hey!! yesterday was my rejuvination day... and its going pretty darn well so far (mind you, day two!).
i have been slacking off.... following plan in my head but not being diligent about recording or looking up points. thinking i had the numbers right, but realizing quickly on monday that i was WAY OFF! Tuesday morning I decided that I needed to be strict again and record the points, I needed to be cognicent of the things going in my mouth and that THINKING like a diet isnt going to work for someone like me... i need to be stricter. So I renewed my thinking, reocrding my poitns on Monday (freaked out) and then said TUESDAY is a new day! Tuesday went really well, including a off-gym day workout that included lunges, squats, and a series of crunches i found during workout research.
i wasnt as sore as i thought either... even though i worked hard.. which makes me think that my body has more muscle and repairs faster... so i am getting into a better shape. yay!
today is a good day b/c i have made a realization on fast food breakfast, that i can repair... but leaves me educated for the future. we had an associate buy hardees this morning, and i got a chicken biscuit. now i knew it would be bad, but it was 15 POINTS!!!!!!!!!!! Now... that is more than my dinner on an average day... holy crap! You add the 6 points for the hashbrowns, and my breakfast was my lunch too! I was at first upset but realized quickly that i can work with that now that i know it, and plan my day around it and all future eating. instead of thinking it wasnt bad, now that i know it is... i can repair the damage. THAT part makes me feel better about the slip up, and doesnt allow me to fall into the "fat" hole where I just keep destroying the diet!
Today is a gym day.... so I am going in and working off the horrible breakfast. Getting some cardio going and working on raising that cardio vascular level... dont know how that helps me, but the trainer said it did... so lets roll!
this blog thing is great for the weight tracker but sometimes i forget that i need to update myself on here to keep me accountable!
lost a couple of pounds this time around... 1.6ish... and that is GREAT! It has been more than a week but i really needed a loss to keep me on track. I have lost the momentum... after losing 20 lbs you have to remind yourself that you are still in the game and you have more weight to lose. I wasnt getting that message. I didnt gain any back, but i stopped losing for about a week. I didnt want to be someone who fell off the plan, that bothers me mentally and physically... but 3 straight months of watching what you eat can be taxing.
no news on the relocation front... waiting for some to come down the pipe, but waiting mode seems to be the constant here. Oh well.. Indy will still be great when we get there so that is what matters.... getting there safely and together.
Hockey season is starting up again... so Hershey Bears time and I love hockey in the winter... cold weather, cold stadium, cold greatness! and Hershey just grabs my heart... its our place and I love going back there... its impossible to be upset in Hershey! Lets go Hershey World!
Someone is transferring over to take my job... as I am the only one in a department... and its scary because I have been doing this for almost a year now and have been working hard to get it run efficiently and correctly... and passing it just makes me a little sick to my stomach. Passing means its moving on, but id still like whoever takes it to make it as great as I had it once.
Nothing new beyond relocation and replacement.... the boy is doing great and keeping busy b/c October is his busy month... and we are doing well with the relocation possibility. I am waiting for an interview call from a company that has taken an interest, and he is applying to other possibilities to see what is out there. Indy or Bust we say!
i will try to be more diligent... i like the thinking behind blogging... more blogging lady! lets go Thursday!
What I am starting to realize is that the support and group-belonging that comes from this website is irreplaceable... and that stepping away makes the battle a little harder. I need to realize that I am never too busy to put some thoughts down, and that its a great place to work out the stress kinks and check on others who are fighting the same battle. I dont know if I am back on a regular basis.. but I am definitely paying more attention!
I am doing good today... I have a positive attitude about the weight thing... could be that I stepped on the scale for a pre-weigh in check up and I am down another pound.... which hopefully means after a good eating day and the gym tonight.. I will be down 1.5 or 2! I am crossing my fingers for the 270's... come on 270's!!!
I am also feeling light because I have a job interview in Indianapolis and its a little tough for me to make it out there, but they were accomodating and made it clear that they wanted to talk with me so they would try to make it work.... that was awesome! Its really nice to be WORTH the extra energy... good feeling.
My current job is running smoothly with only a hiccup or two.... some big hiccups, but that is part of life. it pays the bills and that means that I am here until I find another bill paying method in Indianapolis! Even though I heard a radio sales ad on the radio for Baltimore and I really wanted to do it! Oh welll. The colts city has radio too!
I CANT WAIT TO BE IN THE COLTS CITY!!
I hope everyone is doing well today and if not... go for a walk and clear your mind and then start over again!
I needed some time OFF from all the life decisions I have been making and I finally decided to sit down and talk it out.
My boyfriend of 15 months has gotten a job offer in Indianpolis, IN and we are waiting for confirmation that it is his. We spent the weekend using pros and cons to talk out the options between staying in Baltimore and moving to Indianpolis. There are some scary parts of this move that leave me crossing my fingers we are doing the right thing.
Pros:
(1) my family is in Indianpolis... (2) boyfriend will keep his job in an area that is growing and he will be a part of building that market...(3) job satisfaction will go up which means a happier us.... (4) moving in with Marc... (5) a city that I LOVE and have spent time in... (6) cheaper rent... (7) cheaper cost of living... (8) really good family support ... (9) a few companies that i am famialr with to help with job search. (10) parents with contacts
Cons:
(1) i will go with no job, or a small chance of having one and will need to start over in Indy... my chances are good and I have a great resume... but will not have a job immediately. (2) leaving my current job behind... (3) the great effort it will take to re-rent my house.. (4) taking abig money hit at first.. (5) relocating stuff... (6) the risks with moving in with Marc.
