Communication
What is it about men and communication that drive us women crazy? I have tried very hard to master their communication techniques without success. According to Dr. Christine Northrup, author of Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause, the most important communication skill for women to learn is that you cannot expect your mate to be your best friend. So save the long-winded moaning sessions for your girlfriends. So how should we communicate with our men and how do we teach our little boys to communicate? How do we save our girls from the heart aches we have experienced? Please feel to leave your comments.
According to Steve Stewart, author of 52 Simple Rules to Improve Your Relationship, each partner needs to get what he or she wants from a relationship for it to be successful. Stewart proposes the following four techniques:
-
Ask for what you want. Stewart says that most people don't ask for what they want because they think they can't get it. But the opposite is typically true. Most people are surprised to learn/to find out that they can get what they want simply by asking. I think I am a pretty straightforward person and have had no problem telling my husband what I want or need. However, I feel that my husband takes it as a form of criticism . . . “I’m not doing what she wants.” Make sense? -
Show your partner what you want to receive. "In other words," says Stewart, "give your partner what you would like your partner to give you." I can say that I have not always done this – at least not lately. I feel that I gave so much during the beginning of our relationship and got so little back which has resulted in reluctance. -
Learn to negotiate. Relationships are give and take. For example — "Honey, I will cook dinner, if you will do the dishes afterward." This works sometimes for me . . . when things are good between us. However, it is hard to negotiate when you are mad at your partner. -
Learn to modify what you want. "Ask yourself if what you want is really something you have to have," says Stewart. I use this technique and it does work sometimes. However, be ready to let go . . . give in . . . and sometimes even bite your tongue.