sometimes the obsession can be wearing on the spirit
I am obsessed... and so concerned on a weekly basis what losing the weight, going to the gym, following poitns, and showing success on the scale. and TODAY... that obsession is really wearing on my spirits. I just want to be able to eat what I want, and not worry about that fateful moment on the scale. Well that is not entirely true... i want to be able to eat and function without being overly concerned about whether the scale will drop at the next meeting.
I understand there is a middle ground, but when I live the middle ground -- i do not stay dedicated. i am all or nothing, and right now ALL is slowly killing me. My body is tired, my spirits are dwindling, and my motivation is lacking -- i am just run down.
The other thing... i care so much about losing weight yet cant seem to make myeslf stay below points this week... its usually not a problem for me but this week I just want to eat everything in sight. So i am upset about gaining, but probably will gain because of bad food habits... and am working out hard core, but it seems that only keeps my weight gain from beign MORE not losing. and another day of gain or stay the same on the scale is NOT what my spirit needs....
alot of ranting... but i need to be below 244. i have been at or near that for a month... i dont have a month to waste trying to get by a number... i want to reach 60 lbs (2.6 away) and i want to continue losing like I have been... and im TIRED of the plateau... whether its a realistic part of dieting or not.
TIRED!