Nothing new

I didn't really find any therapy for my eating disorder: in the second medical centre where I went, they only use meds (prozac) to help to control overeating, but I cannot take meds now as I'm still breastfeeding my daughter...So I found another centre (the 3rd!!!), where I will go for the first visit on July 10th; while I'm waiting, I'm still trying to control how many calories I'm eating and trying to burn some calories exercising too...Results are NOT exciting, but I'm at least mantaining my weight, or losing just something...I'm still optimist on being able, with the medical and psychological help I asked for, to resolve my eating disorder AND my weight problems...Untill then, I'm doing the best I can!

Update

I went to another medical centre for obesity and BED treatment and had a visit and a diet plan to follow until I will see the psychologist. So I'm supposed to follow a 1600 cal diet the doctor gave me during the visit; but I'm actually just counting calories and staying around 2000/2400 calories a day, that is my daily need, and occasionally I'm having some binge eating crisis, not everyday. So I'm mantaining weight or losing just a little. I'm waiting for the first appointment with the psychologist, next Wednesday...

I'm writing a food diary, and I notice that I can just say from the early morning when it will be a binge eating day...I don't know exactly why, it's not only if I'm stressed or depressed...there are day when I'm stressed or depressed, but I'm NOT going to binge; other days just I am...I'd like to understand why, I hope the therapy will help me to understand better what is going on in my mind!

Disappointed

Yesterday I had my first appointment with the doctor; I was preparing myself to a big turn in my life: a real therapy for my BED, a good nutritional plan to follow, etc etc. Nothing of all this! Just 10 minuts talking about my compulsive overeating and the official dx that I'm suffering from it: well, thank you very much!!! Next appointment (when they are supposed to give finally me a therapy plan) is....on may 26!!! So 2 months and a half doing what??? I'm very confused, dont' know what to do: just wait? try to found another medical centre for eating disorder? try to follow by myself another diet (and odds are I will not be able to stay on track becouse of my binge impulse...)?

One year later...

It's nearly one year from the last post, and a lot happened! The most important change is that I had, finally, a successful pregnancy  and a second little daughter! I also moved my house and now I'm living in a country village, not in the big city anymore...

During the pregnancy I felt no need to binge eating, and I was very careful not to gain too much weight; in the end, I LOST (yes!!!) 9 kilos. Unfortunately, just after delivering, I started again to feel the need of bingeing, and I'm doing it (again) almost every day...So I just regained 5 of the 9 kg I lost, and I started to feel really depressed. It was like there was no way to modify my behaviour with the food!

Finally I found a place where I can ask for help; they treat Binge Eating Disorder and other disorder about food. Next week I will have my first appointment. I hope it will be the beginning of a successful road...

I'm back to the start gate...

In these past months I didn't write anymore, as I was not dieting. To be totally true, I was binge eating like before, nearly everyday.
In addition I'm trying again to get pregnant (unsuccessfully, till now), and I'm taking again meds for IVF. The results are that I gained all the weight i lost 1 more kilo...
But I'm feeling really bad, I start to have phisical problems, it's so eavy also to walk (I used to be a very good walker...). So I must try again: I'm going to diet, even if taking meds and doing IVF it is a very difficult thing! But I also have to think that, should I get pregnant, the more I weight the more possibilities for problems during pregnancy.
I know that if I will get pregnant (my next try is at the end of this month) I will only have to watch not to gain too much weight, but it will be important in any case to chose the right food and to eat well.
If I will not succeed with IVF, I will keep on dieting and I want to reach my first goal (64 kilos) for the summer.
I'm also trying to find a good centre for medical and psychological support: I know that bingeing is my worst enemy!

A month later...

Hallo! I'm back to write after a month...Thank to all my friends for their support!
Nothing happened about my weight: I'm still around 71/72 kilos! It was a very demanding time with my sweet daughter: she is growing and wanting my attention all day (and night) long...I'm trying to do my best, but I confess that I'm quite tired and needing some rest!
I also need to have my hair cutted and color done, to buy some new dress...Being a mom is not an easy work!

The scale is going up and down...

from 72 to 71 kilos and again, again...Are many weeks that I'm not able to see a real loss of weight! This means that I'm not dieting and not exercising properly...Using the scale only one day a week is not doing any good, also. I feel less motivated, bored by my homewife life (I used to work, but this year I'm home with the baby) and I started again to binge on quite regular bases, may be every other day I can remember one bingeing episode: they are not so bad as they used to be some months ago, but they are here again ...I need a new motivation, something in my head that can help me to start again my diet and my exercise plan...I was planning to walk with the baby everyday, but now weather is getting bad, it rains a lot and I can't go out with my daughter; in the same time, I cannot exercise by myself, I have not the time as I'm all the day with the baby...Ok, I want to stop this "pity post"!

After one week...

...I gained 1 kilo instead of losing it...Cannot follow a diet...I'm so ashamed of myself!

Challenge

I want lose 1 kilo (70.5) for next week, 1th september.

Stress

After the loss of my sister, I'm very sad and stressed; two days ago I had a binge eating episode again, the second one from when I am with my daughter. I don't want that being sad put me back at the starting of my diet, with my eating disorder...