Currently: enjoying a silent office and contemplating using a delayed lunch break to refill a prescription and get a trim at Supercuts, which will inevitably look like a mullet and require some snipping of my own, but at least it will only cost $20. And then maybe a free iced coffee at Dunkin Donuts.
I'm still struggling to really focus on developing a weekly plan, but decided to make it easier this week by making larger meals that would provide ample leftovers. This is my first week returning to needing to pack my meals--typically I eat at the dinning hall (I get a small meal stipend as part of my salary) which is a great deal, especially since they tend to have decent healthy food buried in between trays of pies, cookies, pizza and nachos with cheese.
I'm expecting that the veggie bounty and being free from the aforementioned temptations will help me stay on track. I've lost 8.2lbs in 6 weeks which is MORE than a pound a week average (1.36 to be exact). For perspective, this is slightly slower than the pace at which I lost weight during my first 6 weeks of dieting in 2007. I do expect that my weight loss will start to slow a little bit in the upcoming weeks. After 10 weeks of dieting in 2007, my pace dropped to 1lb a week.
My goal WI this week is 232 (with the hope of being in the 220s by the time I'm home for Memorial Day/Cupcake Competition), but I'm not sure whether I'll be able to hit that since Thursday night is the night I have to do rounds and chaperone for senior week from midnight until 5am. Will the lack of sleep and oddly timed activity do me in? Who knows. Tune in Friday afternoon, once I wake from the dead and injest some Starbucks, to find out...
Last night I was in bed by 9:30 and dragged myself out of bed at 7:30. Sure, I woke up from a strange dream around 3:30 and struggled to fall back asleep for a bit, but my fatigue seemed a little strange. Perhaps it was the workout. I jogged for 20 minutes straight AND talked to a couple colleagues who were at the gym. I'm amazed that A) I could talk without gasping for air and B) I didn't fall off the damned treadmill.
My highlighted meal of this week: taco salad. Here's what I'm doing for one dinner or lunch-sized portion:
1/2 a bagged salad mix (I like the type with arugula and raddicio)
1 TBS chopped green olives
2 chopped radishes
4-5 grape tomatoes, sliced in half
1/2 a chopped carrot
1/4 cup of chopped cucumber
1/4 cup of canned black beans
1/4 cup of low sodium corn
about a tablespoon of fresh cilantro, torn into tiny pieces
3 oz sauteed lean ground beef with 1/2 sauteed onion
2 TBS of a smoky, chipotle/cilantro salsa mixed with 1 TBS of Stonewall Kitchen's Cilantro Lime Vinaigrette
Shake it (like a Polaroid picture--whoa-ohhhh!) all up in a Tupperware to disperse the ingredients and enjoy. It's 398 calories and very filling. Tons of flavor. If you need/want to save calories, exchange the lean ground beef (I used 93% lean) for chicken breast or use less of it. Quite honestly, I've had the salad without it and it's just as good. The one missing ingredient that I never even realize is missing is cheese!
Here's the rest of the week's plan:
Breakfasts:
1/2 cup egg beaters with 1-2oz of Boar's Head Low Sodium Ham on an Arnold's Sandwich Thin or a Fiber One Light English Muffin
Coffee with half and half
Lunches:
the taco salad!
Snacks (one of the following in the morning and one of the following in the afternoon before my workout):
1/2 c 1% no added salt cottage cheese with fresh dill
pear
apple
1/2 c. plain fat free Greek yogurt mixed with 1/2 cup of strawberries, Truvia/Splenda and 1 TBS unsweetened cocoa powder
smoothie (1/2 cup skim milk, frozen banana and 1 scoop of protein powder)
Evening Dessert (one of the following)
1 cup of sugar free pudding made with skim milk, 1/2 cup of berries and 2 TBS FF Reddi Whip
2 cups of sugar free Jello with 2 TBS FF Reddi Whip
Tuesday
Dinner: 4 oz shrimp, 4 oz oven fried potatoes, roasted cauliflower and broccoli
Workout: 60 minute walk
PM commitment: take care of car stuff, pick up prescription and maybe get hair cut
Wednesday
Dinner: turkey meatball subs on light wheat buns with sauteed spinach and salad
Workout: rest
PM commitment: hang out with E, on duty
Thursday
Dinner: meatball sub leftovers
Workout: 45 minute spin class, weights, maybe also a 60 minute walk
PM commitment: nap time to prep for chaperone rounds from midnight until 5am!
