2.6 Loss

The scales are finally turning after 3 weeks of going down the wrong way on a one way street 

Again I find myself blog surfing.  Ladies yall are a great bunch of people.  It would be great if I just had one of yall near me so we can excersize together, grocery shop, switch recipes....unfortenately that is not the case.  Ya'll make all the difference.  The motivation yall give and the inspiration its amazing.  Anyways wanted to say thanks to all of yall for being there for me.  Even for those who don't comment, just the stories you share and to know I am not the only one out there going through this is motivation.

Well chica's and chico's I will be going to PR manana.  See yall when I get back! 

Energetic

I have been taking vitamins for two weeks now right before I go to bed.  Let me tell I have noticed a difference in energy.  I am up before my alarm goes off at 5 am and full of energy and ready to tackle the new day.  Unfortenately by the time the afternoon comes I am dragging. 

I am packed and ready to go on Vacay!!!!  Going to hit the beaches, the mountains, do a little dancing, a little eating  (you can not go to Puerto Rico and not eat their food!)  Some swimming and snorkling.  I am so ready to go.  Yet at the same time its sad.  because I am going to see my grandmother who also lives there and she has been very sick for many years and its just getting worse.  She has told everyone she is very tired.  And I am scared that I am practically going there to say goodbye to her.  I cannot travel that often and.....well God only knows this might be the last time I see her.

She has lived a very fullfilling life.  A loving husband, 16 children (yes all are hers and her husband) What can I say they didnt have TV back then.  Dad is the oldest of the 16 at 54 years old.  My aunt is the youngest at 30 years old.  We have always been a close family even though they fight like cats and dogs.  But thats life withen our family.

So putting the sad part of the circle of life aside.  I am in need of some time off and rest and relaxation.  Maybe this will do me some good. 

Thoughts

I have been blog surfing.  Seeing everyones successes.  One that I read met her goal today!  That must really be exciting!  Some of their stories got me thinking.

One young lady wrote about what she misses in regards to food since she started dieting.  I started thinking well what do I miss.  To tell ya the truth I  do not miss eating them.  My favorites were mcdonalds breakfast and their double qtr with cheese,  Oreos, chinese food.  But what I eat satifys me and I do not really miss or crave them.  I eat basically the same thing during the week. cereal or cheese sandwich for breakfast, fruit, tuna and crackers for a snack, big ass salad for lunch with a cup of soup, and for dinner it varies.

I just think that I am not excersing enough. At work I will tell myself I am going to go home put some comfy clothes and go for a walk with my crazy golden retriever.  I get home, I put on comfy clothes by then its 6:30pm I start cooking dinner and we sit and eat dinner almost 8pm.  By then if its not already dark its getting there so walking around the neighborhood is not an option. (my neighberhood is not the best place to be out at night)  So thats when i put in my work out videos.  But I feel like they are not enough.  Especially since the scale is not going anywhere but in the wrong direction.

One lade walked 6 miles a day and broke it up in 2 mile intervals.  That would be nice because in TX I actually walked in the afternoons with my dog and it was very relaxing.  So to do 2 miles in the morning would require my ass getting up at 4 am.  Which its still dark outside (not good idea)  Lunch time I really do not have enough time to walk 2 miles but I do walk to the grocery store down the street to get my salad everyday and back.  But that is not even a mile.

My husband tells me I do not want it enough to give it my 100%.  He says I am giving a 60% at best.  Well that is very motivational.  He wants me to do this on my own and I want someone to do this with me.  When I pull into my neighborhood I see lots of people all different sizes walking, running, and riding bikes.  But they all do it in groups of two's or three's.  So apparently I am not the only one that wants and excersize buddy.  While in TX I always had some to excersize with me.  When I would go to curves I had my next door neighbor and when I went to profitness I had a friend of the family.  Here in MD its like no one wants to go and try to lose weight.  And my entire family has love handles. 

So apparently I am going to have to motivate myself or else this is going to go no where fast.  I have tried sticking pictures of beautiful models all over my home.  Especially on the fridge.  And as bad as I want to look like that and not hurt when I move, and be healthy.  I can not make myself do it.  (outside of my videos)

Anyways today has been a day of thinking, evaluating, so there will probably be another entry to my blog soon.......

Soreness is gone!

So I think I will try swinging at the ball again today.  If I practice a few times week for an hour I might just get the hang of this. 

