my new body composition and the JOYS of doing the research
GUESS WHAT?!?!?
I am on weight Watchers as a plan... and have been very successful with it, but am STUCK in this plateau from hell. So in order to beat this damn plateau I have signed up with a personal trainer and made it into a game... upped my cardio levels and begun meticulously tracking my food intake. (for better or worse)
So... (getting to the good stuff now)... my personal trainer had a sheet where we had to take all those measurements of HELL including weight, body fat %, and lean mass amount.
So here are the results: HOW FREAKING EXCITING!!
WW told me that with my age/height my goal weight is 184 (to be at the TOP of the spectrum) and within my BMI range.
My personal trainer told me:
I have 163.2 lbs of muscle and bones in my body.
I have a 30% body fat score.
Women need to be between 16-25% body fat to be in a healthy range, and I AM NOT THAT FAR OFF!!
Best news though: My GOAL weight for MY BODY is 205 lbs!!!! That takes into consideration my muscle mass, body fat %, and height. Therefore, I am only 30 lbs away from my OPTIMUM weight for my body composition. TOTALLY ATTAINABLE!!!!!
Last bit of fun news: 217 lbs is the HIGH for optimum range in my body composition, so I am only 17 lbs away from HEALTHY!!!
So yes... I had a great appointment yesterday. We also went over which muscles I would like to work and what cardio I need to PUSH on to reach my target ranges. We agreed on three things to do after I leave:
(1) Add in a day of cardio in my exercise mix, one day more than I have been doing
(2) Replace a meal with a salad and protein shake once a day
(3) Push Ups and Ab workouts to work on my triceps and CORE.
All of these i CAN do and it just becomes a whole new ballgame when I get this confidence and excitement and just bubble with possibilities. Not only that, but I am literally frothing at the mouth waiting for 5pm to come around so I can go to my exercise class!!! Muscle Boot Camp here we come!
One side effect: guilt. My sister is coming into town today so I need to be ready to pick her up at the airport and if she catches an earlier flight I cannot work out. I skipped class today to eat lunch with a colleague because it was their last day, and I felt really bad about missing the spinning class. So I will have NOT worked out yesterday or today, and tomorrow is T-Giving... so My momentum will have significantly dropped down. I FEAR that I will not get back into it! Dont let my lazyness win, stick with it lady!
Happy Holidays to all, i shall blog after the weekend and update on how it was, how much exercise I did, and if I can report a loss!
I have a personal training appointment tomorrow at my new gym in my new city! It has been about a year since the last time I had my body measurements taken, and I am really excited to see that success. When you are going through a plateau, learning how many inches you have lost can really burst that frustration bubble! Not to mention, getting some sound advice on how to gain muscle/lose fat and get into a lifting routine -- how very exciting!
sidenote: I took a picture about 2 months ago with me in a new shirt that i just adored from Kohl's. It fit better than a second skin and looked amazing on me, so I used my camera phone to nab a pic in the mirror. While I found it again today on my phone and added it to facebook b/c I thought it was really complimentary of my figure. People went nuts!! I have received so many great compliments from it... and it really makes me feel so happy and prideful that I have made such progress.
(bad thought of the day: the picture is from a slight side angle so i look thinner than I am, but who the hell cares... its ME and not photo shopped so why be a downer girl)
either way... its been a good Monday! I get to take a turbo kick class tonight too and I cant wait for the kick ass BUTT I get... and the renewed exercise adrenaline rush. Looking forward to exercise REALLY makes me feel good too... I feel like a renewed spirit!
Today.... I had a "team bonding" activity with my softball team that I coach... and it just taught me that maybe I am not as much of an adult as I thought. Lessons like that really wear on my soul.... all I wonna do is be perfect!! I wont go into more detail because I need to be less hard on myself, but I did struggle with being a role model but still a 24 yr old!
Weight wise -- this week has been very frustrating!! I have not really shown a dip on the scale and with the amount of work I am doing.. there is nothing worse!
I am charting every thing I eat this week so I can make sure that I am really being honest about my points and really look myself in the eye and KNOW why if I do not lose. But the amount of exercise I am doing mixed with my better eating habits... I need to have a loss here soon! A big one! The scale did show 231.6 today before dinner, which is the lowest I have seen in 8 weeks.. BUT I do not want to get my hopes up. I need to see that number consistently before I believe it. ::goes to weigh herself again... its an addiction::
A great 3 day work week coming up.... and some solid family time -- what I need! My sister comes home and I have three trips to the gym planned... so that means I am holding my promise to stay in shape, and moving towards getting out of this plateau abyss. I will hit 100 lbs by 7/4/09... i WILL!