Friday
Dinner: take-out--probably sushi
Workout: 30 minute run, weights
PM commitment: early bed time after Thursday's festivities
Fun Tina Fact: I am
the firstborn and was delivered on Mother’s Day, so my mom’s very first
mother’s day was celebrated within moments of my birth. This is somewhat
of a family tradition. My father, also a firstborn, was born on
Mother’s Day (his birthday is May 11).
In the midst of crazy work time (our students move out and we close
the residence halls this weekend) and celebrating time (which has
included a work celebration, date night/dinner with E and dinner
with E’s family–my family lives 4+ hours away, so I’ll see them all
for Memorial Day instead), I decided to set aside some birthday party
time to consider what I want to make of this upcoming year and to assess
where I’m at in achieving my New Year's Resolutions.
So far, so enh. I’m behind on writing, but that should pick
up with a more relaxed work schedule May through July. My fitness/health
regimine is gaining momentum, my savings plan is suitable, and I
committed to the Philly Women’s Triathalon this July. But, that’s all
“doing.” I feel like I need a little character development to go along
with all these changes I’m making in my life.
I got a little something special on my birthday to remind me of my
personal goal this year…
It’s a tattoo on my inner wrist that says “patience.” As the
firstborn and a Taurus, it’s a characteristic I really struggle
with–whether it’s weight loss, being patient with others or learning
that I do not need to control all things at all times. In fact, I was so
anxious to get out in the world, that I was born a few weeks early. The
inability to be patient–to be at peace and ready and waiting for
whatever life sees fit to bring me–makes me more high strung than I need
to be. It’s not that I can’t do it. I simply forget it’s an option. So
this year, my tattoo will remind me that patience is an option–and often
one that yields magical results.
After all, patience has served me well. It allowed me to find my
current job, after nearly a year of searching and not finding
opportunities that I thought would truly suit me. It has helped me to
lose more than 60 lbs. It’s given me a solid relationship that is more
than 2 years running. It can’t be all that bad, right?
But, I have to admit--one of the highlights of getting this tattoo is when I went back to the waiting area to show E when it was done (they wouldn't let him back there due to space limitations and the desire to have a super-clean environment) and he said "I love it, babe! I can't believe I have such a badass girlfriend!"
PS: Despite a steak dinner, burger dinner, beer, 2 cupcakes and a little ice cream, the scales are still staying stable! Today was back under 1300 calories, and it was easy and comfortable.
Weigh In Day... I've started looking forward to this!
I am just starting to acknowledge (to myself and publicly) that my
allergies have won.
Pollen: 1
Tina: 0
It has meant sniffles and sneezes, mind-numbing exhaustion (which results in mindless grazing/snacking) and burning eyes. I FINALLY realized last night that I need to dig out the allergy meds, make sure they haven't expired and combat the pollen with drug therapy. I can't bear to close the windows, even though each morning I wake to a brighter yellow shade of pollen dust that I need to wash off the windowsill.
Since when did my autoimmune system become so fragile?
As a result, it's been challenging to stay on track this week, but I made mostly good choices. One ALWAYS good choice: water. I drank lots of it.
Today's official WI: down 1.4 pounds!
Good enough considering I wasn't completely on track this week. Great
considering just a couple months ago, it seemed like I was fighting for
every ounce lost. Good enough to allow me to enjoy my birthday weekend.
No more dining hall lunches as of today! That will help me keep my
diet on track for the next few months.
Did you hear about Jennifer Anniston's diet? Apparently, she eats babyfood to "cleanse" and lose weight quickly. Now there's a brilliant diet plan!
I was getting ready to blog about how the scale has been up for days--ever since the beer and burger late Saturday.
And then, I did my morning check this morning and it was down to 233-point-ZERO! Down 1.8 pounds from last week.