In regards to me losing weight and my health.  I continue to take my pills and much needed vitamins.  During the week I am pretty much OP every day.  Its still the weekends that kill me.  As far as excersize goes, I practice golf, take the stairs, and do my excersize videos on the nights I do not golf.  Trying to drink my 64oz of water.  Though I do admit I do not do this all the time.  I do not know if any one knows about this subject.  But if my body is retaining water, doesnt the more water I drink the more water it retains?  That doesnt mean I am going to dehydrate myself, but maybe I should drink as much?  Any comments or suggestions?

I am hoping, since I know I will be alot more active in Puerto rico, that I might come back a few pounds lighter....  We will see.  I will be walking the beaches, dancing, hiking through the mountains and God only knows what else.  I am ready!

My husband also told me that when we get back we are going to do the walks.  My WW meeting groups has occasional walks for cancer or other things like that rangeing from 3k-5k.  And the hubby says he will go with me on those Sundays.  So I am excited about that as well.

One thing is to say you are going to do something.  Another is to actually do it.  So we will see how things go when I get back from vacay!

golf my way to thin?

Ok I do not know about all that.  But let me tell ya.  Golfing is no piece of cake.  My husband loves the sport.  While we lived in TX so did all of his coworkers.  I remember one time they all got these camaufloge looking pants and hawaiian shirts.  All different colors and they went out to play golf. They were a sight.  But since we moved to maryland he has not found a friend to share his passion for the sport.  So he asked me to play with him. OMG!  So we went and bought me some clubs.  Went to the driving range.  A couple of things:

1st: Do not wear rings. (I swelled up and couldn't take them off)

2nd: Cut your nails (I took chunks out of my arms with every swing.  He offers me and are band after I am bleeding)

3rd:  Make sure you stretch your shoulders, arms and back well. (I could barely get out of bed this morning let alone lift my cup of coffee.  I am hurting so bad)

To make things worse I didnt even clear 100 ft after hitting the damn ball all day.  I did better with the 4 and 7 clubs then I did with my drivers.  When I hit the ball with the drivers I could litterly walk a couple feet and pick the damn ball up again and start over. LOL!

So do I get any activity points for all the pain and swinging I did yesterday?

The Gain

Yes I am back to square one where I started out 2 months ago.    I excersized 4 out of seven days.  Drank atleast 32 or more ounces of water daily.  2 that I know of I did the full 64.  Stayed OP on during the week.  Except I will admit I had olive garden twice this week.  Once was soup and salad.  The second time I actually had a main course. But I didnt even eat it all.  And I gained 2 pounds.  Can someone explain this to me.  I was doing better with no excersize, and with less water then what I am drinking now.

I am extremely upset.  Thats why I have been MIA.  I feel like I am getting no where with this.  My husband suggests that I go try for the lap band surgery.  The way I look at it thats a cowardly way out of this.  Two months ago when I lost the 4 pounds I was 100% sure I could do this with out some one having to cut into me and go through torture for 3 months of nothing but pureed food.  But now that I have gained those 4 pounds again I just feel like giving up and givin in to my husbands suggestion.  But the idea of unnecessary surgery to me just does not sound appealing.

I am very frusterated at the moment.  And my endo has me taking so many pills, I am just sick to my stomach.  She told me that the pills were going to make me retain water.  but 4 pounds in 3 weeks of water??  Why bother with trying to lose the weight if the medicine is working against this goal. 

I even feel embarressed when I go to WI.  I get the same lady each time and she sees slow and steady gains everyweek and she gives me this look like, why you coming here and wasting your money if you are not going to try.  (no she did not say it but looks say alot)

So yes I am also feeling like a failure! 

When I started this I had 3 months before my trip to Puerto Rico which is May 9th.  No I knew I was not going to be in a Bikini LOL!  But atleast I was hoping to be one size less.  Ya know.  And here the trip is around the corner and i am back at square one after 2 months.

disappointed!

