Where should I start......

I guess the problems all started when I was just a kid...... My weight went up and down like an elevator at the Ritz..... As a kid I learned that eating cheeseburgers from Mcdonald's was Ok, but back then we did not have "Super size" menus where the drink cups were so large they can not fit in most cup holders, and the meals did not come with 2 pounds of french fries..... We got the Happy Meals and were always excited, because the food came in a neat little box with a toy.... And they still do.... I mean today you can get a double cheeseburger for 99 cents as well as a list of other goodies to fill the bag..... for 6 dollars you can eat like a king.... (Dont get me started on Burgr King now)..... Same deal..... 99 cent value items for people who really want to stuff the food down after a night of drinking and dancing which leads them running for the drive thru at 2am for the "Open 24 hour" chow..... Grease soaked burger wrappers (And they put no napkins in the bag usually)... Over salted or under salted fries which most of the time taste like they had been sitting in a leather wallet for a day... And lets not forget the 64 ounce soda that they wheel out to you on a push cart that will not fit in the average cup holder so it is propped on the seat while driving with greasy hands.... My god I can actually feel myself getting fatter sip by sip...... But these are the things that we deal with, and live with because we all become "Comfortable" with eating, and those things eventually become hard to break away from....Sort of like eating 4 to 6 slices of an 8 slice Pizza....Which lately has been easy for me to do, because I am once again back in the habit of eating once a day...At this point I am ready to eat a Blue Whale and end up feeling like one after I "Binge"...... It is to the point sometimes where I feel like "All eyes are on me" when my food comes..... I go to my one favorite place for prime rib and I get the 2nd choice cut which is called the King and when it is brought out to me you would think some people have never seen a piece of meat in all of their lives (Like it should come with a camera for people to take photos of it)..... Most places now have no concept of portion control, and I think a lot of people have the thought in the back of the mind "Well he is big enough that he must just eat all day and night non stop".... Very far from the truth, but for me even when I was 228 pounds a few years back I was ALWAYS a big guy....I have barn door shoulders and a wide frame so no matter what weight I walk through the door at it always looks like I am a train coming through the tunnel...... Do I like being a big guy? To a point yes, but also it can be very depressing...... Always feeling Judged by others and "Not good enough" for people....It hurts..... So what am I to do....... Where do I or should I start? Well that is all for tonight, but I will edit this again Tomorrow and finish it all.....Anyone with anything to say please feel free to comment..... Keep your eyes peeled for the next installment.....

Doug