I dont think the situation is cut and dry, but I think the important things that matter to me and boyfriend are taken care of in Indianapolis. I think that we are ready for the next step in the relatonship, as scary as it is, and I think that we are ready to be in a new place with jobs and work. We have a very good foundation out there as my family is there, i have lived in Indy before myself, and the city itself has a great culture and is near 5 or 6 other metropolises.
I wish i didnt have to do all the stuff that came with moving, and I wish I knew that it was for sure.... as we are waiting for verification that Indy accepts his job application. I dont want to quit my job, rerent my apartment, move my things 10 hours, have to pay to repalce the couch and bed that needs it, and do the hard core job search that is required!! I want to move, but not do the work it requires! funny!!!
I never thought my life would be on this road... tis funny where Love, Work, and Family takes you! For me.. its all over the country!
this week has been a giant rollercoaster.... i am so discombobulated, confused, and exhausted that i dont even think i am going to blog about it yet.... still too confuzzled to get it all out.
i am going to blog that i lose another 2 lbs.... which makes 18.4 in 8 weeks which is exactly as i should be doing.... ... which is good to remind yourself one day as you get impatient!
i think im going to write a long one about everything swirling around this weekend and just work it out through blogging...
sometimes its difficult to put a huge semblance of thought together... or to decide how you feel so you can write it out...
sometimes you just get tired of analying how you feel.... and just decide you dont care enough to explain it.... sometimes the question how are you? is just annoying!
do you ever get tired of being tired? i am starting a solid gym plan, i go at least every other day.... and my work building has just moved so i am working about 11 hour days with a commute that has tripled.... (its only 15 mins, but it used to be 3 mins) ... i am doing way more at work and that is ok, but i am also getting twice the amount of crap for it.
i am living in a state of flux right now... me and marc are very interested in leaving the baltimore area and are taking baby steps to make that possible. we went up to indianapolis where my parents live, and marc fell in love with it.... yay! and then of course, as all things happen this way for me, Marc puts out feelers for a job in the area.... gets an email saying there are tons of possibilities from the HR manager and then gets an email from the ONE hotel in Indianapolis that says they have a position. WHAT THE HELL???
Its the city I want to move to, its the city MY history is in, and he gets a job offer in like... a day! so now... if it works out and the details he is asking for are things we want/like.... it would require all the changes to be on my end... up to and including quitting my job. SCARY! I dont know the extent of the changes, and I dont know if my company can work with me, but i do know it will NOT go over well when i step into that office and say i am moving. Whether that happens now or in a few months, or around April which is our goal... the result is not going to be fun.
Quitting a job is not my style.... of course i have RELISHED quitting jobs for softball in high school... or for going to college when I had a good reason or a good excuse... but quitting a job in general is not something i am comfortable with. I have also carved out a little bit a life here, i am not swimming in friends but these people and i have grown together.... they have taught me how to do this business and believed in me -- its going to be weird to not sit at this desk near these people.
i am having a very weird relationship with my previous trainer... she moved to a new location in New Jersey and we were close but I am discovering that we are now actually friends since she has left. We talk a few times a week, we discuss real life and not just work... and we have a good talks that arent faked b/c she was my boss. She is confiding in me about personal stuff, and I am releasing all that CRAP to someone that understands about work woes. I know being friends with someone in her postion is dangerous because there is stuff going onw ith me right now, that if she told someone here.. i would be in trouble. but it feels really good to have that friendship that i was afraid i would lose.
today is going to be a little rough... my day started out with the soda machine NOT giving me a diet soda and only giving me a regular pepsi. well i pull out my NEW point calculator and discover that bottle has 5 points in it... a 20 oz pepsi is 5 points b/c there are 2.5 servings in it. Well im sorry world, but 5 points is alot for me and im not giving it up to SODA!!! soi bought it and then left it on my desk and will not drink it... now i bought a sugar free lemonade and im checking that point right now...
i am achy, i dont get periods because i am on a migraine controlling around the clock nuva ring regime... but sometimes randomly i get the phantom period pains and its a weird feeling. cannot be expected and ends up hurting with no warning... like today! have a headache, achy body, sore from working out, and no energy.... going to need to PICK UP that attitude and roll....
here is a toast to a good tuesday... without pepsi!
I got up this morning.... I put on my work pants.... and they were LOOSE! It wasnt tight to put them on, it wasnt a suck in moment, and there was no digging in when I sat down.... it was a GREAT moment in history!
NOthing else to report... that is enough awesomeness for me today!
To say that I am stressed out, run down, and exhausted.... would be an understatement. Today is the third day in our new building and I am.... downtrodden. I am tired of finding glitches the hard way, tired of doing 10times more work than normal to keep my head above water, and tired of hitting brick walls constantly.
We have some glitches taht come with a new building.... phones arent consistent, receptionist is a temp, outside sales people are being dicks, and fax machine is flipping out. Our copies wont let us scan, and our printer is moody... is this a big deal... not really. But when you have 5 or 6 people who bitch constantly and wont let any sort of good news stop them, it gets really old trying to tune out the negativity.
I have had an ok week being that my sister is in Spain and I had to drive away from my family... even worse I JUST MISSED HER CALL!!!!! I hate that!
Totally slammed today, my hip hurts from working out yesterday and my spirit is withered....
My sister has officially left for Spain... and I was an emotional wreck. I am doing better now that she called me and I could hear her voice in Spain... woot!! I wish i was there to watch her experience all that stuff.... and see her so happy and trying out a semesters worth of greatness!! I am driving home from Indianapolis today... and this weekend was pretty rough on the diet. Eating out, buffets, leftovers, and emotional rollercoasters left me stretching every point I had.... beyond the breaking point.
I dont know if I have gained, but I have four days to lose it all again.... gym here I come!
I miss you Tess! I will be skinny when I see you next!!!
... which is good to remind yourself one day as you get impatient!