Besides my feeling completely blah, I feel like I am not giving this wieght loss thing my 100%.  Especially after the Chinese yesterday.  The new pills that I drink are doing wonders for the diabetes.  But yesterday what  I normally eat and makes me full did not satisfy me at all.  I came home, and was starving.  I had some left over potato stuff that I made the previous day and ate a cup of that and sprinkled some cheese over it.  It did nothing!!  And my husband was in his blah mood so he was no motivation and I did not feel like cooking.  He said Chinese I said ok.  Sesame chicken and fried rice.  And of course since I that is my favorite you keep eating because it tastes great and those pills made me feel like I could eat a horse. LOL!  Now I did try to stop when I felt full.  But it tasted so could I had about 4 more bites.  Then the guilt settle in afterwards.  Today I have done well so far.  withen my points.  But I have had an uncontrollable sweet tooth this morning.  Thank God I just have mini's around me. So I had two mini nestle crunches and a cherry jolly rancher.  I know its not good but that was all I could think about.

What I am doing different.  I went to walmart and bought this 64 oz jug  and  I have been drinking water all day.  And when I finish it I will know I got the days supply in!!  Now hopefully I can control how I feel at dinner this afternoon.  Again I do not expect a good WI tommorow. That is also upsetting.  But I do it to myself.

blah

I have been MIA for a few days.  Just feeling blah.  I had my WI on Wednesday.  I did not gain the entire pound that thet doctors scale showed but I did gain half a pound.  I know its not much or a big deal but its still a gain.  And I was so close to my first 5 pound mark. 

Anyways I have been really busy at work lately.  This week was the month end close.  I have been keeping OP this week.  Trying to get all my water in and taking all my meds.  Not much for excersize though.  I cant seem to get myself moving.  I recieved my doctors results on Monday.  Said that my calcium level was a 9 when its supposed to be a 36 and she say that might be the reason I have the starts of spinal arthritis.  Two of my discs have already fused.  But that if I take a vitamin daily that should stop progressing.  Also my thyroid level was two low my bad cholesteral too high, good cholesteral to low.  But my kidneys and liver seem to be okay at the moment.  The was a plus.  She also said that we were on the right track so far in controling my sugar levels.  Crossing fingers and hoping that by the end of this year I will be a much healthier me even if I do not lose the weight that I want.

Hope that all of yall have a wonderful day.  Its supposed to be really sunny and warm 81 degrees out here on the east coast.  Good day to play hookie from work

1 LB :~(

Ok I have a huge family.  My Birthday was last Wednesday.  Since then I have celebrated my birthday for 5 days straight and 4 parties.  I am all birthdayed out.  My husband took to olive garden on the actuall birthday.  My favorite restaurant.  My mom took me out to the Mexican restaurant.  I had one Tamale, Two Margaritas.  And about a handful of tortilla chips with regular salsa.  I skipped the queso to avoid more points considering I downed the margaritas like water  The they sang the bday song and brought me ice cream.  I did not want to be rude and turn it down.  But my sister saved the day by saying she wanted it (shes pregnant) Of course you can not deny a pregnant woman her cravings so me being the nice sis that I am handed it over   It was a win win situation all over.

Then came saturday, my dad made a suprise party at my sisters and invited the whole family.  Another cake.  I ate about a cup of rice and beans and about 5 ozs of a pork roast, two beers. and a small piece of cake that I could not get out of, because my sis told me my dad special ordered it for me and paid out the A$$ for it.    It did not stop there.  Grandmother on Sunday did the whole HUGE breakfast brunch thing.  Food everywhere. 

So where does the 1 LB come in.  I went to my endocronoligist yesterday and I was up a pound 217.  I was so upset.  What could I expect after all the drinking in eating.  It took me 3 weeks to lose that damn pound and less then three days to gain it.

We will see how this WI goes on Wednesday.....

Mexican Restaurant

So today we are going out to eat with the parents, grandparents and siblings for my bday.  They have picked a mexican restaurant.  So I have already decided  that as soon as the food comes I am going to pack half of it away in a box.  Because lately I get full on little food, and the only reason I would keep eating after I am full is because of the taste of the food.  I enjoy it so much I want to keep eating it even if I am exploding at the seams LOL!

So if I put it away and out of sight I will not have that issue.  Then comes to the drinking are their calories in Patron?    When we have gone to this place in the past which is not that often (Thank God)  I normally drink a megarita and 6 shots of patron and then I am walking lopsided out of the place.  GOOD STUFF.  But I also have to take in account that if I am eating less the alcohal is going to hit harder.   So we will see how tonight goes. 

I am just full of energy and ready to party and this weekends weather is going to be great.  Plan on having lots of outdoor activities

I hope all of yall have great Fin De Semana (weekend for all my non spanish speak friends)