-- that is my face right now. The I cant decide how i feel, but something is different face. My mom gave me a pair of pants that she said just barely did not fit her and used to be my little sister's. They are a size 16 and they are GAP... neither of which I have worn in the past, even recently. I haev been iffy on what pants size i wear now because an 18 is too big, but a 16 can be too tight (based on who I buy it from)... but I found a 14 at Avenue that fits just fine -- super weird!
Anyways.... so these 16's from GAP feel GREAT. They fit me, they are not too tight at all, they fit snug so I feel womanly -- and they are a bit loose in the legs so I feel like I am not sausaged in them at all. They also make me feel thinner... that if I can fit into these pants -- I had to have toned up or lost some weight.
Ok.. brief moment of complete selfishness and horribleness. this is why i like blogging, because I can get out the horrible thoughts and be free of them... and also feel great writing down the great thoughts! Wearing these pants means that I am smaller than my mom... and getting very close to being smaller than my sister -- maybe there already. I only weigh 10 lbs more than my mom, but I am 5 inches taller... and with STRONG intentions of being 200 lbs and getting there before July 2009. The reason why this is a horrible thought is... I am happy that I am not the fattest in the family anymore. That makes me a horrible person right? I have never worn the smallest size, or been able to share clothes with mom or sister, or ever been the person that people had to leave the fat people store for. i WANT to be that person... I want to NOT FIT into Lane Bryant because I am too SMALL!
I do not want to go weigh myself, because if the number is the same or higher -- I will be upset and that is stupid. I have worked out three times since the last weigh in, and will again today. I have lifted and done circuits, so my muscles are growing and my fat is leaving -- but the scale may not change. I need to remember that. The scale changes NEXT week and the week afterwards... it takes a few weeks to see those successes.
I do not know how much progress I have made this week with weight, but i do know that my ethic for working out has restored itself and i get EXCITED about going to the gym. We are starting a raquetball group, there are classes that I know people in, and I can train in their circuit training too. Its the gym experience for me... fitness made fun with lots of options and times. It is also always really crowded and it feels good to be working out with alot of people -- take away the loneliness.
Ok.... got off track in my blog ramblings -- or maybe stayed on the crazy track I intended too. Either way... no news to report on my weight or if I have conquered my plateau, but I am so much better mentally that It always doesnt matter! THAT is a great feeling!
-- does everyone else hate Plateau's as much as me? I have found that my anger that is wrapped up in the scale not moving for two months, is OUT of control! My weight watchers leader says that you can mentally stop your body from losing weight but not believing it will happen -- so maybe I am sabotaging myself. Wouldnt that be karma?
Either way... the scale has stayed on the exact same number... which everyone says GREAT you didnt gain, but my clothes fit better -- I should have lost. No i didnt go to the gym, no my muscles arent better... and yes I understand it was a snapshot of my weight... not necessarily the true number. Just so very frustrating!!
Ok... well I have joined a different gym, started a circuit workout and really learned how to do it right. i am going at lunch today and renewing my spirit... 3-4 workouts before the next weigh in HAS to show a difference... or I will go crazy.
clear the mind, stop the mental blockage, and start the rejuvination -- a plateau is not the endo f the world... losing 70 lbs is nothing to be upset about... and the rest will come, just like the first 70 did. I have 36 weeks to lose 30 lbs... i can do it!
ok... i feel a bit better... come on 220's. I saw you on the scale Tuesday... now if only the damn WW scale would regsiter that as well!
GUESS WHAT?!?! I finally hit the 220's. Now I am at 229.9, BUT that is the 220's! So very neat and exciting... and a neat goal that I have been aiming for a long time... it feels like almost 3 or 4 months. That is probably not very true... but it feels like forever!
I hit my first major plateau this past month or two and it is so hard on the soul. It just feels degrading, frustrating, and I can totally understand my people want to quit. I know that the road wasn't as easy as I am making it sound, but it does feel like I breezed through this past 1.5 years and then hit a brick wall recently. Each struggle seems like less of a big deal when you have time to look back on it, but for right now -- this struggle feels like the hardest.
I have stopped logging points, and skipping meetings has become acceptable when it NEVER was before. I have stopped being strict on things, and started to let myself get by with cheating more times than I used to. I dont really know how I did so well this week -- but I do FEEL like I have dropped a few pounds this week as well. I gained 3 in a week, so its possible to lose that much... but so very rare at this stage in the game.
