wanted something more common.

baby steps

So, I've been thinking a lot and I think I have a little more things figured out now. I've decided not to give up dinner with my husband, but the time we eat will determine the amount I eat. I've never been good with eating schedules anyway. Also, I won't deprive myself of the "bad" things I love, but I will limit myself... moderation is key. And finally I've decided to only weigh myself once a week... every Saturdays.

Sooooooooooo........ what have I done so far today?

Well, when I woke up at about 11:15 or so this morning, I skipped breakfast and went straight for lunch.  My hubby and I made my absolute favorite food last night but wasn't actually complete til this morning. Again, it's an African dish... with few simple ingredients... but sooo damn good!! It's quite a process... I found out. First you need beans... I'm not sure what kind they are. I always thought it was made of soy beans until we finally bought them couple of days ago and realized my husband had been telling me they're soil beans... not soy beans. Anyways, short version.... you have to soak them in water, peel off the skin, grind them with pepper, mix in some red oil and salt and then finally cook them wrapped up in foil inside a pot. We didn't start cooking til about midnight... so by 1:30 we wanted to go to sleep and turned off the fire, thinking it probably would be ready.... I was actually planning on eating them then.  But luckily I was too sleepy. Well my hubby wakes me up in the morning before going to work telling me that he put it back on the fire but very low so I could continue sleeping and it'll be ready when I wake up. So when I wake up.... I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning and go straight for the pot.  If I had to chose one thing to eat for the rest of my life... it would be this.

I first tasted it about November of last year. And ever since then that was all I would talk about. My hubby doesn't like to eat out, cus he just doesn't trust outside cooking, so he promised me he would make it for me.... it only took him... ummm...... 7 months!!! But I never shut up about it til we bought the beans.

After lunch, my hubby calls me and is curious how it tastes cus I also found out it was his first time cooking it. I said I would bring some to him for lunch. So I packed it and left for his work. When I got to the metro, there was nobody at the window and I had to buy tickets at the machine... but only takes coins and I didn't have any. So I went back up the stairs... outside... into some little store on the street and looked for something tiny to buy. Of course I ended up buying chocolate and stuck it in my purse but stared at it the whole metro ride. I gave it to my hubby immediately when I arrived. He works at Champs Elysées so after he ate I ended up walking around there. I didn't go any place I hadn't been already but I just wanted to burn some calories. I got bored and ended up at the book store like I always do. But this time I ended up buying a book.... it's called... well it's in french... but, something like... walks around Paris. It gives walking plans around paris including the distance you walk and the time it takes. I'm pretty excited about using it. Hopefully this will help me get out there to walk... even by myself.

So now I'm off to look at the book.....

So Tired...

The weather today's pretty nice... too bad I wasn't feeling that great. It took me forever to get out of bed! And then I finally ate a banana for breakfast.

We need to do some grocery shopping but I don't think that's going to happen til after the weekend. I left my ATM card in my husbands wallet and he didn't leave me some money before going to work. And the markets are normally closed on Sundays... so Monday it is. We do have a market nearby thats open on Sundays til noon... but they don't have fresh produce there and that's what I need. Actually... I can go to the market on the streets I suppose now that I think about it.

I ate a bunch of corn today. I haven't in so long, it tasted real good! I love the food log here but I end up putting many personalized ones and that part I don't really enjoy. I feel like I'm not eating enough calories though.  I'm not sure what to do about that.

I just got finished doing a DVD called Tahitian Cardio. Man! Them hula dancers!! My thighs are hurting real bad. I remember when I used to be able to do this easily... but I feel like I'm doing it for the first time again. Well... ok, maybe not the first time... because I remember the first time I couldn't even get through the whole DVD and I was struggling a whole lot more than today.

I know I said I would go and explore the streets... but I'm kinda lagging on that. I'm not too good at doing things by myself and I think its going to take me a while before I actually start walking around alone. It took me a while to go do groceries by myself too.  And until I moved to France, my brother would even come with me to drop a letter in the mailbox. I need motivation.

This is also my first diet without cigarettes. I've been scared to do diets without them because I only survive because of them. When I quit a while ago, munching replaced cigarettes and now I have nothing to replace the munchies with. 

