• Motivation level today: Pretty solid

• What's been hard: It was interesting yesterday. I had some stressful client communication to deal with and boy does that kick in the eating urge. Wow. I ate 3 pkgs of Newman's peanut butter cups. Bleah! But I still stayed under my calorie limit! Whenever I have challenging feelings bubble up, I want to eat. It is like clockwork.

• What's been easy: The vulnerable feeling eased off yesterday. I did cardio in the morning and that helped. Still pretty connected to the desire to loose the fat!
  
  
• Anything I need to keep going: Knowing that I'll have to do this for awhile, but if I really do it, I'll eventually reach my goal and get a very deep sense of satisfaction.

• Motivation level today: Fuzzy right now. I feel clear that I want to keep making my choices toward weight loss. So not fuzzy in that sense. But fuzzy because I feel low.

• What's been hard: Feeling vulnerable because of this recurring very emotionally painful dream that came again last night. The images are very vivid and they have a real emotional impact. This puts me in a place where it is hard not to be insecure and droopy. Trying to connect to the strength and power in my body.

• What's been easy: Yesterday I ate 1600 calories and did my 30m walk and mini-yoga. And this morning I'm doing cardio. So I'm taking those steps I need to take to get to my goal. I'll feel bad sometimes and good others. Just need to putting one foot in front of the other.
  
  
• Anything I need to keep going: Someone who knows me really well to tell me I'm great....I think I'll call a friend because I might actually be able to get what I need today

Total calorie deficit created = 2,520!

Burned away 1,095 calories via exercise & consumed 1,425 less than my baseline (estimated at 1850 / day).

Excellente! First week nailed. 14 more to go. I'm so on it.

• Motivation level today: Clear sense of motivation but grumpy about limiting calories.

• What's been hard: Trying to juggle so many things in life -- I have a real impulse to just let food go. BUT I know how that feels later. I still have to live with managing that impulse because it doesn't just go away. Maybe this week I'll try going for a walk whenever I feel that impulse.

• What's been easy: I don't feel much true "easy" at this moment. But it isn't too hard to feel the pull to exercise.
  
  
• Anything I need to keep going: A clear picture of my goal. I want this 3.5 months to contribute to my loosing weight to get to 145lb. When I reach 145, I will have some room to float up a little when I eat regularly but can still stay under 150. I want to be under 150 when I turn 40. I know from past experience that doing this is hard, but not doing it isn't really that much easier. So then if I don't do it, and 6 months pass, I look back and just feel deflated. Because I could have just gotten it over with. Once I loose weight, I will be freed up to focus on other things I care about - like my flexiblity or just having fun with sports or somthing. I won't have to be focused on a goal that take a lot of discipline to reach.

• Realization: Until I loose this weight I have two choices: 1) Use the energy to reach my goal. And even though this is uncomfortable and challenging, it is rewarding. Or 2) have the ghost of my goal float around me most of the time draining my energy but not reaching my goal. Pretty obvious when I put it that way.

• Motivation level today: Very Motivated!

• What's been hard: No hard stuff (at the moment).

• What's been easy: The eager feeling I have for the way exercise makes me feel -- full of vitality and strength! And the clear picture of how sick I am of the extra weight. I'm feeling it really clearly that I want to give myself the opportunity to finally get to the fittness level I crave!
  
  
• Anything I need to keep going: Shout outs from other EP-ers is always ExtraGreat!

• Motivation level today: Good
• What's been hard: Nothing yet
• What's been easy: The great feeling of exercising and having structure for what I eat.
• Anything I need to keep going: Feeling a bit tired and tender today. Not related to diet/exercise, just a general feeling. It is still early in the day so this might clear like fog. But if it doesn't clear then it will be hard to stay focused on work. It is a day off exercise-wise, so I don't have to try to fit that in. I think I just need to allow myself to be slow and steady. I have my food plan for the day. I should be good.

• Motivation level today: Strong
• What's been hard: Nothing yet
• What's been easy: The great feeling of exercising and having structure for what I eat.
• Anything I need to keep going: Riding on the energy right now, no extra help needed.

Yesterday ate about 1400 calories, walked for 30m and did a little yoga. Today did walk/run and strength training.

I love endorphins.

Recording for posterity...

I've been MIA from EP, and I've not been tracking food so great (hit and miss). BUT....

For the past 23 weeks, I've done some form exercise an average of 3.7x per week. That might be a 30 minute walk, a trip to the gym for cardio and strength, an interval walk/run, or a hike. And that average doesn't count walks that are less than 30 minutes or some small bits of yoga that I've done off and on as well. And since I have a dog, I'm taking small walks quiet often.

But the "for real" exercise is 3.7x / week for 23 weeks. That's so cool because I considered this a "low" time for exercise since I was doing very infequent serious cardio or strength. So now a "low" time for me still involves very regular activity. SWEET!

Hello All!

I was away at my neice's wedding this weekend (a lovely event where it was great to connect with family). But I just got fed up with how much my energy is being drained yet again by my self-confidence because of my weight.

I'm going to use this fed up energy to motivate myself! My plan is to focus on this between now and Thanksgiving. That is 3.5 months.

Strategies:

• Read my motivation points each day (I wrote them on the plane ride home while they were really alive in my mind)
• Post here 5 out of 7 days
• Write down all of my food intake
• Eat 4 fruits & veggies each day
• Exercise at least 1200 calories a week (cardio, strength, yoga)
• Reduce calories at least 1500 per week

These targets should total a loss of 9-10 lbs. But my goals are actually the items listed above and not a certain amount of pounds (because otherwise I go crazy focusing on weight only). My body will loose fat at its own rate if I give it the opportunity.

There are some life events and trips that will happen in here, so I'm going to give myself some room for those. From my past experience, I'd be setting myself up for failure if I tried to maintain my goals during these times. So my aim at these times will be to 1) know in advance it will be challenging and 2) not gain.

• Aug 22-24 co-researcher
• Sept 6-12 Portland
• Sept 19-21 teaching asst
• Oct 10-12 cohort weekend
• Oct 17-19 teaching asst
• Nov 14-16 teaching asst

These amount to 22 days, or 3 of the 15 total weeks. Amazing how that adds up! Seeing that these trips add up to 3 weeks, makes me want to try to be extra careful doing those times. I'll check in with my motivtation before each trip and fuel myself with that energy beforehand.

Tomorrow starts the calendar on this one. Although yesterday I ate well. And today I'm going to the gym and eating well. So I'm gearing up for Day 1 in a way that supports my goals.

Funny, I have this internal conflict. I have these thoughts that I shouldn't try to have such a goal oriented plan and that I should just make small life-style changes. And on the other side, I realize I'm doing well with life-style changes overall but I'm still stuck with this weight that is really getting me down. So I'm really craving a specific period of time with focused goals to loose weight! I know from prior experience that if I loose the weight and feel healthier, it will be a source of motivation. Plus, my weight loss targets are not overly zelous at all. Cutting out 2700 calories a week is a very reasonable rate. So, I guess that resolves that conflict for now. Writing it out helps. This is why part of my strategy is to post here 5 of 7 days.

Send me good energy and help me know that I can do this. I'm looking forward to the feelings of success and the really big high of achieving these goals by Thanksgiving.

~ Tara