06/22/2008 16:37
Day Four: Take Two - Empowerment
Ok, so the counselor told EMJ a couple of sessions ago about the importance of taking just 15 minutes out of the day to touch base – which he really hasn’t. Anyway, I was feeling pretty empowered after my workout this morning and I have been reading. Yep, reading in-between all the things I have to do. I am reading The Wisdom of Menopause by Christine Northrup, M.D. Excellent book J for any women in her late 30's to early 40's. Here are some excerpts:
Ø . . . take the time, and spend the energy, to resolve old issues and set new ground rules . . . [p. 10].
Ø . . . reinvent ourselves as healthier, more resilient women . . . [p. 11].
Ø . . . like so many other women, became the master shape-shifter, adjusting my own needs to those of everyone else in the family [p. 13].
Anyway, I had my 15 minute chat with EMJ . . . gave him an opportunity to talk . . . he mentioned some general things such as synchronizing our calendars and working on the bills. He also mentioned possible taking some time out ‘just for us’ which opened the door for what was on my mind. EMJs life changed very little after we got married. I was the one left figuring out our mixed-family. Trying to build a bridge so the kids would understand that the adults understood their needs. I was the one who entertained during the summer and played taxi. For the first time I have given that job to EMJ. I have made it clear that I am working on my dissertation proposal and he’s going to jump in and do his part. I tried to convey to EMJ that I needed him to empower my choice to live my life to the fullest and not sabotage my attempts. His response was that I had his support and he understood that this was about me. I had to make it clear that there hasn’t been a “me” in a very long time. It’s about resurrecting “me” which is way overdue.