One year ago, I decided to set out and finally do something for myself...to change my life. I knew that the journey would not be painless, and would indeed push me probably harder than I ever wanted to be pushed. I realized that if I continued going at the rate I was then I would surely weigh 400 pounds by the end of the year. My highest weight - a dreadful 308 pounds and growing. In a size 24/26, with very high cholesterol, blood pressure and a body mass index of 49.8, I hit 30 and wondered how I had gotten to this point in my life. I was never an overweight child, or teen. However upon getting married and having a family, I guess I just got into the comfort zone. As the pounds packed on over the years I found myself accepting that this overweight person was who I was going to be forever. I guess, just hitting 30 made me realize how unhappy I was with me.
I had tried to lose the weight in the past and lost about 12 pounds which brought me to 296, but I never stuck to it. So in order to take my life back, I knew that I had to really be ready for the challenge. So with a strong mind, attitude and what I hoped to be enough will power to get me through, I decided to make a change for the better and really stick to it.
The last year has definitley been one of hard work and self control. There have been so many times I have wanted to skip a work out or throw in the towel in and eat till I popped. But I didn't. Evertime those moments arose I thought only about my son and husband. How I wanted to see my son grow up, and to grow old with my husband.
Since May 9th of 2008 when I began this journey I have lost 111 pounds, altogether I have lost 123 taking me from 308 to 185. I have dropped my body mass index to 26.7, gotten my blood pressure to perfect, and dropped my cholesterol to a safe number. I no longer register as obese, I am now just considered overweight!!! Never thought I would smile saying that!!! There are now so many things that have changed and so many things that I can do now that were impossible at 308.
Since I do not have have to carry around an extra 123 pounds, I no longer have sleep apnea. My knees do not ache nor does my back. I am so much more confident when I walk into a room. I can actually cross my legs and fit into a booth at a restuarant. I can run and jump with my son without tiring after 5 min. My son can actually wrap his arms all the way around me to hug me. I can wear a bathing suit w/out feeling like a whale. I no longer have back boobs!!!! I can walk into a clothing store and not feel like the salesperson is wondering if I actually think I could wear something in there, and I can now go to a buffett and not have people wonder if there will be anything left for them.
To do so many things again and to feel confident about myself now has made me come to life. Sometimes it is still a shock that I can wear a size 12 now or a large shirt vs. wearing 24/26 and a 3x shirt. I am still taken back by the fact that people tell me how good I look and not just "well, you have a pretty face", they are talking about the whole package now, not just my head!!!! In fact I was overcome yesterday when I was out shopping with my son. Two men were walking in front of my car, and my windows were down a little so I could hear what they were saying. The one man looked my way and said the the other, wow, she's pretty, and the other guy said, yes she is. It took me a minute to realize they were talking about me. I have not felt attractive, desirable, or even the least bit pretty for the longest time, and to finally feel comfortable in my own skin again is overwhelming at times.
I had a goal to be at the weight 165 by this time, however I am 20 pounds shy of the goal, and I am okay with that, and by far am I disappointed in myself. I am thankful for every step walked,every bike ride, every weight lifted, every yoga stretch, and every drop of sweat because they have made me stronger, wiser, and more determined to win this battle.
I now realize that I am worth the effort, my life my family and friends it's all worth it for me to succeed and to be healthy, so that I can be around a long time on this planet, God willing. I am going to keep reaching for my goal and I know I will hit it before too long. Though reaching the goal I know is not the end, just like any addict, it will always be a constant struggle, this difference is I know I can beat the addiction and it no longer controls me.
I know I have not been the most avid blogger. It's touch and go sometimes. But I would like to thank all of you here at EP that have read my blog and offered a kind word of encouragement or supportive comment. It really means alot to have people who understand where you are coming from and who are going through the same struggles. I fear without all of you and this site I may not have made it this far. So thank you.
Well, this is by far the longest blog that I have done. I just wanted to share where I am at now and what I am feeling a year later. I hope and pray that if you are reading this blog for the first time that you may find some inspiration whether on this site or in your life that helps you achieve your goals. Those of you who are on the same journey that I am, I pray that you have continued success.
The next 20 pounds will probably be the hardest, but then again they just may be the sweetest.
Till next post, take care,
Lots of love,
Kami
