08/14/2008 14:39
Fumbling towards nothing...
Before anyone starts to worry...I am still around. I have had a rough couple weeks. I am not really sure what is going on with me. I am rebelling against what was, what is and what will be. I haven't been up to much of anything. Seriously. I haven't been to the gym. I haven't ran. I haven't been eating well. All that translates to an increase in the numbers on the scale. I did clean out my closet Tuesday in an effort to spark a fire to get these last 70 pounds off; that fire lasted about a day.
School starts in exactly 11 days and I am trying to enjoy not having any commitments or making any commitments and trying NOT to worry about a thing. Although there is that little smidgen of me that is worrying about my weight but I obviously don't worry about it enough to actually do anything about it. I guess the good news is I didn't gain 40 pounds like I did last summer. I've gained 10 pounds. So all is not lost.
I have this feeling that something is not right. I just don't feel like myself. It's weird. I have just a very unsettled feeling. I can't seem to get focused on anything. I am not interested in losing weight. There are a variety of things that I am stressed about and maybe they are just occupying too much of my thought process? I don't know.
Thankfully my BFF will be here tomorrow for a girl's weekend. We have afternoon tea at 3 and then a concert that evening. Saturday we are going shopping since it is "tax free" weekend. Should be fun.
In other news.. we have booked a family Thanksgiving get-a-way for four days. After the previous years' thanksgiving fiascoes I made an executive decision that from here on out we will rent a cabin somewhere and that will be our "tradition" The cabin for this year is in the Arbuckle Mountains. Its got a wicked hot tub on the porch over looking the mountains.Our own private lake with a boat and loads of fish to be caught (and released) I CAN NOT WAIT!! No phones... no computers....no school. Hopefully I will have my act together by then.
I met one of my SWK buddies from school last Saturday. We will have ALL our classes together starting next semester and will be able to carpool. Which is awesome because that will save A TON of money! We will also graduate at the same time too. It's just nice to have a school buddy that is going through the same thing you are at the same time.
Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and for those of you that are having cooler weather please send some to the Lone Star State!!!
XO,
A
Posted By: txlass
08/14/2008 15:02
...
You'll get back on track, especially when school starts and you're back into your routine. Thanksgiving sounds wonderful!!! Will it just be the 4 of you?
08/14/2008 15:18
Is it in the water?
I'm on the same page with you! I wonder if at points on this journey our fat cells rebel and send these signals to our brains? I know it sounds odd but I read stories on EP like this all the time and now I have been writing my own for the last 4 months. I've decided to get back to basics and NOT look at the scale for the next 3 weeks. I need to make the connection again that I eat well and workout because it makes me FEEL so good and NOT JUST to lose weight because WHEN we get to our goals our motivation to stay there has to be because of the way it feels. This may seems like blah blah blah right now...but I know going back to basics clicked for me. Your BFF will help!!!!
08/14/2008 16:10
Rebellion
I agree with hopeangel. I think the fat cells do rebel or something because I go through those phases where I just can't bring myself to eat right or exercise. It's okay. I am sure you will be back into your routine before long. Enjoy these last 11 days before school. You deserve a little vacation!
08/14/2008 16:14
I'm there too
You are so not alone. I think you have the right idea for T'giving. Ironically, I was stressing about it today. Too many places to go, too much gas, too many miles. Too much drama and I don't want it! UGH! Anyway, I'm thinking about ya!
08/14/2008 17:18
Girl
I am happy you are with us. I think its just the lazy days of the Summer. I think the idea for Thanksgiving is great !! Good Luck and enjoy your time off from school.
08/14/2008 17:39
Been there
It's scary how we can be so gung-ho with our journey, and then it's just like someone walks through and flips off the switch! Mr. Hormone, maybe?
I just know I've been there, and it's no fun, and totally frustrating to get in that funk after chugging happily along! I gained right at 25 lbs. from my lowest around Christmas, and I've just in the last three months, and more seriously in the last month and a half finally found my rhythm again. I'm still not back to the lowest I've been, and have 70 lbs. left to my goal also.
As someone else said, getting back in your normal school routine may help...but it WILL happen!
Thanks for being real...I could've written your exact same post before, but instead, chose to be absent from EP completely!
A weekend with the BFF will help recharge too....ENJOY!
08/14/2008 21:19
((hugs))
I'm sorry you are going through a funk right now. I know you will get back in the swing of things soon!!
08/15/2008 03:47
*hugs*
I guess there comes a time when the momentum slows down - it is tough to keep rolling. You'll get your stride back once you've had a rest.
08/15/2008 07:58
Oh my gosh....you are me!!
When I get to feeling like that, I say I'm in a "purple funk"! Can't really explain it....it just is what it is! When I get that way, I get mad at the world! I resent everything and everyone! Thank goodness those moods pass...just have to ride it out!
We are all here for you. Come back and share when you can. In the meantime, take it easy on yourself......
Nova
08/15/2008 09:19
((hugs))
Hope you feel really great soon!!
08/17/2008 06:42
Don't Worry
You will get back on track. Maybe it's just a summer thing? The Thanksgiving trip sounds heavenly. DH and I got over the family get togethers years ago because we didn't have a good time. We used to go to his sister's house, in TX, and it seemed like a wasted vacation - there was always some kind of drama (I think you called them fiascos).
School may help get you back on track since you always sounded very organized when you talked about school in the past. Hope you enjoyed tax free shopping!
Best regards!
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