I should buy some carrots! Maybe that'll help.

Day 1

So, I didn't do as well as I'd hope today. But I figure it's an improvement and I'm happy with that. I actually started the day late, so when I woke up I only ate a banana and a tomato. Today was my husbands day off from work so he decided he wanted to cook for me.  I couldn't refuse. We walked to the market and so I got about a good 1 km in and I would have walked back home but the rain started falling like madness and so we had to take the bus home. I think I might actually be getting sick because of the short walk. I got pretty soaked and was walking around like that for a while before finally getting home. It rained most of the day today.

Well, he cooked and I finally ate lunch at about 3 or so. It was an african dish made of some green vegetable, spinach, ground shrimp powder, dried fish, pepper and red oil. We ate it with african yam. I didn't eat too much, so other than the oil, I didnt think it was too bad.

I did have one cup of ben and jerrys ice cream. That wasn't part of my diet plan. But I know there will be some days I will cheat and as long as I allow myself a little once in a while and not think of it as cheating, I think I can control it. I'm probably not gonna have ice cream for another month at least!

I'm still not finished with the day completely. But I'm only gonna eat a little bit of pineapple now and that's it before I go to bed. I took an unscheduled nap which actually turned into about 3 hours of sleeping, and I feel it's too late for dinner... so I lost that today.

I did do some research today and I'm still not completely sure what my diet is going to consist of, but I'm thinking it will revolve around the negative calorie foods. That is all I've figured out for now.

I actually lost a little bit of weight today but I'm not sure if it's gonna be good for me to weigh myself daily. I usually get very frustrated and impatient when I do that. I don't know... when dieting, how often does oneself weigh in?

FIRST!!!

I've struggled with weight all my life. I'm not currently at my highest, which was 290 lbs. but I still am considered obese according to the numbers. My husband is happy with the way I am and doesn't want me to change (which I'm greatful for)... but I'm not happy. Dieting has been an even greater challenge ever since I got married because my husband is always trying to gain weight while I'm trying to lose weight and because of his working schedule we always eat dinner late.

After I moved to France, dieting went completely out the window. And I can't find the nutrition label on all the things I buy, so it's hard to count calories sometimes. At first I was losing weight no matter what I ate because I no longer have a car and have to walk everywhere.  But then after losing about 20 lbs. I'm just maintaining it really now. And eating the type of food I do doesn't help much. The food we eat is usually French or African. And the French use too much creme and Africans use so much oil in everything. At first, being an American, I would cringe at how much oil my husband would use while cooking dishes. I mean, I used to only use olive oil and as little as possible... but now I eat it all, sometimes even grabbing a piece of baguette and soaking it with some of the oily-sauce before putting it in my mouth and onto my body. I need to make some major changes!

I never used to eat much... I would just eat all the wrong things. I would never eat junk food, like chips, cookies, etc. And as much as I love chocolate, I controlled it very well. I just loved fried foods, especially mexican and I never cooked. So a normal day would usually consist of only 2 meals but very fattening. After I moved to Paris, I noticed my eating changed to eating healthier but doing A LOT of munching. I'm constantly snacking on sugar loaded junk throughout the day. I once finished a medium sized nutella bottle all by myself in less than a week.  I never used to be able to eat nutella with a spoon!!!  I'm thinking because of my increase in daily activity my body is needing more sugar.... but this is ridiculous! and it doesn't help my figure either.

So......... I've decided to really do it this time. I'm gonna really lose weight and keep it off. I've already warned my husband that he's gonna have to eat dinner alone for a while.  I've been doing a lot of research online, specifically after I heard about the kimkins diet and I came across others who are very inspiring and have given me motivation. I'm starting first thing tomorrow morning (because it's about midnight for me) and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to be eating during my diet yet. All I know is that I'm gonna be eating healthy and writing everything down.

Another thing I've decided to do is explore Paris as simple daily exercise. I've been living here for almost a year now, but I rarely go out because you can't be moving in Paris without money and I'm always on a tight budget. But exploring doesn't have to cost anything especially if I'm doing it mainly for the exercise. I'm sure I can easily get in 3 miles or even 5 a day without even noticing. Then soon after I will work myself up to going jogging.