05/29/2006 03:33
Again!
Yestarday evening I binge ate again, and this time I lost really control. It started because I was alone, tired, and I had the "right situation".
This morning I was afraid to look at the scale, but I gained only few grams; so I can easily get back in track, but....
But I think that I have really to understand better how is functioning this weight affaire for me!
I noticed that I lose easily 2/2.5 kilos, and then, weighting around 73 kilos, I start to have problems: I don't lose more weight, or I lose it very slowly, even if I diet correctly; then, being tired, demotivated, hungry...as soon as the situation is right, I lose control and I overeat until I regain all the weight I lost...
I think that I must find what I have to change, because just hoping that all this will not happen again is not enought...
05/28/2006 01:47
Pizza...
Yesterday I was starving all day long...Yesterday evening I decided to eat pizza (a good one!), and I felt not guilty for this; it's difficult to explain, but I felt it was good for me...This morning I was afraid to watch the scale, as I generally gain at least 1 kilo when I eat pizza; but this morning I didn't gain a gram! But now I must get back in track, I've been eating too much in these last 2 days. It's just a progress at least not to lose my control on what and how much I'm eating and not to fell guilty if I decide to eat something not really planned in my strict diet.
05/26/2006 11:46
Never be too self-confident!
Today I was near to lose control again; I was very tired and hungry when I came home after work, and I ate too many carbs and too many calories. But this time I was able to stop myself before going too far from track; so probably I will not lose and not gain weight tomorrow. ...I'm not proud, but I know that I did the best I could!
05/25/2006 11:12
Slowly but losing!
This week was better: no binge eating, and I respected my 1200 cal. diet and my 30 min. walking, everyday; slowly, but everyday I'm losing some little weight, and this is very reassuring and motivating. I understand, anyway, that now it's time to introduce something new in my regime and in my life. I mean that I'm just counting calories, but I'm not paying attention to what I'm eating. Instead I know I need to eat low fat- low carbs and to increase my daily activity. Not easy, but I will try!
05/21/2006 09:12
Good news!
I'm staying in my 1200 calories diet again, and I'm losing again the weight I regained due to the "loss of control" and overeating in the past days.
I feel confident!
05/17/2006 15:38
Binge eating
Now it's time to talk about the other big problem that is linked to my weight gain: compulsive overeating. I don't know much about this eating disorder, I'm just learning something about, reading books and trying to find people experiencing the same behaviour and the same pain. I've just learned that "losing control" is not something we have to be ashamed for, but a medical condition we'd take care of. Not yet learned how I can get out of this problem that is with (within) me from my adolescence, and that is getting worse everytime I start a new diet...
I want to talk again of this later, and I hope that there is here around someone that can understand and, may be, needs the same support I need.
Today I want just confess that I compulsively overate for 4 days, and I gained back 2 of the 3 kilos I (having had a so hard time!) lost in the last weeks...
It's so difficult to start again, but I want to. Next time I will be better???
05/08/2006 16:21
Feeling better...
Thanks God today I lost some weight again!
It's time to talk about one of my big problems related to weight gain (and weight loss difficulties): Insuline Resistance. I was diagnosed with IR in February, and I discovered how bad is this condition for your general healt. To have IR doesn't mean to have diabetes, because with IR you still have your blood sugar in control; but you need too much Insuline to control sugar, and this is bad for most of your body. IR can lead to diabetes too, and is often related to PCOS (Polycistic Ovaries), a condition that reduces your fertility.
I'm trying to have a baby, and I'm trying from so long time without success; finally I had this diagnosis last February, and now I'm dieting as the doctor asked me to do, because losing some weight is very useful to control IR and, may be, to restore my fertility too.
So I'm trying to lose weight for some good reasons, along with my will to be beatiful!!!
Unfortunately, with IR is very difficult to lose weight, as Insuline get you assimilate everything you eat...But I must resist and reach my goal!
05/05/2006 00:26
No weight loss in a week...
I can't explain this: I have been dieting for a week, I'm staying in my 1200 cal a day...I really don't know what I must do more than this to lose something more than my little "2 kilos"...
05/01/2006 07:39
Bad news...
Today is the second day I'm not losing weight, and I'm expecially depressed because I'm dieting correctly (1200 cal)...So why?
I know that I'd not control my weight every day, but just 1 time a week...But I cannot do this! I control my weight every morning, first thing in the morning, like an oracle consultation: it will be a good or a bad day???
Today is bad.
04/30/2006 02:42
Second week
I lost 2 kg, but is sooo easy to gain back if I just eat something more than 1200 cal!
Anyway I'm still in the average weight loss I thougt when I started: so we go on...I also managed to walk every day, for 20/25 min. The really difficult thing is to stay with other people: there are so many times you stay togheter eating...I still can't manage these situation, and generally I just stay alone; but I know that dieting for me will be all life long, so I must find a way to eat with other people without problems for my weight!