My company is doing a "biggest loser" competition internally to help keep everyone in shape, its volunteer and you have to lose 1lb a week or you pay $1. Well... with me having already lost 70 lbs, to lose 1lb a week is more difficult than it is for everyone else. Therefore, this game is shredding my confidence levels because I am losing... only 2% of my body weight in two months. Another guy in the company lost 100 lbs in 8 months. Now i KNOW that is unhealthy, but its still very frustrating!!!
Anyways... its GREAT news to hit 70 officially on the scale, and to hit the 220's. I never thought I would get to this point... its 20 lbs past my lowest that I can ever remember as a teenager/adult. I want to get down to 180 lbs, so I have about 50 left to go -- but refuse to let that concern me. If i can lose 70 lbs and have it feel easy, then the last 50 will come off like butter!
I know how to do it now, its just a matter of buttoning down and actually doing it!
sidenote: I found out that my brain disease, which is not a brain tumor but close enough to be scary, has a side effect that ANY weight loss could mean it coming back. Therefore, it doesnt matter that I lost 70 lbs, if i gain 5 lbs back... I am in danger again. So a little added pressure on this end, that if I want to NOT deal with the drugs/therapy of being sick again, I need to NOT gain weight! Everyone says.. "well good, isnt it nice to have something looming to really keep you on track"... and the answer is NO!
(yes pregnancy will be difficult and therapy required, but that is a whole new story that I refuse to worry about yet... I am only 24.. there is no room in my stressed out brain to consider those options yet)
But lets NOT dwell... lets be happy about the 220's and the 71 lbs lost... and enjoy that for a few moments! :)
I measured myself with a tape measure, and that is on top of clothing... and amateur but some neat finds. and WEIRD ones!
My chest is a size 12 my waist is a size 16 my hips are a size 18.
uhh... where does one find an outfit that works with that! :)
Anyways... so that is why my size 16 pants still feel a bit tight, my hips arent going down at the same rate. silly girl hips. so WISH I had my starting measurements -- it would be so neat to find out how many inches I lost!
Another 6 weeks without blogging... I need to learn!
I have not always had the time to blog, and when I started at extrapounds.com it was because I had a job where blogging was easy to do during down time. then I moved and my life basically picked up and ran off, and I have not been keeping up with it. I find that very frustrating, because blogging is a great method of clearing the junk and I am not taking care of myself completely if I dont do that. It is a bit like my new puppy -- if I dont let him run, he will just build up and then eventually eat an entire shoe or something!
So... a little update and then a whole lot of mental clearing! It has been a very long 6 weeks, in fact most of it I do not remember. I have had some weight successes, but most recently some failures. Although lets be realistic, there are very rarely failures when I have lost 70 lbs already. Just a mental shift that I need to make so I do not sabotage myself... or give up!
Softball has been a great relief for me, and coaching my 16 yr old kids has really taught me about life and revivied my energies. I live for Sundays when its practice time and count down the days until it tournaments time... I cannot wait for the Summer! :) They also keep me young and remind me of the times when I didnt let stupid stuff bother me, and that is nice to revisit as well.
I have started seeing a shrink because of my anxiety issues. I seem to get stuck on a thought and cannot let it go, and then it festers and creates anxiety that I cannot control. I also have a large fear of flying, and my job requires it -- so I am dealing with coping mechanisms and tricks for that as well. Although, I am doing good being that I just took two trips on an airplace in October alone! I survived both literally and mentally!
So the past two weeks have been the major changes in life... and by major I mean earth shattering! Although nothing really to do with weight loss.. until last Tuesday! So about two weeks ago I took a flight to Richmond, VA to visit my sister and best friend, along with a road trip to Charlotte to see my aunt that was dying of ovarian cancer. I was very very anxious about the trip for several reasons, and it turns out some of my fears came true. I had to fly there, at night after work... which was no fun. Then, I slept at my sister's apartment -- which is great but still a college student and i was jammed in there. When I landed, we found out the aunt we were going to visit, had just died. TRAGIC! We had planned to see her, thought she would make it, and then two days early she passes -- it was really emotionally taxing. BUT my sister had a big test and we just could not mentally deal with the emotions behind it, so we shut it out.
that meant one thing - we FOUGHT the entire two days!! Then we drove to charlotte as planned and visited with the family that all flew in, so same trip, different reason -- and that was really stressful. tons of family reunion with my dad's side. he has great siblings, but we are very much different... he is one of the more successful ones and my mom is different from them, so its just really intense alot. Our family are ALL A-type personalities and have been very successful, and that is not entirely true for the rest of our extended family -- so it feels like we are either spoiled or they are resentful sometimes. Not so much now that we are adults, but i do fear it was like in the past... and no one really touches the topic. Furthermore, we do NOT deal with emotions either -- so it was great to see everyone but so stifling in sadness and ignored topics.
