ALL SMILES!!!
Well today was a good day guys! I got up did my 15 min. of yoga, and walked on the treadmill for about 25 min. Went to work, got several complements. I always wear scrubs, but today I was able to wear regular clothes. My scrubs swallow me whole now, so I think everyone was in shock when they were actually able to see how much weight I have lost. It's been so long since I have had someone compliment me. It felt great.
After work, I decided that I needed to go and get an outfit for my best friends b-day party tomorrow. Nothing fancy, just wanted to get some jeans that acutally fit me. So I went to the local clothing store, one that I never go to because #1 the bigger sizes look like something my great grandmother would have worn, and #2 nothing ever would fit. So I took a chance. I went in and as soon as I entered the store, I realized, I had no idea what department I needed to go to , Plus size or Misses. So of course out of habit, I went to the plus size, found a pair of size 20's, and saw nothing that I liked in tops. The Misses is next to it, so I wandered over that way, just wondering...hoping... well I grabbed a pair of cute 20's and 2 cute tops. I headed to the dressing room just knowing that the Misses 20's and the plus size 20's are different styles, and different fits. Plus I thought I was just waisting my time. How about I tried on the 1x tops, and they looked good. Boy was I relieved. Then the true test, I tried on the jeans..... well, to my surprise, they were TOO BIG!!!!!! TOO BIG!!!! As I rushed, literally rushed, to put my clothes back on to go grab a size 18, I was overwhelmed with emotion. I got the 18's from the misses section, got back to the dressing room, and UREKA... they fit, damn it they fit. No muffin top, no thighs busting out at the seams, just pure bliss. Needless to say, I am the proud owner of a new pair of size 18 jeans, and two xl tops. Now I know your probably thinking, what's the big deal. Well, for those of you who don't know, when I started out I was in a size 26 pants, and a 3x shirt. I haven't seen 18's and xl's in years. I came home with the biggest smile on my face. My husband asked me did I win the lottery or something, I mean I couldn't stop smiling!!! I told him no, I had something much better. He automatically knew what I meant, and said "so, you found the perfect fit right?" He then told me that he was happy for me and very proud of me. You know, I have been happy with my hard work and effort, but have yet to really be proud of myself, but today I am damn proud of myself.
I have had success in life with my husband, my son, my home, but this is different. This is my renewed self confidence, a rejuvination of my entire being. This is the point that I realize, I am worth it, and why the hell did I let myself faulter years ago. Did I somehow abuse myself, did I stop loving me. I guess I did... however no more. This is a marker in my journey, one that I am so proud of.
Of course I have a long way to go still, but that moment,in that dressing room.... made me realize nothing will stop me from getting where I want to be, and that I am once again finding the old me, and you know... I have really missed her.
Anyways, I just had to share this with all of you. My husband would probably think that my ramblings were crazy, and that it was just a pair of jeans. He wouldn't understand, that their not just a pair of jeans, they are an awakening.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!!!!
Lots of love,
Kami 