How in the hell... ???
Before you start telling me about all the hard work I've been doing, let me tell you this: I've been quarter-assing it this week. I haven't been completely slacking (or "half-assing), but I also haven't been putting forth full effort. Evidence/excuses:
skipped abs (because it was the instructor I didn't like) and weights (cuz I was tired) at the gym yesterday and didn't even push my heart rate past 140 in spin.
ate FOUR mini glazed cruellers and a half a bagel with gobs of cream cheese yesterday
skipped my planned dinner (fish was still frozen and I didn't feel like cooking) in favor of some leftover black beans, avocado, cottage cheese and a couple handfuls of multigrain Cheerios. Light dinner: yes. Low calorie: no.
I didn't track my food on The Daily Plate once breakfast ended.
Finally, as I struggled to keep my eyes open and it was barely 8:50pm, I realized that I was simply exhausted. THAT was probably the reason for my laziness. I decided to go to bed. 9 hours later, the alarm startled me from sleep. I felt like I could have stayed in bed for another hour or two.
Is this what turning 34 is gonna do to me?
Just kidding... I think it's just a little extra stress from managing all of these crazy end of year meetings, making sure my staff knows how to close out their buildings properly, resolve the mini-E conflict and get into summer mode.
I looked through my EP weight log. I was at 232 briefly (for about a month) just after I started having back problems. The reason why my weight dipped so low (and did it quickly) is because I was on mass quantities of pain meds, couldn't work out and couldn't really prepare meals. There were many nights when all I ate were raw fruit and veggies or a bowl of cereal or a Lean Cuisine. I was miserable. I feel much better/healthier/stronger this round of lower 230s.
I think the excess water/iced decaf herbal tea I drank yesterday and
the additional sleep is what finally pushed the number on the scale
down.
TODAY'S STICK WITH IT PLAN:
Breakfast: bagel with Smart Balance Light
Snack: light cheddar cheese stick
Lunch: omelet or grilled chicken, garbanzos and salad
Not bad... proof that choosing a good attitude--despite waking up on the wrong side of bed--can make a good day.
Last night, I went to a friend's house to watch Lost. Amazing! I brought dessert--blackberry cabernet sorbet by Ciao Bella. So good. And only about 120 calories per half cup serving.
Today, I'm working from home for a bit while maintenance tries to fix my central air. So far, it's taken them an hour and a half to fix it and now the air vents are spitting out black specks all over me, my desk and in my iced coffee. I asked if they could clean the vents. They said a new filter would help (so far it hasn't, as evidenced by the fact that I've cleaned black crap off my desk three times in the past half hour) or they could vacuum the outside of the vent. Uhhhh... nice, thank you, but this stuff is coming from INSIDE the vents.
DON'T THEY KNOW I'M A LITTLE OCD AND DO NOT LIKE DIRT? ESPECIALLY WHEN IT RUINS MY ICED COFFEE!!!
The VP spoke a little more specifically about what he envisions for me and talked to me more about what I had in mind if his plans didn't pan out. Bottom line: he wants to create "at least" an assistant director position for me based out of our central office. My oversight would be for residential student conduct and staff development (essentially working with the director to provide training for our pro staff). It is a perfect position for me.
The problem: he doesn't know if he can get it approved due to the budget. (In fact, this morning I have a "campus planning & priorities" meeting in which they'll let us know their recommendations for upcoming program cuts.)
I love, love, LOVE this man. He is such a strategic thinker, very positive (even though every day he's been in this position these past four years, there's been some challenge, issue or political situation he needs to resolve in order to achieve much of what we're doing in our division). He says he's a card carrying member of my fan club (seriously... who says that!?) and openly tells other people that which really helps my currency at the college. He asked what committee work I needed/wanted to participate in to keep me engaged and assist my professional development. I told him to sign me up for assessment and the leadership team. Two of the hardest and most intensive, but also two of the committees that will help develop my own skills and put me in a position to get a director gig or enter a PhD or EdD program (long shot--since I'm not doing it if it means taking on more student loans).
