I had a rough weekend!!! I went to a buffet ate of course I already mentioned this! Then my neighbors got married at their house and the husband brought me over a huge piece of italian wedding cake. I hid it in my microwave from my kids so that they wouldnt be tempted before dinner and guess? what? My kids never knew it exsited!!! I ATE the whole thing!!! Then this morning I weigh myself and Im down a whole pound! What a kick in the ass that is. I guess my binging hasnt caught up with me yet!!! I'm praying that im just binging like this because Im getting my period or something. Thing is I never get my period. I havent had it in three months and I never know when Im gonna get it. ever since I got fat my periods are so screwed up. So maybe its coming. I am kind of crampy and very bitchy but i thought it was just because Im mad at myself for eating so much crap this weekend. Another weird thing Its Tuesday now and Im back to not being hungry again. what is this all about???? It seems really that I can go 3 or 4 days without pigging out then Im hungry uncontrolably! What is going on? And Am I going to fail? Will I always have to fight like this to stop eating like a freakin pig? Somebody please help me!!!!!! LOL
Last Thursday a woman i work with her name is Shirley was sitting in the office talking with some of the managers and they were having a good conversation when suddenly in mid sentence she stopped talking. She had a very puzzled look on her face and then dropped to the floor. The medics got there in no time at all but were unable to save her. She died.
Shirley was only 54 years old. She was over weight didnt excersise she hardly ever ate right. It scared the shit out of me. She was a great person and I can't believe she is no longer here. Rest In Peace Shirley. i will miss you!
as much a s I love my weekends I tend to want to just sit around eating. so yesterday i really blew it we went shopping and then we went to a really neat place that i have never been before! A BUFFETT!!!! Wow it was great. i should of Just said NO!!!!! The food was really good. Plus we had a great time. i hope I never have an urge to go there again!!!!
So today I have to do everything possible to stay on track.
well compared to yesterday today was a good day. I bought a car yesterday and traded in the Xterra god I loved that truck!!! I hate buying cars it is such a long and dreadfull process and to top it off the financial guy (the one you sign the papers with) well he asked me out on a date. im so damn insacure I think I scared him off. whenever someone shows interest in me I always think they're up to something and really not interested. I dont know what i thought this guy would be up to cause I already bought the car It even already had my plates on it. so I ruined another potential relationship. I'm not even ugly in fact i finally had my daughter take a picture of me so i could post it on here. I have another one already on my computer but for some reason it wouldnt allow me to upload so this is me! It was taken just a few hours before I ruined my potential relationship!!!! I hope I get better with my inner self. I just dont see what others say they see. People even say that i dont look that fat, I weigh 199 how can that look "not so fat???" Theyre lying. I dont need to be lied to i can totally handle the truth. I'm already fully aware of it. So i just wish people wouldnt say so many things just to be nice, be honest that means more. Plus it motivates me. well im rambling!!! i better go excersise or something.
yiippppeeeee!!! i weigh 199.5 damn if I had one shoe on i wouldve been so disapointed!!!! I have to try my best to stay under 200 jeeeze sounds easy huh. well this hasnt been easy at all. One thing can set you off at any minute. My inspiration was my sister this weekend. I had her over and after not seeing her in a few years (keep in mind shes only 17 years old) I couldnt believe how heavy she was. anyway on my way to get her I bought a dozen donuts as a breakfast treat for all the kids in my neighborhood that hang out at my house. Well I know my son ate one and my daughter had 2 well guess which family member ate the rest??? you got it!! She ate all the others. that was a big inspiration for me. when i saw how much and the things that she ate it turned me into a health food freak. (of course this only lasted while she was there), Im back to normal now. i was so good with excersise and eating this weekend. Im getting better and very proud I hope it will last!
Guess what i weighed myself! I havent even lost a lb well thats what i get for screwing up. Im not discouraged I know I can do this atleast today i know I can do this!!!! I will hang in there I will be skinnier healthier and happier........................someday
Well i have been away at work for a few days which sometimes makes dieting easier. I work out of a mobil unit so being in my mobil lab deffinetly makes eating less so much easier. although the long hours make you tired and being tired makes ya eat stuff you shouldnt be eating. i think I did ok except for last night! I came home and ate turkey keilbasa that wouldve been fine until after that i started craving panckakes. Of course I could only talk myself out of eating them for so long and then i gave in so at the worst time (11pm) i made panckakes. They were so freakin good!!!!!!!! I concider this to be ok because i only screwed up last night and no other time but damn it was Awefull. It seems like I get myself to 200lbs than I eat something thats going to make it harded for me to break the 200's. today im back to normal. im not craving whacky things and Im eating healthy again. I hope tomorrow I can say the same! God just get me through please...............
Just one day at a time! im down to one hour at a time today is a rough day because it is raining usually im avoiding the indoors so food isnt so tempting!!!! I think i can I think i can I know I can i know I can!!!!
ashleyb has said it all in her blog on the 21'st The dieters ugly syndrome is really what i went through yesterday! If I had only read her blog yesterday i wouldnt of hit up Wendy's. LOL
Well today is a new day and I refuse to weigh myself I think I will wait a week. I need to regroup myself pull myself back together and get my fat ass back on track.
so on with the Yago then off for a long walk with my Blue baby! good luck all and keep inspiring me Ashleyb if we only lived closer I know we'd be skinny minny's by now!!!!!!
