Day Two
Moderator: Good morning Madea. Good to see you came back. How did things go last night?
Madea: Hi. I'm not really sure. It was my first visit to this counselor who my husband has seen twice. I'm not really sure if we made any head way.
Moderator: Tell us more . . .
Madea: My husband has some trust issues related to his previous marriage. I have paid the price for his ex-wife cheating. Little does he know that he's cheating us by living in his past. I wish he could get past this . . . He is a good person but this has been a BIG problem for us. I have been patient and understanding but I'm getting tired and wornout. Life is too short not to be happy.
Moderator: What happened last night?
Madea: EMJ picked me up and we headed to our appointment 30 minutes away. I was so mad that things had gotten to this point . . . too mad to talk. He tried to make small talk but I had very little to say in response. He reached over and grab my hand and then the tears came rolling down. How is it possible that this man that I love so much could cause me so much pain? I don't think I have ever been this hurt in my life. I have given so much and after 10 years of giving and giving and being patient and understanding . . . he still has hang-ups about his ex-wife.
Moderator: What did the counselor say?
Madea: Well, after the tears in the car . . . then came the anger. EMJ wanted to know "why are you crying?" Well, why the fuck do you think I'm crying [I thought]. I spouted off in 500 words or less how I felt and then we pulled into the parking lot [thank God].
Moderator: Mmm...
Madea: The introductions were made and we sat to begin our first 'couples' counseling. Dr. H. wanted to know how things had gone since the last session with EMJ. Needless to say the hour went by too fast. Dr. H. believes that we both have a role in this marriage and that "behaviors from one individual can produce a behavior in another."
Moderator: Go on . . .
Madea: I guess an example would be when I am mad and verbal then that causes EMJ to shut down. That's all well and good but I want to know why the fuck he can't get over his ex-wife. But I guess I'll learn more next week.
Moderator: Oh?
Madea: We have another session scheduled for next Thursday. At first I thought this is bullshit, but do need to be open. This has to be hard for EMJ and he wants to work things out [as do I]. So, I will be there next Thursday.
Moderator: What happened after your session?
Madea: EMJ became emotional as the session ended. He talked about how guilty he felt about hurting me and not being there for me when I needed him - like when I found a lump in my breast. When we got in the car - he re-emphasized how bad he felt about letting me down.
Moderator: Mmm...
Madea: I guess my patience has run out with this crap. I told him if he was sorry then he needed to stop living in the past and move forward. I believe in learning from past mistakes . . . not dwelling in them. We didn't say too much to each other on the drive home.
Moderator: What happened when you got home?
Madea: I think I'm in emotional overload and maybe a little depressed. Because I came home and crawled into bed and was asleep within minutes. EMJ was doing laundry and the kids were watching TV.
Moderator: Girl, you have a man that does laundry and watches the kids and you are complaining!
Madea: Yep, I guess something must be wrong with me.