While this week is filled with meetings and year end wrap-up, I'm most excited about the upcoming weeks. More peace and quiet. Fewer students. Even my staff, including my secretary has the summer off. I'm using the time to wrap up our student staff August training plan, but the projects I'm most excited about are updating our website (new skill!) and developing a curriculum to teach my professional staff essential supervision, leadership and group development skills. I've found myself distracted at meetings this week, as I drafting learning outcomes and imagine activities we'll do as part of this experience.
Will I choose to make today a good day or a bad day?
Today just feels like an overwhelming/emotional day. HOWEVER, I have a meeting with the VP to discuss who knows what but possibly job opps at 10, so I'm working on centering myself.
Essentially, what happened was I had a frustrating writer's group meeting. It was my first time in this group and I found two of the writer's irritating in their need to CONSTANTLY talk and interrupt. I also was frustrated by the group's tendency to get sidetracked by conversations about religion, sexuality or politics topics instead of just critiquing each others' work. And then E insisted on calling me on his way to a friends house for movie night. He feels the need to connect by phone daily. I don't. I find it irritating because he's not that attentive due to the need to focus on traffic or directions so the conversation is a superficial "what's your day been" except for the fact that he frequently forgets to ask me what my day is like or by the time we get to me, he's at his destination and needs to get off the phone. Long story short: he doesn't like it when I'm frustrated and has told me that he doesn't like it when I withdraw (coping mechanism #1) or behave in a frustrated/angry manner (coping mechanism #2).
So... anyone else have a coping mechanism for dealing with frustration when you're not allowed to give yourself a time out or be frustrated?
I don't think E realizes how ridiculous (and kinda selfish) his expectations are. He expects that I'll just put all of these emotions aside and be able to focus on him and be my normal loving, funny, witty self all the time.
That's not to say I don't need to tailor my 'tude. But last night, I was extra careful about letting him know how I was feeling, specifically saying that I wasn't upset with him (just frustrated in general) and trying to talk about it, get it off my chest and find something to laugh about.
Good Lord! Being single was WAY easier than this.
But, like I said, I'm trying to center myself. Time to focus on the good stuff: - I ran yesterday. Not a lot but I ran. 12 minutes at 4mph and then 2 minutes at 5.5mph. There was a younger woman running next to me. I used her to keep my pace and push myself. - I convinced a colleague to try spin with me Thursday night! I suspect she might not like it at first, but I want people to see it's not as scary as it looks. - Today's workout is more intense than planned. My walking buddy had to bail, so I'm running again. In my new sneakers. -Tonight: Lost and Glee night with a friend I haven't seen in awhile. -meeting with the VP! -It's almost the end of the year--students move out Friday. -This beef with E will be done soon and we will be the stronger for it. It gives us the opportunity to be more clear of our expectations, wants and needs.
Congrats to Heather and Tina who made it as Extrapounds Cover Girls!!! Check out the front page, yo!
Also, forgot to tell you. Went shopping this weekend for some work-appropriate tank tops (my office has crappy AC) and found an awesome pair of jeans that fit perfectly and do NOT HAVE A W AFTER THE SIZE NUMBER!
Lee straight cut jeans, size 18. I've NEVER been able to wear straight cut jeans--always needed bootcut or flares to fit my friggin' legs/hips/butt. These fit perfectly--they're even a little loose. Love 'em. And they were on sale for $22.
Wow... I wasn't expecting to wake up to comments/messages about the photos I posted last night! (Lauren: yes! More exclamations!! It's like punctuation jazz hands!!!)
I finally uploaded a picture from the office end of year banquet last week. Not bad! The size 16 dress (from Target--their clothes typically run small on me!) makes me happy.
I also uploaded a before pic: 295 lbs. Size 24 bottoms/size 22 or XXL top. The person cut out of that pic was my friend who was 8.5 months preggers and HALF my size. This was taken right around the time I started WW.
Being a slow loser and having been on a 2+ year plateau, I sometimes forget that I HAVE made progress and my life has drastically changed. Looking at those photos every once in awhile helps me celebrate my progress and prevents me from getting all mopey about the weight I still have left to lose.