Saturday we got up and drove back to Richmond, I had a wedding (whcih was the reason for heading down at this time) and we didnt stay for the funeral because we had both made plans in Virginia. There is some guilt there, especially because my dad spoke and I would have liked to see that, but we both know that my aunt would be fine with it. So we are moving on... after we got back, things seemed to improve hugely. I calmed down a bit, sister got less picky, and we just settled into having one another close.
I miss her like crazy, and my best friend lives there too -- so it was just a really emotional but great time to see them both. My best friend is studying seminary, which veers greatly from my lifestyle, but it was neat tos tep into her world and meet her friends and her lifestyle. with her being in florida for most of the past two years, virignia makes her happier and it 1/2 the distance!
Ok.. the weight part... dreaded mind clearing needed!
When I went to Va, I had showed a .8 loss (went to WW with my best friend who lost 2.6 lbs on week two) and was wearing jeans, so I felt very good about it. then, with all the other junk i went through... my WI the first day back in Indiana showed a 3 lb gain! WHAT?!?! I have never gained 3 lbs in one week during my WW journey, and it was the most frustrating thing EVER! I even went to a meeting on vacation, and this happens. SCREW IT! now I didnt actually do that, but I did take a day to get my head back on straight, maybe two. I didnt do too bad points wise, but I didnt lose myself in the anxiety either. I just avoided... getting good at that!
this week, I think that I lost at least 2 of those 3 lbs back down... but it is so frustrating to lose 70 lbs, almost consistently a lb a week and then spend the month of october NOT moving at all. so many people say it could be worse, but I dont do worse --- i work my butt off to NOT have weeks like this, and mentally it is sooo draining!
I started counting points again, making better choices, and paying attention to exercise. Another helper is that we adopted a boxer/lab puppy, so i walk him every night -- and he really invigorates the room (except at the 4 am walkings). I almost look forward to tugging him down the street on a leash, and cant wait until he can keep up with my bike. He is a cutie, a great dog, and definitely a good addition to the family -- so hopefully he will contribute to my weight loss as well.
This week WI is tonight, not sure how its going to go. I have been getting sick, but not drinking water -- so that is a big mistake. I am going to chug down fluids here like crazy and hopefully get my body back into the gear it recognizes. I have been sitting at 69 lbs for almost a month now... lets see it 70!! lets see it!!!!
Lastly, my new shorterm goal. Get down to 75 lbs lost by December 17th. We are going to Baltimore to visit the boyfriends family and seeing them thinner, and seeing all my old friends having lost a teenager off my body -- that will be SOO NEAT! 75 lbs... only 6-7 lbs away, and 6-7 weeks away -- totally doable! OMGosh... can we do 80 lbs lost?
Good morning all! I have been running around for the past few weeks busier than I thought, since I have not posted on here in almost a month. WOW!
Well, I am back to poor out all my joy and fears and then hopefully get back to work!
Today's celebration: I have lost 66.4 lbs! Can you freaking believe that? I have almost lost a 10 year old off my body. I cannot believe that I have stayed dedicated enough and on this path to say that I have come this far and am STILL stoked about going the rest of the way. I still like to count points and enjoy reading labels to learn more about nutrition. I still look for better way to make recipes and explore serving sizes. THAT means it might be a life change, and THAT is the best part!
does anyone else feel like when they have weight loss success and tell people it feels like gloating? Sometimes I feel like people think I am conceded because I want to celebrate my success. Maybe its my own personal issue of reading too much into it, but they cannot understand how I feel at that moment (Fat or thin) and its an entirely personal mission. BUT... if I do not celebrate then I will lose the drive and feeling of success.
With almost 67 lbs off my body, I am starting to get closer to being the size of my mom and sister. It comes with a bit of guilt because neither of them are having huge success, but i cannot figure out how to help. If I push it doesnt work, if I encourage healthy eating they get annoyed, and they haven't found what reason works for them. They have not had the same success, but I have been working HARD for it. People think because the weight keeps coming off that It is easy. WHAT?!?! What part of watching everything I eat with exercising harder than before is easy?
My boyfriend has lost 25 lbs now too... which is really neat! He was always a cutie, but seeing him feel good and be thinner with me makes it a more partner mission. He ALWAYS has something supportive to say and I dont think I would be where I am without those little comments. ("Everytime I touch you, you are a smaller -- I can feel it!") We are 9 lbs away from losing 100 lbs together! NEAT!
I dont know many details but my Dad is having some good successes as well! He has gone down two pants sizes and I believe has beaten or is pushing to beat the 300 lbs mark. GREAT!!!! He is going to come to the YMCA with me after his business traveling and that will be really cool too.
