Moving Forward

Back on Track

Slipping off a diet can be treacherous.  However, I realize the sooner I get back onto a healhy eating plan the better.  Instead of waiting until I gain all the weight back and more, I am doing the best I can right now and getting back on track.

Beating myself up doesn't help me -- makes me more depressed and makes me feel like a loser -- and not the weight loss kind.  Small steps back in the right direction, and making a determination that being healthy IS what is important matters most.

I lost my partner last March -- he died unexpectedly from a blood clot.  For a few months I was in survival mode -- trying to find a place to live, move and settle in.  That's when I started eating again.  It was an unhealthy way to deal with loss -- in fact it's an unhealthy way to deal with any emotions.  I understand that, know that, but still do it.  So, yes, I've gained a little more than half my weight loss back -- it's not all of it -- and I'm eating healthy again now.  (Now is all that matters anyway!)

Good Health is THE Vision

I really don't want to go back to old habits, and regain what I have lost.  It can be frustrating when I look at myself and think I need to lose more weight as I have already lost 43 pounds.  It's a big loss. 

My hair dresser lost 60 pounds over the course of two years, and since she cut my bangs on Saturday, we got to talking about weight loss.  She's only a half inch taller than I, and weighs in at 135.  I honestly don't want to compare myself to her, but try and keep my eyes on the most important thing, and that's being healthy.  So, I may lost another 1-15 pounds but that's it.

Focusing on Goals

It's easy to get distracted and get caught in negative thinking, however, it at all possible, we need to move our thoughts to what we want. 

I finally get the point that if I don't have a goal, then I don't have a direction to move towards.  So, I'm making a five-year plan, and including a great trip to Italy when I reach 60 (in two years!).

Making a Change

I can sit here and waste more time moaning and groaning about what I don't like in life, or I can make a plan, and start working for what I want.

I have lost 38 pounds so far, and it happened because I chose to focus on losing weight and not let anything get in my path  or mind that would permanently alter what I was doing.  So, DUH, I need to do that in other ares of my life. 

You Never Can Tell

Strange, but today I thought for sure went I went to the Jenny Craig Center I was going to show a gain. That didn't happen.  Even though I had a family celebration last Saturday and maybe tried some of the birthday cake, I still didn't do that bad the rest of the week.

Losing weight during menopause is no small chore, but have to say, it's all about the portions. Basically, I've eaten only what I buy at the JC Center, and so far 27.5 pounds. I know at WW I could have weighed the stuff -- but I didn't -- I could have meased the stuff -- but I didn't.  Here I pick up my meals, and eat what's there, and that's that...no more. 

I'm believing now more than ever I'll be able to get down to a size 14 -- maybe a 12 -- but will have to see how I look.  I don't want everything hanging all over me so I'll set another goal, maybe a 20 pound goal, and see how I feel, and look. Hey, I'm no kid, and getting to a size 10, isn't a big deal.  It's about being healthy...that's all.

Mindfulness

I realize more and more that multi tasking has taken me out of focusing on the moments in my life. Even eating has been multi tasked to watching the morning or evening news, and at lunch time, I'm on the internet. I will make more effort to focus on what I am doing and pay more attention to things -- slowing down if necessary so I feel like I am living a life I choose.

Direction

Thinking about those times when my aunt or mother told me what to do and when to do it that caused me to freak out or plain old melt down, and here I am at 50 wanting a guidance counselor or a coach. Someone to give me a clue, or a spark to ignite the second half of my life doesn't seem real. Maybe someone else can guide me, but the question is why can't I guide myself. Do I need to stop and do the opposite of what I have been doing so I can see something different.

Weightloss is a control thing with me, once that little switch is clicked on, my mind is on the task. Maybe that's the only thing I feel I can control in my life. Maybe that's why I can a lot of weight and then have to take it all off.

Being Grateful

I know it will sound korny, however, each morning this week -- even when the weather was awful, I have thought about and thanked all the things that make my life what it is.  This includes the snow on the ground, the gas stations I pass on the road, the signals on the road, my car, etc.  Obviously, I'm doing this as I drive to work so the list goes on and on as I realize there are thousands of things that I see all the time, and don't realize how they make my life easier -- or better somehow.

Another Good Week

I am happy to say I have had another good week on Jenny Craig.  So far I have lost almost 15 pounds, and I have lost 11 inches.  My clothes are feeling better on me -- the bigger clothes are really too loose now, and the midsize clothes are feeling okay -- maybe a little snug but not bad.

A year or so ago, I made up my mind that I would not hold onto any size 10 clothes.  I thought it was unrealistic to even think I could get down to a 10 any more, in fact, I would be thrilled to be a 14,  So many of women at a size 14, think they are heavy, but truth is they are not.  It is that unrealistic image that the media industry creates that we all try to accommodate.  It does us no service whatsoever.  So, I threw out the 10s and when I get to 14, I'm going to celebrate by buying myself a great pair of jeans!