Focusing on that final weight can be a distraction for me. For the record, I've updated my weight chart to show my next major goal point: 220 lbs for a total of 75lbs lost. That said, my ultimate goal weight is somewhere between 160 and 180lbs for a total of 115-135lbs lost. (Technically, 135-165 is my healthy/normal weight range, but I don't want to be a bag of bones, ya know!? It took me damn near 34 years, but I like my curves.)
This weekend, I spring cleaned. 5 bags of clothes that are too big are being donated to a local women's center. It included lots of professional clothes, including 6 suit jackets in sizes 16-18 (I'm now a size 12/14 top, so even the smallest jackets were too large and frumpy looking). Lord knows professional clothes in plus sizes are wicked expensive. I hope someone gets good use out of them.
There are many reasons for the spring cleaning--the house was feeling cluttered, I wanted to make space for E moving in later this summer, and I also wanted to get rid of the weight of clothes that I KNOW will never fit me again.
The other reason for spring cleaning: summer is coming. With that comes 4 day work weeks/3 day weekends. I do NOT want to spend my long weekends cleaning house, but I DO have a bunch of summer projects in mind:
training for the triathalon
developing a training plan to strengthen my core so I can pursue my pipe dream of being a roller girl (after the tri)
opening an Etsy store and selling the health/wellness journals and datebooks I've designed
writing more... I gotta get back to Writer's Group, especially since another one is happening at a nearby bookstore on the first Monday of each month
This weekend was a little more indulgent than I planned. VERY late dinner Saturday when E finally got home. 1.5 beers went down smoothly. I was sipping on Ithaca Apricot Wheat while I waited for E and then I had a half of a coffee and cream stout at a place called Triumph Brewery in Princeton. LOVE that town. The beer, a local brew, was fantastic!
There was NO formal working out due to all the cleaning and errands-running. Therefore, I'm hitting it hard this week so my first May WI is a good one and so I don't feel bad celebrating my birthday next weekend.
Full admission: the scale is up to 237 today. Saturday's dinner was quite salty. Today I need to chug my water like a college student with celebratory shots at the bar on their 21st birthday.
I took a break from cleaning house to develop my plan, but I gotta admit, figuring out dinners is getting hard again. I don't get it--I've been doing this for years. Why am I struggling now? Perhaps it's the change in season and the struggle to rewire my brain to think summer foods. (The good news: veggies and snacks are prepped for the week! I even made my oats last night.) Anyway, here we go:
MONDAY:
Breakfast: Egg Beaters with Laughing Cow cheese on a Fiber One English Muffin
AM Snack: smoothie made with Greek yogurt, skim milk, baby spinach & 1/2 a banana
Lunch: @ work (egg white omelet with ham and tons of veggies and light wheat toast OR salad with grilled chicken and beans OR turkey sandwich)
Snack 2: 1/2 cup of FF Greek yogurt with unsweetened cocoa powder, Splenda & 1/2 cup of strawberries
Workout: 30 minute wog & weights (not gonna lie--it's gonna be a challenge to fit this in between work and 7pm writers group)
Okay... so perhaps ordering Chinese last night wasn't the smartest thing to do before WI day. Still, I lost 1/2 a pound because we were smart about it: steamed chicken and broccoli, garlic sauce on the side. The only not smart part was wonton soup. I was craving it. E's been sick with a nasty, nasty headcold, so he needed the steamy chicken broth.
This now means I've finally broken my plateau, losing 10lbs in 2010 and FIVE pounds in the month of April. Yippee! If I do this again in May, I'll be in the 220s for the first time since 2001-ish.
This weekend's plan is spring cleaning: time to take out the summer clothes and get a few bags ready for Goodwill. Also have to start shopping for Mother's Day and a few birthdays coming up. I'm going to try to sneak in at least one spin class and maybe an outdoor ride this weekend too.
Weight is up. Possibly from too much sodium yesterday or GI issues from more dairy than usual. However, my size 18s are looser than normal and I just fit into three new tops that have been sitting in the "skinny clothes" section of my closet, so I'm not all concerned (just irritated if I don't break the 60lb mark tomorrow!).