Not too much sludge in my head to get rid of... it seems that things are running smoothly for right now. I was sick all weekend and will be traveling for work Thursday and Friday of this week -- so I am sure the stress will pick back up soon! For now, my love, my family, and my life -- are keeping me overjoyed! :)
SHORT TERM GOAL: Be in the 220's by October 14th for my trip to Virginia.
I hit the 60 lb mark... and with a two pound loss last week... can say I am now 61 lbs thinner. HOLY CRAP!! It feels like the longest process ever, and it makes complete sense because I am proving that patient and consistency shows success. But lets be honest.... patience wears thin! I am doing great and feeling good about the weight loss and am proud as freaking hell that I can say I have lost 61 lbs... come on Categet happy!
I have had a few rough weeks physically, emotionally, and weight lossy and I am running out of energy to fight all these battles at the same time. I am determined not to let weight loss fall aside while I get all these details together -- but the past few days have shown that I might be letting that happen. I have not passed weekly points yet, but I am close and have a weekend and 4.5 days left on this week -- which only causes stress later down the road for me. I thought about doing core so I could throw away the counting points concept, because it slowly drives me absolutely nutty, but there are not enough foods on the core plan that I eat. I would be going nutty trying to reformulate my diet instead of counting points, and how helpful is that?
so... the other issues in my life -- SEX!! I have not been in the mood lately and i feel like sex is a sort of communication between two partners. It keeps irrittation at bay, cements a connection, and reduces stress in your life. I have been so preoccupied with my life that I have not been in the mood for love making and that stresses me out -- its like a never ending circle of stress. Then I worry that my boy is going to think I am not attracted to him anymore, and then I worry different issues will arise, and its a never ending source of stress. Who would have thought that whether your having alot of it or none of it... sex is always a source of stress!
More issues... I have been asked to coach a 16U travel softball team in the area, and that opportunity is so so so so exciting. At first I was worried that I would not be able to handle it, and then I went to try outs and just LOVED every minute of it. There is some stress wrapped up in building a team and making sure its right for our organization and for the girls who join us... and more stress than I would like when it comes to chasing the girls I really want and their fickle attitudes. I sell all day people... sometimes it gets old and selling myself to 16 yr olds can be just as stressful if not more than selling to adults! A 16 yr old cares about WAY different things, and convincing them you know what is good for them without actually saying that is very tedious. My head is about to explode from the stress that entails, and its been just under a week!
I am super excited about the team though and the opportunities I will be providing the kids and myeslf in the coming year. I have dedicated every weekend in the summer to this and already feel the competitive and exciting hum that comes with travel softball. MY passion!! I am so totally stoked about getting started and only two days away from our first official practice --- yay!
Work -- i said to my boyfriend last night that I wasnt really happy at my job and he flipped out, asked me how long I had thought that and never said anything. I said that i felt like being not happy at a job you have had less than a year is really part of life, and figuring out what you want to do and how you fit in takes more time than that. At least I hope so... because if it stays like this - blah blah blah. I am getting crap for wanting to take all my vacation this year, and constantly worrying about being out of the office and not making quota. I spend countless hours freaking out about not hitting my monthly goal and then the embarrassment that comes from being a newbie who cant hit some lower quota than everyone else has. Especially because the girl who started two weeks before me just got promoted to a higher spot and I am the leader for my group now -- and not performing the month that change happens is highly embarrassing!! At least to my competitive self. People miss quota all the time here... get into closed door meetings and stern talking to's.... but i havent had that yet, so I am unprepared for that phenomenon of awkwardness. there is no guarantee I will miss it this month, but also no positive feelings of hitting it... so STRESS central.
did I mention i was stressed out?
I am sick now... runny nose, stuffy head, exhausted body, sleepy eyes, and DONE mental attitude. Hopefully my body gets it together... cant be out of the office or its totally frowned upon and judged later. ARGH!
-- that is my face right now. The I cant decide how i feel, but something is different face. My mom gave me a pair of pants that she said just barely did not fit her and used to be my little sister's. They are a size 16 and they are GAP... neither of which I have worn in the past, even recently. I haev been iffy on what pants size i wear now because an 18 is too big, but a 16 can be too tight (based on who I buy it from)... but I found a 14 at Avenue that fits just fine -- super weird! 
-- does everyone else hate Plateau's as much as me? I have found that my anger that is wrapped up in the scale not moving for two months, is OUT of control! My weight watchers leader says that you can mentally stop your body from losing weight but not believing it will happen -- so maybe I am sabotaging myself. Wouldnt that be karma?